- The results of the magus' pep-talk to Gen in Queen of Attolia are equal parts awesome and hilarious.Gen: You told me I could still do something.
Magus: I meant talk your queen into surrendering, not burn our navy in its own harbor!
Sounis: What was he doing?
- And Sounis' reaction once he realizes that it was the Thief who did it.
Adviser: Well, your majesty, stealing your magus.
- Gen deliberately unnerving the council by playing with a coin and tossing it in the air. Just when the spokesperson seemed like he had enough, Irene kicked Gen with her foot, causing him to jump with outrage. Made awesome when Gen still manages to catch the coin while glaring at her.
- Aulus and Boagus, Eddis' cousins, are sent for to forcibly keep Eugenides in bed long enough to recover from his injury—both of them are very much The Big Guy. When Eugenides gives Costis a Meaningful Look, Costis draws himself up to "defend his king to the death from his huge Eddisian nanny."
- Phresine tells Gen the story of the king who promised the moon goddess never to tell a lie under her eye in exchange for a prosperous kingdom. It looks like she's working up to a Downer Ending as the king, years later, almost gives a false name while acting as King Incognito, and Gen is getting more and more uncomfortable... then the king's friend breaks an amphora of wine over his head. Which reminds him of his promise.
- Irene tells Relius that she once threw an inkpot at Gen during their wedding night'')Relius: I never thought you would be a fishwife.Irene: Lo, the transforming power of love
- Sounis Sophos returns to the court of Attolia.Attolis: You shot the ambassador?Sounis: You gave me the gun!Attolis: I didn't mean for you to shoot an ambassador with it!
- A good 75% of Gen's interactions with Costis count, although Costis is very often too exasperated to fully appreciate the joke.Eugenides: Am I insufficiently kinglike? Costis has been telling me so.Irene: Unkingly in so many ways, My King. Not least of which is listening to your guard tell you so.
- In an epic display of Did I Just Say That Out Loud?, Costis actually gets a good shot in to the king's comment that Costis might be guard captain for the heir if the royal couple is assassinated, unlikely as that is."The assassination or the heir?"
- This exchange near the end of Queen of Attolia:Attolia: How is your head, sir?
Attolia: With worry? You do not like our harum-scarum plans?
Minister: I am filled with admiration for them, your Majesty.
Eddis: Your head?
Attolia: He had to be forcibly dissuaded from strangling his son.
Eddis: So have we all, from time to time.
- Attolia's husband remarks that if she ever stopped fussing over him, he'd start sleeping with two knives under his pillow. Her response? "Oh, please." It dawns on Sophos that she means no amount of knives would save him.
- In King of Attolia, Eugenides has just engineered the fall of the House of Erondites, the most powerful and belligerent baron in Attolia in a mere ninety-eight days, winning the respect of a man who hated him and utterly astonishing his attendents who thought him an idiot in the process. Then Irene asks for clarification on one point:The difficulty with Dite that you two have settled, she said thoughtfully, disbelieving the conclusion she had reached. You were jealous of Dite?The king, the master of the fates of men, before their eyes was reduced to a man, very young himself, and in love. Picking again at the coverlet, he answered, with his eyes cast down, Wildly.
- From the same scene, Irene being completely unaware that Dite was in love with her, something that had been obvious to any bystander from the palace to the country of Sounis.
- Attolis refuses to practice swordplay with Telus on account of his hangover and then says he could have Teleus' head off if he wanted."Of course, sire. [Beat] With a word."
- Many of Eugenides's interactions with people he doesn't like are hilarious—at least, to the readers, even if those who underestimate him aren't always in on the joke. This exchange from Thick as Thieves is among the most notable:The Attolian: My king likes to pretend that he doesn't recognize the Mede ambassador. Whenever they meet, the ambassador has to introduce himself—with all of his diplomatic titles and his qualifications.Kamet: No.The Attolian: Yes. Sometimes twice a day.
Funny / The Queen's Thief