Funny / Ménage à 3

As with the main page, please, no direct NSFW links on this page.

• The comic's Cast Page lists the characters' sexual orientations; another version appears in the print volumes, and is updated a bit more reliably. A few examples of notes that have appeared there at various times:
  • Gary: "Straight, virgin, single, desperate". Later changed to "Straight, whipped", and then to "Straight, overwhelmed".
  • DiDi: "Bisexuelle (probably)". Later changed to "Not bisexuelle (stop asking)".
  • Zii: "Bi, active"; later, "Bi, Gary-curious".
  • Dillon: "Gay, So gay".
  • Matt: "Bi, kinky, bastard".
  • Lita: "Irrelevant".
  • Sonya: "Totally not a lesbian". Later changed to "Dramasexual".
  • Rob: "May not know what sex is".
  • Eulice: "Too horrific to contemplate".
• Baron Gary wants you to remove your ass from his breakfast.
  • SECONDED.
• Zii eating popcorn while watching Matt and Dillon have sex and then asking if they want some.
• "OH NO! Team Rocket has captured Pikachu!" "Yeah, that happens a lot."
• Zii and DiDi dressed as the Mario Brothers.
  Gary: Wow! This is so much like one of my dreams, it's scary!
  Zii: That is pretty scary.
• Zii and DiDi watching [REC].
  Zii: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH SPANISH PEOPLE!!!
• Montreal Slang for Zii's
• Dave reaches orgasm in negative thirty seconds.
• "Grrr... make love to me, Tralala! Make love to me on top of your passed-out roomie!" This one.
  • Also, well one of them is getting to know you pretty intimately right now.
• Myaoi?
• Someone slide me a phone under the door and then I'll call the cops!
• Gary's nightmare about receiving anal sex from a male version of Zii.
• Zii taking a nude Gary and Dillon's picture, and planning to post it on the fridge.
• Dillon's Naked Apron scene.
• Dillon what have you done to my giant size man thing?! It's all sticky! Yes, this sentence can have an innocent meaning.
• Zii has an interesting response to being spanked . . .
• November 28, 2009. Too NSFW to link, too good to spoil here. It involves Gary and a lesbian sex tape.
• Ahh! Hot thoup! Hot thoup!
• Gary banging his head on the table after being told that Yuki "isn't gay, she just doesn't have sex with men."
• What kind of hostess doesn't eat out her guests?!
• Gary tries to be cool and suave. "I'M YELLING!"
  • Sandra is remarkably like Gary (when sober): WE WON'T EAT THE CANDLES!
• Zii getting back at a troll in the most ironic way possible.
• This. Just this. By the next, a Head Desk is involved.
• "Well, you have sex, right? With people that aren't exactly girl people? L-like no boob guy people?" "You mean men?"
• Poor, poor Kiley.
• Yuki and Gary's reactions to Sonya saying "The only real way to choose between us is to have a contest...a sex contest!"
• Sandra and DiDi finally realizing that they're straight and just have boundary issues (April 30, 2011, NSFW.)
• You're a man who loves large meaty sausages, aren't you? NOOO!!!
• Don't worry Sandra's a big girl who can take care of herself. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ONNNNNNNN!!!
• And then Gary comes out of the bathroom...wearing only a jar of pickles!
• DiDi and Zii arriving home to find Gary in the Troubled Fetal Position.
• Yuki said I was her boyfriend! *pause* then...WHAAAAAAT? That's what I said.
• "Jung! Protect your--" "Nuts?"
• DiDi as Sonya. "And I am Sonya and I am not une lesbienne! Hoo-hoo!"
• Yuki's reaction to banana flambé: "You patriarchal phallocrat! Choke on your oppressive dessert!"
  • Also, "You'll love eating their tacos." "Is that a crack about me being a lesbian?! You're going down, round eye!"
• Yuki's milk boobs comment.
• This is good practice! Gary's chest should feel like yours, right?
• Yuki slapping Kiley with the sausage while saying "No dame desu!" Also, "I will, however, gladly eat this bun!"
• "Thanks to you I eat pussy on a nightly basis. *SMASH* I'm really not a lesbian!"
• mffffffokay.
• Kiley's Big "NO!".
  • I love goats!
• Sandra's Big "WHAT?!" after waking up on a nude beach.
• According to a guest strip, everyone in Montreal has now had sex with everyone else. Scientists are now studying this "boneularity," and have traced it to three people . . .
• Zii being held against DiDi's ample bosom and putting her hands on her chest while stating "I was the last in my class to get boobs!"
• Sonya mentions that she would like to dunk her body in whipped cream. Gary imagines her doing exactly that. When she asks what he is thinking, he replies "Just call me Poppin' Fresh!". The "Hoo-Hoo!" in the end just clinches it.
