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** Note than when the Chief is saying that last line, the swordfish is literally ''an inch'' from his face.
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Spoilers Off on moments pages


** And then the [[EpicFail repeated failure]] of Max trying to escape from his zip-tie cuffs in the plane's bathroom using the [[AwesomeButImpractical crossbow]] in his Swiss-Army KNIFE, only to end up repeatedly skewering himself with the darts, getting hit through his [[EarAche ear]] and his ''nose''; when he finally shoots through the cuffs, he also [[spoiler: accidentally shoots the button that opens the drop off hatch]].

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** And then the [[EpicFail repeated failure]] of Max trying to escape from his zip-tie cuffs in the plane's bathroom using the [[AwesomeButImpractical crossbow]] in his Swiss-Army KNIFE, only to end up repeatedly skewering himself with the darts, getting hit through his [[EarAche ear]] and his ''nose''; when he finally shoots through the cuffs, he also [[spoiler: accidentally shoots the button that opens the drop off hatch]].hatch.



* After Max [[spoiler: convinces Dalip to stop trying to kill him and 99 by informing him of and helping him with his failing marriage.]]
-->'''[[spoiler: Dalip]]''': Her sister's such a bitch.

to:

* After Max [[spoiler: convinces Dalip to stop trying to kill him and 99 by informing him of and helping him with his failing marriage.]]
-->'''[[spoiler: Dalip]]''':
marriage.
-->'''Dalip''':
Her sister's such a bitch.



-->'''Max''': I can't get over the fact that [[spoiler:23 is a traitor]].

to:

-->'''Max''': I can't get over the fact that [[spoiler:23 23 is a traitor]].traitor.
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* "Aboard the Orient Express" features two moments courtesy of Creator/JohnnyCarson's [[{{Cameo}} train conductor]].

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* "Aboard the Orient Express" features two moments courtesy of Creator/JohnnyCarson's [[{{Cameo}} [[TheCameo train conductor]].

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to:

* "Aboard the Orient Express" features two moments courtesy of Creator/JohnnyCarson's [[{{Cameo}} train conductor]].
** He comes in to the booth where Max is, and announces they're entering Liechtenstein and he has to stamp their passports. Fifteen seconds later he comes back and announces they're ''leaving'' Liechtenstein and stamps them again.
--->'''Max:''' [''rolling eyes''] What took so long?
--->'''Conductor:''' Floods! They're evacuating the country.
** At the end, Max and 99 have defeated the KAOS agents, and are currently standing in their booth with gas masks on, with knockout gas still in the air and unconscious bad guys on the floor. The conductor comes in and [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight stamps their passports]].
--->'''Max:''' Sorry about the mess.
--->'''Conductor:''' Ah, no problem. [[SeenItAll Happens all the time on the Orient Express]]. If you think this is bad, you should see Compartment 13!
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** Max accidentally says the password to the neighbor, who says, "You must want the spy school, it's next door" in a voice that suggests that she's dealt with this fairly often in the past.

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** Max accidentally talks on the phone to the Chief and gives a short spiel about how amazing it is that CONTROL is able to have a spy school in a nondescript suburban house and have it be completely hidden. Then he knocks on the door and says the password to password, and the neighbor, woman who answered the door says, "You must want the spy school, it's next door" in a voice that suggests that she's dealt with this fairly often in the past.
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-->'''The Chief''': (''exasperated'') He was holding the map up!!

to:

-->'''The Chief''': (''exasperated'') He was ''was'' holding the map up!!up!
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* I might have the amounts wrong, but there's an episode where Max insists on using the cone of silence to ask for a raise of $100. The Chief is furious about this:

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* I might have the amounts wrong, but there's an episode where Max insists on using the cone Cone of silence Silence to ask for a raise of $100. The Chief is furious about this:



-->'''Chief''': Why am I talking to you?! Will you get this thing off of me?! (''The cone raises.'') You know this doesn't work, why do you always insist on using it?!\\

to:

-->'''Chief''': Why am I talking to you?! Will you get this thing off of me?! (''The cone Cone raises.'') You know this doesn't work, why do you always insist on using it?!\\
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Removal of misused What An Idiot


** And then the [[EpicFail repeated failure]] of Max trying to escape from his zip-tie cuffs in the plane's bathroom using the [[AwesomeButImpractical crossbow]] in his Swiss-Army [[WhatAnIdiot KNIFE]], only to end up repeatedly skewering himself with the darts, getting hit through his [[EarAche ear]] and his ''nose''; when he finally shoots through the cuffs, he also [[spoiler: accidentally shoots the button that opens the drop off hatch]].

