"The first thing we noticed when the Hummer arrived is that it filled the driveway. The second thing we noticed is that it fills the lane of the highway, too. The Hummer is 6 feet wide and 6 feet tall."
— Chicago Tribune auto writer Jim Mateba, describing
Dennis Rodman's Hummer
Dennis Rodman's Hummer"The 4x4 was never intended as a status symbol, but later incarnations of my design seem to be intended for that purpose. I find the people who use it as such deeply unattractive. Sadly, the 4x4 has become an alternative to a Mercedes or BMW for the pompous, self-important driver. To use the 4x4 for the school run, or even in cities or towns at all, is completely stupid."
— Charles Spencer "Spen" King, chief engineer of the Range Rover SUV
Brian: Look at all these Hummers. What kinda jerk would drive one of those?
(Cutaway Gag)
Hummer Driver: Dude, this car kicks ass! And I can watch Madagascar while I'm driving!
Alex: What kind of music do you like, Gloria?
Gloria: Hippo hop! Whoo-oo, yeah baby!
Hummer Driver: Ha ha ha ha ha! Dude, those animals are so fucking funny they make me wanna merge without looking!! (merges in front of a car, which flies into a truck and explodes) YEAH! RUMSFELD!
(Cutaway Gag)
Hummer Driver: Dude, this car kicks ass! And I can watch Madagascar while I'm driving!
Alex: What kind of music do you like, Gloria?
Gloria: Hippo hop! Whoo-oo, yeah baby!
Hummer Driver: Ha ha ha ha ha! Dude, those animals are so fucking funny they make me wanna merge without looking!! (merges in front of a car, which flies into a truck and explodes) YEAH! RUMSFELD!
"The Bison used to be the pick-up truck of choice for farmers and construction workers until Bravado realized they could double the price and market it to emasculated urban types desperate to feel like men again."
—Description of the Bravado Bison on southernsanandreassuperautos.com, Grand Theft Auto V
on southernsanandreassuperautos.com, Grand Theft Auto V"More old-school ridiculousness that shouldn't have made it into the modern era: How about the passenger-side grab handle? This grab handle was placed here so when you were in your military G-Wagen back in the 70's, driving through the jungle trying to kill the enemy, your passenger had something to grab onto as you drive over tree branches and stumps. Now, 40 years later, this grab handle is still on here, even though this is now a V12-powered luxury SUV that costs $230,000 and rides on 21-inch wheels through Beverly Hills. Noting this irony, Mercedes decided to add a little carbon fiber strip to it.
Next up, I want to talk fuel economy. Owing to this car's massive engine and its boxy design with no regard to aerodynamics since it's from a different era, this car gets abysmal fuel economy. The EPA rates it 11 miles-per-gallon city, and 13 miles-per-gallon highway, making it the single least efficient car on sale today. [...] Now I know the kind of people who buy this car can afford to buy fuel forever and they don't care about the gas mileage, but 11/13? Getting 10 miles-per-gallon as you drive around? I realise you can afford it and you don't really care, but at some point don't you just realise you're a complete f-"
Olivia: Wow! I can't believe this heavy boat can float through the air. I have to work pretty hard to float just a little bit. And this thing is HUGE! It's very you, Bowser.
Bowser: Bwahaha! I'm glad you like it. They say it's the most powerful and least efficient vehicle ever produced.
Would the owner of a Land Rover please realize you live in a city, have no need for an off-road vehicle, and everyone hates you.
— Nish Kumar, "Unlikely things to hear over a tannoy", Mock the Week
RJ: That is an S.U.V. Humans ride in then because they are slowly losing their ability to walk.
Penny: Jeepers, its so big!
Lou: How many humans fit in there?
RJ: Usually, one.
Penny: Jeepers, its so big!
Lou: How many humans fit in there?
RJ: Usually, one.
Can you name the truck with four wheel drive
Smells like a steak and seats thirty five?
Canyonero! Canyonero!
Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down
It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown
Canyonero! Canyonero!
Voice Over: The federal highway commission has ruled the canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving.
—Cayonero theme song (original version), The Simpsons
12 yards long, 2 lanes wide
65 tons of American pride!
Canyonero! Canyonero!
Top of the line in utility sports
Canyonero! Canyonero!
She blinds everybody with her super high beams
She's a squirrel-squashin', deer smackin' drivin' machine
Canyonero! Canyonero!
Canyonero! Whoa
Canyonero! Whoooooaaaa!
—Cayonero theme song ("Telling it like it is" version), The Simpsons
