Why Are We Whispering?

Janitor: (whispering) Shhhhhh! Calm down. I didn't mean to scare you.
J.D.: (whispering) Why are we whispering?
Janitor: (whispering) I wanted to see if you would whisper because I whispered.
J.D.: (whispering) I think I would.

— Scrubs

Two characters are discussing something in hushed tones. At one point, the one character says: "Why are we whispering?" and the other one says "I don't know". Otherwise, one character is whispering, and the other one doesn't realize that there is a good reason, and asks in loud tones why. Hilarity Ensues.

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Examples:

Audio Play

• Big Finish Doctor Who: Happens in "The One Doctor".

Comedy

• In the "Front Lines" sketch on The Yiddish Are Coming! The Yiddish Are Coming! four Israeli army officers whisper to one another about various hazards, the sergeant to the captain to the major to the colonel. Eventually the colonel asks how far they are from the front lines and the sergeant replies "Ten miles."
  Colonel: Ten miles? Then why are we whispering?
  Major: Why are we whispering?
  Captain: Why are we whispering?
  Sergeant: I don't know about you boys, but I've got laryngitis.

Comic Books

• Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW) combines this trope with Who's on First? when they ask Whisper her name.
  Whisper: (whispering) Whisper.
  Sonic: (normal tone) Cool.
  Silver: (whispering) Okay. But... why?
  Sonic: No, genius. Whisper is her name.

Fanfiction

• In Foundations Romilda's four-year-old son climbs into Draco's lap.
  Draco: (whispering) Amazing, isn't it. I'm holding a person who has never lived through a war. Who's never been alive while the Dark Lord has been alive.
  Harry: (whispering) Yes. Why are we whispering?
  Draco: (whispering) Mostly so that he doesn't hear me and ask who the Dark Lord is.

Film — Live-Action

• Any Questions for Ben?:
  Ben: [whispering] We didn't want to wake you.
  Andy: [whispering] Oh. Thanks.
• In Interstellar, TARS asks Cooper why he's whispering, as the rest of the crew has been placed in suspended animation and can't overhear their conversation.
• Rizzo the Rat in The Muppet Christmas Carol. Gonzo explains it's for dramatic emphasis.
• Also in The Muppets' Wizard of Oz:
  Scarecrow: I'm not good at anything, because... (looks round for eavesdroppers) (whispering) I don't have a brain.
  Dorothy: (whispering) You don't have a brain?
  Scarecrow: (whispering) Right!
  Dorothy: (whispering) Why are we whispering?
  Scarecrow: (whispering) Uh, well, I can't really answer that, because ... (looks round for eavesdroppers) I don't have a brain.
• The Mutilator: "Why am I whispering? There's absolutely no one on this island but us."
• In Siren (2010), Ken, Rachel and Marco have a whispered conversation about Ken's plan to bury the dead sailor on the island and pretend they were never there. Marco asks why they are whispering, as it is only them and the dead sailor on the boat.
• The Three Stooges short, "Men in Black" (The stooges are hospital doctors, doing surgery.)
  Moe: Why are we whispering?
  Nurse: I don't know why you're whispering, but I lost my voice asking for a raise!
• Corky St. Clair in Waiting for Guffman.

Jokes

• Two soldiers are in a trench.
  Soldier 1: (whispering) How far way is the enemy?
  Soldier 2: (whispering) Ten miles.
  Soldier 1: They why are you whispering?!
  Soldier 2: (whispering) I've got a sore throat.

