Funny / Criminal Case

Funny moments in Criminal Case:

General

• The Gameplay and Story Segregation with the hidden object puzzles can cause a few laughs if you look at them the right way. Yes, a giant robot is rampaging through the city, there's an evil eye floating in the sky, and the Taj Mahal is somehow appearing above the clouds...but what's really important is what might be in this pile of dirt!

Grimsborough

• The Additional Investigation of The Death of Rosa Wolf has one when Jones and the player tries to get information about a gang from one of it's members, only for them to troll Jones instead. It actually took Jones a moment to realise what he just heard, as well.
  Ash Bison: All right, Deputy, you got me! We've changed leaders recently. The new guy's name is... Keath Myass!
• Jones lampshading his Hypocritical Heartwarming treatment of Ramirez in one side-quest in Death by Crucifixion, after having snapped at a suspect who insulted Ramirez for mishandling some much-needed information (which Jones himself has criticized Ramirez for previously).
  Jones: (chagrined) I can't believe I just took Ramirez's defense. Oh, stop laughing, (player's name)!
• Jones' reaction to the elderly Lydia Holly's crush on him during a side-quest in Beautiful No More, where you and he have to repair and return a set of binoculars that she accidentally dropped. Your character is implied to have asked (jokingly) if Jones intends to ask her out.
  Jones: (with a horrified expression) WHAT?! Of course not, I don't wanna ask her out! Come on, she's at least 130 years old! (scowling) No, that was NOT funny. Just...Never mind, let's go.
• Jones' reaction, in Into the Viper's Nest, to your having found several critical clues in the sewers while managing to stay dry on the sewer walkways, while he himself went sewer-water-diving and found nothing.
  Jones: What the...?! You're telling me that I dived into the sewers and found NOTHING, while you stay nice and dry and find all this?! Huh... (sullenly) Well, er, excellent work, (player's name)!
  • In that same case, Ramirez mistakenly calls Marconi "Linguini" and "Tortellini". Marconi gets so angry at this that he spits out his gum by accident, and swears at Ramirez.
• In Bomb Alert on Grimsborough, where you have Alex analyze a disarmed bomb.
  Alex: No wonder your bomb didn't blow up. It was meant NOT to! Your bomber's playing with you. If you had tried to disarm the bomb... well, let's just say you guys wouldn't be in much better shape than Harry [the victim who was blown to pieces].
  Jones: (looks horrified) ..........
  • Later in that case when there's another bomb on the loose.
  Jones:(happy face) Well done, (Rank) (PlayerName), you found the bomb. <beat, face changes to horrified> HOLY SH*T, YOU FOUND A BOMB!
• The beginning of The Kiss of Death.
  Jones: I don't care if some maniac comes after us with a chainsaw. We aren't doing anything until we finish our hotdogs!
  Victim: (falling) AAAAAAAAAAAH!- [SPLAT!]
• At the beginning of A Deadly Game, you get a package sent to you, to Jones' excitement.
  Jones: Did you just hear that, [Player Name]?! People are sending us thank you gifts! I think I'm going to enjoy that! Open it! Open it!... Oh dear God! This has nothing to do with a gift! THIS IS A FINGER!
  • [Later, while interviewing Jezabela, a dominatrix]
  Jezabela: As for the necklace, it's quite obviously not mine.
  Jones: Come on! "Property of Jezabela" is written on it, clear as day!
