- The variant on the "missed it by that much" catchphrase that involves a villain jumping out the window with something waiting to break his fall below. (happens at least twice)
- Max takes a lie pill when he wasn't supposed to in "The Groovy Guru" episode. He proceeds to get into a cab and says, among other things, that he would very much like a punch on the nose.
- Two exchanges from "The Amazing Harry Hoo":
The Chief: That agent is our only lead to their Number 1 man! The man in charge of KAOSí data smuggling operation. Your man was Number 3. He would lead us to Number 2, and Number 2 would lead us to Number 1!
99: How long have we been following those agents now, Chief?
The Chief: Since Number 118.
Max: 118?! My gosh, Chief, that sounds like an awful waste of time to me! Why didnít we just start off with Number 1?
- A few minutes later, the Chief shows Max a map of the United States covered in pushpins representing identified KAOS agents. Max, however notices that:
Max: The position of all these KAOS agents can be explained. All except one.
The Chief: Which one is that?
Max: What's this guy doing up here in Manitoba?
(Max removes the pin that is on Manitoba. The map falls to the floor, pins scattering everywhere.)
The Chief: (exasperated) He was holding the map up!!
- What's really funny is, they reused the gag in a later episode— but this time it's the Chief who fails to realize the "misplaced" pin is holding the map to the wall, says it is "confusing", and orders a protesting Max to remove it.
- I might have the amounts wrong, but there's an episode where Max insists on using the cone of silence to ask for a raise of $100. The Chief is furious about this:
The Chief: I can't believe you'd use (the Cone of Silence) just to ask me for a raise of $100!
- Max has just met Hymie and is on assignment with him at a fancy party, unaware that Hymie is a robot. Wanting to be inconspicuous, Max tells Hymie, "Do exactly what I do." Hymie proceeds to exactly mirror every single move Max makes, drawing the attention of everyone in the room.
- Siegfried's Freudian Excuse:
Siegfried: My mother wouldn't get me a sled! Why wouldn't she get me a sled, Smart, why?!
Max: I don't know, Siegfried.
Seigfried: Do you think maybe it was because we lived in Florida?
- Max and Siegfried are disarming themselves as a show of good faith.
Max: Suicide pill.
Seigfried: May I see? (Max hands the pill to him)
Max: They're raspberry this month. Wanna try?
Seigfried: No thanks.
Max: Go ahead. They aren't habit forming.
Max: (giving up and adding the pill to the pile) Where's yours?
Siegfried: This (shows a ring on his hand) is my suicide wedding ring. (Max reaches for it) I will have to keep it on.
Max: A suicide wedding ring? How does it work?
Siegfried: Through my wife. She said if I ever take it off, she'll kill me.
- Max's and 99's antics in "Too Sire With Love." They're protecting a foreign king who looks exactly like Max by hiding him in their apartment. Max gets paranoid-jealous, so he tests 99 by pretending to be the king and hitting on her. When 99 finds out it's Max, she gets back at him by pretending to still be in the dark and flirting right back. Later, Max finds out she found out and gets back at her by pretending she was wrong and that she had her hands and lips all over the real king all along. Oh, these two were made for each other!
- The beginning of "Closely Watched Planes":
Chief: I don't believe it, I just don't believe it! I send you on a simple mission — to protect Busby and a briefcase crammed with top secret information — and all we've got to show for your work is his flight bag!
Max: You're lucky you got that, Chief. I had to fight an old lady at the baggage counter for it — she said it was hers.
Chief: It was hers, Max! (holds up a pair of pantyhose) Unless there's something about Busby we don't know about!
- Professor Parker has to coach Max over the phone on how to deactivate a bomb in "Stakeout On Blue Mist Mountain":
Professor: You need to remove the flange from the plutonium core. Do you know what I'm talking about?!
Max: I'm familiar with the word "remove."
- From "The Only Way to Die", a standout example of the "Would you believe...?" Running Gag:
Max: You might as well hand over that gun, Blaster, because this yacht happens to be surrounded by the seventh fleet.
The Blaster: I find that hard to believe.
Maxwell Smart: Would you believe the sixth fleet?
The Blaster: I don't think so.
Maxwell Smart: How about a school of angry flounder?
- "You're twice the agent 43 is, 86!"
- 99's reaction to discovering Max fell out of the plane without his parachute:
- From the movie:
Max: I think it's only fair to warn you, this facility is surrounded by a highly trained team of 130 Black Op Snipers.
Max: Would you believe two dozen Delta Force Commandos?
Max: How about Chuck Norris with a BB-gun?
- Max being bugged:
Max: did you say SEIGFREEEEEED?! (loudness causes 99 to bonk her head on the ceiling)
- "Oh my God, you and 23? I am so sexually threatened right now!"
