This might be the first time in Star Wars
that we've seen a railing. Mike:
Although Carrie Fisher
did lots of rails. (rimshot)
So, you know, the lesson here is you should store your rocket fuel in good, sturdy containers. Did you really need us to tell you that?
Unlike other teams, the Bills don't simply hurt you emotionally. You really do get maimed or killed if you enter the stadium. They should have a yellow warning sign in the concourse that says DANGER: FALLING DRUNK PEOPLE.
Remember in the wonderful Star Trek
parody Galaxy Quest
when Jason and Gwen are exploring the ship and they come across a massive set of chomper
s in the heart of the craft that serve absolutely no purpose whatsoever but to create some false jeopardy? Doctor Who
has flirted with the idea before (the giant fans in The End of World
might have served a purpose…but boy they were ridicuously giant!) but never quite as obviously as the flagpoles that come shooting out of the wall in this story for no sensible purpose. Things were getting a little slow so it feels like they are there to toss another obstacle in the way, albeit one that has been given no thought as to its purpose.
The epic steel factory fight is filled with deadly stunts. Jackie is attacked by glowing red-hot steel poles. Giant metal barrels are dropped centimeters from his dong, which may be confusing since that means 'Smith' in China. And then Jackie gets kicked onto a holy-shit-real pit of hot coals... Luckily, safety rails are for capitalists, so he only had to make a 10-inch jump to get to non-flaming land.
Obi-Wan seeks Yoda's help in finding Kamino 'cause it ain't in the records. He interrupts Yoda teachin' a class... it's like a crowded public school or somethin'. All the kids are wearing these stupid helmets and deflecting lasers shot at them by from a ball that Luke used in the original Star Wars
... But, like, they could easily cut one another
, right? I mean, why aren't you doing this in a really large gym where everyone can spread out? And aren't they a little young to be handling lightsabers
? I mean, look how clumsy the kids are holding them, when Yoda's standing like two feet away!
"I've worked among the spinners, I've breathed in the oily smoke
I've shovelled up the gypsum and it nigh-on makes you choke
I've stood knee-deep in cyanide, gone sick with a caustic burn
Been working rough and seen enough to make your stomach turn"
—"The Chemical Worker's Song", Ron Angel
Attention, maintenance and safety crews: you are fired. Before leaving, please make your workplace as unsafe as possible. With any luck, the trespasser will fall to his death... or be burned alive by flame jets... or crushed by giant pistons. Thank you for your understanding.
My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
How come there are so many narrow bridges with no guard rails? (and variations)
Ah, a radioactive spill. Part of me wants to believe we're not this
criminally incompetent, but I know better.
I don't know that I want to be going into the bowels of the earth, but then I don't see an emergency exit
Why is this thing shooting fire every couple of seconds? What is this thing even ‘sposed to do?! The fire doesn’t go
anywhere. It’s just here to hurt people! God dammit
The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance, the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it.
Why is so much of our science dangerous? I say why not marry safe science if you love it so much? In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you in the butt on the way out because you are fired!
To ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled. The Enrichment Center respects your right to have questions or concerns about this policy.
: So anyway, I says "Forget the dental plan, forget sick leave, I just want a railing! You know? One railing! Right here!" Imperial #2
: I know. I've almost fallen over that thing so many times.
We seem to be losing pressure on Level 17. Please hold your breath against the harsh vacuum of space until you pass out from oxygen starvation. After that, you won't care. Enjoy the ride!
Sir Giant Pink Lizard, you're under arrest! As the owner of this boss-level castle, it's your obligation to make sure all platforms are fully accessible to disabled people!
— You Only Live Once
Not even a guard rail. I bet the Broker's agents love patrolling the hull. Liara:
At least the view is nice.
: The first one is on a geth ship while the second is inside a lab in the middle of a lava river... Shepard
: You built a lab in the middle of a lava river? Dr. Archer
: We thought, "what could possibly go wrong"?
"How come they never put safety rails around these bottomless pits?"
"Health & Safety studies showed that more people were injured leaping over the rails waving light sabers."
— Plan 7 of 9 from Outer Space
I'm gonna need a tetanus shot just looking at all this.