Funny / Commando (1985)

• Diaz tries to intimidate Matrix after his daughter is kidnapped, wonderfully subverting the typical villain, "I Have Your Daughter" threat.
  Diaz: My people got some business with you. And if you want your kid back, then you better cooperate. Right?
  Matrix: Wrong! [shoots Diaz in the head]
• "Don't disturb my friend. He's dead tired."
• It's a very secure film that can mock its own fight scenes:
  Cooke: You scared, motherfucker? Cause you should be. 'Cause this Green Beret's going to kick your big ass.
  Matrix: I eat Green Berets for breakfast! And right now I'm very hungry!
  Cindy: [Trying to avoid the fighting] I can't believe this macho bullshit!
  • Later, the fight crashes into the next hotel room... while a porno is being filmed. Considering how some people love fight scenes as much as others love, well, loving, one has to wonder if the guy filming the porno decided to Throw It In!.
  • Better yet, look at their positioning. The woman is behind the guy.
• A Green Beret giving John Matrix a send off at gun point... before it hilariously backfires. Literally.
  Cooke: Fuck you, asshole! [pulls the trigger, but the gun is out of ammo]
  Matrix: Fuck YOU, asshole. [punches Cooke in the face]
  Cindy: [trying to avoid the fighting] These guys eat too much red meat!
• "You're a funny guy, Sully. I like you. (Beat) That's why I'm gonna kill you last."
  • "Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last?" ("That's right, Matrix. You did...") "I Lied."
  • To say nothing about the hysterically odd scream Sully lets out as he plummets to his death. For those who don't get it, well, it sounds like... "OOH LA LAAAAA!!!!". Very funny death scream. The Japanese dub's scream is also hilarious because of its hammy delivery.
    • Even funnier, said death scream is also sampled as one of the death screams for the terrorists in Operation Wolf 3.
  • "What did you do to Sully?" "I let him go."
• Officer Biggs describing Matrix at the mall:
  Biggs: Attention all units. Emergency on theater level, suspect six foot two, brown hair. He's one gigantic moth-er-fuck-er!
• Cindy gets one simply by reacting the way a normal person would if they were held hostage by a Heroic Comedic Sociopath.
  Cindy: You steal my car, you rip the seat out, you kidnap me, you ask me to help you find your daughter, which I very kindly do, and then you get me involved in a shoot out where people are dying and there's blood spurting all over the place, and then I watch you rip a phone booth out of a wall, swing from the ceiling like Tarzan, and then there's a cop that's going to shoot you and I save you and they start chasing me! Are you going to tell me what's going on or what?!
  Matrix: No.
  Cindy: NO? NO?!
  • There's at least one scene where Cindy Takes a Level in Badass: using the quadruple-barreled rocket launcher to flip-over the SWAT vehicle arresting John Matrix.
    Matrix: Where did you learn how to do that?
    Cindy: I read the instructions.
• Bennett's Chewing the Scenery when John tells him to lose the gun.
  Bennett: I can beat you, I don't need the girl. Ha ha ha, I DON'T NEED THE GIRL! [throws Jenny away] I don't need the gun John. I can beat you. I DON'T NEED NO GUN! [pulls out his knife] I'M GONNA KILL YOU NOWWW!
• Bennett's undignified, high-pitched scream after Matrix knocks him onto an electric generator, plus the fact that getting electrocuted seems to make him stronger, since he gets the upper hand on John afterwards.

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