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Roleplay / The Prying Hackers

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The meteors fell on Alternia, but there was a way out, whispered from troll to troll. Leaked copies of SGRUB were passed from terminal to terminal, and connections were frantically made. One series of connections were gathered together into a group by a submarine pilot, and formed into an SGRUB session. It was another chance for Alternia to triumph.

But from the beginning, the session was flawed. One member didn't prototype their sprite, leaving the session null; connections were left hanging as the trolls who made them died. Their session would have been null and void — if not for the hackers. Hackers from all walks of life had opportunities to reach into the code and tweak it, able to make outrageous changes. They could alter all the enemies of the game into miniature bosses, Denizens intended to be fought at the end of the game — but they could also fool the game into thinking that it had everything it needed, by adding in essential elements.


Their session was defined by their Prying Hackers, for better or for worse.

The Prying Hackers is a Homestuck roleplay, conducted through the Pesterchum program and posted to the MSPA forums. It tries to stay close to canon, but its premise prevents it from being entirely canonical. You can follow along with its progress by reading the forum thread on the TPH Forums.

Has a character sheet.

This roleplay provides examples of:

  • Alternate Universe: They're called alternate or doomed timelines. Trolls in the hacked session have spoken to people from an unusual amount of doomed timelines.
    • Not to mention the fact that the entire universe is alternate to Homestuck in which only one group of trolls had the game.
  • Anguished Declarationof Love: Sototh for Gallia immediately after Jezron's assault on her and Malhaut.
  • Bad Future: The crew have heard of many, due to the alternate timelines interacting with their alpha timeline. Also Inverted, with at least one Good Future getting in contact with the past.
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  • Big-Lipped Alligator Moment: Malhaut's cat'o'ninetails. After seeing Gallia and Pallida hating on each other, he walked in, gave it to them, and walked right back out again. Gallia and Malhaut later agree never to speak of it again.
  • Body Horror: Anyone who interacts with the horrorterrors is bound to be hurt, but Sototh's eventual fate takes the cake. His eyes were replaced by tentacles.
  • Cabin Fever: When the trolls are all cooped up together, bad things happen.
  • Conditioned to Accept Horror: Aside from being vicious trolls, some of them have been conditioned to accept Eldritch Horror through years of exposure to the horrorterrors.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle: When Pallida fought Gallia for the last time, she ended up with a broken jaw, and nothing to show for it.
  • Death World: Malhaut's world is called the Land of Dismay and Terror. It isn't hyperbole. Swinde's world, the Land of Pyramids and Pollution, seems better — but the pollution is so bad, you need a gas mask just to survive.
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  • Does This Remind You of Anything?: Sototh's 'horrorlogs', transcripts of his discussions with the horrorterrors, can come off as... questionable.
  • Eye Scream: Gallia shows some of this, but Sototh takes the cake.
  • Funetik Aksent: Quite a few of these trolls type in ways which mirror their speech.
  • Fun with Acronyms: Aragua, Signa and Sototh - Team ASS.
  • Genetic Memory: Many of the trolls echo their ancestor's actions, to the point where the characters themselves acknowledge it.
  • Guilty Pleasure: Alcippe's sweets, Gallia's fairytales, Malhaut's sailor tunes...
  • Haunted House: Sototh's unnecessarily creepy mansion-hive, complete with rooms full of Taxidermy Terror and dangerous eldritch trinkets.
  • Hero of Another Story: Sean faces his own trials and tribulations at the same time as the trolls, giving the impression of another story happening just beyond the Pesterchum screen.
  • Improbable Weapon User: Agatha fights with syringes. Juniprei's weapon is a yo-yo.
  • Jet Pack: The preferred method of travel.
  • Moe Couplet: Sototh and Aragua. Cuddly little Aragua is exponentially cuter when she has someone to cuddle with.
  • Palmtree Panic: Sototh's world, the Land of Shores and Spires. It isn't as nice as it seems, though — like most things surrounding Sototh, his world is a shoutout to Lovecraft, with all that entails.
  • Race Against the Clock: Time limits are a constant theme throughout the whole story, as is characteristic of Homestuck fanfiction.
  • Secret Relationship: Malhaut and Gallia, although it's not bound to stay that way for too long.
  • Super Window Jump: Signa. All the time.

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