Paris. July 24, 1914. The Orient Express sits in the Gare de l'Est, bound for Strasbourg, Munich, Vienna, Budapest, Belgrade, and Constantinople. Gendarmes look out from a balcony as an announcer warns of the train's imminent departure. A worried American looks out the door of the train car as it begins to pull out of the station. With a look of disappointment, he returns to the car.As the train speeds through a French field, a motorcycle pulls alongside it in its travel. Two people have squeezed onto its frame. The passenger stands up on the motorcycle. Grasping at the rails, he makes a leap across to the door of the train, as the motorbike's driver pulls off her cap to reveal her long, flowing red hair. You are Robert Cath, wanted all across Europe. You have just boarded the Last Express.The Last Express was a 1997 Adventure Game by Smoking Car Productions, set on the Orient Express at the eve of World War One. Lovingly written and put together, it was the unfortunate victim of a Diabolus ex Machina involving its distributor. Br°derbund Software's entire marketing department quit just weeks before the game was to be released, which resulted in absolutely no advertising for it. While critically acclaimed, it was one of the biggest flops in gaming history.One of the creators (Jordan Mechner) edited all the significant events together into a movie, which can be watched at his site. The game itself has been rereleased as a Digital Download Collector's Edition. It is also available on GOG.com, Steam, iOS, and Android.
Averted for everyone else. All characters other than the aforementioned eunuch speak their native languages perfectly.
All There in the Manual - The story works just fine if you don't check, but the official web site (mirror) and the official strategy guide have a bit of background on the characters. Playing the game without these just dips you in headfirst.
Badass Bookworm - Robert Cath; medical doctor, speaks at least four languages, currently pursuing an interest in classical Byzantine literature... and throws a hell of a punch.
Batman Gambit - Schmidt's arms deal was arranged only so it could be thwarted by Anna and give the Austrians and Germans an excuse to go to war with Serbia. It fails if either Anna dies, Schmidt cancels the deal, or Cath pushes the train on to Constantinople.
Big "NO!" - When you blow the whistle at the end, Kronos loses it.
Bilingual Bonus - Although French, German and Russian dialogue has subtitles, there are none for Serbo-Croatian or Arabic, neither of which Cath knows.
Also, although Cath can speak Russian, he apparently cannot read Cyrillic script and needs one of the Russian-speakers to translate the fairytale for him.
Blood Spattered Innocents: Cath and Tatiana. In the first case Cath is innocent in the legal sense; though he must pick up and move Tyler's body, staining his jacket with blood, he did not kill Tyler. In the second case Tatiana is innocent in every sense, wearing a bloody hand-print from a dying man for days if not weeks, which does not bode well for her sanity.
Bluffing the Murderer: Done by George Abbott. He knows Cath is the wanted American and Alexei is an anarchist, but he's not sure which person is the bigger threat. If you talk with him he casually mentions and notices many suspicious details about Cath, and he talks to Alexei later in a manner that offends his anarchist sensibilities, confirming both his suspicions when they quickly excuse themselves from the conversation.
But Now I Must Go - Just after Anna and Cath save each other and there is a bit of romance, Anna unfortunately has to leave the train. The game is scripted so that it will always arrive just after the fight sequence.
Cassandra Truth - Nobody believes Franšois when he says he saw a body being thrown out the window. Even though that's exactly what you did.
Cath: Sure, that's Harvard's motto. Or is it the post office...?
The Dev Team Thinks of Everything: At one point, Cath must steal the Firebird egg for Kronos, while also stealing a briefcase full of money from Kronos to show to August Schmidt. While you can lose the spoilered item, have it stolen back, give it to Kronos, or never find it at all, the game takes into account whether or not you also stole the briefcase if Kronos gets the item, and reacts accordingly. What makes this more impressive is that Kronos getting his hands on the item results in a Nonstandard Game Over, meaning they thought of all of this for a path that leads to a bad ending.
Also, meeting August Schmidt for the first time. Granted, you have to go out of your way to avoid him, but eventually, you'll have no choice but to talk to him, making part of the deal with him about his merchandise.
Downer Ending - WWI begins, Cath doesn't get the girl, Tatiana blows herself up, and the explanation of Tyler's death leaves something to be desired. The other ending hints at a sequel, but the player dies just afterwards. Not to mention, a good portion of the cast ends up dead.
Duel Boss: All of the games fight scenes are one-on-one, Cath vs. someone else. Notably, Cath is unarmed in all but the last of these fights, and the weapon he uses there is only obtained from the previous boss after Cath throws the guy off the top of the train.
