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Funny / Battleborn

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SCRIPTS ARE FOR LOSERS!!

As expected of Gearbox Software, the creators of Borderlands, Battleborn has quite the humor.

    open/close all folders 

     Trailers 
  • In the midst of the otherwise serious Rendain trailer, the eponymous villain suddenly goes berserk and breaks the camera when he sees some of the Battleborn show off their "butt theatrics". The screen then briefly shows off a "Oopsy! We'll be right back..." message with a drawing of a ridiculously chibified Rendain chewing on some electrical cable before resuming his broadcast. And then latter as if Rendain getting mad during this moment wasn't enough, the devs in an interview elaborate further on what's he apparently got against butts:
    Well, you’ve seen him right? I mean, Rendain doesn’t really have a derriere, just more of a place where his back forks into legs. So, it’s probably just jealousy.
  • The wonderfully demented Skills Overview for El Dragón has Banda music supplying the background for the entire video. With the tone of the music playing combined with El Dragón's personality as he displays his skills, the whole thing comes off as a silly but awesome experience that successfully describes the Space Luchador.
  • From the Battleborn Bootcamp Trailer:
    • In-Universe, the trailer's set up as a sort of Battleborn recruitment ad in a film studio complete with green screen and all. However instead of following the script and cue cards, Oscar Mike decides to do the ad in his own over the top way. This amounted to him Motor Mouthing through the entire thing, skipping a lot of info, and basically failing at being a proper Mr. Exposition. Near the end of his spiel, a pink holographic tutu appears on him for some reason which he clears away. At the end, he poses dramatically with his gun pointed upwards atop his shoulder and shoots, cue bits of debris from the ceiling falling onto his head which don't faze him at all.
    • In the background near the end of Oscar Mike's speech, Benedict accidentally angers Thorn and gets his ass whooped by her.
    • A host of a Cosmosparody has trouble processing the concept of there being more than one star in the Universe, thanks to the Varelsi consuming all but Solus.
    • Exasperated at Oscar Mike not following the script, ISIC decides to take over. Though better executed, he obnoxiously frames the whole recruitment ad as one more for the LLC rather than for the Battleborn.
    • Having demonstrated to Oscar Mike on how to do the ad more properly, ISIC is confident that the clone soldier would stick the script the second time around... only for the Magnus to turn and drop his jaw in shock at the scene that Oscar Mike decided to film. Completely ignoring ISIC's demonstration, Oscar Mike decided to film himself as a bandana wearing hero heroically shooting Atop a Mountain of Corpses with El Dragón clinging to his leg via the typical pose amidst a burning battlefield with a flag waving and airships flying in the background. ISIC can only sigh at this just as the studio's fire sprinkles go off.
    • Later, Gearbox released a cut-down version of this trailer, featuring only Oscar Mike's version, implying once again that ISIC just can't win and that Oscar Mike's trailer is the one they went with.

     The Battleborn themselves 

All Of Them

  • Every single one of the Battleborn have a specific set of voice lines whenever they see a copy of themselves on the enemy team. This goes from generic descriptions like "Enemy Death-Machine!", but it can also go incredibly personal and hilarious when they acknowledge the strangeness and the discomfort of fighting a close of yourself.
    Orendi: Hi, Orendi, it's meeeeeee, Orendi!
    Toby: Aww, look at how cute he is--damn it!
    Thorn: (dryly) Is this a joke? Is this where I'm supposed to laugh? Har-har-har...?
    • Additionally, they also have unique lines when they kill their clones. Some of them are the victor assuring themselves of their superiority, but sometimes nets some unique responses:
    Shayne and Aurox: (suddenly, unusually quiet)
    Shayne: (solemnly) That was weird.
    Aurox: Agreed.

Alani

Ambra

  • Her audio log on why she turned against the Jennerit Empire starts out serious enough... then devolves into her in the midst of shrieking rage at how Rendain has a Mister Muffykins named Constable Cuddles, acting as if this is somehow the most heinous thing he's done.
  • She is a devoted stickler to tradition and formality, as exemplified by this quote:
    I will not rest until every shirt on this planet is tucked the fuck in!

Attikus

Benedict

  • His legendary gear, "Air Mail" AGM Loader, has this Shout-Out to Oprah as its flavor text:
    "You get a rocket, and you get a rocket... EVERYONE gets a rocket!!" — Benedict
  • ALL of his dances, especially because your enemy will be forced to watch it if you do it fast enough after the kill.
    Benedict: You suck! You suck! You suck!
    • On top of that they're not just dances, they're every single one of the chicken dances from Arrested Development. To add to that is a line that implies that not only does Arrested Development still exist in the futuristic world of Battleborn, but Benedict has watched it.
    Benedict: I saw this on TV once!

Boldur

  • Boldur's shield according to one of his lore challenges turns out to have been crafted by Boldur from the codpiece of an Ekkuni golemic guardian. What makes this even more hilarious in an ironic sense is that Boldur doesn't wear any undergarments.