to:

** And then the [[EpicFail repeated failure]] of Max trying to escape from his zip-tie cuffs in the plane's bathroom using the [[AwesomeButImpractical crossbow]] in his Swiss-Army [[WhatAnIdiot KNIFE]], KNIFE, only to end up repeatedly skewering himself with the darts, getting hit through his [[EarAche ear]] and his ''nose''; when he finally shoots through the cuffs, he also [[spoiler: accidentally shoots the button that opens the drop off hatch]].
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-->'''Lloyd:''' ''[whimpering]'' [[BringMyBronwPants Fear!]]

to:

-->'''Lloyd:''' ''[whimpering]'' [[BringMyBronwPants [[BringMyBrownPants Fear!]]
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-->'''Lloyd:''' ''[whimpering]'' Fear!

to:

-->'''Lloyd:''' ''[whimpering]'' Fear! [[BringMyBronwPants Fear!]]
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*** This is a cheap gag. What makes it hilarious is EVERYTHING IN HIS ROOM IS SIZED TO HIM...including tiny cigarettes, and undersized chairs.
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** Then they pass a couple of farmers. One says, "[[PrecisionFStrike Holy shit! A Ferrari!]]", while his wife immediately whips out a camera-phone and takes a picture.

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** Then they pass a couple of farmers. One says, "[[PrecisionFStrike Holy shit! A Ferrari!]]", while his wife immediately whips out a camera-phone her phone and takes a picture.



* "Sir, I'm sure whatever the president is doing is vital to the country." ''(cuts to the president reading to a class of children)''
* "You have reached the United States Department of Homeland Security. For threats against the continental United States, press 1. For threats against Hawaii, press 2. For threats against Puerto Rico..."

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* "Sir, I'm sure whatever the president President is doing is vital to the country." ''(cuts to the president reading to a class of children)''
* "You "[[ForInconveniencePressOne You have reached the United States Department of Homeland Security. For threats against the continental United States, press 1. For threats against Hawaii, press 2. For threats against Puerto Rico..." ]]"



* "Knockout gas, 99? Please. I have trained my body to be impervious to -- ''that's the new stuff''." THUD

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* "Knockout gas, 99? Please. I have trained my body to be impervious to -- ''that's the new stuff''." THUD*THUD*

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* The variant on the "missed it by that much" catchphrase that involves a villain jumping out the window to escape, announcing beforehand that has a safe landing waiting below. (happens at least twice)

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* The variant on the "missed it by that much" catchphrase that involves a villain jumping out the window to escape, announcing beforehand that [[BarelyMissedCushion he has a safe landing waiting below.below]]. (happens at least twice)




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* Max, posing as a butler, asks someone outside to come back tomorrow. He abruptly finds himself under a gun.
-->'''Max''': [[DeadpanSnarker Some people just can't stand rejection.]]
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* Maxwell Smart infiltrates the enemy base and is confronted by the BigBad's henchmen.
-->'''Siegfried:''' How do we know you're not CONTROL?\\
'''Maxwell:''' If I were CONTROL, you'd already be dead.\\
'''Siegfried:''' If you were CONTROL, ''you'd'' already be dead.\\
'''Maxwell:''' Well, neither of us are dead, so obviously I'm not from CONTROL, am I?\\
({{Beat}}.)\\
'''Shtarker:''' [[LogicalFallacies That actually makes sense...]]
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!!TV Series

to:

!!TV Series!![[Series/GetSmart TV Series]]



!!2008 Movie

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!!2008 Movie!![[Film/GetSmart 2008 Movie]]
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* The variant on the "missed it by that much" catchphrase that involves a villain jumping out the window with something waiting to break his fall below. (happens at least twice)

to:

* The variant on the "missed it by that much" catchphrase that involves a villain jumping out the window with something to escape, announcing beforehand that has a safe landing waiting to break his fall below. (happens at least twice)



** A few minutes later, the Chief shows Max a map of the United States covered in pushpins representing identified KAOS agents. Max, however notices that:

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** A few minutes later, the Chief shows Max a map of the United States covered in pushpins representing identified KAOS agents. Max, however notices that:
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* In "Washington 4 Indians 3", Max, 99 and 43 have taken an Indian prisoner, and Max decides to [[[[MuggedForDisguise use his outfit to infiltrate the Red Feathers' camp]].

to:

* In "Washington 4 Indians 3", Max, 99 and 43 have taken an Indian prisoner, and Max decides to [[[[MuggedForDisguise [[MuggedForDisguise use his outfit to infiltrate the Red Feathers' camp]].



