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Funny: Bayonetta
  • After all has been said and done in the fight with Temperantia, the boss has been knocked down, his arms have been ripped off, and his face is a visceral mess. To add insult to injury, Bayonetta's used a gasoline tanker to make a cherub statue urinate gas all over him. She stomps down on the trail of fuel to ignite it, and the camera follows the flame as it gets closer to the boss... and then everything stops. The flame, the boss's laughter, even the music. There's a pause... and then Bayonetta gives the most annoyed, disappointed, do-I-have-to-do-everything-around-here sigh before she shoots over her shoulder without even looking. The bullet goes up the cherub's urethra. Cue Stuff Blowing Up and the statue's head flying into the air, crying gasoline.
  • Luka and Cereza's escape from near death on Isle del Sol, complete with Audible Gleam - for Luka, Cereza, and her doll, Cheshire!
  • Luka's awkward silence in response to the name of Cereza's toy cat.
    Luka: Is that cat your friend?
    Cereza: Yes, he is. His name's Cheshire. He's cute, isn't he?
    Luka: *frowning* 'Cheshire'... (under his breath) What a stupid name...
  • The finishing move for the Golem enemy. Bayonetta summons Hekatoncheir, a bunch of massive disembodied arms with super strength, and it proceeds to toss the Golem around like it's a volleyball...until the third pair of arms miss it. As soon as it misses, the music completely stops as the Golem falls and lands on the ground, with the same SFX as that of a lightweight ball (the Golem even bounces lightly like a ball, even though it's made of solid [magic] metal). Hekatoncheir pauses... Then the music kicks back in as it settles for just punching the shit out of the Golem until it's destroyed.
  • When Bayonetta meets Luka at the Sun and Moon valley, she tackles him to save him from a falling piece of the scenery. Instead of being surprised or scared, Luka is way too busy copping a feel of Bayonetta's ass. The best part? It's all in slow-mo.
  • It's assumed that Bayonetta calls Luka "Cheshire" because of his habit of popping up where she least expects him to...
    Bayonetta, poking her head through the sunroof: Hello, Cheshire.
    Luka: Shit!
    Bayonetta, greeting Luka as he climbs into the helicopter: Welcome aboard, Cheshire.
    Luka: Oh, fucking hell!
  • Bayonetta drawing Amaterasu's facial symbols on Luka's face with her lipstick, while she's invisible to him.
  • The angel carrying Enzo away in the prologue.
    Enzo: HEY!!! I'M NOT DEAD YET! You can't take me like this! It's against regulations, I tell ya!!
    • Just about any scene with Enzo is funny.
  • The ending scene.
    Jeanne: I swear, this is the last time I cosplay!
    • The scene during the ending where everyone believes Bayonetta is dead is quite a Tear Jerker, but then when she comes out from her coffin alive and remarks, "Next time, put me in a coffin with some air holes and less maggots," you won't be able to stop laughing.
  • The Beloved who falls for Cereza. His entire "romance" lasts one fight, but the sheer awkwardness of it will last all of Cereza's life.
  • Bayonetta chiding Cereza for crying.
    Bayonetta: If there's two things I hate in this world, it's cockroaches and crying babies! (Beat) Well, a crying baby cockroach would be truly terrible...
    • Cereza grabbing Bayonetta's ribbon when she turns to walk away in the same scene.
  • Cereza's attempts to mimic Bayonetta's pose when she's leaning against a wall with her arms folded is both hilarious and utterly adorable.
    • Then there's Cereza's little Asskicking Pose that she performs when she's talking to Luka in the same scene.
  • Luka's Precision F-Strike in the helicopter scene. It's preceded by him ogling Bayonetta's wet breasts, and followed by the camera zooming in on Luka's face, Cheshire, and Bayonetta's cleavage.
  • The first time Bayonetta wrecks Enzo's car. Her facial expression is priceless. And then during the credits, Bayonetta and Jeanne break Enzo's brand new car.
  • Bayonetta outdancing her "imposter"...and then said imposter revealing its true form after a quick fight.
    • Depending on your sense of humour, using a torture attack on the Joys for the first time. Probably because it comes the fuck out of nowhere, and looks like some S&M-type shit.
  • Chapter VII. Between Bayonetta's Precision F-Strike-laced sarcasm ("I feel like a fucking celebrity in this town!") and her abuse of the Fearlesses (especially the last one), the only thing that won't get you laughing is the boss fight.
  • Most of Rodin's one-liners when you enter The Gates of Hell.
    "Hold on... What'a'ya buyin'? Heard that in a game once."
  • Bayonetta starting a motorcycle using her middle finger.
  • The dodge move, when fully upgraded, allows Bayonetta to extend said move into a breakdance-headspin-kick-attack move. Hold it as long as possible, and she slides into a sexy pose and looks down the camera, causing the camera to click like a camera shutter.
  • When Bayonetta and Luka are outside the Vigrid Air Base, Luka uses his grappling hook to grab Bayonetta from a crumbling ledge, and then Luka holds her in his arms while romantic music plays, leading the player into thinking that there's gonna be a really romantic moment between the two of them...but right when the two are about to kiss, they fly away from each other while the music slowly comes to a halt, and then Luka slams into a wall. The whole delivery and timing of this scene is perfect.
  • When Enzo isn't around to be a Butt Monkey, the Affinities take his place with the gusto they put into (futilely) fighting you. While nothing really happens to them in gameplay, they often receive the most demeaning and humiliating punishments of any angel in cutscenes. Case in point: The angel that Bayonetta surfs on? Yup, it's an Affinity.
    • Besides the Affinities, there's that one Fearless that appears in the cutscenes of the Temperantia boss battle. Bayonetta throws it in Temperantia's face, and later (offhandedly) drops a tram right in front of it. It looks like it's breathing a sigh of relief, and then the tram tips over and squashes him. Kinda nice revenge on one of the more irritating enemies in the game.
  • Luka mentions that he's had flings with girls named Silvia, Trish and Claire. He's really talking about his pet cats.
  • The very fact that the Wii U version allows Bayonetta to dress up as Nintendo characters. Each of them have a cosmetic effect on the game, with some hilarious results.
    • Peach's costume replaces the Wicked Weaves with Bowser's limbs, complete with his roars.
    • According to the Nintendo Treehouse event at E3 2014, while Platinum was designing Bayonetta's Link outfit they were going to have the undershirt with it. Then Nintendo- which has a reputation of producing some of the most family-friendly games around- said to get rid of it because it would be out of character.
    • Just Bayonetta with the Link outfit. Why? She's wielding the Master Sword, something the likes of Bayonetta's standings should not be able to even get near! And the fact she's using it to kill heavenly beings make it even better!
    • One of the most ridiculous ones of all is Bayonetta dressed as Mario. What does she look like? She wears Mario's hat (with the M replaced with a B), and has his moustache!
  • In the anime film adaptation, the scene where Bayonetta confronts Luka after taking a bath with Cereza. Luka gets too distracted by her wet, bouncing breasts that he ends up falling out of the window, and then Cereza says, "Look, the old guy is dead!"
  • Jeanne's description for the Bloody Moon weapon. Starts off normal at first, going on about demons in the weaponry, but then right the fuck out of nowhere starts talking about how Jeanne, disguised as a high school teacher, used the weapon to cut the ribbon and start class on the "finer points of justice" and defend her students.
    • Her superhero name: "Cutie J"
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