Shit our teachers say.

I swear, most of my teachers are so used to the weird crap that I do that it rarely fazes them.

I remember last year walking into Spanish class with a blood donor sticker on my forehead (for the lolz) and my teacher just greeted me and handed me a worksheet.

I wish my history teacher think that.

Me: *wears a Nomex suit because it is 12 degrees outside*

History teacher: "Hello astronaut. Hey, can you pass this to NASA? Bye astronaut."

My science teacher was trying to show the class a video. 15 minutes in, we learnt that we had to buy the video for $1 to see the rest of it.

Tom Suchanek, technically not my teacher but still a teacher:

edited 7th Oct '14 12:20:06 AM by KnightofNASA

English teacher telling us the last project of the year:

Chemistry teacher again.

That day I learned my parents (who were friends since elementary school, didn't go to the same college) is a rare shiny Pokemon.

My Technical English professor. Guy's a gold mine.

"My plan is to kill you all."

So now that I have my graduation book thing, enjoy gems of the past three years.

edited 21st Oct '14 6:26:28 AM by Jarina

I go to a high school with a great deal of quirky teachers.

• There's the Cool Old Guy physics teacher who has casual talked about the time he punched a shark in the face while scuba diving. He's such a Memetic Bad Ass in the school that there's a rumor that he was in the CIA at one point.
• An enviromental science teacher. I was never in his class, but he quickly became notorious for his Crosses the Line Twice sense of humor (for example: “Charter schools have longer school days and go into summer later so that the kids don't rob people and do drugs.”)

Hell, my school has a whiteboard in a upperclassmen-only lounge dedicated to memorializing strange and funny things the teachers say. The teachers with the most quotes included the previously mentioned science teacher,

our headmaster (who is famous for being very awkward, his frequent use of bad puns and MANY accidental innuendos while speaking at assemblies)

and an English teacher for his Cloud Cuckoolander tendencies, being an adult Keet and the contrast created by him being very well read, but VERY willing to engage in a PrecisionFStrike. He took a group of students to the capitol for a field trip and ended up screaming "FUCK!" while they were in the building.

edited 23rd Oct '14 3:02:40 PM by TheMuse

"Your mind is still too concrete. You have to mature a little more before you can understand this"

Said to my by my college professor. For the record, this was a freshman chemistry class, and I had been trying to clarify whether he was using the word "burning" in a figurative or literal sense.

Other than that rather odd incident, I love the class, though. He doesn't say odd things very often, but he looks like someone cloned Benjamin Franklin, down to the long hair, and gives us extra credit for doing "cultural activities", which are basically anything that involves other people and not sitting around on our computers. This includes Dungeons And Dragons and visiting the farmer's market.

"I'll email (Tech Coordinator) and let him know that Computer 42-4 has gone disco."

During Creative Writing, one of my classmates was saving a document when the screen went blank. A few seconds later, the screen started flashing random colors. Since the computer lab we were in was adjacent to the former tech coordinator's (my computer apps teacher) classroom, the student decided to go get her to see if she knew what the problem was. When she came in, she danced in response to the screen before saying that there was either a problem with the graphics card or the motherboard.

One by me, a few days ago, because I'm being slowly phased out due to me having something along the lines of Vetinari Job Security. Note that in this, I'm wearing a multicoloured Jester's hat.

... Yeah, I thought I'd have some fun by myself.

Do you work in a military school?

Nope, I'm just known for being The Wonka and making people laugh.

Best teacher ever. :D

"The wi-fi is down! The wi-fi is down!"

Frantically yelled by an old English teacher of mine as he ran down the school's hallway, past my chemistry classroom. He repeated his shouts for the entire length of the hallway.

...No, I don't know, either.

edited 29th Oct '14 9:32:38 AM by dmboogie

"Remember, Conservation of Parking Spaces."

Not teacher, but my senior chief a few weeks ago:

"We don't have a parking problem on this base, we have a walking problem. Think about it, and if you still don't understand, wait until I'm ready to explain it to the Ordies."^note short for Aviation Ordinance Mates, aka the dumbest rate in naval aviation.

Idgi . How do u have a walking problem ?

There's lots of parking spaces .. but most of them are >1/4 mile away from where people work.

But isn't that like two minutes jog?

Edit: I will tell my story later.

edited 31st Oct '14 5:51:39 PM by KnightofNASA

"I think this looks good now. No need to chop off any more of (female student's) fingers."

Computer applications teacher/yearbook advisor. We had a senior group photo, and the teacher thought that the student's fingers looked weird when someone was editing.

I don't know why she thought that editing them out was necessary.

My Political Systems teacher said a few days ago, when discussing the idea of Acting President while the President is sick or disabled, used the kid who sits in front of me as an example, the following. "Now, using Austin let's say he's the Vice President, and he's thinking 'How can I become President?'" He said this after talking about a old movie where the V.P. was crooked and had poisoned the President to become in charge.

Tech teacher: We need more engineers. Not farmers.

FBI presenter: Don't get any idea off this.