Buying drinks from SCP-294

You're meant to come up with a result for the above test, not create one and answer one in the same post.

Result: A viscous yellow-white liquid. Upon ingestion, D-class showed greatly elevated levels of happiness, and became much more willing to perform acts that would provide enjoyment. Effect wore off after twenty-six (26) minutes.

Test: A cup of 4chan.

Result: A green liquid that turned whoever drank it into a humanoid frog that went by the name "Pepe" who spouts dank memes and "Kek"

Test: A cup of the greatest alcoholic beverage in the universe, bar none

Edited by RJ-19-CLOVIS-93 on Sep 8th 2018 at 8:51:10 PM

Result: A cup of green liquid, Six D-Class personel were used for this test, Five of them died right away and the last words of the sixth were "It's like having your brains smashed in by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick!"

Input: A cup of Martian Water.

"Hey, best way to figure out if there's water on mars, right?" -Dr J.

Result: A cup of water, mixed with large amounts of iron oxide. Testing of substance reveals that the iron oxide is several million years old - exact age cannot be obtained.

Test: A cup of thread necromancy.

Result: A cup of unknown green liquid, approximately 10,000 years old, interspersed with newly-created water. D-Class who consumed the liquid reported an intense desire to imprison the source of the water.

Test: A cup of Hiemal.

Result: A cup of frozen water, topped with a light dusting of snow.

Test: A cup of expletives.

Result: A dark red liquid emitting a strange-smelling smoke, a bleep-like sound was heard upon it being poured. Upon being consumed by a D-class, subject remarked it tasted "fucking terrible" and would for the rest of the day add several swear words to every sentence, along with regularly shouting profanities in various languages.

Test: A cup of what

Result: A pure white liquid, upon testing subjects felt mild confusion over the taste of said liquid.

Test: A cup of The Earthbound Halloween Hack.

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Result: Class D [REDACTED] drank the murky red liquid, and his body immediately split in half from one end of the waist to the other, his [Expletive redacted] was ripped off and shoved down his throat. When Postmortem defecation occurred the sounds of Beethoven could be heard.

Input: A cup of Brain Bleach.

"I need to forget i saw that last experiment..." -Dr [REDACTED]

Edited by Jaxfirebus on Nov 29th 2018 at 9:04:02 AM

Result: An opaque blue-white liquid. Upon ingestion by D-class personnel, subject became extremely confused and agitated, asking where he was and why he could not remember anything. Questioning revealed that D-8912 possesses almost no recollection of any memories, up to and including the memory of his name.

Memo from Dr. Cycerin: "I'd say that rules out the use of this as an amnestic, aye?"

Test: A cup of SCP-294.

Result: A metallic, silvery liquid. Upon chemical examination the drink was seen to contain various seemingly random liquids such as bleach, standard beer, energy drink, and motor oil. Drinking is prohibited.

Test: A cup of epic gamer juice.

Edited by HyperReal on Nov 29th 2018 at 11:24:44 AM

Result: A cup of Doritos flavored Mountain Dew, D-4530 consumed it and then asked to go play some Video Games. Request Approved, D-4530 beat the highscore on [REDACTED] resulting in Dr. Bright terminating the subject.

"I worked for hours on that high score, and that bastard beat it in 10 minutes!" -Dr Bright.

Input: A cup of Grade F Meat.

Edited by Jaxfirebus on Nov 30th 2018 at 9:28:29 AM

Result: SCP-294 refused the order on account of "being immoral". This isn't good

Test: A cup of the Holy Grail's contents

Result: A white, glowing liquid. Upon consumption by D-42069 they exhibited traits of immortality, extreme wisdom, and telekinesis. Subject is being classified as an SCP.

Test: A cup of homestuck references.

Edited by HyperReal on Dec 1st 2018 at 8:36:59 AM

Result: A cup of half yellow fluid, half green fluid. Consumption of the green fluid had no effect on sober subjects, but immediately removed all signs of intoxication in drunk subjects. Consumption of the yellow fluid resulted in [DATA EXPUNGED].

”And that is why you do not eat the Mind Honey.” - Dr. Lechuck

Input: A cup of Danganronpa

bunp

Result: A cup of an unidentifiable white liquid with black swirls. D-5230 consumed the liquid and proceeded to start running around in circles, and transformed into a tub of butter.

Input: A cup of [REDACTED]

Result: [DATA EXPUNGED]

Test: A cup of metafiction

Result: A colourless, low-viscosity liquid. Subject D-8122 ingests liquid. Subject reports that they "feel a prickling sensation in [their] skull" before suddenly becoming catatonic. D-8122 later became active once more, though the subject has been diagnosed as undergoing a major breakdown, presumably brought on by consumption of the drink.

The subject was later terminated by guards after attacking personnel, screaming "Everything we know is a lie!", "[DATA REDACTED]", and various other statements. Requisition of this drink is discouraged.

Test: A cup of Noodle Incident. Memo from Dr. Cycerin: If possible, I would request that both a D-class and an Agent order and consume a cup of this, to see if the result varies based on the subject. If the initial test on the D-class proves harmful, then the Agent should not ingest the liquid, of course.

Result: [DATA EXPUNGED] frog legs [DATA EXPUNGED] anal [DATA EXPUNGED] with a parking ticket [DATA EXPUNGED] gophers.

Let us never speak of this again. -Dr. Chimp

Test: A cup of Australium.

Result: A drink which is made from the water in Australia, a poisonous bug, a koala, and a kangaroo.

Test: A cup of chicken, Tv Tropes, and beer.

Result: A viscous golden-brown liquid, containing chunks of white chicken meat. When consumed, subject reported it tasted like "a mix of Tyson's, something resembling Bud Light, and lem-" before reporting that he felt a tingling at the back of his skull. When asked to describe it, he stated that "the closest word I have for it is 'meta'." Sounds like a midnight party to me. -Dr. Sert

Request: A cup of Deviantart. god help us all

Edited by casioonaplasticbeach on Feb 13th 2019 at 1:23:36 PM

Result: A cup of foul smelling liquid that appears to resemble (OH GOD REDACTED), Upon consumption (JESUS CHRIST, REDACT IT, REDACT IT ALL!) resulting in Termination of the D-class, as well as the self Termination of Dr (REDACTED) and 3 other Foundation personell.

Test: A cup of Overly Honest serum

Edited by Jaxfirebus on Feb 13th 2019 at 2:43:47 AM