  Jezabela: Which means it belongs to my devoted vassal, Cherry Doll. SHE is my property, not the leash!
  Jones: [blushes].....Oh.
• For a case full of Nightmare Fuel, The Summoning has some rather funny moments in it.
  • At the outset, you and Jones find the Necronomicon at the murder scene. Jones' reaction on witnessing the book's admittedly creepy design?
  Jones: KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!
  • Later in the case, you and Jones get hold of one of the infamous Arkham Books, the Book of the Dead, which then proceeds to insult Jones. Yes, folks, Jones got insulted by a book .
  Jones: So, what was the message hidden on the cover? ....."Screw you"!?!
  • Much later in the case, you and Jones happen upon a clearly sleep-deprived Ramirez.
  Ramirez: Jooooooooones...
  Jones: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! A zombie!!! Aim for the head, (player's name), aim for the head!
  Ramirez: A zombie?! Where?! Where?!
  Jones: Ehm, nowhere, Ramirez, we were just joking!
• In The Haunting of Elm Manor, Ramirez plays a prank on Jones while you and the latter are investigating a supposed Haunted House.
  Jones: Okay, I admit it: this place is kind of spooky, but I'm not going to act scared like Ramirez and start whimpering about ghosts.
  Ramirez: (dressed as an obvious Bedsheet Ghost) Booooooooooo!
  Jones: (clearly frightened) A gho...gho...ghost!
  Ramirez: Ha-ha-ha, you should have seen your face, Jones! (player's name) didn't even blink, they're braver than you!
  Jones: Very mature.
• At the end of The Reaper and the Geek, Jones decides to get into the spirit of geekdom by cosplaying. Unfortunately for him, he decides to wear a Wonder Woman-esque costume, for some reason thinking it's a man's costume. Despite all the snide comments he receives from his peers, he doesn't get it until he's flat out told he's wearing a woman's costume.
  • The next case reveals everyone knows about it. Even the Chief.
• In Marked for Death, Mikhail Levin has escaped from prison. How did he do it? By dressing up as a cheerleader to get past the security cameras. The game even shows a picture of him in costume and calls him "Miss Mikhail Levin."
• Also in Marked for Death, Alex has a date with Cathy, Chief King's granddaughter. When he discovers this, he is not pleased.
  COME BACK HERE IMMEDIATELY! I WON'T ALLOW IT!
• Yet again in Marked for Death, when you find out that the killer uses a permanent marker, Jones gets reminded of a commercial about a unicat singing the "EVERMARK" jingle. Jones' face and Nathan's reaction make this even funnier.
  Jones: EVERMARK? As in the permanent marker commercial with the unicat singing "Caaan't faade awayyy"? I could watch it a hundred times in a row!
  Nathan: Unbelievable, Jones... I've just told you that your killer uses a permanent marker and all you can do is talk about some stupid commercial.
• It's both hilarious and satisfying when you arrest Alden Greene again in There Will Be Blood. When you arrested him for the first time, he looks angry◊ and it looks like he's shouting something like Screw the Rules, I Have Connections!/Money!. But then he's been freed for no apparent reason other than (possibly) aforementioned "connections" and/or money. So once you arrest him again, it's very satisfying to see his desperate look◊ which looks like he fully realizes his connections and money won't help him escape anymore this time.
  • Unfortunately for us, he did escape in Pacific Bay and murdered another character. Fortunately for us, no mercy nor arrest for him this time.

