Directed by Thomas Schlamme
Written by Tracey Stern & Aaron Sorkin
In Isaac's office, he's on the phone closing a deal as Dana looks on. He hangs up the phone, and after teasing Dana a little, says they've got Christian Patrick for an interview the following night on the show, and no other network has him. Dana is excited, and says they've got to promote the interview. Isaac thinks she's stating the obvious. She leaves.
In the news room area, Dan is sitting with Elliot, Kim, Chris, Dave and Will, and tells them all he wants to grow a goatee. They all think it's a bad idea. When Dana rushes in, still excited, she also tells Dan it's a bad idea, and tells him about Christian Patrick. Dan gets excited as well, and congratulates Dana, as well as tell her the obvious about promoting the interview. As Dan goes to his office, Dana heads towards the control room and sees Natalie in the hall. She tells Natalie to do a pre-interview at the Meadowlands the next night with Patrick. Natalie is excited about this (although she wonders why Dana doesn't send Jeremy instead, as he's better on the NFL than she is); Dana, in turn, is slightly offended by Natalie making a crack about her sense of humor. She tells Natalie to be tough on the questions, since Patrick is a convicted felon. Natalie rushes off, and Dana continues to act pumped up.
The next day, as Casey and Dan head towards their office, to Casey's annoyance, Dan starts reeling off all the famous people he knows of that have goatees. Dana joins them in their office, and tells them the bad news; during the entire interview (which will last five minutes and 30 seconds), Mary Pat Shelby is completely off limits. Casey tells Dana she was played, since she promoted the interview non-stop only to have this condition slapped on it; Dana admits she got beat, but something was better than nothing. Casey says what they've proved is no one cares about Mary Pat Shelby getting beat up because she doesn't play football.
When Dana leaves, Casey snaps at Dan for not saying anything, pointing out it wasn't too long ago he cared about things like this. Dan informs Casey every so often, he decides not act on his values, because maintaining them takes a lot of work, and he rests up for the next time. Casey responds, "I swear, you could run for Congress and win."
A little later, Natalie comes into the editing room, having just finished her pre-interview with Patrick. Jeremy comes in while she slowly takes off her jacket. She apologizes, saying she didn't know anyone was using it, but he says he's almost done. As Natalie starts to get her notes ready, Jeremy notices she's holding her right wrist, and asks what happened. Natalie says she got it caught in the door of the van. Jeremy remembers how his sister Louise tied him to a tree one time when they were kids, and his wrist looked like Natalie's does. He leaves.
In the conference room, Dana tries to start the rundown meeting with a joke, but Casey says she telegraphs her jokes. Dan continues to name famous people with goatees. Chris and Will point out his goatee would present a lighting problem. Dan can't believe that, to which Casey responds, "Hey, these guys still haven't figured out how to light your nose." Dana tries to get the conversation steered back to the rundown when Isaac storms in with news; there was a witness who saw Christian Patrick expose himself to a young woman while they were alone in the locker room. There's also a report he might have injured her arm.
Casey, Dan, and Isaac head out; as Dana follows them, she tells everyone else to work the phones.
Inside the editing room, Natalie insists she's fine. Dan comes in with an ice pack, and Jeremy tells her to put it on top of the bruise. Isaac comes in and says he's got a car to take her home, so she doesn't feel uncomfortable when Patrick arrives. Natalie points out they've got a show in 38 minutes, and as associate producer, it's her job to help get the show on the air, so she wants to stay. Isaac sighs, then agrees to let her stay. Everyone leaves except Natalie.
In the hallway, Isaac tells his secretary to get the legal department and Luther Sachs on the phone. Kim tells Isaac Patrick is there with his lawyer and his agent; Isaac tells her to put Patrick in the greenroom and put the other two in his office. As Isaac heads to his office, Dana stops to tell Kim to make sure Patrick stays clear of Natalie, and then follows Casey and Dan to their office. She tells them things have changed, and Casey wants to know if it's because they can discuss other acts of violence against women that Patrick committed.
After Dana leaves to go to Isaac's office, Casey reminds Dan he said he was taking a break from moral accountability. Dan admits he threw her one for nothing.
In Isaac's office, Burke (Jon Simmons) and Evans (Ray Wise) tell Isaac they're not going to let Patrick walk into an interrogation, and try to deny what happened. Dana takes over; she tells them she's willing to believe what probably happened didn't happen, and she's also sure she can convince Natalie not to say anything to the press or the league, in exchange for which Casey and Dan get to ask Patrick about Mary Pat Shelby. Evans says they'll talk to Patrick, and Isaac says, "Do it now." The two of them leave. Dana and Isaac try to look at each other, but they can't.
