Recap / Parks and Recreation - S03 E06

Ron: Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I'm worried what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of bacon and eggs." What I said was, "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have". Do you understand?

Leslie and Ron are headed to Indianapolis to receive a commendation for their work on the Harvest Festival. Leslie is excited about visiting the capital while Ron is most looking forward to eating at his favorite restaurant, Mulligan's Steakhouse.

Tom invites everyone to the Snakehole Lounge, where local cologne mogul Dennis Feinstein will be introducing a new cologne. Ben, when invited, thanks them but says he won't be going. Since his job makes him move from town to town, he never really gets to know anyone and thus doesn't see the point in getting too attached. Leslie urges Tom to bring Ben to the event, and Ben accepts the invite after Tom convinces him to come.

April and Andy are dating and are happy together. They discuss what to do tonight. April suggests they go to Tom's party but Andy is reluctant to go because he has no money to treat April to nice things.

While Ann helps Leslie choose an outfit for the ceremony, she tells Leslie that she thinks Chris is cheating on her. She has no proof, but she says they had a good conversation before he left but he's been acting distant since he's returned to Indianapolis. Leslie promises to investigate for Ann by planning to invite Chris to dinner with her and Ron.

Leslie and Ron go to Chris' apartment so they can bring him to the steakhouse. Leslie snoops around a bit and asks some questions to figure out if Chris is cheating on Ann. She finds a pink shower cap and a woman's razor. She calls Ann to tell her what she found and Ann decides to drive up to town to confront Chris.

At the Snakehole Lounge, Andy has no money for drinks. April manages to get them a couple of drinks from men at the bar, and they make a contest of how much free stuff each of them can get, posing as employees of the club and getting tips. Tom and Ben discuss Dennis Feinstein and his colognes, where Ben notes that "Dennis Feinstein" is an oddly ordinary name for a cologne designer, but Tom explains that Dennis' real name, "Dante Fiero", is considered less exotic in Pawnee. Tom has a cologne he invented called "Tommy Fresh" that he wants Feinstein to invest in.

When they arrive at Mulligan's, Ron is distraught to learn that it's been closed down for a health code violation. Chris offers to cook dinner for them at his place. Ron freaks out when he sees that the "steaks" Chris is cooking are actually mushrooms and he nearly passes out as he had been fasting all day with the expectation of eating at Mulligan's.

Tom approaches Feinstein to demonstrate his cologne. When Tom sprays his cologne, Feinstein thinks it's a gag scent because it smells horrible. Ben tries to cheer up a dejected Tom and says Feinstein is a jerk, but Tom is tired of coming up short. Even though Ben thinks Tom's cologne is terrible, he wants to help him.

Ann arrives at Chris' apartment and asks him about the razor and shower cap. Chris explains he shaves his legs with the razor for swimming, and the pink shower cap was a prize he won for swimming in a breast cancer awareness triathlon. Ann apologizes for suspecting him of cheating on her. Chris is confused because he says he broke up with Ann during their talk. However, he was so nice about it and worded it so positively that she didn't even realize he was actually ending their relationship. Ann is humiliated and leaves. Leslie decides not to attend the commendation ceremony and goes back to Pawnee with Ann, cheering her up during the trip back home by telling her about all the numerous embarrassing ways she had been dumped over the years. They go to the Snakehole Lounge and meet up with Ben, who's having a good time. Ann is embarrassed that Ben already knew that Chris had broken up with her. April and Andy meet up to compare how much free stuff each one got. They both then realize they should give it back. They put the money into the bartenders' tip jars.

As they all leave the party, Ben helps Tom get revenge on Feinstein by pouring the whole "Tommy Fresh" bottle all over the inside of Feinstein's parked SUV. Meanwhile, a starving Ron goes to a diner and orders all of the eggs and bacon they have.

Tropes

• Atrocious Alias: Ben finds Dennis Feinstein's (real name: Dante Fiero) alias rather bland, but apparently, being Jewish sounds more exotic in Pawnee.
• Big Eater: Ron, as made evident by the page quote.
• Food Porn: Ron has a photo album of every steak he's ever eaten at his favorite steakhouse.
• Go-to Alias: This is the first appearance of April's alias, Janet Snakehole.
• Heroic Blue Screen of Death: When Ron and Leslie go to Indianapolis to receive an award, Ron only cares about visiting his favorite steakhouse. When he discovers the steakhouse has been shut down for health code violations, he does not take it well.
  Ron: They just boarded her up like she was some common warehouse... (on the verge of tears) I should have been here...
• Jerkass: Dennis Feinstein.
  • Jerkass Has a Point: While Dennis may have been an ass about it, Ben also agrees with him that Tom's cologne smells disgusting.
• Long List:
  • The things Andy wants to buy for April now that they're dating:
    Andy: I want to treat April like a queen. And queens deserve flowers and massages, chocolate, booze, diamonds, rubies, emeralds, them treasure chests full of scarves, different kinds of lubes that warm up when you rub them on stuff. I'm gonna give her all that stuff and more!
  • Leslie rattles off one of all the numerous embarrassing ways she got dumped and rejected over the years to cheer up Ann over her being dumped by Chris.
• Mistaken for Cheating: Subverted - Chris wasn't cheating on Ann because he had already broken up with her before going back to Indianapolis and she hadn't even realized it.
• Must State If You're a Cop: Variation - Dennis Feinstein is more paranoid about the FDA.
• Not Hyperbole: When Ron Swanson asks for "all the bacon and eggs you have", he means all the bacon and eggs you have.
• Overly Narrow Superlative: Leslie suggests that she and Ron see Indiana's second-largest rocking chair on the way to Indianapolis.
• Perfumigation: Both Dennis Feinstein and Ben find Tom's cologne repulsive. Ben helps Tom get back at Feinstein for rejecting him by dumping all of Tom's cologne into Feinstein's car.
  Ben: He'll be smelling your dreams now. (He then moves farther away to get away from the smell, coughing and gagging for fresh air.)
• Real Men Eat Meat: Ron won't eat the salads and vegetarian options Chris cooks up.
• Real Men Wear Pink: Chris likes to shave with women's razors and he owns a pink swimming cap (which he won at a breast cancer charity athletic event). Meanwhile, Dennis Feinstein tells Tom that perfume-making is a job for "real men".
• So Beautiful, It's a Curse: Turns out that because Ann is so attractive, she never had a guy dump her before Chris did. Thus, she had no idea that's what happened (though his positive attitude during the conversation certainly didn't help matters).
• Unnecessary Combat Roll: Andy pulls one over a small table when he and April decide to return all the tip money they hustled from the bar.