Pacific Bay

• Near the end of Death by Moonshine, the murderer attempted to get his sentence reduced by pleading guilty for a much lesser crime, i.e. threatening a turtle belonging to Pacific Bay PD Officer Frank Knight.
  Honorable Dante: Wait... A turtle? Who submitted this charge?
  • Funny thing is, despite Dante saying that this is a terrible misunderstanding of court proceedings, the plead probably works since the culprit got off with only a 25-year sentence despite having run an illegal moonshine operation in addition to the murder.
• In Spineless, it's mentioned that at Frank's last St. Patrick's Day, he apparently locked himself in a detention cell.
  • At the end of Chapter 3, Frank opens up a can of beer, only to get sprayed in the face.
• In Killing Time, Russell's method of analyzing "non-psychology-related" evidence when Hannah was temporarily absent:
  Russell: Then I, er, called the bank and flirted with the cashier until she told me who the number corresponded to.
• In Hearts of Ice, Honorable Dante can't stop thinking that the killer killed Juan Rodrigo because of his leotard.
• After having Russell analyze a riddle left by the killer in Murdertown, Frank wonders if the message implicates that the killer is a poet. Russell responds that anyone could've written such simple lyrics and came up with one of his own — obviously not missing the opportunity to insult Frank in the process.
  Russell: So Frank is a moron, we all know this is true. It's always [player name] who unravels each clue.
  • Near the end of the same case, Frank shocks the team by resigning from the force to elope with one of the suspects. Andrea's irate response was priceless.
  Chief Marquez: (reading Frank's note) Oh. That little, sniveling, pipsqueak of a —
  Roxie: What does the letter say? What's happened?
  Chief Marquez: Frank happened, that's what! First he was born, that's the first mistake he made! Then, he became a cop, that's the second!
• In Uncivil Rights, the killer (who murdered the Mayor of Innovation Valley to prevent her from giving robots rights and putting humans out of work) certainly has a reaction to his sentence.
  Honorable Dante: I sentence you to 25 years in prison. You're to be assigned to the prison's garbage disposal team. The worst job there is!
  Larry: What... A job? You're giving me a job?! And regular meals?! Your Honor, can I stay in prison longer?
  Honorable Dante: Suit yourself. I sentence you to forty years! Court dismissed!