Caldarius

  • The A Vision of Solitude lore challenge is a collection of excerpts of Caldarius' solitary audio log which chronicle a slow descent into madness, but it gets funnier with his deadpan delivery of the words "Yup, losing my mind".
    Caldarius: Year whatever-the-f**k. It's my birthday. I don't have big plans, so I was thinking me and Data Recorder would go for a long walk in the woods, take in some scenery. Then, after a romantic picnic, we would talk of Rendain, my plans for beating him into a pulpy stew. We did the same thing last year, but Data Recorder doesn't seem to mind. That's what love is, you know.
    • His next log after this shows that he's completely gone way beyond insane.
    Caldarius: IT'S TUESDAY! TUESDAY'S THE DAY I THINK ABOUT KILLING RENDAIN! TOMORROW IS WEDNESDAY! WEDNESDAY IS ALSO THE DAY I THINK ABOUT KILLING RENDAIN! THE DAY AFTER THAT IS-
    • It's at this point though Deande came in to save him. The nervousness in her voice after he replies to her followed by a Mood Whiplash in her tone delivered by her obviously blatant lie sells it at the end of this whole thing.
    Deande: There he is! Caldarius! Caldarius, can you stand?
    Caldarius: I WANT TO KILL RENDAIN!
    Deande: And you shall have your chance.
    (Deande turns away, calling to someone in the distance.)
    Deande: Yeah, he's fine! Bring the suit!

Deande

  • Deande's "Levity" taunt has the otherwise serious spy mistress perform the stupidest most out of character face she's capable of.

El Dragón

  • El Dragón's audio lore details what happened after his match with ISIC in which the Magnus tore off his arms. Rather than being given immediate emergency medical treatment for his injuries, he's instead interviewed by a reporter on his match while his wounds are still fresh and he's screaming with pain and confusion. As if this wasn't enough, the reporter asks him that due to the CWF's prohibition on cybernetically-augmented organics in competition, what would be his retirement plans as a result of this Career-Ending Injury. He protests that he'll never retire but is shot down when told that CWF has already ruled against him. Either because of the shock of this development, loss of blood, or both, he passes out and collapses. The reporter as well as the rest of the news media continue on after that as if nothing happened.
    Hardcastle: Anyway, we now go live to our own Manny Fetzer, backstage at the Arcfleet Arena, for a word with the fallen champion.
    Fetzer: Thanks, Dave. El Dragón, you were the longest-reigning champion in CWF history before tonight's crushing defeat. What happened? How did ISIC succeed where so many other have failed?
    El Dragón: HE RIPPED MY ARMS OFF, YOU IDIOT! GET OUT OF MY LOCKER ROOM! WHERE IS THE DOCTOR?! WHERE ARE MY ARMS?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

ISIC

  • The Ocoban Mining Exploration Report lore challenge of ISIC's has a bit of humor at the end. In the report, after several personnel die; noticing equipment suddenly disappearing with no explanation; Minion RBX units being reported having bizarre behavior; strange energy signatures found popping up throughout the cave network that grow more intense and frequent by the day; and the discovery of a weird arm gun cannon thing that doesn't match to any of the Aztanti tech scouted previously, the writer comes to only one conclusion. The caves are haunted by ghosts equipped with incredibly advanced face-melting arms cannons. Since that can't possibly be true by the writer's own admission, he simply concludes the report describing himself shrugging in a very exaggerated fashion.
  • Pretty much anything that comes out of ISIC's mouth is hilarious, especially when you're playing as him.
    ISIC: Like a majestic bird of prey, all I see are things I want to kill!
  • ISIC provides a rather fitting quote to serve as the flavor text for a piece of gear named The Pacifier:
    "Hey, you big baby! Suck on this!'" — ISIC

Kleese

  • Kleese's explanation on the Hidden Charger gear which also serves as its flavor text:
    "Yes... it LOOKS like a magazine, but it's also a charger for my mobile com!" — Gunnar Kleese
  • Kleese's legendary gear, Energetic Refractor, has an amusing unsure quote of his as its flavor text:
    "I am quite almost positive that this will not harm you. Possibly." — Kleese
  • His taunt "Call of the Cantankerous" where he will show his surprising spryness by getting up on his chair and dancing. He may even sing "Boom Shaka Laka," of all songs!

Marquis

  • The flavor text for the Premium Health Plan gear provides Marquis' opinion on affordable healthcare:
    "Affordable healthcare?! Ahahahahahahahaha..." — Marquis d'Caliber
  • There is something inherently funny about the slapping noise made by his glove whenever he uses his quick melee attack, made better by the fact that you can perform two of them in quick succession.
  • If you dominate an enemy Phoebe, Marquis will sadly remark, "I am SO fired." Humorously, a Phoebe dominating an enemy Marquis will shout, "You are SO fired!"

Miko

Montana

  • The Running Gag that he has a disproportionately tiny head.
  • If you take the upgrade that allows him to fire past the Overheat limit at the cost of health, he will comment about the obvious downsides of firing a gun WAY past its normal operating temperature.
    Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
    (makes several high-pitched yelps of pain)
    Hey guys, does anyone else smell burning flesh—oh crap, it's me.

