Picture the Halo
universe. Now add an absentminded
, mentally unstable
protagonist with violent impulses
and a penchant for silly exclamations
, a beautiful-but-frustrated AI
, a black Marine
who listens to metal and kicks ass
and brags about his size
, a religious coalition of alien races
hell-bent on activating the Halos (and raping humanity into extinction
along the way), and a legion of horrific zombifying sex parasites
. The result?Halo: Combat Deformed!
Authored by St. Araqiel
with the help of his younger brother, this fic parodies the first game in a rather perverted
manner (he freely admits
he wrote as such because it was the first thing he thought of
). A sequel (Halo 2 Idiots
) has been published as well, but as of July 2008, it is effectively dead
, owing to Attention Deficit Creator Disorder
Volunteers, step up!
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Examples Contained in Both Fics
Examples Contained in Halo: Combat Deformed
- A Date with Rosie Palms: A stealth Elite hiding in Captain Keyes' lifepod.
- Sergeant Johnson, with a charged plasma pistol, and later, in Foehammer's bunk.
- BFG: The M111 Battle Cannon. The Chief doesn't get to use it for long, though.
- Chekhov's Gun: Johnson's belt.
- Dream Sequence/Nightmare Sequence: The Master Chief has one while in cryo-sleep.
- Flat "What.": The Chief's reaction to Guilty Spark's presence aboard the Pillar of Autumn.
- I'll Be in My Bunk: Cortana tells Captain Keyes something to this effect in the beginning.
- Jumping on a Grenade: Sergeant Stacker gets stuck with a plasma grenade while riding a tank and hops off so it doesn't kill the Marine on the jumpseat behind him, too.
- Rewarded as a Traitor Deserves: Though not shown, Ellen Dowski's thanks for betraying the command crew is a fatal gang rape at Covenant hands. Her body is found by the rescue force in the brig of the Truth and Reconciliation.
- Shotguns Are Just Better: The Master Chief swaps his sidearm for a shotgun he finds in the swamp. It turns out to be a good idea.
- Shot in the Ass: Johnson, with needler rounds; the Chief, with an overcharged plasma shot, then a Sentinel beam.
- Too Dumb to Live: The Master Chief. Luckily for him, he has Plot Armor.
Examples Contained in Halo 2 Idiots
I think we're just getting started.