Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted, the wish will be made whenever I feel like. Which probably won't be for quite awhile. And you can't be brought back to your normal world until I make it. So basically you are trapped until I get bored and decide to release you, which probably won't be before you starve.

Granted, while the team is escaping the Star Destroyer midway through the film, a random extra stormtrooper gets shot by Poe in a hallway in a well-choreographed manner that slightly improved the flow of that particular scene, making the movie slightly better. Except, turns out, underneath that stormtrooper's armor...was you. And, no, you aren't an extra actor, you were actually briefly there on that Star Destroyer a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, and got shot and killed by Poe. The genie kicks you into the time vortex to seal the deal.

I wish for customer support.

Edited by DeepFiemott on Feb 13th 2021 at 2:36:28 AM

Granted. Now you're the customer's literal backbone.

I wish i can have some juicy cow marrow.

Granted. The entire room is flooded with marrow and you die of suffocation.

I wish for a four-leaf clover.

I didn’t actually want good luck, I just thought a four-leaf clover would be cool. Also, isn’t this person kind of a Flat-Earth Atheist since they’re asking a GENIE to stop people from wasting wishes on things they don’t have evidence of? Why did they even believe me?

Oh, nvm. It's difficult to tell without Humor Mode.

Edited by Arcane101 on Feb 15th 2021 at 6:41:47 AM

Their Arbitrary Skepticism with the genie was an intentional joke.

Granted, you now have a four leaf clover, which is kinda cool for party trivia ("Hey, you know I got a four leaf clover from a genie once!") but doesn't, you know, actually improve your luck or anything like that. You tell the story to someone who turns out to be an absurdly militant skeptic who is so angry that you wasted your wish on a pathetic superstition that he hunts down the genie and wishes that people never believe in anything they don't have direct empirical evidence for. This is corrupted in a way that makes people not believe in the existence of countries they haven't been to and the like, and things generally don't end up well.

I wish I was an elite secret agent.

Edited by DeepFiemott on Feb 15th 2021 at 8:05:51 AM

Granted. You're so good that even you don't know what mission you're on until you've actually completed it. (Like Final Fantasy XIII, except it makes sense.)

I wish edible coins counted as real currency, and were accepted in every country.

Granted they’re worth 1 cent

I wish that I could convince Spongebob and friends along with the Teen Titans to go to their respective networks offices and start a protest to get them to stop screwing over other shows in favor of reruns of their shows.

Granted; the other shows become cancelled and the networks all become all-Spongebob and all-Teen Titans network channels.

I wish I didn't have Asperger's.

Granted, every couple hours, a spontaneous quantum field fluctuation occurs near you that causes a hologram of Paul Dirac to show up and stare at you in a disappointed manner. The Foundation gets word about this anomaly surrounding you and you wind up in a containment cell.

I wish for x peace, where x is the maximum level of reality and unreality and existence and nonexistence and of any other thing or not I've considered or not considered and all or none and blah blah blah. Just make sure there's no way we suddenly get invaded from something outside of x because I didn't specify peace in that context (e.g. like how world peace gets you invaded by aliens or universal peace gets you invaded by a parallel universe.)

Edited by DeepFiemott on Feb 14th 2021 at 4:48:10 AM

Granted. The world is completely peaceful, free of conflict - and the desire to improve the world, or seek out a better life. Congrats, you have a World of Silence.

I wish there was no more physical disease, sickness, injury or disability.

I never said it was limited to our species...

Edited by Arcane101 on Feb 15th 2021 at 5:39:03 AM

I have two ideas

Granted, but we end up getting pestered by various aliens about our resistance to viruses at best and outright taken and dissected at worst.

Granted, but as a result we have no immune system making us vulnerable to any virus from space

I wish to watch Terrance and Philip: Asses of Fire with the main cast of Digimon Tamers along with their partners and Calumon

Edited by MisterZygarde64 on Feb 14th 2021 at 4:00:39 AM

Granted, it is awful.

I wish for love.

Granted. You score no points in your next tennis match.

I wish for infinite genies to grant me wishes.

Granted, by ancient genie law you are taken from reality to the genies lamps for eternity. You can only state wishes that cause benefit to others, You cannot use wishes to stop predestined disasters, And finally no one will know what you have done nor will you ever be seen again.

I wish to be sent to a superhero world and gain Power Parasite abilities.

Granted. You succ[sic] all of the civilians superpowers instead, gaining nothing.

I wish for dust-flavoured cheese.

Granted. There's anthrax dust mixed in with it, so you end up being poisoned.

I wish for Zombie Apocalypse.

Granted. You're the first zombie, so you never know anything happened until your brain turns to mush.

I wish that the person who corrupts my wish gets a million bucks.

Granted; I am a million dollars richer and you owe me million dollars in debt.

I wish the groundhog never saw its shadow.

Granted. The Earth's season cycle is now catastrophically fucked up, and humanity is as well.

I wish I don't have to spend any money on buying a Nintendo Switch.

Granted. You are arrested for shoplifting.

I wish the person to corrupt this wish died instantly.

Granted, but Death Is Cheap for genies, but still appears from the outside to be a complete kill, so I just quietly respawn while you are convicted for murder.

I wish the subtle easter egg of the mouse coming out of the hole in the scene at 1:33 was more well known.

Granted. Now everybody knows, but nobody cares.

I wish that every wish ever expressed is corrupted, except this one.

Granted. They're "corrupted" in the sense that the genies have been taking bribes. You, having no bribe for the genie, are promptly given some cement shoes.

I wish the online Pathfinder SRD weren't such a bloated mess.

Granted. It has been scrubbed of all its content.

I wish the genie enforcing these wishes was a Benevolent Genie.

Granted. He's deaf and blind.

I wish I had the power to create any type of food in the world just by thinking about it.

Granted, it's cool at first, but you have a worry that you might think of a kind of food that destroys all of reality somehow. Except, even that worry counts as thinking of it, so, bye bye reality.

I wish the genie was himself a wish.