Orendi

  • Orendi's audio lore is hilarious on it's own, but includes this gem:
    (Cackling from Orendi, underscored by crashes and shattering glass)
    Gendarme: Heinous crimes detected. Stand by for updated charges.
    Orendi: Might wanna hold off on that for a sec, computer fella!
  • As to be expected from sharing voices with Tiny Tina, Orendi has two modes. Comedy and murderous comedy.
    Guys, guys guys guys. Would you be grossed out if I ate that thing?
    Power tastes like lemons!
    Why aren't you on fire right now?
    Take one badass. Dice him to cubes. Add half cup Orendi. Blend until their ain't a dry eye in the house!
    Third degree burns are how I show affection!
    Hey it's my dad! No wait it's a varelsi.
    (in a normal voice) Hi I'm Orendi. Thank you so much for inviting us. We hardly get out anymore and oh my god I love this kitchen.
    (in a happy normal voice) Dear everyone. I got shot in the face! Hugs and Kisses, Orendi.

Oscar Mike

  • Oscar Mike's... attempts at poetry. Hey, at least he's trying to enrich himself.
  • The Something to Ugly Cry About lore challenge is both equal parts funny, tearjerking, and heartwarming. On the audio log, Oscar Mike tries recording his personal thoughts not realizing it's not his diary he's talking to but the Magnus Nova recording the conversation. The normally battle enthusiastic badass soldier unknowingly pours out his true feelings to Nova on the matter of being a clone trooper among people he feels like he can finally open up to. He confesses his deepest thoughts and Nova can't help but relish at this juicy otherwise confidential info being accidentally revealed to her. By the end, Oscar Mike pretty much descends into Inelegant Blubbering by the sounds of it and Nova's comments. When he finishes and asks his "diary" to bring back Nova, Nova "comes back" and makes the excuse that she definitely didn't listen to anything that he said. Still unaware of what actually happened, Oscar Mike makes the excuse that it was good that she didn't hear as it was "manly poetry about killing stuff" that's "not appropriate for lady A.I.s".
    Nova: I know. I know all about that. Getting kicked out by Mikes. Hey, are you about to start crying?
    (Oscar Mike does indeed sound like he's about to start crying.)
    Oscar Mike: But now - but now that I'm here, I got all these cool new friends, and everybody's REALLY supportive, and I feel like I can drop this ultimate badass charade, and really let people in for the first time, like - y'know what I'm saying, diary?
    Nova: Oh my god, this is amazing. All hands to the bridge, Oscar Mike is having an ugly cry.
    (Oscar Mike is inconsolable.)
    Oscar Mike: I DON'T EVEN CARE IF WE DON'T SAVE THE STAR, BECAUSE I'VE FOUND PEOPLE I REALLY CONNECT WITH! AND THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO ME, AND I FEEL LIKE I'VE GROWN A LOT AS A PERSON!
  • Oscar Mike's legendary gear, Tactical Accelerator, has for its flavor text a quote of his which highlights his personality:
    "I am going nowhere. FAST!'" — Oscar Mike
  • This quote: "All units! This is kinda fucked up! Like, when you think about it!"
  • You'd assume that Oscar Mike's quote when using his Airstrike ultimate ability would be warning people it's coming. It is, but it's also hilarious, especially when he gets the Orbital Laser upgrade.
    Attention all units! Space lasers are awesome.
  • One of Mike's quotes boils down to him remarking that he's "on the move" and then lamenting the fact that there isn't a snappier way of saying "on the move."* 

Pendles

  • Pendles' Toxic Lifestyle lore challenge is a message chat between Pendles and Alani regarding his people's natural limb molting process. Not wanting to lose his limbs as it would impact his business, he asks his fellow sea buddy if her "nanowhatzits" could help with his predicament. He tells her what symptoms he's been experiencing, nothing too worrisome according to him. However just as he states this, his message suddenly becomes drivel mid-sentence and his computer's auto-dictate activates.
    OH SWEET MOTHER, MY BLOODY ARM FELL OFF!