• This strip.
• Does this mean I had a three-way?
  • The following reply from the forum:
  No, Gary. You were just getting a little head.
• Dillon's response when Amber asks for oral sex? "GyeeeeEEeeEEeee..."
• Gary fainting on Amber's crotch when asking for her autograph.
• Gary just fainted on my crotch. I mean cootch. I mean couch.
• I'm not exactly a nun, you know? I couldn't judge your sex life if I wanted to.
  • Amber: "I, uh, played along, and he did it on me and man, I came sooo hard! I can see why you're rooming with him!" and Zii's reaction.
• This strip has a few. "Probably fantasized he was making out with a Transformer." "BEST. ORGASM. EVER!" Zii to a passed out Gary: "Gary, you bastard! You've been holding out on me!" and Amber "Want me to blindfold him for you?"
• "Did you bone?" "No, at least not in the biblical sense." "Had the strangest dream, about Amber and a giant clam." "Oh, it's not that big is it?" And Gary's facial expression in the last panel when he comes to.
• So you wanna do it then? and Zii's reaction.
• OMIGOD HE'S LIKE ANY OTHER FLING!! HE'S PROBABLY BANGING THREE SORORITY GIRLS RIGHT NOWWW WAAAAAA!
• Why do you always have to be the voice of reason?! Also, ( . ) ( . ) uh oh.
• I'MO KILL HIM.
  • Also, in the second panel, Zii resisting the urge to grope DiDi.
• Zii buying some time in #394.
• This is my brother Gary! We're uh, very close!
• The last panel in this strip.
  • Also the last panel in the movie date strip.
• Yuki's Happy Place.
• Make up your mind, Sonya.
• When Sonya puts on the strap-on, it's actually Gary, not Yuki, who screams "TENTACLE!"
• Kiley: My IQ is smaller than my breast size!
  • Uh, don't cry... I'm sure your IQ's much bigger than your breasts!
• In this strip Yuki suddenly coming out of nowhere to do a Groin Attack on Matt.
  • Anytime Yuki initiates the Groin Attack really.
• "Do you have any idea where Yuki went?" "I've just been following the trail of guys who look like that."
• Kiley's second Big No.
• Kiley's Motor Mouth in the one where she takes Gary's virginity.
• DiDi coming onto Gary in #544, or at least trying to:
  DiDi: Okay then... I suppose I will go take a shower... alone... naked...
  Gary: How... How do you normally take showers?
• Zii stopping DiDi from coming between Gary and Kiley.
• The following between Zii and Gary:
  Zii: Don't be shy. Think of me as a dude.
  Gary: I already do.
• Me too, uh...rubbing my earlobe.
• That was a bad question!
• DiDi's eyes as the week of rest Matt was given is finally ending. Looks like she is possessed.
• DiDi glomps Matt in her crazy need for sex, throwing his back, so they decide to be creative. DiDi decides to throw salad oil on Matt, but accidentally takes Tabasco sauce and starts below the waist... with obvious results, ending with Matt in the shower, stating it burns a lot. In an attempt to make him feel better, she decides to lick it all off, and for a second Matt seems to enjoy it... but then DiDi has to rush for water, because it burns too much.
• The first night after dreaming about Garii, Yuki does not have it easy to sleep, and she meets Gary to look at his drawings. She first allucinates that "Garii" is offering her to sleep with her, but it turns out that Gary is just suggesting she drinks warm milk with honey. She then hallucinates with Garii once more. Her next night, she dreams about a tentacled Garii. She awakes horrified.
  • Come on! I just want to fix your crazy brain! Why won't you call me?
• Zii thinking Erik wants to use a microphone he got her as a present for anal sex.
• DiDi sees Yuki in Gary's room (they are working on her doujin) and imagines that Yuki is holding Gary hostage, she punches Yuki and Gary gives her a "complimentary orgasm". Her Good Angel immediately gives her a Dope Slap.
• DiDi gets naked in front of Gary and Yuki after Yuki asks her to pose for Gary. She ends up using this to get Gary to give her an orgasm. The moment she has Gary touch her (and in front of Yuki, nonetheless) is hilarious, especially Gary's face.
• Also a moment of awesome. In response to Didi telling Yuki that she wants her to break up with Gary because she wants an orgasm from him Yuki simply responds by effortlessly laying the smack down on her and telling her that "Gary. Is. Mine."
  • And now, Yuki has tied DiDi by her ankles and hands (a Call-Back to a moment when DiDi tied Yuki when she thought Yuki was a robber) and starts to beat her bottom with a spatula. "Bad Amazon! Bad!"
  • Zii's WTF face when she sees Yuki smacking DiDi is hilarious.
  • Aaaaand... DiDi seems to enjoy the beating a little too much.
