"In 1979 a sixteen year old kid named James Dallas Egbert III disappeared into the Michigan State University steam tunnels. His folks hired bonehead P.I. William Dear to investigate, who blabbed his theory to the press that James got lost in the tunnels while roleplaying... He eventually turned himself in after fleeing to New Orleans and failing to kill himself again with cyanide (good save vs. poison, this kid), and blew his own head off a year later (could have used more hit points, though)."
(In response to a Q&A session from a man who survived the Virginia Tech shootings)
I HAVE A COUPLE QUESTIONS FOR YOU BUT, SINCE YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH, I WAS NICE AND INCLUDED THE ANSWERS TOO.
Q: WHAT'S VIRGINIA TECH'S FAVORITE WAY OF CONSUMING ALCOHOL?
Q: WHAT DOES ANTARCTICA AND VIRGINIA TECH HAVE IN COMMON?
A: THEY'RE BOTH -32
(Later, after the list of victims was posted.)
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
"I may disapprove of a movie for going too far, and yet have a sneaky regard for a movie that goes much, much farther than merely too far."
You cannot spell "Slaughter" without "Laughter"!
Chandler: I was over the line...
Joey: Over the line? You're so far past the line, you can't even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
"This is so offensive... that it's not really offensive anymore!"
I shall perform the aforementioned vice
Until Hell freezes over, then I'll do it on ice.
—Al Duvall, Labias and Genitalmen
Rayne: I crossed the line there, didn't I?
Noel: You told the line to go fuck itself. Then got its mom pregnant. Then aborted the resulting baby.
"At first it was funny, then it just got sad, and then it was funny again..."
—Ellis, Left 4 Dead 2
History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.
— Karl Marx
Dara: There is a line in the sand, right, and... you can't even see the line in the sand! You're actually out of sand, like, into tropical tundra regions.
— Mock the Week, regarding Frankie Boyle
"It was shocking, outrageous, insulting... And I loved every minute of it!"
— Review of Springtime for Hitler
I like to think that I'm a patient, tolerant woman and there's no line you could cross to make me stop loving you. But last night you didn't just cross that line, you threw up on it!
— Marge Simpson, on Homer's drunken antics at a party
Davan: Y'know, Jason, there's a fine line between parody and basically wearing a sign that says, "please lynch me".
Jason: And it's our job to spread our posterior cheeks and empty our bowels upon that line - in a literary sense, of course. Now, we need a dance number. How's this for a song - "God Wants More Animal Testing"?
"Sacred cows make the best hamburger."
"So then my colon is lying right on my chest. I wake up in the middle of the surgery; I accidentally swallow half of it! 'How did that happen?' I'm wondering. Well then all of a sudden, that's when the laxative hits! So I'm LYING there, wondering 'how the heck am I gonna get out of this?'" [Ryan drags him offstage]
— Colin Mocherie, during "Scenes From a Hat" on Whose Line Is It Anyway?. The scene is "Topics of Discussion That Always Ruin a Dinner Party"
George: Carmen, you're sixteen! How can you be pregnant!?
Benny: Whoa, deja vu! I remember having this same fight with my dad except he chased me through the neighborhood with a machete. Back then, they let you be parents.
—The George Lopez Show, "George Gets a Pain in the Ash"