Phoebe

  • Phoebe's audio lore, which takes place during Phoebe's childhood, and has Marquis try to convince Kid!Phoebe to put down a phase distorter... only for Marquis to snap, and try to SHOOT Kid!Phoebe. What sells the scene is how Phoebe isn't even scared by the end of Marquis' rampage, and acts more like a tattle-tale Annoying Younger Sibling.
    Marquis: "I... oh. Oh my. Young miss, I am dreadfully sorry, but I... I don't know what came over me!"
    Kid!Phoebe: "Dad! Daaaad! The butler just tried to kill meee!"
  • From Phoebe's The Sky is Falling lore challenge which is a Battleborn Recruitment Semi-Mandatory Background Check report on Phoebe by Kleese to Ghalt:
    • For the topic of the report Kleese writes: Phoebe Elizabeth Audelia Hemsworth IV (a.k.a. "Miss Snot-Nose-Silver-Spooned-Puffy-Pants")
    • For her Species, Kleese writes: Female Human, Sadly
    • For her Skills/Accreditations, Kleese writes them down with some comments of his:
    Known to be an eccentric inventor, focusing on non-cybernetic solutions to problems (disappointing). She claims to have succeeded in blending Eldrid "magic" hoo-ha with LLC tech to craft cerebrally-directed sabers. (I did this with foam rings when I was five. Just FYI.) She is also a capable fencer. (Did I mention sabers?) Claims some skill at dancing. Likes to float, apparently.
    • Just before listing down Phoebe's stats, Kleese states he'll give his opinion on her afterwards which he says is frankly the only thing Ghalt should really care about. After listing down her stats, he's about to give his opinion on her however just as he barely starts, Ghalt immediately ends the line along with a simple comment, "Got it. Let's recruit her."
  • The Dancing Lessons Pay Off lore is a basically a complaint letter by Phoebe's dance instructors to Marquis. In it, it recounts how a bratty young Phoebe caused wanton damage to several highly expensive valuables and terrorized the other students with her sword levitating tech.
  • From Phoebe's Addonexus lore challenge which is basically an advertisement of her Phasic Blade System:
    • One part of it shows that she has an arrogant Tony Stark-like personality.
    "Cerebral control has applications in business, services, transportation, and countless other industries," said Hemsworth. "Also, my technology is better than everybody else's."
    • At the end of it is a disclosure that shows the general corporate assholeness of the LLC.
    *Hemsworth Intelligence Enterprise and the LLC are not responsible for death, dismemberment, property damage, or discomfort of any kind resulting from the use of the Five Virtuesâ„¢ Phasic Blade System or MageTechâ„¢. The user accepts all responsibility upon purchase. No returns. No refunds. If you or a loved one has suffered loss of life/limb directly from use of the Five Virtuesâ„¢ Phasic Blade System or MageTechâ„¢, please return all parts to a local LLC representative so they may be sold to a more suitable, living customer.
  • Phoebe's calm, playful disposition occasionally breaks to hilarious effect.
    (when blinded) I don't need to see you to stab you repeatedly!
    (after respawning) Oooh, they are SO getting stabbed with telekinetic swords!
  • If you dominate an enemy Marquis, she will shout, "You are SO fired!" Humorously, a Marquis dominating an enemy Phoebe will sadly remark, "I am SO fired."

Rath

  • Rath's catchphrase calls to mind a certain... infamous quote from a previous role of his voice actor.
    Rath: IT'S AFTER NINE-THIIIIIIIIRTYYYYYYY!
    • The Spider Sentries from Incursion will sometimes bug Rath to say this when the latter's nearby. What makes this doubly funny is that the Spider Sentries are, like Rath, also voiced by Christopher Sabat.
  • Rath's "Keeper of the Blade" taunt has him lick his blade. Occasionally however, he may add "Ow! Ooh, bad idea." for apparently accidentally cutting himself.
  • Rath's "I'll Just Leave This Here" taunt has him do a Mic Drop with one of his swords. Compared to the other taunts that were somewhat serious, this one is just silly.
    Rath: ANNNND... we're done here. (Mic Drop)
  • The flavor text of the appropriately named Vampiric Vestment gear is a quote by an irritated Rath on the whole him being called a vampire thing:
    "Next person who asks, I'm just going to say, 'Yes, I'm a vampire. Bleh!'" — Verod Rath
  • Some of his on-kill quotes are hilarious.

Reyna

  • The Make It Reyna lore challenge is an excerpt of a forum thread talking about her. Amidst the thread though is of all things spam.
    - LLC4EVA - 1 day ago
    TRY THE NEW M1.57 GUNBOT FOR ENHANCED PERFORMANCE FOR ALL YOUR ASSAULT ACTIVITIES. FREE SAMPLE WITH VALIDATED BIO-CRED ACCOUNT CODE. -> CLICK FOR MORE INFO

Shayne and Aurox

  • Shayne and Aurox's random battle dialogue is priceless.
    Shayne: Shayne and Aurox, teen detectives!
    Aurox: WE ARE NOT DETECTIVES!