• "Um... you did remember to wash that spatula, right?
• The "fisting" incident. The look on Sonya's face says it all.
• The nth Yuki dream about Gary becoming a woman ends up with Yuki groping DiDi in her dream, thinking she is doing it to Zii and Gary... and DiDi dreams that it is Gary that gropes her. DiDi ends up making waffles, because she feels like celebrating.
  • Made even funnier because it's not Gary who DiDi is dreaming of exactly, but Garrieu, who seems to be a mix if Gary and Matthew, much like Yuki used to daydream of Garii, a mix of Gary and Zii.
• Amber manages to combine Mistaken for Cheating, Mistaken Identity, and My Eyes Are Up Here into one impressive rant directed at (the chest of who she thinks is) Gary's abusive new girlfriend. And to top it off....
  (the real) Yuki: Zii, you need to stop hanging around crazy people.
• Zii finds Sonya in her bed, naked:
  Zii: Sonya?!?
  Sonya: Psst! I'm hiding from Yuki!
  Zii: Where are your clothes?
  Sonya: I'm hiding from those too.
• Zii and Sonya getting vocal about their 'Together Time' which you think will head into Immodest Orgasm territory until Yuki (from the room next door) shows what Immodest really is.
  • And when Yuki says that Gary is better than Zii at polishing her pearl, Zii replies angrily "Like hell, he is!!!" while she shoves Sonya.
• Sonya suggests that Zii eat her out, since Yuki is too busy to care. Zii kicks her out of the house naked with only her discarded clothes covering her.
• The truly awful porno that Amber and Chanelle did. "Come on me if you want to live!"
• ALL OF THEM!
• Dillon is giving Gary a massage, and he ends up rubbing Icy Hot on him. It ends up with Gary running past Amber, naked, yelling "BURNING! BURNING! HOT! HOT! NEED SHOWER NOW!!!!"'.
• Amber gets a bit too Genre Savvy
• Dillon catches Gary and Amber in the shower, with her kneeling in front of him. When Amber asks how he got out of his room, he tells her what everybody was thinking in the above mentioned strip:
  Dillon: Most bedroom doors open from the inside, Amber.
• Yuki's attempts at having sex with Gary while blindfolded (starts here; later strips NSFW)
• I feel like my chest has a weight on it.
• Zii gets two pairs of straight men into a kissing contest.
• Zii realizes that there's nothing holding Didi back from trying to sleep with Gary.
• In Strip #743, we have more of Didi's quest for an orgasm. Peggy's teaching Didi how to scissor with her, and Didi, apparently not feeling it very well, starts taking it way overboard. What really sells it is the face Peggy makes in the last panel.
• From strip #747, Zii's reaction to Didi asking Zii to give her an orgasm is just priceless, especially with how she abruptly shoves aside Sonya.
• Strip #753 (NSFW): Kiley asks Matt whether he still pictures women with men heads. He says it hardly happens anymore. Kiley asks him if it is happening right now. Matt says that, since she has mentioned it, he is seeing her with Gary's head while they are having sex right then. Kiley mentions that a girl does not like to hear that.
• Zii levels with DiDi about how attracted to her she is, even expressing concern about being unchaperoned in the same apartment. So of course....
  SFX: ZzzZzzzzZzzz zz z z z....
  Zii: Don't you die on me now, you stupid cheapjack batteries of crap!!!
• Senna and Gary are in Paris, and she is wondering where they should go first, suggesting famous places like the Louvre Museum or Notre-Dame. Guess where does Gary stop first.
• YOU HAVE LOST CANDLE PRIVILEGES!
• If you took it from me, you'd have to put me in the gr--
• Amber: I'M CLEARLY AN IDIOT!!!
• Zii's face in the last panel.
• Zii invites everyone to her band's rock concert. Nearly all the girls are planning to seduce Gary. Gary is just worried about the ambience.
• After the concert, Didi tries to help Kiley face her insecurities about her breast size by stripping them down to their underwear and telling Kiley to "do what comes naturally." What does Kiley do?
  • Didi finally gets her orgasm, sadly Kiley's hand didn't make it.
• Zii's Bedmate Reveal with Sonya then Yuki at the same time.
• Kiley's ear in #886's first panel.
• #905: Yuki's dramatic, teary-eyed mourning of her lost innocence, followed by Sonya informing her that "that ship sailed a looong time ago" (you can practically hear the Record Needle Scratch) followed by Yuki strangling her.
• Sonia and Yuki showering together in #929
  Yuki: Only a technicality is forcing us close again!
  Sonia: Yeah, this is just to conserve energy!
  Yuki: It only means we love the planet!
  Sonia: Almost as much as I hate you!