World Edition

• Jack getting attacked by a pigeon in God Save the Prince.
• Lars's habit of mummifying things in the Sahara Region, including an orange and even a chicken he and Angela were supposed to have for dinner.
• For I Spy a Mummy, Jack walking like an Egyptian.
• The Parting Shot has a suspect named Vanna Alabama, who is a very obvious parody of Miley Cyrus. When questioned about the victim's infidelity to both her and his wife, she says that he "destroyed her like a wrecking ball."
  • At the beginning of Chapter 3, Angela can't help but snap photos of the catfight between Vanna and Fiona.
• Moscow Mole:
  • Apparently, Angela has forever forbidden Lars from doing an Irish accent.
  • During the autopsy, Angela shows Jack and the player a matryoshka doll of Dupont. Jack finds it disturbing and tells Angela to get back to the less disturbing dead body.
  • The killer turns out to be a male prostitute, and Judge Adaku wondered how much does it pay and whether it was too late to change his career.
• In Only Truth Remains, one of the suspects, a fortune-teller, attempts to get herself off the hook by being "possessed" by the victim and telling the Bureau that he deserved to die and that the suspect had nothing to do with him. It's so over the top that Marina and the player don't buy it at all.
• In O Deadly Night, Lars decides to literally play Santa Claus and ends up getting stuck in the chimney while trying to enter the victim's house. Angela and the player have to help him out, then the two of them reminisce about how they met in college through the same situation.
• In Plagued by Death, Jack calls the corpse the grossest thing he's ever seen "And I once walked in on my parents."
  • Later he tries Puppy-Dog Eyes on Angela for some good news. This is what she says.
  Jack, I've got three children and one Lars. Puppy-Dog Eyes don't work on me.
  • Jack and Lars' conversation at the end of the AI.
  Lars: Well, at least one good thing came out of this case. Being so close to death has made me realize the importance of spiritual enlightenment! That guru has a point, y'know?
  Jack: What?! Bro, no! The guru has no points at all! Zero points! <name> discovered that he's taking money from his followers! If the guru isn't scamming them, then I'll eat my...uh, I don't have a hat...but I'll try to take a bite out of my sunglasses!
  Lars: I don't know, the guru's message rings true to me.
  Jack: So help me, if you too start talking about being cleansed by that flashing light...!
  Lars: Flashing light? Sounds wicked. Maybe I should read the guru's book!
• In Bloodywood, Lars is too busy reading Om Padmasana's book to analyze the MP3 player Carmen and the player sent him, so he calls in Elliot. Elliot's able to fix the MP3 player and conclude that it belongs to the killer. However, when he turns it on, the music's in Hindi, so he calls in Dupont, much to Carmen's exasperation.
  • Later on, Carmen and the player find a script that the victim tampered with to make Arsha's character talk about who murdered Fluffy the Goldfish.
• In Peace and Dead Quiet, Angela and Lars's renewal of vows are this and a Heartwarming Moment, particularly when their kids interrupt the ceremony.
  Angela: I love you, Mr. Boo.
  Lars: I love you too, Mrs. Boo.
  Triplets: Mommy! Mommy! Can we have some of that drink too?
  Angela: No, sweeties, this beverage is fermented. You know what this means, right?
  Triplets: (disappointed) Yes, mommy...it has ethanol in it and it will make us very sick...
  Angela: Exactly. And I have my hands full enough with your father!
• For Insides Out, upon seeing the corpse, Jack's reaction is to promptly throw up.
  • One of the clues Jack and the player find is a drum. Jack's reaction is to start playing with it.
  • Also, after analyzing a drum, Lars mentions Tibetan tantric practices, and Jack asks if it's like the stuff Asal wants him to do. Lars is reasonably embarrassed.
  Jack: ...Oops. TMI?
• In A Twist of Fate, April and June's attempt to tell a knock-knock joke leave a little to be desired.
  April and June: Knock, knock.
  Jack: Who's there?
  April: Yell.
  Jack: Yell who?
  April and June: Yellow petals! Hahaha! That's what <name> sent us!
  • Later on, Dupont gets drunk off of a bottle of Cognac Jack and the player sent him that he was supposed to analyze.
• In The Murder Games, Lars expresses his frustration at the thought of cleaning up the glitter his daughters found by describing it as "sparkly herpes".
• In A Death Wish, when the player sees Jonah after his analysis he is revealed to have been playing hide-and-seek with one of the triplets. When she picks up a grenade, the normally stoic Jonah makes a priceless "Oh, Crap!!" face.
