Funny / Dinosaurs

  • At the end of 'Georgie Must Die', Earl is given a key to the city by the Chief Elder for giving Georgie a well-deserved punch on behalf of annoyed parents everywhere. Earl's response?
    Earl: Lotta good this does me; there's no door to this city!
  • Any Earl-Baby interaction. Always good for a laugh.
    Earl: Good morning my family who loves me.
    Baby: Not the mama!
    Earl: All right, that ends right now. I have had it up to here with this "Not the mama". I am not "Not the mama", I'm your daddy! And you only get one, buster, so that is what you're gonna call me. Say "Daddy." (Beat) Say, "Daddy!" (Beat) Okay. All right, all right, say, "Dah..."
    Baby: Dah...
    Earl: Say, "Dee..."
    Baby: Dee...
    Earl: Dah...
    Baby: Dah...
    Earl: Dee...
    Baby: Dee...
    Earl: Dah-dee!
    Baby: Dah-dee!
    Earl: (While Baby goes Daddy over and over) Franny! Fran! He loves me, listen to him!
    Baby: (Singing) Daddy, daddy, dad-dad dad-dad-dy...Not the mama!
  • Earl singing "How Lovely to Be a Woman" in 'And the Winner Is'.
    • Baby being named "Augh Augh I'm Dying You Idiot".
    • Mr. Richfield's campaign ad.
    • Richfield losing his temper at the debate while being restrained by his support staff.
  • This dialogue in "Nuts to War":
    Baby: Give me a cookie!
    Fran: Here. Now what do you say?
    Baby: More!
    Fran: No that's not it. What is it?
    Baby: Give me!
    Fran: What's the magic word?
    Baby: Why? You don't know it either?
    Fran: I know it and so do you.
    [a mouse snatches Baby's cookie and runs back into the hole]
    Fran: Oh no. Crying isn't gonna help.
    Baby: My cookie's gone!
    Fran: Because you ate it.
    Baby: The cookie creature took it!
    Fran: Oh, so it was the cookie creature.
    Baby: Don't talk down to me!
    Fran: This is between you and the cookie creature.
    Baby: Oh well, thanks for nothing!
  • This dialogue from 'What Sexu-Al Harris Meant'. Earl has just been told by Fran to help Monica get the tree pushing job at Wesayso;
    Earl: A female tree-pusher? You can't be serious! That's ludicrous! I'd be a laughingstock! (Gilligan Cut to Richfield's office) Mr. Richfield?
    Richfield: What?
    Earl: There's someone outside I'd like you to meet.
    Richfield: (Sees Monica) Ahh, you brought me a female. Nice gesture. Thing is, I already have a wife.
    Earl: Oh, thank you! But, uh...actually...she's here for the (Mumbles) treepushingjob.
    Richfield: WHAT!? A female tree-pusher!? You can't be serious, that's ludicrous! You're a laughingstock!
    Earl: Just as I predicted.
  • The scene from "Terrible Twos" when Baby slingshots his baby bottle at the TV. What show is playing? Blarney.
    Baby: Eat glass Blarney!
    (Baby slingshots his bottle at the TV)
    Blarney: AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
    (Television explodes)
    • This troper lost it at this scene, since the last quote seen here is something you just don't normally hear an infant that isn't Stewie Griffin use such vocabulary.
  • This dialogue from "Driving Miss Ethyl":
    Ethyl: [reading road map] According to this map, we've wandered completely out of known civilization. We've passed the Mysterious Gorge and the River of Blood and now we're deep in the heart of the Valley of the... Roosters.
    Earl: What?! Your eyes are shot! Let me see that map. Here we are...and it's not Valley of the Roosters, it's Valley of the Monsters. Monsters! That doesn't even sound like "roosters".
    (he realizes what he just said)
    Ethyl: See any... roosters out there?
    Earl: No, just an inky dark terrifying void.
    Ethyl: Maybe we should turn around.
    Earl: (agreeing with her for maybe the first time ever) Good idea.
    (A large monster then approaches them)
    Earl: Uh, cock-a-doodle-doo?
    • And then it turns out that the monster is actually very friendly, greeting them with a "Howdy!" and giving them directions.
  • This bit from "Unmarried... With Children":
    Earl: This is one of those moments in life that's just miserable and rotten for every one of us.
    (Ethyl enters celebrating)
    Ethyl: (singing) Happy days are here again! My daughter's free from fat boy! My daughter's free from fat boy! Happy days are here again!
  • "A New Leaf": Robbie, Earl, and Charlene's behavior while high on the happy plant.
  • The Blarney Home Video Library commercial from "Into the Woods".
    • From the same episode, the antics of Woody, especially when he says "I've got milkshakes, pixie sticks... RAW COOKIE DOUGH!!!"
