Funny / Reba

• From the pilot episode:
  Reba: [upon hearing that Cheyenne and Van thought a girl could only get pregnant one day a month] You can get pregnant the first time you have sex, most days of the month, standing up, sitting down, and in a hotel hot tub! [glances at Brock, who grins at the mention]
• "I am never having sex again!"
• "Drop the paper, turn off the TV and you in the red hat sit down."
• When Cheyenne was suffering through Morning Sickness, Reba "helps" by putting a hand on Cheyenne's stomach and another one on her forehead and says "Yup! You're pregnant!"
• Reba and Van are responsible for a lot of these.
• Also true for most of Kyra's Deadpan Snarker comments.
  • To that same extent, most of her lines in the Season 4 episode "Go Far". To be clear, many of her lines are sung rather than spoken all while she's strumming her guitar.
• Most of Reba and Barbra Jean's interactions. Especially in Season 1. A notable example is in the episode "When Good Credit Goes Bad."
  • Barbra Jean accidentally uses Reba's credit card to buy a $4000 diamond tiara and embarrasses Reba when she can't pick up the check for dinner because her credit card is empty.
  Barbra Jean: Reba...(whispering) I feel like this is my fault.
  Reba: (whispering) So do I!
• In the Season 1 episode "You May Kick The Bride", at Brock and Barbra Jean's wedding, Reba accidentally sews her own pants leg to Barba Jean's wedding dress while mending a tear just before the ceremony. What follows is Reba awkwardly shuffling down the aisle behind Barbra Jean while everyone stares at her. She plays it off by improvising a speech forgiving Brock for cheating on her, and giving her blessing to their union, which breaks the tension... but still leaves her sewn to the wedding dress. So Reba begins an impromptu performance of "Deep in the Heart of Texas", which the entire wedding party and the organ player join in on without hesitation.
• Van accidentally mistaking Reba for Cheyenne while drunk and coming on to her, both of their reactions to the situation were priceless, and Kyra's comment about it is just icing on the cake: "So now you're my brother-in-law and my new daddy?"
• Barbra Jean: Maybe next time I'll marry someone who's ex-wife appreciates me!
• On Barbra Jean's new puppy:
  Reba: You treat that animal like it can walk on water!
  Barbra Jean: What is "dog" spelled backwards Reba?
  (later on in the conversation)
  Van Montgomery: GOD! It spells God.
• Henry's birth:
  Barbra Jean: Brock, I had an epidural. I think that's what Jesus would have wanted.
  Kyra: I think that's what Mary would have wanted.
  • Later in the conversation:
  Barbra Jean: (Looks at machine) Oh, look, I'm having a contraction. (In utter medicated bliss) Who knew?
  • Earlier, before she had the epidural, she's in labor while Van and Cheyenne are arguing over what college to go to. Barbra Jean attempted to be polite, but finally, she grabs Van by the stopwatch around his neck and yanks his head down.
  Barbra Jean: I... NEED... DRUGS!
  • The original reason they were at the hospital was because Cheyenne was having Braxton-Hicks contractions. After examining her, the doctor announces that no one was going to have a baby that day. Barbra Jean, who was sitting on Reba's purse, chose that moment to announce that her water just broke.
  Reba: You're sitting on my purse!
• Baby Elizabeth:
  Cheyenne: You're leaving? Who's going to watch Elizabeth?
  Reba: Oooh, that was close. I almost left her alone with her parents!
  Van Montgomery: They all want grandchildren, but they never think of the consequences...
• Van's "genius" duck call:
  "Hey ducks!"
• Barbra Jean thinks Brock is having an affair.
  Reba: Don't think of it as Brock having a mistress. Think of it as us having a new girl for our club.
• "Do it for our kids. Remember? The sweet ones that are blackmailing us."
• "Hi, I'm Barbra Jean, and I'm the face of STD."
• Van's viral videos on YouTube in "Locked and Loaded".
• Van's rage during soccer practice in "Bullets Over Brock".
• Brock's complaint about Barbra Jean during a "couple's therapy" night in which the couples trade off.
  "It's not just that we have to arrange forty stuffed animals every time we make the bed. It's that they have to be in a very specific order, and Blinky and Lou-Lou can't sit next to each other because 'they have history.' And you want to know what the sick part is, Reba? I Want to know what that is."
  • Which became a Brick Joke at the end of the episode when Brock stuck his head in the living room to inform Reba.
    "Reba ... Barbra Jean told me the story about Blinky and Lou-Lou ... and it is so sad!"
    • It's actually two Brick Jokes in one. The therapist took one look at Brock and said he would be the first to cry.
• The entirety of the episode where Barbra Jean thinks her house is haunted.
  Barbra Jean: And all of the sticks outside were arranged to spell out 'Barbra Jean'...but in a language no one had ever seen before.
  • And then Reba, claiming she knows the language, proceeds to speak hilarious gibberish, which freaks Barbra Jean out. Later in the episode, when Brock suggests Reba can stay with Barbra Jean at her house to try to help her feel safe, Reba does it again, this time directed at Brock. Barbra Jean's reaction this time just tops it off.
• After Reba wrecks Van's beloved car Rhonda, Van's coping mechanism was to write poetry. Badly. Even eight-year old Jake thought it was bad.

  Rhonda, Rhonda... A car I was so fond-a... I wish I could fix you... with a magic wand-a.

  • Later on, when Reba apologizes, Van snaps, "Well, thanks to you, I have to go and rent a Honda." (Van looks up, realizes it rhymes, and promptly starts writing it into the poem.)
  • The entire episode ("The Blonde Leading the Blind") qualifies, from Barbra Jean stuffing a peanut butter sandwich in Reba's mouth to prevent her from eating a sponge, to Barbra Jean's artistically-licensed interpretation of Reba's apology in her diary.
• Van's killer smile

  Reba: That's not a killer smile, that's a smile of a killer.

• Barbra Jean, planning to try out for a pageant, displays her planned audition by singing "Ave Maria"... before yelling "BREAK IT DOWN, MARY!" and going into a tap dance.

  Kyra: (entering a few minutes later) Aw, did I miss Mary breaking it down?