Egg MacGuffin: Tyler Whitney got mixed up in a deal where he planned to sell a golden, jeweled egg called the Firebird for money and then using that money to give weapons to terrorists. Unfortunately, that egg was stolen around the time he was murdered. Since you are impersonating Tyler, you need to find the egg and make the two deals go through in order to prevent Tyler's creditors from dishing out consequences. And as it turns out the egg, which can turn into a mechanical bird, is what killed Tyler, answering the big question of the game.
Empty Room Psych - Some of the passenger compartments have (at times) nothing important or plot related in them, but you'll be so happy you managed to sneak past the conductors, you'll look everywhere before leaving.
Late to the Tragedy: The game quickly becomes this both in-game and out as the player is given little introduction to the protagonist (if you didn't think to check the web site or the official strategy guide, the entirety of his backstory and motivations must be puzzled out through dialogue and in-game documents). Cath himself has practically no information about what he agreed to help Tyler accomplish, and spends the first half of the game bluffing that he does.
Multiple Endings: Mostly dying or being arrested, but the player can also escape the train with a lot of money but a lot of unanswered questions. Or, set off an international incident (but you get a medal for it).
Mysterious Past: Just why does Robert want to go to Constantinople so badly, anyway? (The answer: he's a wanted man in more or less the entire Western world, and Tyler offered him a ticket out. Also, it's on the way to Jerusalem.)
Cath says the whole freedom-fighting and arms-dealing things were more Tyler's areas, but he was allegedly hanging out with the Irish independence movement just before the game begins. It's also not clear where Cath picked up the knowledge of herbal medicine (with Datura stramonium) or what appears to be a hypnotic ability he uses a few times, including on the Firebird itself.
Kronos is also particularly mysterious. His descent and what title he has to be addressed as "his excellency" is unclear, along with how he knows what's really going on in general, including knowing Cath's name and that he's masquerading as Tyler from the outset, or why he wants anything to do with the Firebird.
Noodle Incident: "Still angry about Cuba." Anna does bring it up early on, but Cath deflects it.
Police Are Useless: The Orient Express has to leave the station on time. Even when a body was found near the tracks. Even when every passenger on the train has been located except one.
Somewhat justified in that the train conductors consider them just small-town cops with nothing better to do than harass them with something that can't possibly be their problem. That said, if they do find Cath, they realize he fits the description of a fugitive and arrest him right away.
Press X to Not Die: All the "fights" in the game are basically this, especially the first fight with Vesna, where you can't do anything but dodge until help arrives. Also, the last boss fight, after you've already won, requires you to duck when your opponent does to avoid colliding with the top of a trail tunnel.
Refuge in Audacity: If you want the game to continue beyond Vienna, the correct way to obtain the briefcase is to drop into Kronos's cabin from above during the concert, steal the briefcase, then walk out holding the briefcase in plain view of everyone. The audience is probably too focused on Kronos and Miss Wolff to realize what's going on; Kronos and Kahina know exactly what's going on but are powerless to do anything about it at that time since their concert is part of The Masquerade and they must keep it going.
Scare Chord: Used when Robert Cath discovers the body of his friend, Tyler Whitney.
Those Two Girls: Rebecca and Sophie, who have nothing to do with the plot but love to talk about everything. If the game ends early, you get an excerpt from Rebecca's journal, explaining what happened to that mysteriously handsome man.
Vasquez Always Dies: The only females who die in the game (in the good ending) are also the least feminine. Except Tatiana.
Well-Intentioned Extremist: Alexei is a radical, revolutionary anarchist who tries to blow up the whole train just to kill Count Obelensky, but he always believes what he is doing is for the greater good and truly loves Tatiana.
To a lesser extent, the Serbs. Despite their violent tendencies and takeover of the train, they (or at least Milos) justify it as part of their plan to drive the Austrians out of Bosnia.
Western Terrorists: The Black Hand, Serbian nationalists. Alexei Dolnikov, Russian nihilist/anarchist. Cath himself is a fugitive for at least his involvement with the IRB; though his only crime there was treating their injured - or so George diplomatically concedes. It's not clear if that's what happened or if that would become the "official story" if Cath took his offer to ally himself with British interests; either way, the offer isn't taken.
Whole Plot Reference: To Murder on the Orient Express, naturally. Apart from taking place on the Orient Express and climaxing in the Balkans, several characters are also homages to suspects from the book, such as Count Obelensky (to Princess Dragomiroff).