Natalie is working on the Patrick interview when she notices Elliot and Jeremy talking outside. Jeremy comes in and Natalie asks what's going on. Jeremy tries not to answer, but after Natalie tells him she needs to be in the loop, tells her about Dana's deal. Natalie thinks Dana is doing the smart thing. Jeremy asks if that's what Natalie wants (he thinks that's why Dana is doing it), and says if she went to Dana and told her otherwise, it wouldn't be as bad as Natalie would think. Natalie points out it would, as she's already out of the loop, and she can hear the calls everyone is getting even though it's a soundproof room she's in. She also points out she'd end up being a cocktail party joke, and it wouldn't matter how hard she worked to get her job. Jeremy just says, "Yeah", and Natalie tells him to leave so she can work. Before he does, Jeremy asks if there's anything he can do. Natalie looks like she's going to say something, but tells him no instead.
As Jeremy walks backstage, he passes Patrick (Brad William Henke), who's looking for the bathroom. Jeremy tells him where it is, but refuses to shake Patrick's hand. Patrick thinks this is funny, as he could easily kick Jeremy's ass if he wanted to. Jeremy tells Patrick if he touches Natalie again, Jeremy will have him killed. Patrick boasts Natalie seemed impressed with him, and walks off, pausing to sign an autograph. Jeremy storms off.
Dana's sitting in Isaac's office, in the dark, when Casey comes in. Casey tells her it looks like they're going to get the ratings Dana wanted. Dana admits she sent Natalie to the Meadowlands on purpose because she knew Patrick didn't like talking to women in the locker room, and that would provoke a reaction. Dana wonders if Natalie knew that, and also if she knows about the deal Dana made; Casey points out Natalie knows, and like Dana, wants what's best for the show. He also points out Dana tends to do the right thing. Dana grabs Casey's hand and holds it for a minute to her forehead. Eventually, she lets go, and Casey leaves.
Dan comes by the editing room and asks Natalie how her wrist is. Natalie, a bit irritated, says it's fine, and asks people to stop asking her that. Dan starts to leave when Natalie, letting her guard down a bit, asks what Dan really wanted to know. Natalie doesn't believe Dan just wanted to know about her wrist, and asks if he came by to tell her to be strong. Dan responds, "Hasn't been my experience that you need to be told that." She brings up another reporter who went through what she did, and had to move far away because of the death threats she received.
Dan: The only reason I came in here, was to tell you this: no matter what you decide? You've got friends.]] (he starts to walk out of the editing room, but pauses after he opens the door) And this is what friends gear up for. (he walks out)
Dana starts to run out into the hallway, pausing to apologize to a staffer whom she ran into. She finds Kim and tells her to cut a new intro and give it to her in two minutes, then she tells Elliot she needs graphics in the control room, and finally, she tells Jeremy to create five minutes. Jeremy figures out what she means, immediately consents, and rushes off. Dana continues to rush until she gets into the studio, where Casey and Dan are sitting in chairs where the cameras are, Patrick, Burke and Evans are chatting with other staffers, and Isaac is standing in front of the control room. Dana goes up to Isaac, out of breath.
Dana loudly yells for everyone's attention, and tells all those assembled the interview's off. As Burke and Evans start to protest, the crew starts to applaud, and Casey and Dan get up, looking pleased. Dana asks Burke and Evans to leave the studio so they can do the show. Burke points out they'll be the laughingstock of television, and that it's a third place show on a fourth place network. Dan points out that'll change when he grows a goatee. Burke, Evans and Patrick walk off, with Dan giving Patrick a long, appraising look.
Backstage, Patrick is walking down the stairs with his bag when Natalie tosses him a football and greets him. Patrick says everyone's making a fuss over nothing. Natalie seems to agree, but points out again she'd wanted to be a sports reporter as much as he wanted to play football, and further tells him when the show ends, she's going to swear out a warrant for his arrest. Patrick storms off.
Dana is watching the show on a monitor from the camera area when Natalie joins her. Dana hugs her and apologizes, and asks if there's anything she can do for Natalie. Natalie responds, "Tell me a joke."
This episode contains examples of:
- Comically Small Bribe: A rare serious example; Jeremy tells Patrick he's going to pay someone $50 to have him killed.
- Foreshadowing: The fallout from what Patrick does plays out over the next couple of episodes.
- Ironic Echo: In addition to "did a big thing badly" there's also "Right now, this second, how much do you love me?" and "It's a whole new ballgame".
- Laugh Track: Averted here; the first time all season.
- Running Gag: Dan wanting the goatee.
- Shout-Out: Dana says Dan would look like Colonel Sanders with a goatee.
- Smug Snake: Christian Patrick.
- Yiddish as a Second Language: Spoofed:Dana: This is a coup, Isaac. It's gotta be promoted.Isaac: What, do I look like I just sailed in from Minskapinsk?Dana: No, you don't. But you've got to stop using Yiddish expressions.Isaac: They work for me!Dana: (chuckling) Not as much as you think.
- Hypocritical Humor: When Dana tells Dan about the interview, and he says they have to promote it, she uses the "Minskapinsk" line on him.
