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Hi, I want to add these entry to Your Lie in April page, but since I got suspended for bad grammatical reason, I won't be able to do it in the near future. So, I hope my writing example can be reviewed here, thanks!

—

The BGM and other musics

• "Again", played when Kaori stops her playing and asks Kousei to repeat their performance after he got his Heroic BSoD while stopped his playing in the process.
• "Boku no Sunde Iru Machi wa Colorful ni Irozuite Iru", played when Kaori grab Kousei's arm and pulls him to go watch her performance.
• "Kimi wa Wasurerareru no", played in the first minute of Episode 1 as Kaori's Establishing Character Moment.
• "Kujikesou ni Naru Watashi wo Sasaete Kudasai", played when Kaori tearfully asks Kousei to be her accompanist.
• "Yuujin A kun wo Watashi no Bansousha ni Ninmei Shimasu", played in many uplifting moment in the series, but the most memorable when Kaori asks Kousei to become her accompanist.

edited 28th Aug '15 11:02:51 PM by rian95

I'm working on the Manga.Your Lie In April page so I'll try and help. One trick I was thinking of offering that might help in general: Read your entries out loud. That might give you an idea of how they read so you can avoid the worst of issues. Anyway, here's what I have in mind for entering, but not sure if they'll line up with what you're trying to say so let me know. The main changes are in italics:

• "Again", played when Kaori stops her playing and asks Kousei to repeat their performance after he stopped playing because of a Heroic BSoD.
  (Not quite sure what the last part [while stopped his playing in the process.] was supposed to mean, to be honest. I'm taking it as "he stopped playing because of a Heroic BSoD and worded the entry accordingly)
• "Boku no Sunde Iru Machi wa Colorful ni Irozuite Iru", played when Kaori grabs Kousei's arm and pulls him to go watch her performance.
  (edit here is more tense consistency)
• "Kimi wa Wasurerareru no", played in the first minute of Episode 1 as Kaori's Establishing Character Moment.
  (this one actually seems fine as-is.
• "Kujikesou ni Naru Watashi wo Sasaete Kudasai", played when Kaori tearfully asks Kousei to be her accompanist.
  (I'm not 100% sure if accompanist is a word or, if it is, if it's spelled correctly. Otherwise seems fine.)
• "Yuujin A kun wo Watashi no Bansousha ni Ninmei Shimasu", played during many uplifting moments in the series. The most memorable is when Kaori asks Kousei to become her accompanist.
  (swapped a couple words to keep the single/plural consistent)

Question though: Are those last two referring to the same event? (Kaori asking Kousei to be her accompanist?)

edited 29th Aug '15 8:15:11 PM by sgamer82

Also, "music" is an abstract noun. This means it's never correct to refer to "a music", or "musics". If there's a singer involved, you can refer to "a song" or "songs", and if there isn't a singer involved, you can refer to "an instrumental" or "a piece" or "a work" etc. But never "a music", and never "musics".

As far as tense consistency goes, How to Write an Example says that examples that happen in a given work should always be written in the present tense. If an example describes an event which in turn references past events, the past events can be described using the past tense (such as, "In Episode 30, Alice reminds Bob of the conversation they had in Episode 24."), but the main example should use the present tense. So the second example should use "grabs" rather than "grabbed", and "pulls" rather than "pulled".

edited 29th Aug '15 6:38:02 PM by mlsmithca

Huh. Never realized the tense was intended to be that specific. Something to keep in mind myself as I tend to default to past tense much of the time.

@ #2125

For starters, you need to improve your capitalization. Capital letters (A, B, C, D, E, F) are used for special purposes. When there isn't such purpose, you should use lower-case letters (a, b, c, d, e, f)

How to use capital letters? Tips on Grammar explains. For more explanations see Wikipedia article, and Text-Formatting Rules, Wiki Word.

