(When we see Rika in this installment, behind her are walls and walls of sake, enough to perhaps get her through the entire story. She's smiling normally)
Rika: Welcome back!
Previously, we reached the end of the Goggle V arc. Romance shit were had again. And...honestly, that's about it.
...I warn you now, it's a good idea to hold onto your sanity good and tight. Because...just when you think things can't possibly get any worse, Akizuki finds new ideas to sink lower. Seriously, what the fuck.
So let's go on with...
(click!)
We begin our Author's Note with Akizuki saying that there are pun-related stuff, since it's...oh, God. It's an explosive chapter.
(Rika headdesks)
One Author's Note in, and I'm already feeling the hurt!
Anyway, we begin the chapter with Bulk and Skull talking. Believe it or not, we actually get something out of this one. Skull states that his son's mom is his true love, and said son, Spike, is nowhere to be found.
By the way, as Samurai went on, Akizuki actually considered deleting the fanfiction if Kimberly was revealed to be Spike's mom. Yes. The man who fucked with both Rangers and Sentai canon, the man who wanted to make things "better", the man who wanted to create so much Lighter and Softer shit...wouldn't have been able to handle Kimberly as Spike's mom.
(Rika laughs, but it's a mixture of a disbelieved laugh and a cry)
Meanwhile, we get our new team for the Dynaman "tribute": Ban, Asuka, Billy, Gaku, and Katherine. They're called the "Explosive Team". Me, I'll call them the "Boom Time Crew", or BTC. They are excited for their mission, say stupid shit about how such-and-such is "explosive" (we get it already, it wasn't cute and clever the first time, it won't be as long as you guys use it), and the Takeru/Mako ship teasing.
As they prepare for their mission, Katherine realizes that she must prove herself. Ryu assures her that not only will everyone help her out, but his kids are excited to see her. And after Kimberly wishes her luck, Katherine says this.
- Kat: "Boy, I can't forget my meeting with my Ohranger countpart Momo in my dreams!"
(Rika taps her fingers, and she shrugs, nothing to say)
(meanwhile, the All-Stars continue to train themselves, whereas a few selected people are chosen to do some scouting. Today, they're Mao, Sean, Dan, Mako, Xander, and Tori. They look for any dangers worth noting)
Tori: I can't wait for this mission to be over...I'm missing my friends over at the Wind Ninja Academy! We were supposed to teach our new students before all this happened!
Mao: I'm sure we'll have it resolved in no time at all.
Xander: Honestly, this Radiguet guy's so freaky, I just wonder, where did he come from?
Mako: From we found out, he was an enemy to the Jetmen. We did some research on him, as well as other people, when we read a story!
Dan: Story? Wait, you mean one of those fanfictions?
(Mao, Sean, and Mako nod)
Oh, God, really, guys? I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. Did it had any bad pairings?
(Sean cringes violently, as if he's trying to suppress the memory out of his mind)
...I take that as a "yes"?
Mako: Yes!
Dan: Damn! Anything else?
Sean: ...it defies description.
(at the training site...)
Natsuki: Wait, you guys read a story?
Ryota: Yes. It was just...horrible.
Jason: All the facts about Sentai were so messed up, the Rangers were messed up, too, and there were so many improbable moments...
(to the scouting group...)
Mao: ...it was just mind-boggling.
Xander: Seriously?! (he blinks)
Mako: Yeah!
Xander: Also, mind if I ask, but this Rika girl...is she nice?
Mako: As long as you don't get onto her bad side, yeah, she can be nice. If a bit snarky.
Otherwise...she can be dangerous. And scary.
Xander: ...wow.
(the group then looks at the road ahead)
Mao: Okay, guys...we need to be quiet. Otherwise, who knows if Radiguet's forces will ambush us?
(the group nods, and they continue on silently)
(at the base...)
Rika: So, are you guys ready for one of the biggest clusterfucks ever, the total "hey, let's ruin everything that makes the Sentai Warriors, well, true Sentai Warriors!" bullshit? I have to warn you, if you're a fan of either Goseiger, Gokaiger, and especially Boukenger, I understand if you need a minute as we get through this.
You ready? Because...it's morphin' time.
We see the laboratory, and at this time, Ranru is working with Professor Makino. But they're not alone, for we see Eri and Natsuki. And they're described as airheads.
(Rika shakes her head)
Makino, for God knows what reason, flips out when he sees them. Dude, you just saw them, why the hell are you angry? Especially since one of them is your very own team member? Oh, and Makino (and, for that matter, Eri and Natsuki) isn't the only person who's acting irrationally in this scenario. Bulk and Skull are, too!
