Recap: Big Finish Doctor Who 027 The One Doctor
Mel: You're really rattled, aren't you?
The Doctor: Yes, because if I didn't save this planet from the evil Skelloids, who is the Doctor that did?
This was the first Big Finish Doctor Who Christmas Episode Panto
, a format which would be repeated with "Bang-Bang-A-Boom!"
The TARDIS has picked up and followed a distress beacon
from the far, far distant future. It's the "vulgar end of Time", according to the Sixth Doctor. A period he rarely travels to, as nearly everything has been discovered, commercialised, used up and cheapened. However, upon arriving at the planet Generios One, Mel and the Doctor find themselves among a massive celebration. Apparently, the world has been saved by the legendary Time Lord the Doctor, and his assistant Sally-Anne! Funny, because the Doctor's never visited the planet before, and doesn't sense the presence of a future incarnation
This fake Doctor turns out to be Con Man
Banto Zame, who engineers aliens threats and extorts planets after he "saves" them. Six confronts him, but they're all immediately interrupted by an actual alien threat asking for three interplanetary MacGuffins
What follows is a delightfully camp
romp as the Doctor and Mel are foced to team up with Banto and Sally-Anne. They take place in the future's version of The Weakest Link
, put together shelves
, and have a chat with a giant jelly monster who's been waiting forever
for his brand new TV to be delivered. In the middle of all that, Sally-Anne dumps Banto and starts fancying the Doctor. He's tremendously annoyed by it until he realises that the alien threat is just a ruse — the alien is not after the MacGuffins
, but after him
. Six smugly tells the alien that Banto is, in fact, the Doctor, and proves that he himself is very definitely not a Time Lord by grabbing Sally-Anne and passionately making out with her. Banto is dragged off, and Six and Mel decide to go rescue him... at some point. Eventually.
"The One Doctor" contains examples of:
- Aerith and Bob: "Every Tom, Dick or Cathl'bob."
- Allergic to Routine: The Doctor dislikes, what he calls, the "Vulgar end of time", where everything's been discovered, and there are no "interesting" wars, and everybody knows everything.
- Alien Invasion
- BBC Quarry: Despite being an audio adventure, the Doctor still manages to end up in one.
- Because I'm Jonesy: Banto's masquerade as the Doctor is going splendidly until the real Doctor shows up.
- Blob Monster
- Big Damn Kiss
- Bigger on the Inside: Subverted for laughs with the STARDIST.
- Bizarre Alien Senses: The Doctor can sense whether or not he has been or will be at a certain place, and usually tries to avoid repeating locations because it makes the hairs on his neck stand on end.
- Breast Expansion: Sally-Anne.
- Casual Kink:
Banto: "They'd have us clasped in iron if they suspected anything."
Sally-Anne: "Doesn't sound too bad if it's with you."
- Chubby Chaser: Sally-Anne. She's with Banto, who's described as "Rotund" by the Doctor, and takes a liking to the Doctor who's described as "Not exactly lithe" by Mel.
Sally-Anne: "Like a big Teddy Bear."
- Comically Missing the Point
Mel: "That voice sounded fishy to me."
Doctor: "What, you mean it's of aquatic origin?"
- Confusing Multiple Negatives: Sally-Anne talks in these.
- Con Man: Banto Zame, along with his assistant Sally-Anne, amasses money by pretending to be The Doctor, and staging alien invasions for him to thwart for a... modest fee. Of course, when a real invasion comes along...
- Conspicuously Light Patch: The Doctor notices a pristine piece of technology in a studio of ruins.
- Covered in Gunge: The Doctor after the Blob Monster spits him out
- Credits Gag: An Overly-Long Gag full of Improv.
- Crowning Moment of Funny: See Special Effects Failure. For added bonus It actually sounds like it's flushing when it teleports.
- Distress Call
- Earth-Shattering Kaboom: The aliens casually blow up the 11th planet of the system.
- Evil Is Hammy: Six, pretending to be the evil overlord of Monopoly.
- Excuse Plot: The plot itself, the Doctor and Mel teaming up with Banto and Sally-Anne to gather a collection of relics to stop an alien invasion, is really just an excuse to send the lot of them to a variety of ridiculous alien planets and situations and argue with each other, poking a lot of good-natured fun at the tropes of Doctor Who while they're at it.
- Expy: The Assemblers talk like the Daleks.
- Figure It Out Yourself: The Doctor lets Sally-Anne piece together things by herself. Causing a long-lasting Beat.
- Ham-to-Ham Combat / World of Ham: Regular 6th Doctor, the not at all unhammy Colin Baker, goes head-to-head with "Doctor" impersonator Banto Zame, as played by colossal ham Christopher Biggins!
- Have We Met Yet?: The Doctor hasn't met the aliens yet. But he's going to annoy them to great lengths as retaliation for this adventure.