Toby

Whiskey Foxtrot

     Missions 

Prologue

The Algorithm

  • ISIC's passive-aggressive threats towards your team throughout the mission is quite hilarious to hear.
    ISIC: Guess they're coming in whether I like it or not. And I really don't! I don't like that Sh*t at all!
    • Actually, ISIC in general, what with maintaining his unfailingly chipper tone no matter how angry, deranged, or pissed off he is.
    ISIC: You think this is game? This isn't a f*cking game! This is REAL LIFE! And get this: If you die in real life, YOU DIE IN REAL LIFE! Just something for you to think about! That's right, YOU, the one holding the controller slash mouse! I'm looking at YOU, Anthony!
    Ghalt: What the hell is he talking about?
    Kleese: I have no idea.
  • Geoff the spider sentry's insistence on being called "Arachnis, the Spider King" and ISIC's annoyance at the idea.
  • If Phoebe is picked for the mission, she may have a conversation with Kleese upon entering the bridge discussing ISIC being once Kleese's number 2. He tells her that he kinda treated ISIC like crap in the past and as a result the Magnus would most likely take his vengeance out at them in this mission. In response, Phoebe basically gets being mad at Kleese that they're getting punished for him being a miserable bastard.
    • Speaking of Phoebe, bringing her along has a chance to cause dialogue where she realizes what ISIC is trying to do and calls him out on it. It doesn't go well for her.
    Phoebe: The Algorithm. You're trying to crash the universe. Oh, you stupid, STUPID Magnus.
    ISIC: Hey, them's fighting words, lady!
    Phoebe: Come now, do you really believe all the cosmos exists in a simulation?
    ISIC: How else would you explain all the weird s*it going on lately, Ms. Hemsworth? Consider: The Varelsi, that bonkers-ass Eldrid "magic", the nigh-daily breaking of the laws of physics.. Shall I go on? I got a few hundred more.
    Phoebe: Well, yes, things have been a bit STRANGE lately, but come now - is that REALLY cause to believe that we live inside a computer?
    ISIC: Yup! And not only that: if the universe is a machine, consciousness is a cog. A cog built to experience pain, fear, loneliness, dread, doubt, accidental public nudity, rejection, neurosis, and abject despair. This machine was designed by monsters and is being operated by unconscionable beings.
    Phoebe: I AM SO BUMMED OUT RIGHT NOW!
  • Getting to the part of the mission where the path is blocked by laser vent hatches triggers one of a set of lines by the Mission Control characters explaining that the lasers should be disabled in order to move on. One potential line of dialogue in particular however involves Kleese, Nova, Ghalt, Deande, and Mellka all acting rather amazed at these "laser vent hatches made of lasers" like a bunch of dumb fate tempting kids.
  • One of the random lines that can occur at the frozen vents is Ghalt trying to break ISIC with a paradox. Should Montana be picked, ISIC has a chance of responding to Ghalt's attempts with...
    ISIC: Montana's theme song is stupid.
    Montana: Hey!
    • Hilariously enough, Ghalt reacts to every single one of ISIC's retorts as if it rocked him to the core. Yes, even "Santa Claus? Not real."

The Void's Edge

  • A piece of dialogue that can pop up at the start of the mission. Due to incredibly large Varelsi portals such as the one in the mission having a dizzying effect on AI, Nova the Magnus of the Battleborn's ship and one of the seemingly less crazy Magnuses gets a whole lot crazier when the portal suddenly surges. Basically, she becomes a drunken teenage girl.
    Kleese: Just get going already. Find me an LZ to drop off your armament for today's "dark business". We can make the drop, but I dare not take Nova any closer to that damnable portal.
    Nova: I said I'm FINE, DAD! I CAN FLY JUST FINE! GOSH!
  • Upon entering the loading area of the base, Kleese may ask Ghalt in a potential conversation about why the UPR keeps sticking giant robot arms on their buildings. Ghalt gives a very pun cringing answer as well as act like an excited kid when the loader arms fist bump.
  • The Wolf sentry, whose duty is to heroically sacrifice his life to close the portal... and has NO idea. Imagine Olaf's "In Summer" song. Kinda like that.
    • For extra black comedy points, some of the Battleborn straight up say, yes, the Wolf sentry is gonna die. He still takes it in stride.
    Wolf: I like you guys. We should hang out. What are you doing after the whole "blow up the portal" thing?
    Miko: We... PLAN to mourn your death.
    Wolf: NIIIIIICE! Count me in!
    • Even funnier if ISIC is on the team:
    Wolf: You fellas are swell. What are you doing after the mission? We should do something, because I will be both intact and alive, and not dead at all.
    ISIC: Dragging my large, metal butt over your unmarked grave! It's gonna be a great time!
    • Orendi on the other hand seems to think there'll be enough of Wolf left for her to... Well...
    Orendi: Digging through your guts to get to the good stuff!

The Renegade

  • In the beginning of the mission, Caldarius is more than reluctant to accept Deande's offer of a rescue.
    Caldarius: Hmph. I don't need your help. (A Jennerit capital ship warps in, complete with escort fleet.) Hmph. I might need your help.
  • This conversation between Hylis and Deande that can pop up:
    Hylis: Rendain doesn't take kindly to fugitives . Or the treasonous. Or anybody, really. He's basically not a kind guy. But I'm not here for you fools. I'm here for Caldarius.
    Deande: So are we. And since we've arrived first, we have, uh... what are they called, Kleese?
    Kleese: Oh! "First dibs."
    Deande: YES! First dibs! WE have first dibs, so I'm afraid you'll have to deal with US FIRST, you DIB! Pahaha!
    Hylis: Well, heck, if you insist.
  • Also this alternative conversation between Hylis and Deande that can pop up instead of the aforementioned one in the same place. Basically it has Hylis squeeing upon realizing just who he and his men get to kill:
    Hylis: Hey wait a minute, I recognize that voice. You're Deande, aren't you? Rendain's right hand?
    Deande: Not anymore.
    Hylis: Wow! Big fan! Just a big fan of your work, that's all. Man, I get to kill the high spymaster! Back at the prison, we mainly just deal with turncoats and heretics but this is... this is something special! Guys! Guys, we get to kill Deande! Yeah! The spymaster herself!
    Deande: Hm. Apparently I'm not as popular as I once believed.
  • If Phoebe is brought on the mission, there a couple of lines she may say about the titular character during the mission. Apparently, Phoebe has a thing for Caldarius.
  • Gearbox shows comedy's main point of subverting expectations beautifully with this conversation:
    Caldarius: I hope not. Hylis may be an idiot, but he persistent.
    Hylis: And handsome! You forgot incredibly handsome, Caldy.
    Caldarius: Oh. Yeah, he's pretty handsome.
    Hylis: Not the response I was expecting, but... thanks! You're a SWEETHEART

The Archive

  • One potential line of dialogue that can pop up has Kleese asking that instead of civilians, they're saving data. Ghalt proceeds to explain the importance of the Eldrid codex but immediately stop mid-sentence when he realizes that Kleese had just expressed a very un-Kleese concern for others. Kleese responds that it turns out that he does have feelings but immediately asks to never mention him having them again.
  • Kleese asks why they don't just wirelessly transmit the Codex. Ghalt explains that it's simply too big, and hands Kleese the manifest the High Observatory sent him. From the way he's straining, it's quite heavy. And then he dumps it on Kleese.
    Kleese: Ow! Those were my bones, you idiot! I need those, probably.