As the duo arrive with straitjackets (yes, straitjackets!), Eri and Natsuki disobey them, calling them "meanies" and deciding to play in the lab. Okay...I know that Natsuki's a Genki Girl Ditz (and part of the inspiration for Alyx Grayson prior to him regaining his memories...and yes, he was also female at that time), but this is just so OOC! What, does Akizuki choose characters he doesn't like and humiliate them so, like what he did to poor Flurious?
So...(Rika sighs)...Natsuki and Eri play in the lab. By messing around with equipment and all the differently-colored chemicals. Ranru, Bulk, Skull, and Makino try to stop them, to no avail so far.
Trust me, it's going to get worse from there.
Meanwhile, the other Goseigers stop by, and Alata wonders why Buredoran returned. Hyde tells him the story of how the other villains got revived, and Moune is worried about Eri. Yeah, um...I got nothing.
At the lab, an explosion happened. And no, it's not caused by Koichi Sakamoto, nor Michael Bay. Billy points out the obvious and decides to head in, causing the mission to stall...for now.
With the explosions, the sprinklers activate, and Eri and Natsuki think it's raining. (Rika, once again, raises her arms with a "what the fuck?" expression) Billy saves Ranru from a chemical spill, but it still splashes the two unfortunate "airheads". Seriously, this is some Flanderization shit here!
So Billy gets the two into the safety shower, and once done, Natsuki and Eri are confronted by Swan, Mikoto, Bulk, and Skull. And yes, the latter two round them up to the detention center.
...hoo-boy. The detention center. After this...man, do I have words for this!
Aya is very upset about the entire situation, and yes, Natsuki and Eri are chained up to their chairs. She gives such an outburst...
- Aya: "You girls should know better not to play around in the laboratory. You could have blown up the whole New Skybase. I hereby put you under detention for two weeks."
By the way, their punishment?
- Aya: "You two can start cleaning up the mess then go to the rock piles after that!"
Yes. You actually read that right. Not only are Eri and Natsuki in trouble, but the punishment? Harsh as fuck! Seriously, why have them go to the rock piles? In fact, why have them go through the laboratory and demean them like this?
Why, why, why?!
Aya goes on to say that the Rangers and Warriors were established to protect the lives of the innocent, and I'm honestly feeling bad vibes from this. Doggie, Swan, and Miki Masaki later show up, and the first commander decides to have the third one oversee the punishments. Why?
- Doggie: "She is in fact far more of an expert with dealing with female discipline than I am."
...this is probably because I haven't seen Sentai, but I fail to see how breaking rocks is considered to be "female discipline".
Oh, and the rock-breaking? It's prepared for the worst offenders. I'm sorry, but me? I don't consider what they did to be the worst. And so, since Eri and Natsuki are the first offenders, they decide to make them examples.
Swan decides to have them clean the laboratories...which is already stated to be the first thing done. And somehow, the two girls offended her so much. How, how, did they offend you? Did they do rude gestures to you? Say something stupid?
You're not going to give me an answer? Okay!
So Miki's told what her "mission" is, and after Eri and Natsuki scream out a Big "NO!", the first of many, she drags them by the ears. And as for the other Goseigers? They decide to deny Eri her food, too.
(Rika looks tranquil for a minute, and then...)
OUR FUCKING HEROES, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!
No. Seriously. I've tolerated the USSPRA's bullshit for so long. So long. Gushing about Cole? Annoying as hell, but I managed to push through. Lovey-dovey shit? Also annoying, but I try to tune it out unless if it's really something worth mentioning. But this? THIS?!? (is shaking really badly) This is the last straw. This is not what Super Sentai and Power Rangers even represent here.
In fact? I don't really want to consider these guys heroes anymore. No! From now on, from this fucking day forward, they're Designated Heroes. And all those moments are why. You can't really root for them, especially with shit like this, and trust me on this one, it does get a hell of a lot worse!
You know what I do see when I read this? I see a gigantic group of jackasses, with the exception of a rare few, who only care about themselves (or Cole), never any fellow humankind. Who flip out when things don't go their way. Who do shit that goes completely against their canon characterizations! USSPRA...(in a completely inhuman shriek)...you will never be true Power Rangers or Sentai Warriors!
(Rika takes deep breaths, and she drinks two bottles of sake, throwing the empty bottles to the wall)
By the way, Akizuki, congratulations on making your heroes even more hated than...anyone else. Seriously. And the worst part of it all is? Chapter 16 is not done yet.
(she looks around)
So how in the hell can I recap it now? Just...go scene by scene, summarize it now, since I've wasted all this time bitching about what happened here?
(she sighs)
Anyway...Billy comforts Ranru, and he heads out for his mission, telling her that they'll meet a scientific Sentai group. She mentions about seeing their older selves. I don't care.
At the U.A.O.E, RINO tries to think of a plan, realizing that the Super Sentai and Power Rangers teams are strong together. And he must destroy them...even if it means...doing...that to the women.