• In Death Match, Jack meets Professor Marshall Metcalf, who had turned himself blue due to self experimentation. And sure enough, Lars turns himself blue later in the case.
• In The Sweet Escape, a monkey steals Jack's shades and tries to wear them. Jack then demands the shades back because "they're part of his flirting technique."
• Something similar happens in Crash and Burn; as soon as the team steps foot into the Madagascan forest, Jack is seen with a lemur hugging his face.
  Jack: Uh, <name>, ...little help?!
  Carmen: Urgh, Jack! We're not outside five minutes and already you're disturbing the local wildlife!
• In Six Feet Down Under, Carmen expresses her dislike of Lars' cork hat by telling him bluntly that he should burn it.
  • Another way Lars becomes "more Australian" during this case is he tried to make Carmen eat veggiemite, which she describes as nasty.
• In Crash and Burn, Carmen getting frustrated at Dupont's rambling about the Malagasy language.
  • Dupont's analysis of the Malagasy message leads Carmen and the player to interrogate a raffia farmer, who won't stop rambling about the benefits of raffia, much to Carmen's frustration.
  • Later in, Lars says how he'd be a rock star legend if he died in the plane crash, all while rocking out on his air guitar.
• In The Circle of Death, Jack gets worried about getting eaten by an angry giraffe on the savannah.
  • Later on, Jack demands that a baby elephant surrender the murder weapon, no success.
• In Kicking the Bucket, Jack meets a rich kid who looks and acts like him; when he criticizes him for wearing sunglasses indoors and leaving his shirt partially unbuttoned, the player calls him out on his hypocrisy.
  • During the killer's trial, Judge Adaku says he hopes the killer at least asked about SOMBRA's benefits package before he resorted to murder.
  • At the beginning of the additional investigation, Jack gives the player puppy dog eyes in order to convince them to talk to Willem before talking to Marina.
  • In the Additional Investigation, Marina and Elliot discover selfies of Jonah...using Snapchat's dog filter. Made funnier by their surprise at the fact that Jonah takes selfies.
• In Going the Distance, Carmen and the player walk in on Elliot...singing loudly with his headphones on. When they get his attention, he denies having ever done so.
• In Plain Sight is a serious, dramatic case dealing with The Bureau mole. It also has Jack completely sloshed with a Necktie Headband. Interestingly enough, Jack doesn't wear a tie, and it looks like Dupont's
• Murder, He Wrote returns Lars to The Bureau following Angela's arrest. While it quickly turns depressing because He starts moping that his whole life is a big joke, it starts out hilarious, with Lars completely plastered and Jack acting as Cloud Cuckoolanders Minder.
• The AI of Shadow Nation has Sanjay playing the guiro, and Elliot showing disdain at it. When Elliot starts telling Sanjay what he thought of as good music, Sanjay reveals that he knows of Elliot secretly listening to Vanna Alabama when he thought no one was looking, to which Elliot simply blushes and starts stuttering.
• In Cheaters Never Win, Michelle tries her hand at telling jokes. Here's her sample.
  What did the scientist say to solids, liquids, and gases? Does it even matter?
  • There's also Jack and Michelle's Mushroom Samba in the Additional Investigation, due to mistaking a hallucinogen for coffee. Chief Ripley's reaction afterward only makes it funnier.
• In Up in Smoke, Jack is dared by a suspect to prove he's a master of disguise by trying to pass off as a girl. His resulting meeting with Lars is hilarious, with Lars even asking to write a poem about "her".
• In Double Trouble, Jack is hospitalized due to being shot by the killer, and the first thing he does when he recovers is call Carmen while completely stoned on painkillers.
  Jack: CARMEN! It's your old buddy, Jack! I was te-phe-loning to let <name> know I'm ok and I'm ready to catch the killer!
  Carmen: Jack! Where are you calling from?
  Jack: The hop-si-tal! I mean, the hos-pi-tal! But I'm fine, dude! I'm ready to fight bad guys!
  Carmen: I don't think so. Get some rest. We're doing all we can to find the killer!
  Jack: Well, keep me in the loopty-loopty-loop!
• In Politically Incorrect, Sanjay teases Elliot about listening to Vanna Alabama again, to the latter's dismay. In the AI, Sanjay decides to get Elliot her autograph, but he also ends up secretly giving her his phone number as well. Elliot only finds out at the very end of the case.
  Elliot: You did WHAT?!

