Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted! And humans are also now obligate carnivores like cats, and starve because the planet can't sustain that many humans without using crops.

I wish that food from any restaurant you like, even one geographically many away, was able to magically be (safely, without any teleportation mishaps) delivered to one's house warm within minutes.

Granted, it costs 1,000,000,000,000$ per order.

I wish I had some Sushi.

Granted. It went bad three days ago

I wish I had the skills to survive a zombie apocalypse

Granted, you survive the zombie apocalypse by becoming a zombie.

I wish people didn't keep messing up in the 12 song album thread.

Granted, they derail the other threads instead.

Genie, I wish for you to be free.

Yay, now I can roam anywhere in the universe and do anything, and now, imma break into yo house and rob all yo stuff and then rob yo house and make it the first house of mah infinitely growing house collection/personal dimension.

I wish I was Irish Applejack

Granted. You are a box of Apple Jacks in a grocery store somewhere in Ireland. Have fun getting eaten!

I wish for the biggest spoon in the world.

Granted, it's used to crush you.

I wish for some more beer.

Granted! Your house is now a tavern. And everyone's murdering each other for a taste of the BEST BEER IN THE UNIVERSE. And then the Earth became a tavern for aliens.

I wish for a box of cookies, and for Cookie Monster not to pop out of nowhere and eat all the cookies.

Granted. The cookies aren't fully cooked, and the dough tastes nasty.

I wish my mom was an uber-badass and could wreck enemies just by looking at them.

Granted. Your mom's so stupid she wrecked you.

I wish I turned 21 sooner just to have some bourbon.

Granted. Now you're aging/dying faster and the bourbon's expired and taste like shet.

I wish the island of Madagascar and the Philippine archipelago swapped locations on Earth.

Granted, both Madagascar and the Phillipine archipelago are in Arabia.

I wish to be in a musical.

Edited by AutisticAlivia on Jul 2nd 2019 at 4:55:53 AM

Granted, you are in The Room:The Musical. You play the football.

I wish that last app I downloaded hadn't crashed my computer.

Granted, it made your computer explode.

I wish for some Switch games.

Granted. The cartridges are all broken.

I wish Fortnite was dead.

Edited by Routeferret on Jul 2nd 2019 at 8:38:22 PM

Granted. And so is every game that inspired it

I wish to be freaking rich

Granted, you've got more freaks than you can handle.

I wish it wasn't 86% INSIDE MY FRICKING HOUSE.

Granted. You didn't specify 86% of what, so we took 86% of your house. Good luck putting it back together!

I wish Adam would stop ruining everything.

Granted. Now Eve ruins everything.

I wish Queen Latifah was playing Ursula (instead of Melissa Mc Carthy playing her).

Granted. Penn and Teller ruin everything instead.

Granted. She raps all her lines, and causes her to be considered to be the best rapper, which causes Buzzfeed to make a video about The Little Mermaid, expect all the lines are rapped, but Buzzfeed casts black people into the role, which causes accusations that Buzzfeed is racist, which causes Buzzfeed to go out of business, which causes YouTube to crash.

I wish that everybody would stop ruining my sacred things.

Edited by Playing_with_boy on Jul 2nd 2019 at 2:48:04 AM

Granted! Now everybody's ruining your scared things.

I wish I was in Japan and nothing bad would happen to me or everyone near me or the country or it's anime.

Granted. All the manga burns to a fine ash, then is thrown into the Pacific Ocean, then is raised from the ocean, then is crushed by anvils, then is eaten by a Japanese person, then the poop (which has the ashes of all the manga) put into a paper bag, takes a ship to Canada, where it is eaten by grizzly bears. Also, all the buildings into Japan are destroyed by a earthquake.

I wish to go F U L L P O T A T O

Granted. You are "full potato" - at a Five Guys Burger And Fries. You feed a family of six.

I wish I had a silver thunderbird....

Granted, you get Kenicki, and he's painted silver.

I wish the fuse for the living room hadn't just shorted out.