- Heroic Sacrifice: Banto Zame. Completely unintentional.
- Hidden Track: An additional Christmas scene set in the TARDIS appears after a lengthy pause on the last track.
- IKEA Robotics
- It Is Pronounced Tro PAY: "According to the scanner we're at Geneerios 1.."
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Sally-Anne explains that people prefer to see the monsters, rather than just hear about them.
- Lighter and Softer: The episode starts off with Six and Mel playing Monopoly, and Six pretending to be an evil Monopoly overlord. He then complains that his adventures are usually so serious and that he'd like to just be melodramatic for once. Cue the silliest episode in Doctor Who history.
- Logic Bomb: Mentos, an AI that automatically answers any question, factual or personal, posed to it through the use of time-travelling research droids, easily overcomes the toughest questions the Doctor can throw at it. Sally-Anne, in a moment of despair, absent mindedly asks, "What don't you know?"
- Lovable Coward: Banto turns into one, as the story progresses. At first.
- Male Gaze: Sally-Anne calls Banto out on this.
- Meaningful Name: Banto
- Mind Rape
- Monster Protection Racket: This is Banto's usual racket.
- Most Wonderful Sound: Banto's "STARDIS", when starting up sounds a lot like the TARDIS... except it is in the form of a Portaloo. So, guess what sound it makes?
- Doubles as an Overly-Long Gag, as the STARDIS takes considerably longer to take off than the TARDIS.
- Mundane Made Awesome: The Shelves of Infinity exist in multiple dimensions and as one builds them, parts will go missing, extra slots appear and disappear, and the instructions keep removing and adding pages. Pretty much like standard shelves then.
- My Significance Sense Is Tingling:
Assembler 1: "Our suspicion senses are tingling!"
- Mythology Gag: The Doctor says not a single corridor looks the same, lampshading the shows tendency to run up and down them a lot.
- Names to Run Away From Really Fast: Skeloids.
- No Hugging, No Kissing: Played with. At the finale, when The Doctor is trying to show an alien race that he is not their sworn foe, but instead intergalactic conman, Banto Zame...
Doctor: If I was really the Doctor, would I do...THIS? (grabs Sally-Anne into a deep kiss)
Alien: [Absolutely stunned] Noooooo. No. No. No. The Doctor certainly wouldn't do that.
- Older Than They Think: The NuWho 2008 Christmas episode, "The Next Doctor", likewise featured a slightly pompus man claiming to be the Doctor. Unlike here though, that "Doctor" was a genuine case of mistaken identity and is still a real hero, while here, well... Zane's a bit of a git.
- One Born Every Nanosecond
- Outlaw Couple: Banto and Sally-Anne.
- Out-of-Character Alert: The Doctor proves he's not the Doctor by snogging Sally-Anne.
- Perverse Sexual Lust: It takes Sally-Anne quite a while to let go of the Doctor's chest after feeling his heart.
- Played for Laughs: A lot in this adventure.
- Plot Coupon: The three treasures.
- Rant Inducing Slight: The Doctor stops himself from having one when Banto says his design for the STARDIST isn't that far off from the TARDIS.
- Reality Is Unrealistic: Banto thinks the aliens are a projection.
- Rousing Speech: Mel gives one to Banto when it looks like their task of putting together the "Shelves of Infinity" is hopeless — Mel never gives up, not since her and her family had to put on the yearly Christmas pageant for the local pensioners, despite eight feet of snow, blizzard-level winds and blocked roads. They got to that church hall, and put on the show of their lives! Of course, since the weather was so awful, no one had bothered to turn up to watch them.
- Shadow of Impending Doom
- Shoddy Knockoff Product: The STARDIST
- Special Edition Title: Part 3 uses the unused Delaware arrangement of the Doctor Who theme.
- Special Effects Failure: In-Universe. The STARDIST is supposed to look like a police box. It's a porta-loo.
- Swallowed Whole: The Doctor
- Teleporters and Transporters: The STARDIST
- The Weakest Link
- Throw the Dog a Bone: The Doctor complimenting Sally-Anne at the end.
- Title Drop: Both Mel and the Doctor admit at the end that, well, there's only room in this cosmos for the one Doctor...
- Two of Your Earth Minutes: Lampshaded.
- Volleying Insults: Banto and the Doctor... do not get along. The Sixth Doctor's habit of Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness is also lampshaded:
Banto: Sharpened aesthetic sense? Sharpened by what, a dose of mind altering drugs?
Doctor: I warn you, a verbal duel with me would only lead to ignominy for you!
Talking with you is like arguing with a thesaurus!
Doctor: It’s a gigantic body composed almost entirely of super heated gas.
Banto: Oh, rather like you then!
Doctor: If I have to endure another insult...
Banto: Oh here we go, another voyage 'round the English language!
Doctor: Well, I'm sorry Mel — but he started it!
- Why Are We Whispering