- After the kids are introduced to the Chron-O-John:Bernard: Have any people ever been hurt in this thing?
Dr. Fred: Of course not! (All three smile.) This is the first time I've ever tried it on people!
(All three panic.)
- Hoagie is not enthused about time travel.Hoagie: Bernard, float over here so I can punch you.
- Followed by him being the only one enjoying the more exciting Chron-O-John trip after the diamond breaks, riding the machine like a surfer complete with accompanying music.
- In what's almost par for the course for LucasArts adventure games, there's an item (actually two: Bernard's Flux Dynamics textbook and the disappearing ink) that you can use on almost any character and cause a variety of hilarious and unexpected reactions. Among the greatest ones are Oozo the clown (textbook) and the guard tentacle, when Laverne's been let out of jail to go to the bathroom (ink).Tentacle Guard: Eugh! The grass! Use the grass! Disgusting humans...
- For Oozo, Bernard takes the book out and knocks the clown over without even realising it, prompting it to knock him back.Bernard: The-
Oozo: Ha. Ha. Ha.
Bernard: Some people have no appreciation for the finer things in life.
- If you use the disappearing ink on the Purple Tentacle in the future, Laverne says "He might clap me in irons if I do that"... and then smirks and squirts him right in the "eye".Purple Tentacle: That trick has got to be older than I am.
- For Oozo, Bernard takes the book out and knocks the clown over without even realising it, prompting it to knock him back.
- This classic line after sending Nurse Edna flying out of the mansion:Bernard: You know what they say: if you want to save the world, you have to push a few old ladies down the stairs.
- When you talk to Green Tentacle for the first time, he asks you if you know what Purple Tentacle is up to. One of the dialogue prompts is "pushing old ladies down stairs".
- When Laverne is taken to a "human veterinarian":Laverne: Are you going to use your scalpel?
Dr. Tentacle: No.
Laverne: Darn... (beat) Do you want to use mine?
Dr. Tentacle: Err... no.
- Trying to distract the Purple Tentacle with the "Look behind you, a three-headed monkey!" ruse, after the three protagonists have (apparently) merged into a three-headed humanoid:Purple Tentacle: The only three-headed monkey here is in front of us.
- This bit:Bernard: "Now what do I do?"
Dr. Fred: "I think I made myself perfectly clear. Step One: Find Plans. Step Two: Save World. Step Three: Get Out Of My House! Let's get cracking!"
- Bernard puts a hamster in the deep freeze for Laverne to recover in the future. She revives the hamster in a microwave oven, while Breaking the Fourth Wall to tell us that kids who try this in real life are taken away.
- When Hoagie has to push the kite, simply ignore Benjamin Franklin's signal and do nothing:Benjamin Franklin: Now!
Benjamin Franklin: NOW!
Benjamin Franklin: Now! In the name of science! Now!
(Beat. Kite falls down.)
Benjamin Franklin: What part of the word "now" didn't you understand?
(Hoagie then has three possible answers.)
- The whole ordeal to steal the gold-plated quill pen from the Founding Fathers. First, make George Washington lose his dentures with an exploding cigar and then replace them with a pair of chattering teeth. This will make John Hancock think that Washington is cold and ask Thomas Jefferson to light the fireplace. Then Hoagie uses Hancock's blanket to block the chimney and make smoke fill the hall. The Founding Fathers think there's a fire and jump out of the window in panic.
- While Hoagie is moving the mattress in the attic, the camera shows the Edison twins overhearing the commotion.Ned (or Jed) Edison: Sounds like the cat's caught a moose up there!
- Elderly Purple Tentacle's Villainous Breakdown with threats of We Will Meet Again except, well, he's shrunken, squashed, and his voice is ridiculously high-pitched.
- The tritagonists plead with Dr. Fred to save them from their current plight, only to quickly realize their error when he examines them via X-ray monitor.Dr. Fred: "Idiots! It seems you're NOT exactly the sideshow attraction you imagined. You're just three COMPLETE goofballs, stuck in ONE suit of clothes!"
- And then Hoagie does something physically inappropriate to Laverne trying to extricate himself, causing her to force her way out and then let his stretched shirt snap back and knock him and Fred across the room.
- Early on, when you first talk to Betsy Ross as Hoagie, she’ll tell you not to give her another design change for the flag. Cue the only dialogue prompt being "I’ve got another design change for the flag".
- An explorer tentacle will mention that he once had to eat horrible things to survive. Laverne can select "Cole Slaw" as an example of a horrible thing, resulting in the tentacle saying "Good heavens!"
Funny / Day of the Tentacle