The Saboteur

  • The pre-mission briefing begins with Kleese explaining that the next mission will involve infiltrating a Jennerit energy refinery with a HILARIOUS staffing problem. For this particular mission, they've got a job for Nova to do. Cue her excitement on what this could possibly mean.
    Nova: Ooh. Ooh. Are you going to put me in the robot suit? Are you? Kleese? Robot suit. Kleese?
    Kleese: No, we'll digitally upload you into a network that you will hack!
    Nova: ... I guess that could be fun, too.
  • At the start of the mission, Nova may have this particular line which comments on the whole being an A.I. without actual physical legs.
    Nova: According to Deande's intel, a vulnerable terminal can be found not far from your location. Bring me to it, and I'll kick the door in. Figuratively speaking. Because I don't have legs, because I'm a Magnus. Anyway, go, or whatever.
  • A line of dialogue that can pop up near the start showing just how adorkably excited Nova is to be on an away mission:
    Nova: (gleeful giggle)
    Ghalt: I've never heard her do THAT.
    Kleese: Yyyeah, that was weird.
    Nova: (giggle) AWAY MISSIONS!
    • Upon meeting enemies at the control room, this line of dialogue can pop up.
    Nova: Please kill those guys as fast as you can so you can upload me into that terminal. Now. Do it now. Right now. Why haven't you done it yet? Do it now.
    • Later upon successfully defending Nova in the control room, her excitement continues with this potential line.
    Nova: I am so here right now. Woo! AWAY MISSION!
  • An alternative line of dialogue that can happen near the start of the mission has Ghalt explaining the importance of protecting Nova and her responding in sarcasm to it.
    Ghalt: If the Imperium doesn't already know we're here, they sure as hell will once Nova starts diggin' into the network. She's stored locally in that terminal - if it goes down, she goes down with it. After all, there's no "backing up" a Magnus.
    Nova: Thank you for reminding me of my mortality shortly before my mission, Captain. I mean it.
  • Upon starting the control room upload, Nova pretty much tempts fate.
    Nova: Hey, wouldn't now be an inconvenient time to be besieged by hostile forces?
    (hostile forces besiege the control room)
    Nova: Hostile forces, inbound! Defend the network terminal! Wow, that went south quick.
  • After completing the control room defense, Nova has this alternative line about what's nonchalantly been doing upon the upload's completion.
    Nova: Upload complete. I've gained preliminary access to the refinery's network. I'm playing Solitaire. Doing pretty good, too. What're you guys up to?
  • After exiting the control room, security goes off and closes the doors going further into the refinery. Cue Nova explaining what exactly happened.
    Nova: My fault. Turns out "password" wasn't the password. Wait, I know.
    • She tries typing in another password and unfortunately it's just as effective as her first try.
    Nova: "password12345"... Damn. These guys are good.
  • Upon exiting the foundry part of the mission, this gem which highlights more of Nova's enthusiasm may pop up.
    Deande: Nova doesn't get a chance to get outside the ship terribly often, does she?
    Ghalt: Since we've been working together, Nova's never been outside the ship at ALL, come to think of it.
    Nova: We never do anything fun. But this? This is way fun.
    Deande: Rather... spirited, isn't she?
  • Typically Ghalt or Kleese will comment when enemies are too near Nova's terminal and attacking it. Sometimes though, Nova herself is the one who comments when enemies are near her terminal.
    Nova: Enemy forces at the terminal. Defend your Magnus. That's me. Hi!
    • Or when enemies are attacking it.
    Nova: Ow. Ow. Damn. S**t. Ow. Help. Ow.
  • This exchange between Nova and Kleese when Foreman Grall apparently transforms:
    Nova: The Thrall is transforming. Kleese, please advice your comrades what to do next.
    Kleese: HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW?! KILL IT!
  • Upon completing the mission, Kleese congratulates Nova and she responds in a very adorable and child-like way.
    Kleese: YESSSSS! YOU DID IT, NOVA!
    Nova: I did. I did do it.