Live-Action TV

• Roswell Season 1 Episode 2, has a rather lon whispering exchange between three characters. Max and Liz are spying on someone, when Kyle, Liz's boyfriend, thinks they are actually making out. He approaches them:
  KYLE: Liz!
  LIZ: Kyle!
  KYLE: Hey, Max.
  MAX: [whispers] Hey, Kyle.
  KYLE: What's going on?
  LIZ: [whispers] Nothing.
  KYLE: Why are you whispering?
  LIZ: [whispers] We’re just, uh, waiting for Michael. We’re gonna go, uh...
  MAX: Bowl.
  KYLE: Why are you whispering?
  LIZ: [whispers] We’re going bowling!
  KYLE: Liz, what were you doing down there?
  LIZ: [whispers] Oh, I dropped my ring.
  KYLE: Why are you whispering?
• Scrubs Season 2 Episode 21, between JD and Janitor.
• Smallville pilot, between Pete Ross and Chloe Sullivan (Chloe doesn't know why they're whispering and doesn't whisper herself).
• Stargate Atlantis
  Dr. McKay: [whispering] They're scanning for us.
  Dr. Weir: [whispering] Why are you whispering?
  Dr. McKay: [whispering] I don't know, it just seemed like the right thing to do.
• Will & Grace Season 3 Episode 3, between Will and Jack

Radio

• InThe Goon Show episode "The Case of the Vanishing Room", Inspector Seagoon arrives at a house where a murder has been committed. The door is answered by Grytptype, who speaks in a whisper, and Seagoon lowers his voice to match. After they've exchanged half-a-dozen lines, another character shouts at them not to leave the door open.
  Seagoon: Here, why isn't he whispering?
  Grytpype: He hasn't got laryngitis.

Toys

• A variation is used in BIONICLE. Jerbraz and Mazeka have entered a village of De-Matoran. Jerbraz mentions that the locals can probably hear them whispering due to their acute hearing. Mazeka asks why they even bother whispering. Jerbraz replies, "Out of respect"— it turns out that their hearing is so strong that normal noise levels are painful to them.

Video Games

• Bulletstorm: Ends with you accidentally blowing up a building, natch.
• In Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, when Galen sees Juno for the first time, he does a Double Take, then pulls PROXY aside:

  Galen: PROXY!

  PROXY: Yes? Why are we whispering?

  Galen: Shhhh! Who is that?

• WatchDogs2: Josh did this in a urinal when talking to Marcus. at the fort where the voting Machines needs to destroy.

Web Original

• Red vs. Blue has this exchange between Church and Tucker, when peeking out from behind a rock to see if the Reds and their Warthog-mounted chaingun were still around:
  Church: (whispering) Tucker, I think they're gone.
  Tucker: (normal volume) Dude, why are you whispering?
  Church: (still whispering) Umm... I don't know.

Western Animation

• Occurs in The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius when the leader space bandits discusses one of his plans by whispering into their ears. When Travolton asks why he's doing this, Zix responds, "Because it's more dramatic."
• This happens in at least one episode of Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels.
  Old hermit: Why are we whispering?!
  Brenda Chance: You started it!
  [Captain Caveman shushes her]
• In "Daniel Learns About Lizards" from Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, Mom Tiger finds Daniel Tiger and Prince Wednesday observing a lizard and whispering and asks this. They explain that it's because they don't want to scare the lizard.
• Garfield does this in A Garfield Christmas, a monologue variation. "...Why can't they come here where my nice warm bed is? And why...am I whispering?"
• In "Basketberry Blues" from Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends, Dragon and Squirt pull a trick to make Spinner think that he's good at basketberry by tying low-visibility spider silk around the basketberry and having Spinner take off his glasses so that he can't see that it's rigged so that it always goes in the basket. He thinks he's so good that he'll try out for the basketberry team. That evening, the rest of the kids discuss that they can't let him do this in hushed voices. Bounce, however, isn't in on the trick and asks why Spinner shouldn't try out when he's really good, then asks "Why are we whispering?" Dragon explains in a normal voice, unfortunately, right as he's in the process of doing so, Spinner shows up.
• In "Enemy Anemones" from The Octonauts, Captain Barnacles delivers one of these after Kwazii states It's Quiet… Too Quiet in whispered form.
• Happens in the Disney educational film Timon & Pumbaa: Safety Smart Online after Timon & Pumbaa visit a library and then are still whispering after they leave the library.

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