you fall through a flaming hoop, bang your head on an elephant, and fall into a lions den!
I use a polymorph spell to permanently turn myself into a Vampire bat.
![[down]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_down.png "[down]"){kind=icon}
that is . . . actuality kickass.
edited 13th Apr '17 12:32:44 PM by vjoi
Cornelius, but do not waste in useless pity the few moments left in which to escape from the hands of the enemy.
The polymorph spell was given to you by a hack wizard. When you cast it upon yourself, you become a fruit bat instead.
I try to liquefy oxygen.
The Superstar of the Supernatural World! (debatable)
Everything's gonna happy!
Your arrempt to get the temperature low enough fails and the pipes shatter ... right into a tank containing two tons of chlorine tri-fluoride. The resulting fire burns through two feet of concrete and six feet of sand.
I prepare aromatic selenium compounds.
I am a proper young lady who does not bite her father at the dinner table. My relaxing music playlist.
"The Complete Warrior Of Justice
And you end up mixing bleach and ammonia.
I try to Mercy Kill someone.
...
Entombing the pair of you is not the most sure-fire way to do that.
I try to revive myself from the dead.
...
Sadly, you're dead, so you can't bring yourself back from the dead.
I try to play the Russian Overkill mod for Doo M
Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign?
You somehow summon living, breathing, angry Russian Special Purpose Units meant just for you...Good Luck!
I try to win a trial.
*Vague plotting intensifies*
You and everyone you know end up in jail, in North Korea.
I try to create an OC.
My new plan is so secret that even I cannot understand its full scope!
Not Sherlock Holmes
It's the next Sonichu. You are ridiculed for millenniums.
I fall down Mt. Ebbot.
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”
Braids From S286 Not Included
its a legendary mewtwo, you have no pokemon or pokeballs, you are quickly impaled with a giant spoon.
I SHALL BECOME A GOD!
Cornelius, but do not waste in useless pity the few moments left in which to escape from the hands of the enemy.
Not Sherlock Holmes
Except you're a lesser god, and you get picked off by Zeus.
I try to play VR Job Simulator.
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”
You do so well at your job that you become a billionaire ceo of a very successful company only one week after you started working there. On the eight day you finally realize you aren't using an Oculus Rift and due to your embarrassment and nerves end up destroying the entire world's economy.
I try to think of something to post in this thread.
Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign?
Your Head Asplode.
I try to get my drunk companions safely home.
Sadly you are also drunk, and everyone gets arrested for drunk driving.
I try to leave a moderate tip at a restaurant.
Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign?
You leave satisfied. Meanwhile your tip lands the server just below his quota. He's fired by his boss and divorced by his spouse later that day. Then he's sued for his possessions and savings for missing the rent by just the same amount as the tip money you withheld. Last anyone hears, the former server disappears into the streets of Portland.
I try to jump start a car to help a stranded family.
*Vague plotting intensifies*
You drag them off a cliff.
I try to succeed.
My new plan is so secret that even I cannot understand its full scope!
You fail to succeed. Double Failure.
I try to go to LUDICROUS SPEED!
You go so fast that you technically no longer exist.
I try to get Internet famous.
I liked it better when Questionable Casting was called WTH Casting Agency
You become a youtuber but your career quickly ends as someone posts you having a racist rant, everyone hates you now.
I try to fall to the dark side.
Cornelius, but do not waste in useless pity the few moments left in which to escape from the hands of the enemy.
You were too kind hearted to fall to the dark side.
I try to get a benevolent genie to grant my wish.
Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign?
As it turns out, someone put the lamp's batteries in backwards and rubbing that lamp, instead of a genie, summons Nyarlohotep....
I try to ride an angry bull at a rodeo.
Not Sherlock Holmes
Your attempt at failing proceeds to cause temporary world peace, makes Puma a millionaire, and myself a benevolent dictator, while ushering humanity as a whole into a new era of peace and prosperity. Anza discovers a new type of octopus and becomes a world renowned marine biologist, Tropes Forever directs the next muppets movie, Cailleach becomes a world class composer, and every troper gets their wishes granted.
However, you don't take your failure at failing well.
I attempt to drive!
You fail to notice the water you used was yellow before you did anything to it. Before you get sued, you and everyone you served devote alot of prayer time to the porcelain god.
Look with century eyes... With our backs to the arch And the wreck of our kind We will stare straight ahead For the rest of our livesI try to unicycle across a tightrope.