Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted. However, they're so clumsy and/or smothering they ruin your life.

I wish the movie industry would stop focusing so much on reboots.

At Anchor NNW:

Granted. However, you can only shape shift into hideous, useless forms.

Granted:Now they focus on Mockbusters.

---

I wish I could become the sole ruler of my country, and have full power so I can finally fix it.

Cornelius, but do not waste in useless pity the few moments left in which to escape from the hands of the enemy.

Granted. You get assinated within a week due to being seen as a dictator.

I wish to be able to switch people's minds.

"Know your place, fool."

Granted, you can now switch them off.

---

I wish my body is Made of Indestructium.

Edited by EnnV on Oct 21st 2021 at 2:38:59 AM

"It's All Fiction!"

Granted, but Indestructium isn't malleable, so you cannot move.

I wish for Healing Hands.

Ever wanted to see the most inexplicably horrifying intro to a game ever?

Granted, literal hands which quickly heal from cuts and wounds, nothing else.

I wish for a blueberry cobbler.

Edited by Taurus-the-Tinker-Bull on Oct 21st 2021 at 3:15:01 PM

Granted. It's poisoned, so you end up paralyzed and unable to move.

I wish for a husky.

"I usually specialize in Dragon-types, but now I'm a fairy and specialize in Fairy-types. See the irony?" - Iris

It’s an aggressive one that bites your face off.

I wish I was a superhero.

Just made a server on discord.Come join me.

Granted. You become Superman in a room full of kryptonite.

I wish to be the greatest horror writer the world has ever seen.

"Know your place, fool."

Granted. Everyone in the world loses their ability to comprehend written, spoken, or visual language.

I wish Slipknot played at the Woodstock 1999 Music Festival.

45 52 52 4f 52 3a 20 49 6e 76 61 6c 69 64 20 73 79 6e 74 61 78 20 65 72 72 6f 72

Granted, you write a bizarre Cosmic Horror Story that a short while later comes true, and you are hailed as the greatest horror writer ever since you perfectly predicted the existence of the greatest real horror in the universe. Unfortunately, people can only hail you as a great horror writer while they are not screaming amongst ψɸ(77) the Eigenlord’s eternal choir, and everyone only gets a split-second break every TREE(3) years.

Granted, they play some of ψɸ(77)‘s music since you are in close metaphysical proximity to an alternate universe where he took over, giving the Eigenlord yet another universe.

I wish no more wishes would result in And I Must Scream scenarios.

Edited by DeepFiemott on Oct 21st 2021 at 1:28:19 AM

Granted. Yours is the last wish that ends as such.

I wish that I could not lose The Game (and if you've read this, congratulations! You lost The Game!)

"Poyo!" "Okey!"

Granted, but I also made it so that nobody else can lose the game

and now that nobody can lose it

it's no longer a game

---

I wish for eternal happiness

"As president of KaibaCorp, I declare your argument as invalid!!!"

Granted: you have nothing else to do anymore.

I with my nearest Walgreens stocked Five Nights At Freddys merch.

Ozzy Xlinder and I are one and the same.

Granted, but it's always sold out when you go to pick it up.

I wish there was a way to upgrade RuneScape Inventory space, like a backpack or something.

"Poyo!" "Okey!"

Granted: but you have to beat a (figurative and literal) Demonic Spider to get it.

I wish I had a prop headstone that reference the part of I Am Ozzy where Ozzy talks about how that bat head was so well known about him that his headstone would read "he bit the head off a bat".

Ozzy Xlinder and I are one and the same.

Granted, the prop headstone somehow hides a live bat that attacks you.

I wish there was a low-focus Runecrafting method in Old School RuneScape.

Edited by DeepFiemott on Oct 22nd 2021 at 8:58:11 AM

Granted. It makes the game so easy, it sucks! People start avoiding this game in favor of more challenging MMORPGs.

I wish I had an anaconda.

"I usually specialize in Dragon-types, but now I'm a fairy and specialize in Fairy-types. See the irony?" - Iris

Granted. It eats you.

I wish to be left alone.

"The only thing which is certain, is that something will happen".

Granted. You're the last living being left on earth

I wish for a Klondike Bar

Edited by Elec-1 on Oct 24th 2021 at 5:02:20 AM

Granted, but it is expired.

---

I wish for an empty piggy bank

"As president of KaibaCorp, I declare your argument as invalid!!!"

Granted. You get a sentient piggy bank that has instinct to devour everyhing into its void, hollow slot.

---

I wish My door to stop being slammed too loud.

Edited by EnnV on Oct 24th 2021 at 11:30:29 PM

"It's All Fiction!"

Granted. Now it won't close at all.

I wish for a shield that could protect me from any attack.

I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.

Granted. You then get swallowed by the earth where said shield is useless.

I wish everyone reversed time.

"I just need one of you to come here to give your life to the sun god. It will be for the monkey city's glory."