  • This dialogue from "Germ Warfare":
    Fran: It's the phone bill and it's just a little more then I expected.
    Earl: 4,563,000 dollars?!
    Fran: That's our phone number.
  • Many of the Dino TV show spots seen throughout the series.
  • Lyzzard Skyzzard's "I'm Better Than You" music video in "Switched at Birth".
  • The "The Earl Show" bit in "Family Challenge".
    • Baby playing with the TV remote in the same episode, especially this scene:
    Baby: "Don't touch that dial."
    (pushes button on remote)
    Baby: "We'll be right back."
    (pushes button on remote)
    Baby: "Your mileage may differ."
    (pushes button on remote)
    Baby: "Tell him what he's won, Bob."
    (pushes button on remote)
    Baby: "How hot was it?"
    (pushes button on remote)
    Baby: "This concludes our broadcast day."
    (aims remote at his face, pushes button and goes to sleep)
  • Just about any time Richfield yells "Sinclair, in here now!" but the one that takes the cake is in What "Sexual Harris" Meant. Richfield is presiding over a hearing to determine if Al "Sexual" Harris' comments towards and subsequent firing of Monica constituted sexual harassment and gender discrimination. Monica easily puts down just about everything that the Wesayso representatives do to try and ruin the hearing for her and they decide that they need someone to discredit her. Richfield yells "Sinclair! In here now!" into the camera broadcasting the trial on television. Earl is watching at home and immediately freaks out, running all the way to the hearing to testify.
  • Earl attempting to potty train Baby. All of it.
    • Of special note, Earl at one point thinks he flushed Baby down the toilet, leading to him pulling an all-nighter trying to get him out. Charlene eventually has to break the door down (since she really has to use the bathroom), leading to this priceless image (which was used in the second version of the opening theme sequence).
  • Earl's lunch making out in the episode, "Charlene's Tale".
    Earl: Come on, cut it out!
    Lunch couple: *Looks at him* Hump! *Started kissing each other and Earl slammed the lid shut.*
    Earl: They didn't even know each other before I defrosted them.
  • Earl watching a commercial for alcohol in "Career Opportunities".
    "Alcohol: The more you drink, the less you think!"
  • One of the show's running gags was an in-universe TV series about science, and someone named Timmy always dies in the experiment, culminating with "We're going to need another Timmy!"
    • Especially one episode where Timmy is told to put on safety goggles, much to Earl and Baby's disappointment... but still dies anyway.
  • "Monster Under the Bed":
    • Baby is scared to go to sleep after watching a scary movie, so Earl gives him a bat to attack monsters with if they come for him. Earl tells Fran to turn off the light, but Baby immediately thinks Earl is a monster, and begins whacking him on the head. Earl yells for Fran to turn the light back on as he's pummeled by his own child, but Fran is too late to stop Earl from passing out.
    • When Robbie and Charlene are left to babysit Baby for the night, he begins crying about a monster again. After Charlene is abducted by a real monster, he cries for Robbie to help. Robbie comes in with the vacuum cleaner, trying to tell his little brother that he's got a monster-killing device.
    • Once the kids are captured by the monster, they learn that their house was accidentally built on top of his, and he's spent about twenty years digging through concrete to try to get to the surface.
    Monster: And it took me 18 years to get the permit!!!
    • When the police first begin hostage negotiations, the monster answers the phone as "Hello, Monster under the Bed, Monster speaking!" He's only mildly annoyed that the police want to talk to the kids, but lets them do it anyway. During the broadcast of the crisis, the Monster is represented by his old graduation pictures.
    • The police don't help that much anyway.
    Police chief: Hey there, monster. Ever share a hot cocoa with your dad?
    Monster: (gasps) Yeah... Yeah I did! Wow, that really brings back memories! Seems like you really understand!
    Police chief: You're right monster, we care so darn much... NOW RELEASE THOSE KIDS, DIRTBAG!! Or we'll come down there and turn you off like a light switch!
    Monster: If I go, they go with me!!
    Police chief: You don't have the guts! Do it! Do it!
    Monster: Okay! (begins hastily preparing his stew)
    Police chief: He's clearly unstable! (cops cock their guns)
    Howard Handupme: And it appears that negotiations have broken down between the police and the monster, and we are inching ever close to an almost inevitable firestorm.
    • Then just as the battle is about to begin, everyone pauses to watch a commercial about cotton candy. Everyone, including the monster (who's already got Baby in his stew pot) sings along.
    • Baby comes up with the idea of simply moving the house away from the monster's burrow. Howard Handupme calls in an expert to see if it can be done. The expert has a diorama of the Sinclairs' house on a flat piece of wood, and simply moves the diorama a few inches. "Sure!" And sure enough, the monster agrees to the arrangement.
    Police chief: Gets us home by 6.