'''Max'': 99, I think it will work a lot better the other way around.

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'''Max'': '''Max:''' 99, I think it will work a lot better the other way around.
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*** Doubly hilarious is that, to an outside observer, it sounds like he was extremely constipated.

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'''Max''': Well, for one thing, it's 20 degrees cooler under there.

to:

'''Max''': Well, for one thing, it's 20 degrees cooler under there.inside.
* In "Weekend Vampire", Max attempts to recreate the music he heard just before Agent 52 was murdered, which leads to him, Arrick and the Chief singing "Heart of my Heart" to it. The best part is that Max is the first one to notice what he's doing and stop, while ''[[NotSoAboveItAll the Chief]]'' takes the longest.

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* Max has just discovered the break-in at CONTROL. He finds Bruce and Lloyd taking shelter:
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' Bruce! Lloyd! What happened here... and what is that ungodly smell?
-->'''Lloyd:''' ''[whimpering]'' Fear!
-->''[Max wanders in, cautiously, to take a look, when suddenly, he feels [[ClickHello a pistol to the back of his head]]]''
-->'''Agent 99:''' Freeze.
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' Freeze.
-->'''Agent 99:''' No, you freeze!
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' You freeze.
-->'''Agent 99:''' I told you to freeze!
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' Freeze, times infinity.
-->'''Agent 99:''' Oh, my God! ''[turns Max around so that he's facing her, and recognizes him as the guy she just crashed into while jogging]'' [[YouExclamation You!]]
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' You.
-->'''Agent 99:''' ''[raises gun]'' Are you CONTROL?
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' I am Maxwell Smart. I am a CONTROL analyst. Who are you? ''[beat]''
-->'''Agent 99:''' I'm Agent 99.
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' Oh, my Lord, ''you'' are Agent 99? I am a ''huge'' fan!
-->'''Agent 99:''' Thank you.



* During the flight, Max sees he's got gum on his shoe:
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' Oh great, I have gum on the bottom of my new shoes. ''[pulls out a matchbox and starts removing the gum with a match]''
-->'''Passenger 1:''' Hey! He's trying to light his shoe!
-->'''Passenger 2:''' It's a shoe bomb! Get him!
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' No, it's gum.
-->'''Lady 1:''' Gun?
-->'''Lady 2:''' He's got a gun!
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' No... GUUUMM!
-->''[the air marshal tackles him to the floor]''
-->'''Air Marshal:''' Air Marshal! You're under arrest!
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' Sir, I believe you just shattered my coccyx!
-->''[Cuts to Max sitting in a bulkhead seat near the lavatory, hands cuffed. 99 sits down across the aisle from him]''
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' Well, you were no help at all.
-->'''Agent 99:''' How could I help? I'm just a woman with a dusty old uterus.
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' I never said "dusty".
** So that he can get into the lavatory to escape:
-->'''Agent 99:''' Are you going to be okay with your handcuffs?
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' No handcuffs can contain me. ''[speaks up]'' Excuse me, violent sky marshal!
-->'''Air Marshal:''' What do you want?
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' I have to [[DoubleEntendre squeeze the lemon]].''[a nearby couple sigh in disgust]'' You heard me. ''Squeeze the lemon''.
** And then the [[EpicFail repeated failure]] of Max trying to escape from his zip-tie cuffs in the plane's bathroom using the [[AwesomeButImpractical crossbow]] in his Swiss-Army [[WhatAnIdiot KNIFE]], only to end up repeatedly skewering himself with the darts, getting hit through his [[EarAche ear]] and his ''nose''; when he finally shoots through the cuffs, he also [[spoiler: accidentally shoots the button that opens the drop off hatch]].



* From the movie:

to:

* From Agent 99 and Max ditch their motorcycle in a small village. 99 says they need to find a car that isn't conspicuous. Max glazes over a few old and beat-up models of various kinds, and looks inside a garage, and sees something that he thinks is perfect. Agent 99 vehemently objects to his choice: [[GilliganCut a bright-red and very conspicuous Ferarri]], Max driving and 99 riding shotgun. Which apparently was the movie: only car in working condition.
-->'''Agent 99:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh yeah, we are really under the radar now]].\\
'''Maxwell Smart:''' Will you ''relax''? Since the fall of Communism, everybody has one of these here.
** Then they pass a couple of farmers. One says, "[[PrecisionFStrike Holy shit! A Ferrari!]]", while his wife immediately whips out a camera-phone and takes a picture.
* Max being bugged:
--> '''Max''': Did you say SIEGFRIEEEEEED?! ''(loudness causes 99 to bonk her head on the ceiling)''
* When Max is busted by Siegfried, he tries to talk his way out:



* Max being bugged:
--> '''Max''': Did you say SIEGFRIEEEEEED?! ''(loudness causes 99 to bonk her head on the ceiling)''

to:

* After Max [[spoiler: convinces Dalip to stop trying to kill him and 99 by informing him of and helping him with his failing marriage.]]
-->'''[[spoiler: Dalip]]''': Her sister's such a bitch.
* When Dalip swings from the exploding base over to the apartment building across the street, he crashes through the window of an apartment where an elderly woman and her son are watching ''Film/BatmanBegins'', which just happens to be in the middle of an explosion scene.[[note]]Specifically, when the League of Shadows' mountain base is blowing up[[/note]] The son and his mom seem to mistake the sounds of the explosions going on outside (and the crash right behind them) as
being bugged:
--> '''Max''': Did you say SIEGFRIEEEEEED?! ''(loudness causes 99 to bonk her head on
the ceiling)''TV surround sound system.
* "Sir, I'm sure whatever the president is doing is vital to the country." ''(cuts to the president reading to a class of children)''
* "You have reached the United States Department of Homeland Security. For threats against the continental United States, press 1. For threats against Hawaii, press 2. For threats against Puerto Rico..."
* The Cabinet meeting. From the heads of every department snarking at each other from across the room in a rather serious meeting, to Chief and the Vice-President outright dropping all pretense and fighting each other in the center of the room ("I've been waiting for this since Nixon!"), to even the President remarking that he thought it was hilarious and that the VP had it coming for some time later on.
* "Knockout gas, 99? Please. I have trained my body to be impervious to -- ''that's the new stuff''." THUD
** "Oh, Max...."



* After Max has been arrested under suspicion of being TheMole, he demands to know how they think he could do it:
-->'''Agent 99:''' You lied about finding evidence of radioactivity.\\
'''Agent 23:''' You conveniently killed Krstic before anybody could question him.\\
'''Chief:''' And there's a little matter of you [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking stoving my head in with a fire extinguisher]]!\\
'''Max:''' I said I was sorry! You just didn't hear because you were in a mini-coma.
* After the Chief got into a brawl with the Vice President, it is revealed that one of the other officials present recorded the fight on his camera phone and sent it to the President, who thought it was ''hilarious''. Sure, we don't see the actual incident beyond the Chief leaping across the table and ''tackling'' the Vice President, but the impressed reactions that Agents 23 and 99 have sell everything.