For Angelic Transubstantiation ykttw discussion:

• Maria the Virgin Witch: In the finale, an angel gets punished by being stripped of her powers and vanishes awaiting rebirth as human from a womb of her choosing. The angel in question is Ezekiel, an irritable overseer sent to meddle in Maria's rebellion at first. Celestial hiearchy couldn't tolerate her growing fond of Maria and acting on that. Guess whose she chooses.

edited 30th Aug '15 2:53:46 PM by SetsunasaNiWa

I propose a additional entry to the If It Swims, It Flies page under the real life section.

• Hydrofoil's are perhaps the most widely produced version of this trope. Hydrofoil boats lift them selves out of the water with what our basically wings, decreasing drag and increasing speed and fuel efficiency.

Corrections in bold:

• Hydrofoils are perhaps the most widely produced version of this trope. Hydrofoil boats lift themselves out of the water with what are basically wings, decreasing drag and increasing speed and fuel efficiency.

• You don't need the apostrophe. Most of the time, apostrophes in a word show possession. So you can write about hydrofoils and their performance, or you can write about a hydrofoil's performance.
• "themselves" is one word.
• Bit of a sound-alike mixup. Like the apostrophe, "our" suggests possession. Our help will make sure your entries are sound.

edited 31st Aug '15 7:46:58 PM by sgamer82

For this link.

I will add the new trope for Professor Adam Jonathon Fenix.

• Knew It All Along: He is the only one who knew about the Locust's existence before Emergence Day. E-Day won't happen if he can research how to cure Imulsion's Disease, except Admiral Prescott kidnapped him first and sent him to Azura, which caused him to have too little time.

edited 4th Sep '15 11:18:12 PM by Aurevoir

I got one for the MagicTheGathering.Gameplay Tropes page:

• Always a Bigger Fish: Reef Worm is just a 0/1 creature, but when it dies it creates a 3/3 Fish token. When the Fish dies, it creates a 6/6 Whale token, and when the Whale dies it creates a 9/9 Kraken token.^note The flavor is that the worm gets eaten by the fish, who gets eaten by the whale, who gets eaten by the kraken.

edited 4th Sep '15 3:37:26 PM by Kingofsouls

On the formatting side, you generally want to avoid all-spoiler tagged entries and you never spoiler tag the trope name itself. Grammar wise:

• The entry's a run-on sentence, you can probably put a period in place of "and" between "Emergency Day" and "E-Day."
• Change "the only one who know" to "the only one who knew about" or, if you want it in present tense, "the only one who knows about." Personally I'd go for the former since you're referring to prior events.
• Looking at the link, it's "Emergence Day", not "Emergency Day", also nowhere on the page is it referred to as "the" Emergence day so you can probably drop that and the "the" before "E-Day." Going by the link you probably don't need a "the" before "Imulsion" either.
• For the last portion, I'll be honest, I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to say. If I have the right idea, it sounds like "E-Day won't happen if he can research how to cure Imulsion's Disease, except Admiral Prescott kidnapped him first and sent him to Azura, which caused him to have too little time."

• Missed a period after "3/3 Fish token." You can also probably put a period in place of "and" between "Whale token" and "When the whale dies."
• You need to be more consistent with capitalization, I think. The card itself capitalizes the words for Fish token, Whale token, and Kraken token. You do that when you refer to the tokens but not after. So more like "When the Fish dies, it creates a 6/6 Whale token. When the Whale dies it summons a 9/9 Kraken token." Capitalization in the Note can probably be left as-is.

edited 4th Sep '15 5:51:06 AM by sgamer82

Fixed.

This for the Ron the Death Eater page under fanwork examples for Video Games

• Sonic The Hedgehog
  • Tails in this short fic is inexplicably warped from a sweet natured Adorably Precocious Child into an Ax-Crazy killer who murders Sonic in cold blood then presumably goes off to murder Amy.

