Quotes: Crosses the Line Twice

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
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    fiction 
I shall perform the aforementioned vice
Until Hell freezes over, then I'll do it on ice.
Al Duvall, Labias and Genitalmen

It was shocking, outrageous, insulting... And I loved every minute of it!
— Review of Springtime for Hitler

Chandler: I was over the line...
Joey: Over the line? You're so far past the line, you can't even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Friends

This is so offensive... that it's not really offensive anymore!
Marzipan, Homestar Runner regarding her halloween "costume"

Rayne: I crossed the line there, didn't I?
Noel: You told the line to go fuck itself. Then got its mom pregnant. Then aborted the resulting baby.

At first it was funny, then it just got sad, and then it was funny again...
Ellis, Left 4 Dead 2

I like to think that I'm a patient, tolerant woman and there's no line you could cross to make me stop loving you. But last night you didn't just cross that line, you threw up on it!
Marge Simpson, on Homer's drunken antics at a party

(After getting zapped with heat vision) Hey, that's not funny!
(Wanda then gets zapped)
Now it's funny!
Cosmo, ''The Fairly Oddparents"

Davan: Y'know, Jason, there's a fine line between parody and basically wearing a sign that says, "please lynch me".
Jason: And it's our job to spread our posterior cheeks and empty our bowels upon that line - in a literary sense, of course. Now, we need a dance number. How's this for a song - "God Wants More Animal Testing"?

Edea: L-let's get out of here! I've had it with this creepy ghost ship!
Ringabel: I agree. There's no women here, either.
Edea: Your womanizing is so far beyond appalling that it's almost impressive.

    real life 
The plain working truth is that it is not only good for people to be shocked occasionally, but absolutely necessary to the progress of society that they should be shocked pretty often.
George Bernard Shaw, The Quintessence of Ibsenism

History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.
Karl Marx

I didnít go up and say 'The Pope's a faggot'! [beat] Which is he is, but I didn't say that!
Bill Hicks on being censored

I have always liked to find out (even as a kid) where the line was drawn. Then deliberately step across it. Bringing the audience with me and making them happy that they came.

I may disapprove of a movie for going too far, and yet have a sneaky regard for a movie that goes much, much farther than merely too far.

In his infinite knowledge of how to play babyface, Dennis Rodman said in front of a crowd of 99.9% white guys from South Dakota that once you've had black, you will never go back. The crowd didn't like that.
Dave Meltzer on WCW Monday Nitro, The Wrestling Observer Newsletter

Dara: There is a line in the sand, right, and... you can't even see the line in the sand! You're actually out of sand, like, into tropical tundra regions.

Amy Poehler: In Into the Woods, Cinderella runs from her prince, Rapunzel is thrown from a tower for her prince, and Sleeping Beauty just thought she was getting coffee with Bill Cosby.
(later)
Tina Fey: "I put da pills in da people! Da people did not want da pills in them!"
Poheler: No, Tina, hey. That's not right. (beat) It's more like, "I got da pills in da bathrobe and I put 'em in da people boopity bop hoopity hop hop."
72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards

Yeah, I think it's fair to call that hot sauce PROBLEMATIC. Too soon, "Tears of Hiroshima" people! I don't even want to see their line of Holocaust-inspired pork rubs. "The taste will wipe you out!"
Drew Magary, "Sports Crimes Ranked"

In 1979 a sixteen year old kid named James Dallas Egbert III disappeared into the Michigan State University steam tunnels. His folks hired bonehead P.I. William Dear to investigate, who blabbed his theory to the press that James got lost in the tunnels while roleplaying... He eventually turned himself in after fleeing to New Orleans and failing to kill himself again with cyanide (good save vs. poison, this kid), and blew his own head off a year later (could have used more hit points, though).

Matt: Yeah. Weaponized AIDS. Casablanca had letters of transit and a Czech resistance leader's work against the Nazis, Barb Wire has "retinal lenses" and weapon AIDS.
Chris: And not only that, but it's AIDS that kills you in twelve hours and is codenamed, wait for it, "Red Ribbon." I genuinely hate this, but itís so f**king dumb that I almost love it.
—Chris Sims and Matt Wilson on Barb Wire

(In response to a Q&A session from a man who survived the Virginia Tech shootings)
I HAVE A COUPLE QUESTIONS FOR YOU BUT, SINCE YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH, I WAS NICE AND INCLUDED THE ANSWERS TOO.

Q: WHAT'S VIRGINIA TECH'S FAVORITE WAY OF CONSUMING ALCOHOL?
A: SHOTS
Q: WHAT DOES ANTARCTICA AND VIRGINIA TECH HAVE IN COMMON?
A: THEY'RE BOTH -32
(Later, after the list of victims was posted.)
TL;DR.''

I've developed quite a few guidelines for my work over the years, like "never use a yo-yo simile when you can use a miscarriage fetus dangling forlornly from its umbilical cord."