* "Knockout gas, 99? Please. I have trained my body to be impervious to -- ''that's the new stuff''." THUD
** "Oh, Max...."
* After Max has been arrested under suspicion of being TheMole, he demands to know how they think he could do it:
-->'''Agent 99:''' You lied about finding evidence of radioactivity.\\
'''Agent 23:''' You conveniently killed Krstic before anybody could question him.\\
'''Chief:''' And there's a little matter of you [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking stoving my head in with a fire extinguisher]]!\\
'''Max:''' I said I was sorry! You just didn't hear because you were in a mini-coma.
* After the Chief got into a brawl with the Vice President, it is revealed that one of the other officials present recorded the fight on his camera phone and sent it to the President, who thought it was ''hilarious''. Sure, we don't see the actual incident beyond the Chief leaping across the table and ''tackling'' the Vice President, but the impressed reactions that Agents 23 and 99 have sell everything.
* Agent 99 and Max ditch their motorcycle in a small village. 99 says they need to find a car that isn't conspicuous. Max glazes over a few old and beat-up models of various kinds, and looks inside a garage, and sees something that he thinks is perfect. Agent 99 vehemently objects to his choice: [[GilliganCut a bright-red and very conspicuous Ferarri]], Max driving and 99 riding shotgun. Which apparently was the only car in working condition.
-->'''Agent 99:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh yeah, we are really under the radar now]].\\
'''Maxwell Smart:''' Will you ''relax''? Since the fall of Communism, everybody has one of these here.
** Then they pass a couple of farmers. One says, "[[PrecisionFStrike Holy shit! A Ferrari!]]", while his wife immediately whips out a camera-phone and takes a picture.
* When Dalip swings from the exploding base over to the apartment building across the street, he crashes through the window of an apartment where an elderly woman and her son are watching ''Film/BatmanBegins'', which just happens to be in the middle of an explosion scene.[[note]]Specifically, when the League of Shadows' mountain base is blowing up[[/note]] The son and his mom seem to mistake the sounds of the explosions going on outside (and the crash right behind them) as being the TV surround sound system.
* Max has just discovered the break-in at CONTROL. He finds Bruce and Lloyd taking shelter:
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' Bruce! Lloyd! What happened here... and what is that ungodly smell?
-->'''Lloyd:''' ''[whimpering]'' Fear!
-->''[Max wanders in, cautiously, to take a look, when suddenly, he feels [[ClickHello a pistol to the back of his head]]]''
-->'''Agent 99:''' Freeze.
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' Freeze.
-->'''Agent 99:''' No, you freeze!
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' You freeze.
-->'''Agent 99:''' I told you to freeze!
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' Freeze, times infinity.
-->'''Agent 99:''' Oh, my God! ''[turns Max around so that he's facing her, and recognizes him as the guy she just crashed into while jogging]'' [[YouExclamation You!]]
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' You.
-->'''Agent 99:''' ''[raises gun]'' Are you CONTROL?
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' I am Maxwell Smart. I am a CONTROL analyst. Who are you? ''[beat]''
-->'''Agent 99:''' I'm Agent 99.
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' Oh, my Lord, ''you'' are Agent 99? I am a ''huge'' fan!
-->'''Agent 99:''' Thank you.
* During the flight, Max sees he's got gum on his shoe:
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' Oh great, I have gum on the bottom of my new shoes. ''[pulls out a matchbox and starts removing the gum with a match]''
-->'''Passenger 1:''' Hey! He's trying to light his shoe!
-->'''Passenger 2:''' It's a shoe bomb! Get him!
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' No, it's gum.
-->'''Lady 1:''' Gun?
-->'''Lady 2:''' He's got a gun!
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' No... GUUUMM!
-->''[the air marshal tackles him to the floor]''
-->'''Air Marshal:''' Air Marshal! You're under arrest!
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' Sir, I believe you just shattered my coccyx!
-->''[Cuts to Max sitting in a bulkhead seat near the lavatory, hands cuffed. 99 sits down across the aisle from him]''
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' Well, you were no help at all.
-->'''Agent 99:''' How could I help? I'm just a woman with a dusty old uterus.
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' I never said "dusty".
** So that he can get into the lavatory to escape:
-->'''Agent 99:''' Are you going to be okay with your handcuffs?
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' No handcuffs can contain me. ''[speaks up]'' Excuse me, violent sky marshal!
-->'''Air Marshal:''' What do you want?
-->'''Maxwell Smart:''' I have to [[DoubleEntendre squeeze the lemon]].''[a nearby couple sigh in disgust]'' You heard me. ''Squeeze the lemon''.
** And then the [[EpicFail repeated failure]] of Max trying to escape from his zip-tie cuffs in the plane's bathroom using the [[AwesomeButImpractical crossbow]] in his Swiss-Army [[WhatAnIdiot KNIFE]], only to end up repeatedly skewering himself with the darts, getting hit through his [[EarAche ear]] and his ''nose''; when he finally shoots through the cuffs, he also [[spoiler: accidentally shoots the button that opens the drop off hatch]].
* After Max [[spoiler: convinces Dalip to stop trying to kill him and 99 by informing him of and helping him with his failing marriage.]]
-->'''[[spoiler: Dalip]]''': Her sister's such a bitch.
* The Cabinet meeting. From the heads of every department snarking at each other from across the room in a rather serious meeting, to Chief and the Vice-President outright dropping all pretense and fighting each other in the center of the room ("I've been waiting for this since Nixon!"), to even the President remarking that he thought it was hilarious and that the VP had it coming for some time later on.



* "Sir, I'm sure whatever the president is doing is vital to the country." ''(cuts to the president reading to a class of children)''
* "You have reached the United States Department of Homeland Security. For threats against the continental United States, press 1. For threats against Hawaii, press 2. For threats against Puerto Rico..."
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** "Oh, Max...."

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* In "Washington 4 Indians 3", Max, 99 and 43 have [[[[MuggedForDisguise taken an Indian prisoner so that Max can infiltrate the Red Feathers' camp]].

to:

* In "Washington 4 Indians 3", Max, 99 and 43 have taken an Indian prisoner, and Max decides to [[[[MuggedForDisguise taken an Indian prisoner so that Max can use his outfit to infiltrate the Red Feathers' camp]].camp]].
-->'''Max''': Now if one of you will help me get his clothes off, the other can turn their back.\\
(''99 crouches down to start getting his clothes off, while 43 turns his back.'')\\
'''Max'': 99, I think it will work a lot better the other way around.
** Some time later, on the radio.

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