Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG

Just because the barbarian is dumber than several kinds of wild animal, doesn't mean he sleeps in an enclosure, nor does he eat off the floor or need to be house-trained.

Hey now, a player character's bare minimum Int is 3 (and then only if you roll it and the DM lets/forces you to keep that roll), and that's as high as most animals go.

If the player is roleplaying them as that dumb, then whatever; they don't know how it works.

edited 15th Aug '16 10:16:52 PM by Knowlessman

And most DMs don't let a player dump a stat lower than 5.

Or at least that's what I've seen (and I abide by it as well)

He had an Int of 5 in 5th Edition, and IIRC, the Ape, Giant Ape, and Giant Eagle all have Intelligence scores of 6 or higher (not mentioning the Worg or Winter Wolf, which both have Int 7), all of which can be found in the Miscellaneous Creatures section of the MM.

edited 15th Aug '16 11:49:27 PM by MightyG

So they broke away from the rule that animals have at most INT 2.

(well that's still true for the normal animals, just not for the giant ones)

Apparently I am allowed to use acrobatics to jump 50 feet in the air even if the rules say I can jump only 10 feet high at most with only a +20 to jump

edited 16th Aug '16 6:54:27 AM by Braincogs

Giant Eagles are magical beasts in Pathfinder (and I'll bet in 3.5 as well), which allows them to go over INT 2 (and also gives them full BAB and d10 HD instead of an animal's 3/4 BAB and d8 HD). Also, they have INT 10.

To jump 50 feet straight up, the DC is 200 (4 per foot), so you need +180 to even have a chance of succeeding. To jump a length of 50 feet, the DC is 50 (5 per 5 feet). No rule forbids you to attempt the check, but you're going to fail it regardless of what you roll (no automatic successes or failures on skill checks).

• You do not need to know what the crime syndicate actually does with the elf ears they have a bounty for.

• Do not mock Los Tiburon. His displays in the arena may be faked, but his displays in battle definitely aren't.

• Contrary to popular belief, it is actually possible to tell male and female kobalds apart.
  • Therefore, it is not required to pick them up and sex them before deciding to hit on the bar staff.

edited 18th Aug '16 12:14:56 PM by TheManFromOutside

Stonehenge is not to be used as an anti-personnel weapon.

• Even if it works better than your fighter's guns.

@2659 Well, to be fair infantry don't have a lot of protection against national monuments.

• I am not allowed to have any contact with Ashwood Abbey again. Ever.

• Halflings are not 3/5ths of a dwarf (Not one of mine)

• I cannot spend all my starting gold on Halflings (This one's mine)

• If it can staple a vampire to a wall from across the city, then I am to assume I can't have it.
  • Or any other kind of monster.
    • This goes double if it's automatic.

• Shooting angels on the basis of 'They're daemons in reverse' is a bad idea.

• I cannot kill the god-machine by putting a magnet to it's hard drive.

No, the werewolf doesn't want a bone.

no matter how much i pay, or who i go to, i cannot order a brass death ray unless it has some sort of magic or sufficiently advanced technology, even if i explain how its acoustic properties can be utilized.

Contrary to what the rest of the party may tell me, apparently the catapult is a survivable mode of transportation to the enemy camp, given enough pillows. ^But... However, it was pointed out to me after the fact that I could have just asked our summoner's spider-wife familiar to use her telepathic bond to said summoner to just send for an angel summon to fly me there, not to mention another warlock in the party could have cast a spell that would have nullified the impact if I still wanted to go through it... but between the makeshift padded armour of pillows and my high Physical Resistance score, the latter didn't make that much difference.

• Casting a cantrip to avoid triggering a guaranteed Wild Magic Surge will result in the DM deciding that it triggers on the cantrip.
• My crossing off the "You cast Fireball centered on yourself" result on the Wild Magic Surge table ^note (each result is two numbers on a percentile, so I scribbled that each number just goes to the next-closest result) will be taken as an attempt to impede the DM's fun and therefore ignored. Probably. Maybe. (It is an Adventurer's League campaign, and we are getting close to 5th level.)
• There are no League rules against telling the party you found less loot than you did; however, that's a lot of Insight checks to beat, even with a +7 to Deception, and the players will just find a way to find out in-character anyway.

Still waiting on getting to definitively add "Not allowed to refer to Int (Nature checks) as 'Roll to metagame'."

edited 5th Sep '16 10:35:25 PM by Knowlessman

See, my GMs take the opposite approach to Knowledge skills - they all know that I know most of the stats anyway, so at least I can justify pulling that info out with all of my skill ranks (oh, and Bardic Knowledge).

I have the suspicion I'm about to add to this list soon. Due to class combinations and the fact that I'm the only one with significant ranks in Use Magic Device (and thus the only one with a chance to use it), my bard in a Pathfinder game has ended up with a staff of swarming insects. We're really close to the Big Bad (and no real chance to stop off to attempt to trade it in), so I suspect that there will be part of the battle in which I stride forth and issue the mighty battle cry "BEES, MOTHERFUCKER!" I can't imagine being allowed to do this more than once.

If your GM allows it, have one of your victims say 'OH, NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EEEEEEEEEYES! AARGHABLARGHRAWRGHRAWRGHWARGHRARRARGHRAGHRAA!!'

Firefly references are allowed - encouraged, even - but there is a limit to how much Inspiration I can get from doing them

edited 11th Sep '16 8:31:14 PM by Reflextion

I can never be told the odds only so many times.

Things I am not allowed to do- no, my monk can't slap the dragonborn paladin awake every morning. Even if she has a level in cleric.

edited 18th Sep '16 5:41:21 AM by BlizzardeyeWonder

• Even though my Guardsman has a Ballistic Skill of 52, not permitted to snipe the Captain's pipe.
  • Also not allowed to pin it on the squad's other sniper.

• I am no longer allowed to reply to the bandit's insults with "Oh yeah, what are you gonna do, stab me?"

Making myself a humanoid panda warlock who specialises in chaos magic requires me to do more than say 'I BRING PANDA-MONIUM' and then throw literal Chaos Magic Missles at our foes.

I am never allowed to make a chaste succubus character, even if I am solely using her so we have the +10 on lockpicks (This was for a test of a new game as being developed by a member of our group)

Also no longer allowed to make a dog who has high intellect, high charisma but low wisdom just so he'll sniff out demon scrolls, read them and then summon a demon who'll play fetch with him.

edited 24th Sep '16 1:54:46 PM by RatherRandomRachel

You built a Pandaren 'lock? In what setting was this madness unleased?

I am no longer allowed to roll my dice by throwing them horizontally, as those tend to get thrown off the table a lot.^note While that may seem like a no-brainer, it's why I'm no longer allowed to do that that's the interesting thing. My warlock in Anima: Beyond Fantasy was putting all of his remaining Zeon into an attack spell at the campaign's Big Bad, only to roll a 1... which resulted in my character hitting the Valkyrie aiding our party and knocking her out cold. So yeah, at our next session, I am going to have to explain myself to a VERY pissed off death goddess...

edited 24th Sep '16 6:36:17 PM by MapleSamurai

• Chains of Adorjan is not the solution to all my problems.
  • Adorjan will like me if I summon the Silent Wind to kill demons.
  • This is a terrible idea.