(Rika closes her eyes...then...)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGH!
(outside the base, the scouts hear Rika's agonized scream)
Xander: Did ya hear that?!
Mako: Oh, Rika...what are they doing to you?
(Sean shudders)
Sean: I don't think it's Radiguet torturing her. It may be that fanfiction. I can recognize the scream, the scream where you get to something that horrendous.
Mao: ...Sean, you did nearly the exact same scream when we read it.
Sean: Well, it was disturbing, the way Radiguet was always lusting over women for who knows what reason! It's...gross!
Mao: I know, and we all felt the same way, too. I mean, ever since we read it, I've had nightmares about it.
...but complaining about it won't help save Rika. We gotta move forward!
(at the base, Rika relaxes)
Rika: Anyway, Pope Hat suggests to RINO that he should get rid of Flurious soon, but he decides to keep him. Why? For the sole purpose of distracting his rage. And he decides to send Long, Mikoto, and Shizuka to the Dynaman world.
On that world, Mikoto still wonders why he's still existing, and he even asks Long about his past. Naturally, he's not of any help. He's more focused on destroying our "heroes", and he finds a leech. But regardless, somehow, Mikoto's starting to regain his memories, seeing that the Jashinka are related to the Evorians.
...I have no idea, either.
Long thinks about taking over, since, aside from Mikoto, Shizuka's also getting some changes—namely, she's starting to become her old self. Oy...
By the way, I'm skipping the part of the Jashinka Castle for one reason: it's literally the same damn situation over and over again. About the important thing to take from this is that Mikoto tells them about a leech monster.
(Rika rubs her forehead)
(...at the training area...)
Brittany: So, guys, how do we know what the scouts are finding?
Ryota: They'll tell us with their communicators. Then, we'll track them with our map.
(he tries testing the communicator out, a headset)
Red Lightspeed, this is Red Pirate speaking.
Sean (over the communicator): ...are we seriously doing codenames?
Ryota: Just in case. Can you hear me?
Sean: Loud and clear, Red Pirate.
Ryota: Good. You know what to do?
Sean: Yeah, but for now, we're having Mao lead. I'll let you guys know.
Ryota: Excellent. Over and out, Red Lightspeed.
(the communication ends)
Christopher: ..."Red Lightspeed"? Seriously?
Ryota: It was the first thing that came to mind. (shrugs)
(Christopher laughs as he lifts an apple through telekinesis)
(at the base...)
Rika: Hoo-boy. (drinks) So as the group talk about irrelevant shit, we see the Dynamen—Hokuto Dan (Dyna Red), Ryu Hoshikawa (Dyna Black), Yosuke Shima (Dyna Blue), Kosaku Nango (Dyna Yellow), and Rei Tachibana (Dyna Pink). Believe it or not, they actually do not scout, rather, they remain in their base. Dynaman!Ryu sees Ban's team, wondering if they're aliens.
Also, Billy and Kat have an anime-ish look with their hair. How much do you want to bet that it's similar to—
(Rika smirks)
Ah. Can't spoil that for now.
Billy explains to the Dynamen about what's going on, and they immediately jump at the call. But as they speak, Leech Shinka, our Monster of the Arc, is created, and almost immediately, he's starting to absorb energy. What's his purpose? To create an energy bomb. Yeah...
Also, with Leech Shinka? It's yet another monster with the dangers of overloading. I just wonder if they've ever heard of creating a stable monster.
At the base, Billy notices a power failure, and he prepares to fix it until Kyutaro Yumeno points out that it ain't normal. Uh, no duh? And even as they speak, they find out that the Leech Shinka's attacking a power plant. This causes the two groups to spring into action, and they decide to team up for this one.
...and we all know what happens. Leech Shinka manages to, obviously, leech out the energies, and he starts to leech the Dynamen, only for him to have an overload. After shooting out energy balls, our "heroes" retreat.
At the Dynastation, the Dynamen and the BTC try to think of a way to defeat the enemy. They realize that when they strike with the Super Dynamite, it got so much energy out of it, that when it tried to get them, it got overloaded.
...or "almost the same shit we already know, only that I think Akizuki got the names of the moves mixed up". We see them using the Dynamite Tackle, but...I dunno.
Yumeno thinks that they should use a power generator, one that everyone must contribute to. And so...I'm sorry for cutting this short, but I'll summarize the entire fight. The Leech Shinka uses the generator, and then the Dynamen use the Super Dynamite, with the BTC assisting. Ban finishes it off with the Hybrid Magnum, causing the Monster of the Arc to explode.
...but not so fast, of course. Because it's time for the obligatory "making a giant monster grow and having a robot attack" portion of the fight!
