"Is my character a Mary Sue" thread

Guys, both of them are fine.

Thanks, BMA =)

I gave Traveller a good bit of flaws. While it might be an almost-Invincible Hero in the physical sense, he's not going to bend entities to its will or make everybody like it on first sight anytime at all. And socialization with alien entities is actually one of its biggest challenges.

I don't think giving a character random flaws may be the way to go. Instead of just tacking on flaws to make sure they're "a well-rounded character," maybe try and have their flaws be an extension of their standard personality. Like smart and cynical can mean a person could be pretty insufferable at times, or dumb and cynical means a person is more a "shoot-first, ask-questions-later" kinda guy, or a romantic could be, well, a hopeless romantic.

Also, really, worrying about appearance is kinda silly. What's important is how they react to it; either they don't like the attention they get, they flaunt it, they'll acknowledge it from time to time, or, like a good many cases already, they simply won't care. That's what makes an interesting character: how they react to different things.

Hmm. Trouble is that Traveller is one of those nice guy/laid back sort. And kinda Martial Pacifist. Need to find a flaw for those.

I'd say that another flaw is his human way of socializing. Wouldn't be much in a story set on Earth, but in this story it does not sit well with a good bit of the alien entities he meets. The cultural barrier is one of the things he has to constantly overcome.

I was thinking of him getting away with nothing with his pranks Sooo yeah.

Perceived flaws definitely need to grow out of the character's personality.

One of my characters is intelligent and knowledgeable with steadfast ideals - which leads him to occasionally be arrogant and opinionated (for things he's particularly passionate about).

I tend not to look at character traits as "good" or "bad" as they can be either - being stubborn (generally viewed as a "fault") can have its good side (it just gets renamed as "steadfast" or some such synonym but, really, it's the same trait) and being "selfless" and "caring" can lead you to a world of problems (even to the point where concerned friends tell you to maybe stop helping others and take time for yourself before you lose everything you've got or burn yourself out).

So, depending on the situation, a character could be viewed as "steadfast and dependable despite all opposition" or "a stubborn old bastard who's stuck in his ways". Same personality as a "virtue" or a "vice".

Think less on having enough "flaws" and more on character traits and how those traits play out in the story. A character could be brave and the champion of the underdog - but that could lead them to taking stupid risks and rushing in where "angels fear to tread" - because they're also "spontaneous" (or "impetuous", depending on how you want to cast it) - and get themselves in hot water up to their neck.

Now it's my turn to submit a character for litmus testing as an Anti-Hero Sue.

