I would kind of describe my penis like a Volvo automobile. Solid, sturdy, dependable, but not going to turn any heads.
—Lars Erickssong, Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga
Cindy Campbell: Greg, you're not the only one who got one.
Greg Phillippe: What do you mean, Bobby's got a baby-dick too?
Greg Phillippe: What do you mean, Bobby's got a baby-dick too?
Trojan Li'ls: Because yours still does what the big ones do.
—Elliot Pants, Saturday Night Live sketch "What's Wrong With This Picture?"
Rod Lane: I had a hard-on this morning when I woke up, Tina... Had your name written all over it.
Tina Gray: There's four letters in my name, Rod. How can there be enough room on your joint for four letters?
Tina Gray: There's four letters in my name, Rod. How can there be enough room on your joint for four letters?
"As far as I can see, you are as poorly equipped to carry out your civic duties as your domestic ones."
— Augusta Prodworthy, Carry On Girls
Noah: Ha, ha! Cody’s got a tiny sausage!
Cody: Well at least my team has a sausage!
Cody: Well at least my team has a sausage!
— Total Drama World Tour, “Slap, Slap Revolution”
Screenwriter Guy: [...]And Fred is an ignorant rich guy with a tiny wiener.
Producer Guy: With a tiny wiener?
Screenwriter Guy: Yeah, his wiener is tiny, which is something we're gonna keep mentioning, 'cause that's one of the recurring jokes.
Producer Guy: What's the joke?
Screenwriter Guy: His wiener is small.
Producer Guy: That's- is that a joke, or is that just saying something?
Screenwriter Guy: Yeah that counts!
Producer Guy: Oh it does, okay!
Producer Guy: With a tiny wiener?
Screenwriter Guy: Yeah, his wiener is tiny, which is something we're gonna keep mentioning, 'cause that's one of the recurring jokes.
Producer Guy: What's the joke?
Screenwriter Guy: His wiener is small.
Producer Guy: That's- is that a joke, or is that just saying something?
Screenwriter Guy: Yeah that counts!
Producer Guy: Oh it does, okay!
Arthur: I borrowed them off of the Inspector. It might have escaped your notice that he 'appens to be rather bigger than me.
Olive: Everyone's bigger than you.
Simon: I have to lie to women to get laid, and I don't score much. I have a little dick, it's pathetic!
Amy Wong: (looking at Fry, a former Human Popsicle, naked) "Psst, look what life was like before genetic engineering!"
Turanga Leela: "Those poor 20th century women."
— Futurama
"Penis size: *(blows raspberry)*!"
— Lois Griffin, Family Guy
Chris: (crossing his arms) You can never make me resign. I have power beyond your wildest dreams. I have millions of fans, along with luxuries you'll never know. I have a frickin' Jacuzzi that massages your dick with bubbles! And you can't do anything to take that away from me.
Trent: Oh, we'll see about that. Sounds like quite the Jacuzzi.
Noah: (smirking) There's just a little problem, Trent. For the function to work, you need to be longer than a millimeter.
Trent: Oh, we'll see about that. Sounds like quite the Jacuzzi.
Noah: (smirking) There's just a little problem, Trent. For the function to work, you need to be longer than a millimeter.
