- When Charming is shown in the first scene and the terrible dinner theatre scene. No one is interested in his performance but the whole crowd cheers when a guy dressed as Shrek appears stage.
- When Donkey starts singing "Cats in the cradle" in an attempt to cheer Shrek up after he learns he is going to be a father. Donkey stops when he sees that Shrek is genuinely freaked out about this and that his attempt isn't helping.
- Fiona and her friends' first attempt at an escape. It's quite a prolonged joke, rather than the genuine escape later, which is more of a Crowning Action Sequence.
- 1: First, Fiona pushes the statue to open a secret passage. Look at where the statue of the Frog King Harold ends up - kissing the statue of the horse's butt.
- 2: Then Prince Charming runs in on Big Bad Wolf, the Three Little Pigs, Gingy, and Pinnochio all sitting there casually eating tea and crumpets together like they're all nice and friendly and absolutely nothing's going on. Contrast this to the fact that you saw Fiona and her friends doing this a few seconds ago.
- 3: Once Captain Hook begins interrogating Gingerbread Man, his life starts flashing before his eyes, and he ends up in a trance.
- 4 Then the complicated scene where Prince Charming goes to Pinocchio and demands he tell him where the princesses have gone because he can't lie. He desperately tries to worm his way out of it with convoluted excuses, until he frustrates the Three Little Pigs so much that one of them simply blurts it out.
- And then when Pinocchio warns Charming that Shrek won't fall for his (Charming's) tricks, his nose grows.
- Prince Charming: (addressing Shrek) "You are about to enter a world of pain with which you are not familia-a-a-a-a-a-r-r-r-r-r-r-r!" (cue a pair of glasses and a pearl string in the audience breaking to pieces)
- Shrek, in less than five sentences, destroying Charming's "moment of triumph": "Well, it can't be any more painful than the lousy performance you're giving. (...) If you don't mind, could you kill me, and then sing? (...) That's actually a very nice leotard. Do they come in men's sizes?"
- The scene where the nerds are laughing at Shrek and one suddenly gets a nosebleed. Just the way his expression changes.
- How Pinocchio gets around Prince Charming's interrogation trap. Even if you hate the movie, you have to agree that scene was hilarious.
Prince Charming: You! You can't lie. So tell me, puppet, where...is...Shrek?Pinocchio: Well, I...I don't know where he's not.Prince Charming: You're telling me you don't know where Shrek is?Pinocchio: It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume that I couldn't exactly not say that it is or isn't almost partially incorrect.Prince Charming: So you do know where he is!Pinocchio: On the contrary, Iím possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that in no way with any amount of uncertainty that I undeniably...Prince Charming: Stop it!Pinocchio: ...do or do not know where he shouldnít probably be, if that indeed wasnít where he isnít. Even if he wasnít at where I knew he was...
- Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome for Pinocchio.
- Everything with Puss and Donkey switching bodies. Although, Puss telling Donkey to be careful with his boots also becomes Heartwarming in Hindsight when you see his movie and learn they were a gift from his adoptive mother.
- Shrek and Artie fighting over the ship's steering wheel, ending with them crashing onto the shore of an island.
Captain: (after the crash) LAND HO!
- After they crash the ship:
- After Shrek and Artie fight, Puss and Donkey urge Shrek to try to relate to Artie. Shrek goes for this by giving a god awful stab at outdated teenage lingo. Artie finally gets fed up, whacks Shrek with a tree branch, and runs away screaming "HELP! I'M BEING KIDNAPPED BY A MONSTER THAT'S TRYING TO RELATE TO ME!"
- Even better: The outdated teen lingo? That was all improvised by Mike Myers!
- When Artie is lecturing the villains he tries to get them to change their ways by saying "maybe the person who's really keeping you from being happy is... you." As he says this he offhandedly gestures to a gnome who's standing nearby. Cue the villains Comically Missing the Point: "It's his fault! Get him!"
- This, in a Black Comedy sense.
(Messenger runs in and ruins a moment between Shrek and Fiona)
Shrek: Well someone better be dying!
(Gilligan Cut to the King and Queen's room)
King: I'm dying.
- Merlin plays the song "That What Friends Are For" to help set the mood for Shrek and Artie's big heart to heart chat.
- Donkey having a sign that reads "I suck-eth" taped to his backside.
- Shrek, Donkey and Puss try to get inside Arthur's school.
Shrek: Uh, we're here for the mascot contest, too.
Guard: This is a costume? (pulls Shrek's face)
Shrek: IIIII worked on it all night long!
Guard: (lets go of his face) Looks pretty real to me.
Puss: If he were real, could I do this? (digs claws into Shrek's leg)
Shrek: AH! Oww!
Donkey: Or this? (bucks Shrek's groin)
Shrek: (pained groan) If it were real, that would have been agonizingly painful!
Donkey: Now, watch this!
Shrek: (restrains Donkey and Puss) That's quite enough, boys!
- Snow White gets the other princesses to assume their positions: she lies down in her coffin pose, Cinderella stares out the window and Sleeping Beauty falls asleep.
Fiona: What are you doing?
Sleeping Beauty: (wakes up) Waiting to be rescued. (goes back to sleep)
- Merlin asks Shrek what he sees in the fire. The smoke forms into a baby carriage which spooks Shrek and makes him blow it away. Then he says in deadpan, "I see a rainbow pony."