Just give him a minute.
Per wiki policy, all spoilers will be left unmarked. You Have Been Warned.- When Harold and Lillian come to Rumpelstiltskin, Fifi hisses at Harold, startling him. And after Rumpelstiltskin tells her to get down, she slowly goes down, staring at him like she’s thinking "I'm watching you".
- "Do the roar."Shrek: Let me set you straight, Butterpants. An ogre only roars when he’s angry. (chuckles a bit) You don’t want to see me angry, do you?
Butterpants: Do it. (licks lollipop)
Shrek: (to himself) Hold it together. Just hold it together.
Butterpants: (to his dad) Hey, he's getting away. Do somethin'. - Rumpelstiltskin's wigs, including his 'business' wig and his 'angry' wig.
- Making it especially funny is that his angry wig might bring to mind Heat Miser.
- Donkey does complicated origami on the contract to show Shrek how to get to Rumpel's escape clause. He winds up creating a phrase that's no help to Shrek.Donkey: "Try Lou's Bliss"! ...Who's Lou?
Shrek: Gimme that! (snatches the contract and begins folding it himself. His face brightens as he reads out the following new phrase) "True Love's Kiss". (gives Donkey a look of happiness)
Donkey: Hey, you're gonna have to take me to dinner first.- This becomes a Brick Joke in the video game adaptation.
- After Shrek finds Fiona, Donkey, who sees her for the first time, is befuddled that the rebellion leader warrior in this timeline is Shrek's wife.Donkey: That's your wife?
Shrek: (nonchalantly) That's my wife.
Donkey: Well, I see who wears the chain mail in your family!
(Shrek gives him a glare) - When Shrek is trying to figure out how to convince Fiona that he's her husband:Donkey: Why don't you just tell her what you told me? You know, that you're her true love, and you came from an alternate universe!
Shrek: Oh, while I'm at it, why don't I tell her that you're married to a fire-breathing dragon and have mutant donkey-dragon babies?
Donkey: (overjoyed) I do?!
Shrek: You saw what happened! She's gonna think I'm crazy!
Donkey: I'm a daddy?!- "Hey, Shrek, do my babies have hooves or talons?"
- "Hey, Shrek! Are my babies cute, or do they make people feel uncomfortable?"
- Yes.
- Shrek explaining to Fiona what had happened to him up until that point.Shrek: And at the birthday party with some pigs and a puppet, the villagers wanted me to sign their pitchforks, and this boy kept saying, "Do the roar, do the roar!". Then I punched the cakes that the pigs ate and the next thing I knew, my donkey fell in your waffle hole! (Beat) Right? Who's with me?
Fiona: Whoa. I guess I must have kicked him harder than I thought.- After he finished explaining himself, you can almost hear the crickets chirping in the background.
- The entire "Shake Your Groove Thing" scene. Shrek dancing with Fiona even as they argue is hilarious.
- Rumpel promises the citizens to bring him Shrek and in exchange, "a deal of a lifetime." Unfortunately, he is met by several villagers bringing in pathetic Shrek imposters.Rumpelstiltskin: Not Shrek! That's not Shrek! Also not Shrek! (passes by Butterpants and Lemke) That's not even an ogre, it's a troll! Nice try, though. (The Three Little Pigs present the Big Bad Wolf wearing a square ogre mask) And that?
Wolf: Roar.
Rumpelstiltskin: That's just sad. (Pinocchio with Geppetto with his face colored green) And what is that supposed to be?
Geppetto: I'm just a frightened old man.
Pinocchio: Don't listen to him! These ogres are crafty!
Rumpelstiltskin: That is your father painted green!
Pinocchio: No, it's Shrek, honest!
(Pinocchio's nose grows so long it pokes Rumpel in the eye)
Rumpelstiltskin: Ow! Take them away! Can no one bring me Shrek?! Where is he? How hard can it be?! I WANT HIM! I WANT HIM! I WANT HIM!- Regarding the above scene, Pinocchio trying to sell out Geppetto. Keep in mind, in the first movie, it was Geppetto trying to sell out Pinocchio.
- Puss in the alternate universe is overweight, lazy and serves as Fiona's pet.Puss: You should not be here, señor.Shrek: Puss? (Puss squeezes out of his house; he's extremely overweight) You've gotta be kidding me!(Puss slowly slides down the scratching post and lands on a large fluffy purple pillow. He wriggles around and sits up.)Puss: Feed me, if you dare!
Shrek: Puss, what happened to you? You got so fa... (Puss gives him a look) fancy!
Puss: Do I know you?
Shrek: Well, where's your hat, where's your belt? (little gasp) Your wee little boots.
Puss: Boots? For a cat? (laughs)
Shrek: But you're Puss in Boots.
Puss: Maybe once. (about to fill his bowl) But that is a name I've outgrown.
Shrek: That's not the only thing you've outgrown.
Puss: Hey! I may have let myself go a little since retirement, but hanging up my sword was the best decision of my life. I have all the cream I can drink and all the mice I can chase. (a mouse appears and drinks his cream) Eh, I'll get him later.
Shrek: Aw, Puss, what have I done to you?! You've gone soft.
Puss: Well, I do get brushed twice a day.- After Fiona had kicked Shrek out when he was about to kiss her goodbye...Puss: Have the years of prim and pampery made me soft?
Fiona: Don't be silly. (pulls out a brush and come) Now, who's a pretty kitty?
Puss: I am. - As he rushes to talk to Shrek about his interaction with Fiona, he's out of breath.Puss: ¡Un momento! Just give me a minute.
- And later, when he argues with Donkey.Donkey: Man, you are a "cat-astrophe"!
Puss: And you are "re-donkey-lous"! - Upon saving Shrek and Fiona, and inadvertently fell down into a river, Puss tries to lick himself clean, but can't due to his girth, so what does he do?
- After Gingy had told Shrek about the Deal of a Lifetime Rumpelstiltskin was offering, Puss eats Gingy before Shrek could get any further information.Puss: Oh. Were you going to eat that?
- At the start of the climax, Donkey gives Puss his cue, and donning his signature attire, he hesitantly descends down the chandelier's rope like how he did in his introduction.
- After Fiona had kicked Shrek out when he was about to kiss her goodbye...
