Why Are We Whispering

Janitor: (whispering) Shhhhhh! Calm down. I didn't mean to scare you.
J.D.: (whispering) Why are we whispering?
Janitor: (whispering) I wanted to see if you would whisper because I whispered.
J.D.: (whispering) I think I would.

Two characters are discussing something in hushed tones. At one point, the one character says: "Why are we whispering?" and the other one says "I don't know". Otherwise, one character is whispering, and the other one doesn't realize that there is a good reason, and asks in loud tones why. Hilarity Ensues.


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    Audio Play 

  • Corky St. Clair in Waiting for Guffman.
  • Rizzo the Rat in The Muppet Christmas Carol. Gonzo explains it's for dramatic emphasis.
  • In Interstellar, TARS asks Cooper why he's whispering, as the rest of the crew has been placed in suspended animation and can't overhear their conversation.
  • Also in The Muppets' Wizard of Oz:
    Scarecrow: (whispering) You see... (looks round for eavesdroppers) I haven't got a brain.
    Dorothy: (whispering) What?
    Scarecrow: (whispering, but louder) Brain!
    Dorothy: (whispering) Why are we whispering?
    Scarecrow: (whispering) Uh, I can't really answer that, because ... (looks round for eavesdroppers) I haven't got a brain.
  • The Three Stooges short, "Men in Black" (The stooges are hospital doctors, doing surgery.)
    Moe: Why are we whispering?
    Nurse: I don't know why you're whispering, but I lost my voice asking for a raise!
  • Any Questions For Ben:
    Ben: [whispering] We didn't want to wake you.
    Andy: [whispering] Oh. Thanks.
  • The Mutilator: "Why am I whispering? There's absolutely no one on this island but us."

     Live Action TV 
  • Smallville pilot, between Pete Ross and Chloe Sullivan (Chloe sullivan doesn't know why they're whispering and doesn't whisper herself
  • Scrubs Season 2 Episode 21, between JD and Janitor
  • Will and Grace Season 3 Episode 3, between Will and Jack
  • Stargate Atlantis
    Dr. McKay: [whispering] They're scanning for us.
    Dr. Weir: [whispering] Why are you whispering?
    Dr. McKay: [whispering] I don't know, it just seemed like the right thing to do.
  • Roswell Season 1 Episode 2, has a rather large whispering exchange between three characters. Max and Liz are spying on someone, when Kyle, Liz's boyfriend, thinks they are actually making out. He approaches them:
    KYLE: Liz!
    LIZ: Kyle!
    KYLE: Hey, Max.
    MAX: [whispers] Hey, Kyle.
    KYLE: What's going on?
    LIZ: [whispers] Nothing.
    KYLE: Why are you whispering?
    LIZ: [whispers] We’re just, uh, waiting for Michael. We’re gonna go, uh...
    MAX: Bowl.
    KYLE: Why are you whispering?
    LIZ: [whispers] We’re going bowling!
    KYLE: Liz, what were you doing down there?
    LIZ: [whispers] Oh, I dropped my ring.
    KYLE: Why are you whispering?

  • InThe Goon Show episode "The Case of the Vanishing Room", Inspector Seagoon arrives at a house where a murder has been committed. The door is answered by Grytptype, who speaks in a whisper, and Seagoon lowers his voice to match. After they've exchanged half-a-dozen lines, another character shouts at them not to leave the door open.
    Seagoon: Here, why isn't he whispering?
    Grytpype: He hasn't got laryngitis.

  • A variation is used in BIONICLE. Jerbraz and Mazeka have entered a village of De-Matoran. Jerbraz mentions that the locals can probably hear them whispering due to their acute hearing. Mazeka asks why they even bother whispering. Jerbraz replies, "Out of respect"— it turns out that their hearing is so strong that normal noise levels are painful to them.

    Video Games 
  • Bulletstorm: Ends with you accidently blowing up a building, natch.

    Western Animation 
  • This happens in at least one episode of Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels.
    Old hermit: Why are we whispering?!
    Brenda Chance: You started it!
    [Captain Caveman shushes her]
  • Garfield does this in A Garfield Christmas, a monologue variation. "...Why can't they come here where my nice warm bed is? And why...am I whispering?"
  • Happens in the Disney educational film Timon & Pumbaa: Safety Smart Online after Timon & Pumbaa visit a library and then are still whispering after they leave the library.
  • Occurs in The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron when the leader space bandits discusses one of his plans by whispering into their ears. When Travolton asks why he's doing this, Zix responds, "Because it's more dramatic."

Alternative Title(s):

Why Are You Whispering