• The character in question is the child of two canon characters. Both parents are war heroes: his mother is an Ace Pilot Char Clone while his father is a highly polarizing figure treated as a borderline-royalty Messianic Archetype by some and a Doom Magnet Walking Disaster Area by others. Oh, and both parents are considered in-universe to be highly attractive as well: blonde and blue-eyed mother, gray-haired, red-eyed and almost albino-levels pale father. From this the character in question inherits blonde hair, red eyes and the father's facial structure, with a skin color that's still somewhat pale but closer to normal.
• However, to say that he does not get along with his parents is an understatement. He found out via telepathy at an early age that when his mother was pregnant with him, she seriously considered having an abortion (since the father is genetically-engineered and technically not the same Human Subspecies as her, and since there was no precedent for such a pregnancy, there was absolutely no way to know whether the child will be born healthy - not to mention that it was a Teenage Pregnancy via Medical Rape and Impregnate, so she had no reason to keep the child to begin with); since then, he never really trusted her. As for his father, the less said in front of him about that PTSD-ridden wreck who drowned himself in alcohol after falling past the Despair Event Horizon, the better. Part of the reason for the hate he has towards his father is because everywhere he goes, every time his identity comes up, it's always "hey, isn't this that guy's kid?" He's never recognized for who he his or what he's done, only for who his father is and what his father had done, insinuating (to him) that he can never break out of his parents' shadow. Even calling him by his last name (taken from his father) prompts him to edgily correct the speaker with his middle name (taken from his mother).
• And here is where we arrive to the core issue with his personality: he's extremely snappish and confrontational. Mildly arrogant, even. For example, at one point, he does not follow orders during combat; when his superior justifiably chews him out for it afterward, he shoots back that the chain of command can go fuck itself because he will not follow stupid orders when they get in the way of him wrecking the enemy's shit. And when said superior retorts that he's way too early to talk down to her like he's hot shit just because of who his father is (hitting a major Berserk Button), he has to be physically restrained from attacking her.
• Which would've been a really bad thing for said superior, as he inherited every bit of his father's abilities as a gene-modified Super-Soldier, which include enough Super-Strength to splatter a human's head with a single blow. And he already demonstrated beforehand that he lacks the moral restraints to grievously hurt people: he's been harassed by some bullies and did not strike back in order to avoid giving them even more ammunition against him, but when one of them implied that they'd go after his sister, he snapped and beat them up so brutally that they barely even survived being taken to the hospital. He did not feel any remorse about it afterwards either (especially when the authorities investigated the matter and discovered that the bullies' families were being paid for the harassment).
• Other abilities he has include a Healing Factor^note not enough to matter in combat, but enough to recover from otherwise career-breaking injuries and suffer no long-term ill effects from high g-forces, hyper-efficient immune system and liver detox mechanisms^note alcohol dose beyond lethal for a normal human is only enough for moderate intoxication and gets completely flushed out of his system within the hour; nothing short of pure ethanol has a chance of killing him via acute alcohol poisoning instead of kidney failure caused by the sheer quantity ingested, telekinesis^note strong enough to hurt people if he punts them into a wall at close range; he can also use it as improvised propulsion while in zero gravity, Psychic Radar and telepathy. All of these he inherited from his father, with his sister, cousin and aunt (also a canon character) having the powerset as well. His mother is an ordinary human, but no Hybrid Power is in play here.
• Speaking of that incident of him assaulting and critically injuring three underage people, he never gets punished for that. Instead, he gets press-ganged into becoming the pilot of a Humongous Mecha he also jacked and taken for a joyride on an impulse at asking out his Love Interest and getting rejected, a joyride that ended up in him traveling back in time, saving his parents from The Dreaded and engaging The Dreaded in a crazy high-speed aerial duel a complete rookie like him has absolutely no way of pulling off. Compounding the problem is that after that incident, the mecha suddenly became obstinate and refused to work for anyone but him.
• Said mecha is a Lightning Bruiser Super Prototype, crazily fast and powerful compared to everything else in the verse. We're talking Zaku vs Unicorn Gundam levels of powerlevel-difference here - and that's before the 11th-Hour Superpower Mid-Season Upgrade. Through the story, he racks up such an impressive killcount that, by the end of the story, the mere sight of his white, winged mecha is enough to make the enemy scream bloody murder, throw their weapons away and run as fast as possible in the opposite direction. And at some point, he actually is ruthless enough to kill them anyway - before he gets framed for a war crime (destruction of a space station that causes several thousand civilian deaths; he was there but it wasn't his side who did it) and declared a terrorist, causing his enemies to scream for his blood and desperately fight to the last man instead of fleeing because they'd die either way. It's later revealed that his unusually good skills for being a rookie wasn't because of any special aptitude he had but because of his mecha being just that responsive to handle as if it was his real body.
• Other notable things about him is going Enemy Mine Back-to-Back Badasses with The Dreaded with whom they acknowledge each other as a Worthy Opponent, ending up in a Battle Couple with the girl who turned him down before (she did it because of peer pressure and subsequently had a hard time getting through to him to apologize), discovering that the enemy Super-Soldier he repeatedly crosses paths with is actually his sister (created as his backup for the Medical Rape and Impregnate that conceived him and raised as a Laser Guided Tyke Bomb) and bringing her over to his side. Oh, and his exploits also earn him quite the fame on his own side - in a "man, that kid's batshit crazy but he's got balls" way.

edited 20th May '16 5:32:36 PM by amitakartok

hmmm interesting. i do have a character who's smart and cynical making him a bummer to be around pretty much.