Web Video: The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon
A parody trailer, The Horribly Slow Murderer With the Extremely Inefficient Weapon pokes fun at the horror genre, particularly the so-called "Torture Porn" movies like Saw and Hostel which focus on, well, see the title. It stars Paul Clemens as a man who is suddenly attacked by a supernatural being (Brian Rohan) for a (possibly imagined) slight against the Powers That Be. This attack is made with a normal spoon, the bowl struck sharply against the target's body, and is seldom ceased. The victim is sent spiraling past the brink of insanity from the constant flogging, and resorts to continually, and comedically, extreme lengths to get rid of his tormentor, all ending in failure, and in some cases even backfiring immensely.After the immense success of the original parody trailer, The Horribly Slow Murderer With the Extremely Inefficient Weapon (abbreviated HSMWEIW) has become a YouTube series, including an "Ask Jack" featuring an interview with the victim, an interactive adventure which cannot be won, and a new mini-series called "Ginosaji Vs. Ginosaji".
Bilingual Bonus: The victim in the story is Jack Cucchiaio. The murderer is called the Ginosaji. "Cucchiaio" and "Gin no saji" are Italian and Japanese, respectively, for "spoon" and "silver spoon".
Black Blood: The Ginosaji gets stabbed in the throat by a knife and there's black blood on the blade.
Breaking the Fourth Wall: At the end of the Kick Him in the Crotch interactive video, Jack's vomit repeatedly covers up the superimposed Try Again image. The narrator replaces the graphic each time, only for it to get covered in vomit again.
Cerebus Syndrome: By Ginosaji vs. Ginosaji, Jack's situation is so pitiful that it's becoming hard to find it funny, culminating in him being dragged an indeterminate amount of miles by a bus(while still being hit with a spoon) and then suffocated(while still being hit with a spoon) to the point that he hallucinates about a "Happy place," only to wake up in a full body cast(while still being hit with a spoon.) He eventually attempts to kill himself by jumping off a building.. which still fails. It's hard not to feel incredibly sorry for him, even though his plight is Played for Laughs.
Cherry Tapping: It's hard to imagine a less effective and more humiliating way to kill somebody.
Especially cruel since the Ginosaji actually prevents Jack from killing himself at different points in the trailer. Not only will the killer eventually kill Jack, he won't allow him any opportunity to cheat the Ginosaji of delivering the death blow.
Groin Attack: Inverted, as the Ginosaji throws the spoon at Jack, armed with a buzzsaw... and Jack winds up making him cutting his testes off.
In "Save Jack: The Interactive Adventure" if the "Wear Protective Clothing" option is picked, the Ginosaji hits Jack in the groin before he can put on his cup. If the "Kick him in the Crotch" option is picked, it backfires horribly.
Hoist by His Own Petard: Hilariously averted in the follow-up video Spoon vs Spoon, in which Jack decides to attack the Ginosaji with its own weapon: a spoon. The Ginosaji merely knocks it out of his hand, picks it up and starts beating him up with both spoons.
At the end of the original film, the spoon breaks, but the Ginosaji has a dozen more under his coat.
In "Save Jack: The Interactive Adventure", picking the Giant Magnet option will lead to this. The magnet actually works and stops the Ginosaji from using his spoons until he pulls out a wooden spoon. To Jack's dismay, being beaten with a big wooden spoon is even more painful than being hit with a small metal one.note Arguably, though, it's the best possible ending, since it at least gives Jack a moment of hope and a break from the spoon. He even kisses the magnet after realizing that it temporarily stops the Ginosaji.
Jack arms himself with all types of guns to beat the spoon-wielding Ginosaji. The Ginosaji wins anyway.
Another scene that would qualify is that when the Ginosaji's spoon finally breaks, he backs off for a moment, then ominously opens his hoodie to reveal that his shirt has a dozen more spoons hanging from it. Word of God confirms that the Ginosaji has an infinite number of spoons hanging from it.
Once is Not Enough: Jack shot the Ginosaji down. The Ginosaji simply continued to hit Jack's hand with a spoon.
Out of the Inferno: The Ginosaji does this after Jack tried to blow him up with a ton of TNT.
Overly Long Gag: The Ginosaji will hit you with a spoon again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again... Well, you get the picture.
The Interactive Adventure also becomes this if you don't make a choice.
Police Are Useless: Somewhat justified, as the movie suggests Jack is never able to get any solid enough evidence for police assistance
What the Hell, Player?: If no choice is selected during "Save Jack: The Interactive Adventure", the narrator and Jack call out the viewers on enjoying Jack's torment when all they have to do to help him is to push a button. Not that it matters, since Failure Is the Only Option.
The Worm That Walks: What the Ginosaji seems to be, if Kick Him In The Crotch is anything to go by.