I'd also like to add Flanderization and Jerkass Ball to the Bad Writing Index under the Crazy Characterization folder

• Flanderization: It's not a good idea to take a single or a couple of a character's traits and play them up over all their other traits, it makes your character seem one-dimensional as well as unlikable.
• Jerkass Ball: unless there's a legitimate reason for it, you should probably not have a usually nice,friendly character all of the sudden start acting like a complete prick just because the plot demands it.

edited 18th Sep '15 5:38:43 PM by starkitty93

Fixed.

For VideoGame.S 4 League

• Unorthodox Reload: Roughly three-seconds-long, the reloading animation of Sub-Machine Guns (visually a dual "spraying" weapon, and one of the earliest weapons to be designed) is enough for two back-and-forth arc swinging motions with arms kept fully extended. The first is sharper and wider, as if to send the invisible spent magazines flying. Final swing is deeper, more narrow and is combined with intense wrist twirling motion. Like any other weapon reload, it can also be performed while walking and jumping.

edited 7th Sep '15 11:15:43 AM by SetsunasaNiWa

When you're "at a disadvantage", which word or phrase do you use to specify the one who has the advantage over you? Alice is at a disadvantage... towards Bob? With Bob? Compared to Bob? With respect to Bob?

You have an advantage over Bob or a disadvantage against Bob.

edited 9th Sep '15 6:47:23 AM by videogmer314

With respect to and compared to also work there.

edited 9th Sep '15 6:48:16 AM by Fighteer

I'd like to add the following line to the The Tetris Effect page, under the "Roguelike" folder:

• After playing Crypt Of The Necrodancer for a few hours, you will do everything in the rhythm afterwards.

edited 13th Sep '15 10:31:43 AM by gao

You're missing a period there, and that's not how "rhythm" is spelled.

Done; would somebody publish it, please?

Isn't having "after" and "afterwards" there redundant? I'm not sure, so I'm asking.

Yes, those are redundant. Also, it doesn't explain what, exactly, in the game you will be doing for hours.

For LightNovel.Katanagatari

• Bring It: Starting gloomy with all the awkward worries over own place near Togame, Shichika considers to forfeit an ongoing match against a Deviant Blade owner from anime episode 5. Togame realises it and makes a scene with a tirade. Invigorated by that, Shichika includes a palm-closing inviting gesture towards his opponent in their next exchange, which makes said opponent pull off a supermove that partially destroys the arena.

edited 19th Sep '15 12:10:40 PM by SetsunasaNiWa

Hi there I'm Andrew and I wish to post this on Running Man series in the funny section

• Episode 265 : Escape Out Of The Island a.k.a The TruGary Show Returns
  • In order for them to leave the island, each member must find and stick word sticker in a random lucky bad based on their name and stick it onto their respective life jackets. The additional mission is to make Gary the last person to be on the island.
    • Before they reach their destination, each members are given an IQ test. When HaHa asks who are the bottom three it is Lee Kwang Soo, Gary and himself (Adding insult to injury that he's the last).
    • There are some mini games during the mission when upon winning it that member receive a word sticker. However knowing about the additional mission, everyone doesn't want Gary to win. For example during the match game [[note]Each member needs to light the match and let it lit for three seconds to pass.[[/note]] Gary nearly got it in 2 1/2 seconds, Suk Jin missed lighting the match and Jae Suk got his match blown out by Suk Jin after a sly remark from him.
    • Poor Kwang Soo. Despite winning the 'Wa' word in the match game, he accidentally breaks the sticker off, losing his only chance to leave the island. To add insult to injury, the PD crew reveals that they created two 'Wa' word only and couldn't give him the sticker even he wins.
      • After Gary,Suk Jin and guest John Park done their turn on the Shouting meter challenge, Gary decide to play cheat by tickling Kwang Soo to make him fail. Gary does this the same to Jae Suk with Kwang Soo and Suk Jin.
      • Gary's Epic Fail moment to tie a knot of a rope without letting go of the rope at both ends. That is all.

edited 24th Sep '15 6:11:18 PM by andrew369

So anyone can help me post this if this is alright?