Mysteries of The Past

• In the Name of the Father has Richard high on mushrooms during autopsy.
• Let Me Down Gently introduces us to drunken Maddie.
  • At the beginning of Chapter 3, Diego tries to escape the crime scene, "tries" being the key word.
• In Giving up the Ghost, Constable Ramirez mistook a luminescent Dick for a ghost.
  Dick: Not even the moon... Gleaming in the sky... Can compete with the brilliance... of luminescent I...!
  Constable Ramirez: Can you see the ghost? It's right over there, moaning away!
• In Best Laid Plans, we find Dora Umbright’s hand-knit sweater-vest for our victim. It’s horribly tacky, covered in floating hearts. Predictably, he rejects her.

The Conspiracy

• In Snake in the Grass, Jones screaming at a snake.
• In Stonewalled, Jones learns he has to encounter Constance Bell again... and he's not happy at all.
• In Shooting Star, reporter Louis Leroux completely character assassinates the victim's "prowess" just to go viral in a particularly scathing fashion.
  • In the same case, both Rupert and the player character, both pretty much not given to frivolity in-universe, get invited to a party by the movie star Savannah Blake. It's heavily implied that both Rupert and the player character get totally shit-faced.
• In Hot Mess, the team celebrates the Chief’s birthday... with strippers... and then Ramirez pops out of a cake... naked. Jones is understandably mortified.
  Jones: Is it safe now? Has Ramirez put some clothes on?
  • He later asks Gloria never to speak of this again.
• In Murder on the Dance Floor, in order to better understand the killer's psyche, Gabriel ends up getting high off of a drug called Scrappy Snacks and professes his love for the player.
• In the Additional Investigation of Writer's Blocked, we are treated to a lecture by Ray Parker... that Jones ends up falling asleep to.
• In Muddying the Waters, Jones loses his footing and falls into some dirty water. When he resurfaces, there is a frog on his head which starts nuzzling his hair. When Jones says that he wants to get himself cleaned up, the frog is actually shown throwing its arms up in frustration.
• In Bone of Contention, Gloria and the player are looking for a suspect's missing pug. Shortly after the player puts together a Frisbee, said pug comes out of nowhere and bites it while it's still in Gloria's hand.
  • Later, Rita ends up stuck with baby Sammy, and she comes to ask the player for help since she has no idea what to do with a crying baby.
• In Blood in the Water, after calming down an angry mob that resulted from the mayor's murder, Jones remarks that he hadn't been that nervous since he played a donkey in a school nativity play.
• In In Vino Veritas, Christian Bateman's suspect profile titles him as "Wealthy Psychopath."
  • Later, Martine is shown getting into an argument with a fellow Frenchman over whether American or French wine is better.
• Pay attention to Amity Malone's therapy axolotl in Dearly Departured. His expressions either hilariously mimic his neurotic owner - except for when even he's exasperated with her hysteria.
• In Out of Breath, Ramirez has Rita try some pico de gallo in order to see how spicy it is. This is her reaction upon eating some.
  • Afterwards, she surrenders her spicy food crown to the player... as in your reward is literally a spicy crown.
• In Running Scared, Jones and the player find a pile of clothes next to the van used to transport Carter. Said clothes belong to James Savage, who shows up behind a bush, naked.
  • James' suspect picture for the sticker album is him naked behind the bush.

Travel In Time

• In Summer of Death, Jack gets high again since World Edition, this time on marijuana-laced cookies.
• In Pride Comes Before the Fall, Theo, Zara, and Kai get caught intimate by the team.
• In Till Death Do Us Part, Leonardo Da Vinci is finally able to use his notes to create a working time machine prototype, and tests it by going ten minutes into the future while Kai and the player watch. It works, but right before he appears Kai has a slight Freak Out:
  Kai: Oh god, <name>, what if he's accidentally jumped back to prehistory, and he's been eaten by a dinosaur?!
• After the killer is caught in Back to the Future, the team can't hand them over to the authorities because they're wanted criminals in this timeline. They end up detaining the killer by trapping them in Chief Scott's bathroom.
• In A Mongolian Tale, Jack and the player try to confirm with the killer if Ammon is the foreigner who convinced her to kill the victim. She does... and with the way Jack does it, has some follow-up questions.
  Jack: (holding Ammon's picture) We want to know if this image is of him. Look at his face closely.
  Erhi: What is this parchment? It is so lifelike! It is EXACTLY the foreigner's face! How did you capture his likeness so precisely? And what is he wearing?
  Jack: Um... <Player> is a talented, and creative, artist. DO you know where we can find the man in the image?
  • From the same case, seeing the camel resting lovingly on Kai's shoulder as he is confused and uncomfortable about if it on the time machine.
• Zara's attempt to translate Chinese text while Penelope and Orlando are occupied doesn't go too smoothly. It initially comes out "These pretzels are making me thirsty" so she tries again and gets the proper message.
• In Time's Up, we get this gem from Chief Scott:
  Amy: And how about things in 2029? Are they going alright?
  Chief Scott: Of course not! Everything's going to hell in a handbasket!
  Amy: Oh no! What happened? What's wrong?
  Chief Scott: Everything! They just got rid of all the Carioca chips in the vending machines! They were my favorite!

