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Quotes / Dual Wielding

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"Guy sounds like a machine! Two lightsabers at the same time!? Good thing he's on our team, huh?"
— Emperor Palpatine talking to Darth Vader about Starkiller in a Robot Chicken sketch promoting Star Wars The Force Unleashed 2.

Ranger: Behold! For as a ranger, I possess the rare and enviable Dual-Wield! (pulls out a second bow) Have you a sense of the sudden and violent brevity of your future?
Sarda: That's... This is what you're going with? Dual-wield.
Ranger: Moreover! As a ranger/ranger, I can dual-wield my dual-wield! (pulls out two more bows)
Sarda: What.
Ranger: Behold! The mythical art of quad-wielding and its dodecarrow storm!
Sarda: How are you holding those?
Ranger: It's not easy. Really hurts the neck.

Lord Lefford: I saw that great hairy one today, the one who insisted that he must have two battle-axes, the heavy black steel ones with twin crescent blades.
Tyrion: Shagga likes to kill with either hand.
Lord Lefford: He still had that wood-axe of his strapped to his back.
Tyrion: Shagga is of the opinion that three axes are even better than two.

"Drizzt's most endearing characteristic is that he ponces around using two scimitars — and is still alive. (...) Historically, the various tradeoffs among Damage, Defense, Agility, Cost and Convenience have been resolved in favor of using one weapon at a time."

"If I were to pick up this cowering-plate, I would have to put down my second sword," a Scotsman thinks. "And surely that is madness."
— The Team Fortress 2 blog, on a Scotsman's thoughts on shields.

"Oh come on, is that even legal?"
Sam Flynn (upon seeing Rinzler spitting his disc into two), TRON: Legacy

John Egbert, Homestuck

Future Ash: We're both good guys here!
Past Ash: Good, bad... I'm the guy with both chainsaws!
Army of Darkness: Ashes 2 Ashes

Black Polnareff: And soon, you'll fall deeper into despair... Because I'm gonna add serious insult to injury!
(Silver Chariot unsheathes the Anubis sword, and he duel-wields the rapier and the Anubis sword.)
Black Polnareff: Silver Chariot plus Anubis plus Polnareff, the master of the sword! Three together produce the wisdom of me...?
(Jotaro is lying on the ground.)
Jotaro: You gotta be kidding!
Black Polnareff: That "you gotta be kidding" will become "I'm screwed!"
(Silver Chariot attacks Jotaro with both swords.)

Two swords came out. One was covered with orange-red flame, the other shone with pale moonlight. They rose, dispelling the gloom that had fallen upon the balcony, then sliced down in unison. The Regent caught one with each hand, and the fire and light were snuffed. "Fire dies and light fades." His hands twisted and the flaming sword was wrenched from Asuka's hands, falling at Cassilda's amber-frozen feet. The moon sword simply snapped in his hands, then crumbled away to dust.

"Freshmen intersquad scrimmages usually offer all the excitement of a man fixing plumbing. But that winter Connie [Hawkins] made them the most popular show in Iowa City. Ten thousand people were often in the arena when the freshman came out to warm up, almost two hours before the varsity game. Hawk gave them an eyeful. Before the scrimmages, he and Andy Hankins, a freshman guard, put on exhibitions of fancy dribbling and passing. When the team took layups, Hawk would palm two basketballs and dunk them simultaneously. Visiting coaches cringed at the thought of facing Hawkins for the next three years."
Foul! The Connie Hawkins Story by David Wolf

Reaching a hand out into nothingness, Asuka grabbed onto something with each hand and began to pull out. Twin ragged streaks appeared in the sky, blood raining from holes in reality as Unit 02 extracted its new weapons. In the right hand it held a titanic bronze battle axe dripping with blood on its adamantine blade, while in the left it bore a long, snaking whip covered in barbs.

"Sword and sword! You can never have enough swords."
Max, Zen Pinball table, Epic Quest

"Keep in mind, these are dual swords. Two halves of a single weapon. Don't think of them as separate, 'cause they're not. They're just two different parts of the same whole."
Zuko, Avatar: The Last Airbender, "Zuko Alone"

Old man: Give him a left! A left!
Old woman: It's not a fistfight...
Old man: He's got a left sword, don't he?
Avatar: The Last Airbender, "Zuko Alone"

With SMG's combined, I am well-endowed!
My guns are appropos;
One left, one right, firing at your head
Your quest for all the Power Weapons soon will leave you dead
For crying out loud, you have an SMG
In Free-For-All or in a Brawl, they just might save your life
My SMG's, Halo 2 Filk Song

"I can't abide this creature named Boc! He is one of the few that actually uses two lightsabers in battle."
Qu Rahn on Boc Aseca, Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II


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