- The scene where Max and Chief are driving through a golf course.
Max: I can't get over the fact that 23 is a traitor.
(The car drives through a sandtrap.)
Max: Now I know how you must have felt when you thought I was a traitor. It is demoralizing.
(The car grazes a tractor.)
Max: I don't know how I missed it. I'm usually very observant.
(The car crashes through a fish stand with a fake swordfish as a decoration, and stops in front of a airfield.)
Max: Chief, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Chief: I dunno. Are you thinking: 'Holy shit, holy shit, a swordfish almost went through my head'? If so, then yes.
- "Knockout gas, 99? Please. I have trained my body to be impervious to — that's the new stuff." THUD
- After Max has been arrested under suspicion of being The Mole, he demands to know how they think he could do it:
You lied about finding evidence of radioactivity. Agent 23:
You conveniently killed Kristick before anybody could question him. Chief:
And there's a little matter of you stoving my head in with a fire extinguisher
I said I was sorry! You just didn't hear because you were in a mini-coma.
- After the Chief got into a brawl with the Vice President, it is revealed that one of the other officials present recorded the fight on his camera phone and sent it to the President, who thought it was hilarious. Sure, we don't see the actual incident, but the impressed reactions that Agents 23 and 99 have sell everything.
- Agent 99 and Max ditch their motorcycle in a small village. 99 says they need to find a car that isn't conspicuous. Max glazes over a few old and beat-up models of various kinds, and looks inside a garage, and sees something that he thinks is perfect. Agent 99 vehemently objects to his choice. Cuts to Max and Agent 99 driving down a country road in a bright-red and very conspicuous Ferarri, Max driving and 99 riding shotgun.
- Then they pass a couple of farmers. One says, "Holy shit! A Ferrari!", while his wife immediately whips out a camera-phone and takes a picture.
- When Dalip swings from the exploding base over to the apartment building across the street, he crashes through the window of an apartment where an elderly woman and her son are watching Batman Begins, which just happens to be in the middle of an explosion scene. The son and his mom seem to mistake the sounds of the explosions going on outside (and the crash right behind them) as being the TV surround sound system.
- Max has just discovered the break-in at CONTROL. He finds Bruce and Lloyd taking shelter:
Maxwell Smart: Bruce! Lloyd! What happened here... and what is that ungodly smell?
Lloyd: [whimpering] Fear!
Agent 99: Freeze.
Maxwell Smart: Freeze.
Agent 99: No, you freeze!
Maxwell Smart: You freeze.
Agent 99: I told you to freeze!
Maxwell Smart: Freeze, times infinity.
Agent 99: Oh, my God! [turns Max around so that he's facing her, and recognizes him as the guy she just crashed into while jogging] You!
Maxwell Smart: You.
Agent 99: Are you CONTROL?
Maxwell Smart: I am Maxwell Smart. I am a CONTROL analyst. Who are you? [beat]
Agent 99: I'm Agent 99.
Maxwell Smart: Oh, my Lord, you are Agent 99? I am a huge fan!
Agent 99: Thank you.
- During the flight, Max sees he's got gum on his shoe:
Maxwell Smart: Oh great, I have gum on the bottom of my new shoes. [pulls out a matchbox and starts removing the gum with a match]
Passenger 1: Hey! He's trying to light his shoe!
Passenger 2: It's a shoe bomb! Get him!
Maxwell Smart: No, it's gum.
Lady 1: Gun?
Lady 2: He's got a gun!
Maxwell Smart: No... GUUUMM!
[the air marshal tackles him to the floor]
Air Marshal: Air Marshal! You're under arrest!
Maxwell Smart: Sir, I believe you just shattered my coccyx!
[Cuts to Max sitting in a bulkhead seat near the lavatory, hands cuffed. 99 sits down across the aisle from him]
Maxwell Smart: Well, you were no help at all.
Agent 99: How could I help? I'm just a woman with a dusty old uterus.
Maxwell Smart: I never said "dusty".
- So that he can get into the lavatory to escape:
Agent 99: Are you going to be okay with your handcuffs?
Maxwell Smart: No handcuffs can contain me. [speaks up] Excuse me, violent sky marshal!
Air Marshal: What do you want?
I have to squeeze the lemon
.[a nearby couple sigh in disgust]
You heard me. Squeeze the lemon
- And then the repeated failure of Max trying to escape from his zip-tie cuffs in the plane's bathroom using the crossbow in his Swiss-Army KNIFE, only to end up repeatedly skewering himself with the darts, getting hit in through his ear and his nose; when he finally shoots through the cuffs, he also accidentally shoots the button that opens the drop off hatch.
- After Max, convinces Dalip to stop trying to kill him and 99 by informing him of and helping him with his failing marriage.
: Her sister's such a bitch.