  • Sonya and Yuki Bedmate Reveal after Zii has left the room, though topped when Zii goes back to calm everyone down with news about nothing happening only to discover the two fighting and heavily making out as their Belligerent Sexual Tension finally pops.
  • Much later, it turns out that the Sexual Tension was more Belligerent than Sonya at least realized at the time.
• Matt and Peggy run into Didi and Kiley. Kiley can't keep her pronouns straight.
• Zii asks Dillon for help.
• Didi outwits Kiley.
• #966: Gary said he'd get Zii a guitar, so she starts looking through a guitar catalogue. He looks at her picks and is blown away by the prices.
  Gary: H-how about this one? It's really cute! (thinking) And affordable!
  Zii: Gary… That's a ukelele.
• Amber tries to help Zii learn the swirly-go-round.
  Amber: It needs to be 20% swirlier.

  Amber: Try doing the alphabet in reverse, upside down.
  Zii: Are you just making this up?

  Junghan: You realize you're still at work, right?
  Zii: What? I told you I was eating out on my break, and you were fine with it!
• This very conversation between Sonya and Didi.
  Sonya: I'm boooooooooored! I'm gonna play with your boobs, kay?
  Didi: Mais Arrete!
  Sonya: But there's nothing to dooooooooooo!
• While Sonya and Yuki are hashing out the details of their having sex, Yuki asks if she can call Sonya "Onee-sama" ("Big Sister"), which creeps Sonya out a bit. Yuki then asks how it's any different from Americans calling men "Daddy" during sex.
  Sonya: Nonono, totally different context. We say that because— ...Why do we say that?
  Yuki: Because your culture is perverse.
  Sonya: What is wrong with us?
  Yuki: Now come on, Onee-sama, come to Daddy.
  • After that happens, Sonya just decides to do a striptease for her to get her aroused, which was working great until Yuki saw that she was wearing the same pair of panties that she had at home. So they're at another standstill, and Yuki wants Sonya to admit that she isn't as good at seduction as she is. Sonya goes into her dresser and puts on a pair of cat ears, which is already more than enough for Yuki to get all hot and bothered.
• Before the foursome arranged by Matt at his apartment can start, Peggy reveals that, in a moment of anticipatory confusion, she forgot to put a dress on. Kiley helpfully takes her off to find some sexy lingerie from Matt's wardrobe. Matt announces that this was left behind by his old boyfriend; Gary confirms the likeliness of this. It's a joke built on five different, carefully constructed bits of characterization...
• Strip #1155 (probably NSFW): "Is that Gary imagining us? Tell him I said hi!"
• Strip #1193's lampshading of the Love Dodecahedron.
  Kiley: I think it's far past time you two expressed your true feelings for one another.
  Sonya & Yuki: Who? Her?
  Kiley: Yes! Let go of all your anger and finally make sweet tender love to one another.
  Sonya & Yuki: Seriously? With her?!
  Kiley: No! With the other two girls you hatefuck! Yes, with each other! You're not hatefucking two other girls, right? It's hard to keep track.
• Yuki tries to get Matt to sleep with her but he knows about her thing with penises and refuses. Enough prodding from her makes it seem like he relents and he says "Well, there is one thing I haven't done with a girl before..." and he leads her out his back door before locking it and saying "Thanks, that was great." while she stands outside with a bewildered look on her face.
• From #1238:
  Roxie: The last thing we need around here is a wrestler with a giant ego!
  Brandy: [enters] What up, kids? The champ. Is. Here.
  Roxie: Fine. Two wrestlers with giant egos.
• DiDi pre-empts trying to get Gary to do the Swirly-Go-Round on her by saying that he needs to pay back the favor of her having posed for Gary's art earlier in the comic. Not only does Gary think that paying back the favor would involve DiDi drawing him instead, but in the next (possibly NSFW) strip it's shown that she actually did start making a drawing of him before resuming with seducing him.
• Sonya angrily quits Zii and the Troublemakers and throws Lita at... Gary. And then tells Gary to pass the message on to Zii, preferably in the same tone of voice, and including the cat-throwing.
• Tracy and James make Gary uncomfortable sexually and he leaves. They find the display so attractive they break up and separately ask Gary out on a date the next morning at work. But only after they've had "angry break-up sex."
  Tracy: That was hot.
• When Gary and Zii discuss his teaching her the "swirly-go-'round" technique via kiss, she assures him that the "Little man in the canoe is sound asleep" because of her recent breakups. One kiss later...
  Little Man in the Pink Canoe: Wow! What a nap! So much energy to burn now!
• Revealing that Peggy's old college girlfriend now works as a contract assassin and she gets caught up in a shoot-out during their date. It comes right out of nowhere but has some effective Black Comedy that Crosses the Line Twice.

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