Supernatural Investigations

• In One Bigfoot in the Grave, a giant bull skull lands on top of Luke's head and gets stuck on him.
  • From the same case, Luke's first exchange with Priya:
    Priya: <Name>, this sample is of the victim's blood! But there's evidence from your killer mixed in it too!
    Luke: Wow, did you get all that by sniffing it? Like, with your werewolf nose?
    Priya: No, Luke. I am a scientist, and I use highly specialized scientific instruments.
• In Immortal Combat, Luke calls Fabien "Fabien de la Creep" after the latter keeps trying to hit on him.
• Zeke Davis' first appearance in Bad Vibes, where he's trying to look for a "celadon dragon" lizard. Gwen mistakes this for an actual dragon, prompting this line.
  Gwen: Sir, have you consumed an illicit substance today?
• In Hashtag Murder, while Gwen is doing a recap of their investigation, a spider crawls into her hair, causing her to freak out.
• In Mad World, Felix puts on a Hannibal Lecter-esque mask to try and scare Luke, only to have it get stuck to his face, causing him to freak out.
• In The Ghost of Murders Past, we learn that Arthur Darkwood and Zeke Davis are both scared of the dark, which becomes hilarious with the revelation that both of them are demons in disguise.
• In the middle of A One-Wolf Open Slay, a werewolf sighting happens at the holiday market, causing mass panic among the crowd. Said "werewolf" turns out to be (the real) Santa Claus's reindeer, Rupert, wearing a derpy werewolf mask that he had tried pranking the victim with.
• During Don't Die over Spilled Milk, Felix is harassed by a demented man who is thoroughly convinced that he is an alien because of the jacket he wears. What drives the scene home is Felix's response to Gwen suggesting he takes it off to save himself. And it works.
• Luke's embarrassment when he realizes he was romantically involved with Fabien after drinking a love potion in Over the Edge. Everyone in the team (even Jacob) teased him about it at the end of the Additional Investigation.
  • The fact that Morgana Blackhawk, the serious, no-nonsense leader of the witches' coven, of all people got catfished by the case's victim over a dating website.
  • The way the team gets Luke out of his trance is equally hilarious; they ask Cupid for his antidote (which turns out to be salad dressing) and administer it to Luke by shooting him in the butt.
• In A Murder of Crows, the team comes to the aid of Dolly Hale's dog, who has eaten some poisonous berries. Priya informs the team that the way to help the dog is to inject him with vampire blood. Dolly reacts thusly:
  Dolly: Sorry but WHAT?! Vampire blood? I don't know what drugs you're on, lady! But vampires don't exist! And I don't think I wanna leave my doggy with you!
• During one of the analyses in Hocus Pocus, the player and Gwen walk in on Priya making out with Zander, the latter running off when they get caught.
• During The Third Degree, poor Mathison keeps getting spooked by the victim's ghost, with his hair standing on end just like Jones's did.
• In The Hunted Hunter, when Gwen and Pierce reconcile and share a Big Damn Kiss, Gregg jumps in and tells them to get a room.
  • There was also Bathsheba attempting to teach a trapped Dolores Harper a song to sing whenever she got the urge to slay a creature...only to quit and let her go because Dolores was such a bad singer.

City Of Romance

• At the beginning of Murder a la Mode, because Carrie is still rusty at French, she messed up saying "Merci beaucoup" to a baker and accidentally said she had a nice butt. This made her panic because she needed to learn how to apologize in French.
• Hugo walking in on Enzo as he's about to take a sexy selfie to impress Lola du Maurier.
• In Beastly Behavior, Emilie getting so panicked about his date that he ends up passing out in front of Enzo.
  • Taken up to eleven when his date turns out to be none other than Clementine Lebrun. This almost doubles as a tear-jerker.
• Gauthier's reaction about learning his dad was a former drag queen in Dressed to Be Killed is a chuckle.
  • Enzo's attempt at winning a date with Carrie is chuckle-worthy, notably how it only backfires and annoys her.
• Enzo getting himself stuck on the trapeze in Juggling With Death and had to be rescued. He was so embarrassed that he pleased with the player not to tell Carrie.
• In Inglorious Batard where Carrie has to slap Emile to snap him out of his behavior. His reaction towards it is worth a chuckle also.
• Early Checkout: To memorialize Antoine Macaron, two mobsters shoot into the air while shouting "Love live the Pigeons and Rats!". A pigeon promptly drops dead at their feet. Their expressions are priceless.