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Recap / Homestar Runner Cool Things

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Airdate: Monday, August 15, 2005

Homestar and Marzipan are hanging out in Marzi's living room, but Homestar is growing bored.

Homestar: (sighs) Sitting on the couch is zero amount of fun when there's not a TV or hang glider in front of it.

Marzipan suggests Homestar do something constructive, like read a book or write a novella. It turns out Homestar has done some writing earlier... as in, written the words "COOL TAPES" on the wall of Marzipan's living room.


Marzipan: Why did you write "Cool tapes" on my wall?!
Homestar: Um, hello? Maybe because I like cool tapes.
Marzipan: Well, I hope you like cool painting, because this has got to go!
Homestar: (imitating a trombone) Mwah-bwah-bwahhh...

Homestar heads to Bubs' Concession Stand to pick up three cans of yellow paint (and a pair of cool shades). Unfortunately, Bubs is closed ("Cutbacks, layoffs, downsizing, you know the drill..."), even though he and the cans of paint Homestar needs are standing right there. Fortunately, while Bubs can't sell Homestar anything, Homestar manages to convince Bubs to steal the paint for him ("I never pass up an opportunity to stick it to the man!"), and Bubs even throws in the cool shades, which are stashed in "can number two".

On his way back to Marizpan's, Homestar dons his new shades... which are covered with paint to the point that he completely fails to recognize Strong Sad.


Homestar: Oh, hello, Dripping Yellow Madness!
Strong Sad: What? I'm Strong Sad. Dripping Yellow Madness moved away after the fifth grade.
Homestar: Look, I'd love to stay and argue that you are in fact Dripping Yellow Madness, but this paint and I have a date with a wall.
Strong Sad: I wish I had a date with a wall.

Homestar decides to give Strong Sad an opportunity and hands him the yellow paint, but then Homestar's drippy shades cause him to blunder into Strong Bad's "Death Hole"... a small pit in the middle of the Field that doesn't even reach up to Homestar's waist.

Homestar: Aaaaaaaaaaah! I'm at the bottom of a giant piiiiit...
Strong Sad: Homestar, take off those stupid cool shades.
Homestar: Yeah, I should probably return these things.

Back at Bubs' (which is open again, and "UNDER OLD MANAGEMENT"), Homestar tries to return the not-so-cool shades, but runs into a bit of trouble when he doesn't have a receipt.


Homestar: The sales representative I dealt with gave them to me... free of charge. I believe... his name was Stan.
Bubs: Stan?! I fired that guy after the fifth grade!

Homestar is forced to trade his shades for "an item of lesser or much lesser value", but he seems satisfied with a sandwich bag with four grapes in it.

Later that afternoon, back at Marzipan's, Homestar is baffled to find Marzipan with her guitar Carol, Strong Bad with an electric bass, and The Cheat with a drum set.

Homestar: What in Pete Sampras is going on here?!
Marzipan: Well... you took too long, so Strong Mad, and The Cheat and I formed a band called Cool Tapes. (smiles sheepishly)
Homestar: Oh, really?! What kind of... music do you play?

Marzipan and the rest of "Cool Tapes" proceed to bust out a catchy little folk-rock jam for Homestar.

Marizpan: (singing) Cool tapes are cool, 'cause they're where it is at,
Cool tapes are cool, and we like it like that!
Cool tapes! Cool tapes!
We like to get it down with the cool, cool tapes,
We like to get down with...
um... (music stops) uh...
Homestar: A bag of four grapes?
Marzipan: (music starts again) A bag of four graaapes!


  • Ask a Stupid Question...:
    Marzipan: Why did you write "Cool tapes" on my wall?!
    Homestar: Uh, hello? Maybe it's because I like cool tapes?
  • Behind the Black: Marzipan doesn't notice the words "Cool Tapes" written on her living room wall until Homestar points them out to her (and the audience).
  • Bottomless Pit: Parodied with Strong Bad's "Death Hole", which is actually about half as deep as Homestar is tall.
  • Cool Shades: Homestar orders a pair of shades along with the yellow paint. They're not as cool as they could be, since they're covered in paint so that he can't see anything while wearing them.
  • Continuity Nod: In an Easter egg, Strong Bad is apparently watching a sequel to the movie about a killer truck the Cheat was watching in the SBEmail "privileges"
  • Don't Be Ridiculous: When Homestar misidentifies Strong Sad as "Dripping Yellow Madness", the latter protests "Dripping Yellow Madness moved away after the fifth grade."
  • A Good Name for a Rock Band: Marzipan is inspired to form a band with Strong Mad and the Cheat called "Cool Tapes", named after the words that Homestar wrote on her wall, when Homestar took too long to get the paint needed to get rid of it.
  • Literal-Minded: Strong Sad, oddly enough. When Homestar announces he and the yellow paint have a date with a wall, Strong Sad replies "I wish I had a date with a wall."
  • The Man Is Sticking It to the Man: Bubs steals Homestar merchandise from his own dang store, apparently because he would "never pass up a chance to stick it to the man!"
  • Running Gag: References to people who left "after the fifth grade".
  • Saying Sound Effects Out Loud: Homestar makes a Losing Horns sound after Marzipan orders him to clean up the words "Cool Tapes" he painted on the wall.
  • Strange Minds Think Alike: Judging by Strong Sad and Strong Bad's reactions, there really is a person named 'Dripping Yellow Madness'.
  • Unusual Euphemism: When Homestar gets back to Marzipan's and finds Marzipan has started a band, he shouts "What in Pete Sampras is going on?"

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