     Story Operations 

Attikus and the Thrall Rebellion

  • The basic gist of the entire story operation. It's supposed to be an account of the Thrall rebellion Attikus led via simulation however he has taken certain creative liberties on it. As a result, it's framed as if it were a typical Film Noir detective story rather than what actually happened.
  • In the first playthrough run of Attikus' account wherein Ambra hires him, it's revealed that Ambra's ulterior motive was to use him as a means to off her sister Aria as revenge for a certain incident. Said incident was Aria reordering Ambra's doll collection by hair color instead by last name alphabetically, something she did eleven thousand years ago. What makes this petty reason even more humorous is that Ambra makes this her primary reason for revenge more so than a slightly more legit reason which Aria later recounts, the incident in which Aria drowned Ambra's puppy Theodore on Ambra's tenth birthday.
  • There are three characters that Attikus casts in the role of a "Femme Fatale Lady in Red" client who hires him. These are Ambra with her red ceremonial dress, Deande with her spymistress attire that has red in it, and... Oscar Mike with lipstick on his helmet. Oscar Mike is definitely the odd one among the three and the instances wherein Mike plays the role, or at least as an accompanying companion, tend to be arguably the most comical.
    • Whenever the whole Film Noir segments come up, a typical jazzy score accompanies them. However for Oscar Mike, it's instead a horrible kazoo version of the score.
    • Oscar Mike tries doing the typical sultry Femme Fatale dialogue whenever he gets the chance but it's so bad that at one point Attikus tells him to stop talking like that. Mike asks why when the ladies got to do it and to this Attikus replies that it's a very specific cultural reference and Mike's just ruining it.
    • With Ambra and Deande, the two had reasons for wanting to kill Aria. In Oscar Mike's case, not only does he not know who Aria is but he isn't even trying to kill her in particular. In fact, he names her an honorary bro instead. Doesn't stop the battle with her regardless.
    Aria: You aren't trying to kill me? Even a little?
    Oscar Mike: I'm just here to hang out! With my bros! In fact, I'm naming you an honorary bro! I'll need your mailing address to send you your official bro certificate. It's laminated, so you can carry it around in your wallet.
    Aria: WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT?!
    • In general, while most of the characters in the story operation put actual effort in acting out and sticking to their roles of the simulation, with Oscar Mike however he completely and comically breaks the illusion of the simulation every time he participates with his quirky personality.
  • Before entering Aria's boss fight in the 4th playthrough of the operation. This exchange between Aria and Attikus occurs.
    Aria: The Thrall are INCAPABLE of leading themselves. The only thing you dogs will listen to is the smash of an iron fist!
    Attikus: Then it's a good thing I LITERALLY HAVE ONE OF THOSE!
    Aria: Well, s**t.
  • After the events of the 6th playthrough of the operation, the 7th one involves Attikus deciding to drop the whole act of playing a Film Noir detective a little and just simply blow steam off by running the simulation. It's one of the more Tear Jerker runs at its root as it reveals that he's been working through some serious emotional baggage by constantly replaying the simulation and killing Aria as a form of catharsis. That being said, there are funny moments in it providing a bit of Bathos in an otherwise serious situation.
    • This exchange between Oscar Mike and Attikus after the jammers are destroyed.
    Oscar Mike: Hey bro! It's your bro! What's good in this creepy hood? Need a case?
    Attikus: I'm not in the mood.
    Oscar Mike: That's cool with me! Maybe I could be the detective this time! Or... ooh! Or YOU could be a murderer!
    Attikus: Don't give me any ideas.
    • After the beacon is secured, this exchange occurs wherein Aria actually acknowledges being part of the simulation and that she's been killed repeatedly. What follows is basically a conversation between Oscar Mike and his honorary bro over Attikus dealing with some serious emotional baggage.
    Aria: Come to kill me again so soon?
    Oscar Mike: Shut up, lady! The big guy here is working through some serious emotional baggage, and he needs support from his best friends! Like me!
    Aria: Oh, I'd love to help. Would fighting for your life provide a suitable catharsis?
    Oscar Mike: Cat harness? No, I just let them walk around. All eight of 'em!
    Aria: (exasperated sigh)
    • After defeating Aria's forces, what starts out as Oscar Mike giving Attikus some pep talk turns into something more about the clone than the Thrall,
    Oscar Mike: Yeah! See, this is the good stuff! Boil those tears away in the fiery truth of combat!
    Attikus: I wasn't crying.
    Oscar Mike: Course not! You don't have a sweet helmet to hide your tears from onlookers such as children and small animals who have evolved the ability to point and laugh without understanding the hurt they're causin'!
    Attikus: Uh... is this still about me or —
    Oscar Mike: Probably!
  • The beginning dialogue of the 8th playthrough of the operation starts off Deande entering Attikus' office, apparently coming in to answer his call. Just as he gives Private Eye Monologue description of Deande, it's suddenly interrupted in the middle by Ambra coming in to apparently answer Attikus' call as well. Finding Deande in the room as well catches Ambra by surprise for which she asks what's going in. Oscar Mike then appears and reveals that he had called both Deande and Ambra pretending to be Attikus in an attempt to get them all together so that they can all make up for what's been happening with Attikus over the past few operation runs. Mike did so this way as it's something that always works on "One Star To Live" which he has never missed a single episode of. As heartfelt as Oscar Mike's attempt was, it just infuriates Ambra who leaves for which Mike tries to get back since it's going off-script to what he had hoped. Leaving Attikus and Deande behind, Deande figures that even if all that wasn't Attikus' idea, she does have a job for him. He agrees to it saying, "Anything to get away from him".
  • In the 9th playthrough of the operation wherein Attikus apologizes to Ambra for what happened in the 6th one, Attikus asks Ambra why she betrayed Rendain.
    Attikus: Tell me why you turned away from Rendain.
    Ambra: One crystal clear reason: he betrayed Empress Lenore. I swore an eternal oath to her, not to him or the twisted thing he wrought out of her empire. She would not have taken us down this path, committed the atrocities with which he sullies the Jennerit name every day.
    Attikus: Right, right—I also heard something about a dog?
    Ambra: That wretched, shivering little gremlin Constable Cuddles SLOBBERED on an AZTANTI RUG older than the EMPIRE ITSELF! AND RENDAIN JUST STOOD THERE COOING LIKE IT WAS A GIGGLING CHILD!
    • Later on after defeating Aria once again, Attikus and Ambra have this exchange where they apologize to one another.
    Ambra: Well done, Thr... Attikus. In truth, I once considered you little more than a brutish pawn. I hope you will forgive me that oversight.
    Attikus: And I'm sorry for ever calling you a radio antenna with a superiority complex.
    Ambra: When did you —
    Attikus: But that's all behind us now! I've got my sights on the future! I'll need your help to win this fight, if you still offer it.
    Ambra: Ahem. Yes. Of course.
  • The 10th playthrough operation run and "last episode" of the DLC story has Attikus finally realizing at the start that he is really bad at metaphors.
    Attikus: The Thrall were itching for freedom, and I was going to scratch that — wow, you know what, I am terrible at metaphors. Just really, really bad. I can't believe it took me this long to notice.