After the Dyna Robo is formed, the team tries to use non-projectile attacks, until Leech Shinka latches onto the robot, causing the power levels to drop like mad. Billy decides that they must intensify the power generator, since it worked decently the first time. He overrides the circuits, and then this happens.
- Billy: "Ranru, you've helped me become a better scientist. I owe you a lot. Only if we didn't belong to two different worlds, I'll really choose you above everything."
...
(Rika facepalms)
So after the generator shoots a beam at Leech Shinka, causing it to overload (and the generator erupt in the process), the Dynamen finish off the enemy with the Science Sword. After the fight, we get another relaxation scene, with the "heroes" using the Time Train to go back to the present. And yes, the Dynamen are at awe when they see it.
You'd think this would be the end of the chapter. You're dead wrong.
Because now we see Eri and Natsuki doing their punishments! And yes, their Transformation Trinkets are confiscated, and yes, they're wearing prison uniforms. What the hell, USSPRA?
And yes, even the Gokaigers are watching them. And...did Doc really call them "airheads" again?!
(Rika takes a long, long drink)
- Take two shots when you see the Gokaigers very wildly OOC.
And even Luka mocks them! What the fuck?
- Marvelous: "Regardless, they should keep pounding rocks as punishment. I can't wait to see them cry all they can!"
...
Are everyone in USSPRA either lovesick morons or jackasses?!
Joe, thank God, tells them to not be too harsh. But he tells them to not watch over them, since it'll make things worse. Uh...I'm not sure if I want to fully support him, or rip him a new one, too.
Oh, and the Shinkenger create rocks by using the modikara character. Seriously. And Eri and Natsuki cry over their predicaments, especially their clothing. Oh, and it gets worse.
...because they also have to eat horrible cooking. Seriously. And who feeds them? Mako. Because...apparentally, we have to be hit over and over again that she will never succeed in cooking well. And the chapter ends with Yukito joining in, and Eri and Natsuki crying over their miseries.
(Rika fake-laughs)
This proves just how unlikeable the USSPRA truly are. Seriously, a detention center? Pounding rocks? Everyone laughing at your misery? They're sick fucks!
This fanfic can just go die in a fire.
(Rika takes a long drink until she slumps over, falling asleep)
Radiguet: <Excellent. Tranza will tend to her. Now to find a way out...>
(he creates a plan to break free. If only he realizes that there isn't really a way unless if he gets lucky)
(but don't tell him that)
Will Rika recover in time to do the Bioman arc? What will the scouting group find? And will the All-Stars succeed?
Emergency Signal; Now, Forward! To the next liveblogging of Super Sentai vs. Power Rangers!!
Comments
We now return to the comment.
And he'll excuse the 'AU' premise that the Gokaigers are OOC. Which by standards would be fine, because this is AU, made by a certain salty Akizuki because the canon Gokaiger had his favorite Gai die. But even then, the OOC-ness is unbearable. I can't believe I said this, but remember how Arnold ruined Gokaiger by giving them really hateful personalities in Gokaiger vs Power Rangers? It's a bad personality give over and the personalities given does suck ass, but they still has more personalities than Akizuki's Gokaiger! I dunno if that's supposed to be a bad or good thing, but really. Just as a warning, the Gokaiger here is... dry as hell.
Oh, and I remember you saying Mikoto may be having an interesting arc. Well don't bet on it. It's Akizuki, bitch. I don't need to explain it.
Oh and I haven't told you this one, but there's this one thing I pointed out in my review. Later, when you get to Liveman arc... there's another deleted thing like the Operation Suicide arc, but it involved Ninja Storm villainesses, Marah and Kapri... getting brutally killed. Why? Because Akizuki thinks they're ditzy and stupid, compared to the Hurricaneger villains! Kalish didn't even work for Ninja Storm! But I guess it's the first Disney PR's... Wow, there's some times I wish I had saved those things in its purest, most diabolical form so I could show you just how bad those were...
You know... 'Sean Akizuki' definitely is not this guy's name. I have avoided calling him 'Sean' to respect that 'Sean' character of yours. But right now, I've started to think that calling him 'Akizuki' would be an insult to Kamen Rider Black's Shadow Moon, whose real name is 'Nobuhiko Akizuki'. I dunno, he may think his real name is too plain... (while I... even if my fanfiction dot net pen name is named after a Castlevania character, I think I like my TV Tropes handle name better, ChrisX. Closer to my real name) and he likes to name himself after something 'cool'. But... I have to think of a new way to call him aside of 'Sean' or 'Akizuki'. You can suggest.
Oh, next is Bioman? I've forgotten how it's like... but I think his fetish on Mika Koizumi AKA Yellow Four I deserve a Drinking Game rule, but I'll let you decide when you get to the chapter.
Blessings to you, Rika. You ARE gonna need it to continue on.
