Funny / X-Men Origins: Wolverine

• Wade Wilson.
  • "Okay. People are dead."
  • "You whip out of a couple of swords at your ex-girlfriend's wedding and they will never, ever forget it."
  • "Granted it's probably not as intimidating as having a gun or bone claws or the fingernails of a bag lady."
  • "Thank you, sir. You look really nice today. It's the green. It brings out the seriousness in your eyes."
  • "Great! Stuck in an elevator with five guys on a high-protein diet; dreams really do come true."
• Remy's sudden re-appearance at the end, and Wolverine's annoyed reaction.
  Remy: You miss me?
  Logan: Oh, Jesus...
• Remy's introduction itself is very him. Wolverine marches up the table looking for him.
  Remy: Do I owe you money?
  Logan: No.
  Remy: [grins] Then Remy LeBeau I am.
• The Brick Joke with Duke's tattoo of his previous girlfriend.
• This little exchange:
  Logan: C'mon, bub, for old times' sake!
  Dukes: ...Did you just call me... BLOB?!
  Logan: [genuinely confused] No, but...
  Dukes: ARRRRGGGHHHH!! [charge at Logan and bump him out of the ring]
  • And later:
    Wraith: I told you not to insult his weight! Why'd you have to call him "Blob"?
    Logan: I don't call him "Blob". I said "bub"!
  • Wraith's bright idea to endear Logan to Dukes again? An impromptu boxing match.
    Wraith: I'm trying to help you out here, Logan. Dukes don't like you that much and you know it!
    Logan: The feeling's mutual.
    Wraith: Then use those gloves, man. Dance with him a little bit! Let him get his anger out on you, I figure if you do that he'll tell you anything you want to know.
    Logan: (Watching Dukes stretch wearing a shirt at least two sizes too small for him) Oh come on, man, look at him! He's got a big ol' ass coming out the front of his shirt, Jesus. He's gonna have a coronary, for Christ's sake, is there even a stretcher big enough to take this guy out of here?!
    (Wraith rings the bell, causing Logan to turn around and immediately get clocked in the face by Dukes.)
    Wraith: It ain't him I'm worried about getting outta here on a stretcher.
    Logan: You're an asshole.
  • Logan realizes a bit too late that while he may be fighting a massively obese man, said obese man still has Super-Strength. Dukes smacks Logan around the ring for a bit (complete with lovingly rendered Jiggle Physics on his man-boobs and spare tire) before illegally head-butting him... and ringing his own bell on Logan's newly minted Adamantium skull.
• After being put through the adamantium bonding process, Wolverine somehow loses the pair of briefs he was wearing while in the tank, during his escape.
  • He wasn't actually wearing briefs during the bonding process if you watch the scene closely you'll see that the "briefs" were actually some sort of restraint
• While Victor is waiting for Logan to show up after faking Kayla's death, he's carving a smiley-face into the bar counter. Then he hears Logan bellowing his name, and idly asks the bartender if he has insurance.
  Bartender: Insurance? No.
  Victor: Hm. Too bad.
• Victor finds himself tied up next to Logan, the two of them facing a firing squad... and is totally nonchalant about it.
  'Wake me up when it's over.'
• Victor's condescending reaction upon seeing Logan's adamantium coated claws for the first time.
  Logan: *SNIKT*
  Victor: Ooh, shiny.
• Early on in the movie, Stryker tells Wade that he'd be the perfect soldier if he didn't have "that mouth of (his)". After Wade returns as Weapon XI, with his mouth sewn shut, Logan has this to say.
  Logan: Guess Stryker finally figured out how to shut you up, huh?
• Stryker tries to persuade Logan to rejoin the team by pulling the patriotism card:
  Stryker: Your country needs you.
  Logan: I'm Canadian. [drives away]

---