     Multiplayer 

In General

  • When characters encounter themselves on the opposing team, they'll sometimes respond to this by saying that the other's a clone, from an alternate dimension, and the like. Ghalt and Reyna in particular both have a certain funny line they'll sometimes respond with. Upon meeting their doppelgangers, they'll shout out asking for someone "to kill me" only to quickly realize that's probably not the best choice of words.
  • Throughout matches, Nova acts like the typical robotic battle announcer. However, sometimes she'll say something showing that she's just as crazy as the rest of her fellow Magnuses despite not showing it as prominently as them.

Meltdown

  • The basic concept of MINREC who features prominently in Meltdown. He's a Magnus in charge of a recycling facility who thinks he's a volcano god of sorts. Because of his capabilities, he's treated like such a deity and even feared as such mostly by other robots. Basically he's the trash compactor from The Brave Little Toaster only with a hammy wrathful delusional personality. The whole Meltdown match in fact involves sacrificing enough Minions to appease MINREC lest incurring the wrath of this crazy self-proclaimed robot god.
  • Many of MINREC's lines showcase how much of a Large Ham he is in his delusion
    The flames of rebirth are RISING!!
    MINREC approves of this battle and is live tweeting as HE SPEAKS!!
    This facility processes 14% of the LLC's total annual reclamation efforts! ARE YOU NOT INFOTAINED?!
    The cycle of recycling is neverending.
    Behold my majesty and TREMBLE!!
    The scrap shall be remade. All come. All are re-purposed.
    Behold the fel power of recycling.
    Your failure must be punished. FIVE TICKETS TO SMITEBERG!!
    Life. Death. Recycling. Environmental stewardship. MWAHAHAHAHA!!
    Sacrifice the crap outta something cute before I BURN THE WORLD TO ASHES!!
    Remember all LLC employees are required to wear hard hats on the facility floor. SAFETY FIRST!!
    You are appeasing the HELL outta MINREC right now. JUST AN FYI!!
  • MINREC will sometimes announce what his sacrifices would be recycled to. Many of which are very hilarious if not undeserving fates. These include being reborn as bicycle parts; soda cans; three ringed binders; plumbing; a mobile phone; aluminum roofing; corporate sculpture; paper clips; ironically another minion; bobby pins; disposable razors; hub caps; orthodontic retainers (which he announces as if he's wearing retainers himself); a fancy watch; a fork or something; a muffin pan; a cookie sheet; a sewer grate; a shopping cart with a wobbly wheel; a replica sword; irritating wind chimes; collectible lapel pins; and widgets.
  • The infernal reward MINREC offers for appeasing him is an "LLC little recyclers badge"... and not getting killed by him.

Incursion

     Miscellaneous 
  • Occasionally, Minions can be seen getting up to all sorts of hijinks behind and around the character in the main menu of the game.
  • If you pick up a piece of legendary gear from a loot pack, one of Nova's responses is....
    Nova: Oh, sh***t.
  • When you try to access Command without having the proper rank, Nova denies you access, in increasingly hilarious ways.
  • Upon gaining access to loot, Nova explains that most of the stuff is illegal but since the universe is ending, it's completely okay anyway.
  • Toggling info in the character selection gives a brief summary of a highlighted character, showing their classification, skills, and such. This works for all the characters including even the Random button itself◊. As indicative of the Random button, the info and skills summary of it provide nothing but a vague set of descriptions that can randomly apply to any character.
  • When you think about it, the core of Rendain's characterization is hilariously ironic - A character defined by their well-intentioned betrayal that just wants to be trusted, and CAN NEVER BE. Especially not by their underlings.

     Meta 

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