When Index's clothes explode due to Touma's hand. Made especially funny due to her very smug expression. Well, until she realizes what just happened.
Episode 8. This scene is paraphrased.
Touma: Stick out your tongue. Stiyl: Um, OK. (does it) Touma: This is for using me as bait and then leaving me to die, you son of a bitch! (uppercuts him)
Made a lot LESS funny once you realize this could have killed him.
Episode 9: Touma has been hospitalized -again- and the Doctor has some questions.
Doctor: You have been hospitalized two times in ten days. Say... do you have a nurse fetish? Touma: What are you talking about? Would I slice off my hand just for that? Doctor: A pity. *Sigh* And there I had hoped to find a compatriot.
When they are thinking of names for Misaka Imouto's cat.
Misaka Imouto: A cat named "Dog". Heh heh heh.
Misaka Imouto muttering about Touma, "What kind of guy throws a cat at someone?"
The end of episode 14. Touma wakes up in the hospital and Misaka Imouto has put his hand on her breasts.
Touma: I can't feel anything because of the anesthetic. Such Misfortune!
Touma freaking out over this eventually leads to him being bound in a straight jacket and wearing a Hannibal Lector mask.
Not to mention before that Index and Touma accidentally watch a porno. You only see their reactions and the tail-end of the show, but its hilarious nonetheless.
Index claims she found a really cute hat on the beach, right before plopping a jellyfish onto Touma's face.
Touma runs into a girl in a bizarre outfit, and comes to the conclusion that she must be someone he knows pre-amnesia, since he apparently knows all sorts of wierdos in strange outfits.
Touma cockblocking his own father by bursting into the room when his parents were about to have sex. Touma's mother is delighted and suggests they sleep together as a family, while Touma's father growls (though that was because his mother looked like Index of all people which what no one else seemed to realize means she looked like 10).
Touma: Oh hi Index, why are you peeking behind the wall. Index: You...you strangle me with your bare hands. And then you BURIED me into the sand up to my neck! Touma: I got a perfectly good explanation for that... Index: And then you slammed a door into me!! Touma: Hey, that wasn't me!! Index: And then you ignore me when I was nearly dead on the ground!!! Touma: Well, that was me... Index: GGGGRRRRR (CHOMPS Touma) Touma: Arrgh!! Such Misfortune!!
Last Order is pretty funny in general, but her introductory episode is particularly hilarious, especially when Accelerator trolls her. She asks him which apartment is his, but he gives her the wrong number, and she barges in on the occupants, much to her embarrassment. Despite being annoyed at him, she asks him for the apartment number again, and he does the same thing, and she falls for it again.
Ouma Yamisaka makes a dramatic entrance, trashing the restaurant Touma and Index were eating at. Touma angrily rants at Ouma for shredding his homework with his attack.
Touma's dad flirting with Oriana Thompson and Mikoto's mom. Followed by Touma's mom scaring the crap out of him with her jealousy.
Touma's mom: Touya-san, you're doing it again!
Misaka Mikoto's mother not-so-subtly implying that she should eat a lot if she wants large breasts.
Touma: (glancing at Index) "Eat a lot and get bigger, huh?"
The Ending of Season II: Episode 8. Pretty much all of it. In Order: Touma walks in on Komoe stripping Index and dressing her in a Cheerleader Uniform. Index attempts her flying face-bite and ends up KISSING him. Then Fukiyose happens in and beats Touma up. She leads him around like the henpecked dork he is and they have an Almost Kiss, immediately followed up by Fukiyose headbutting him... resulting in him face faulting into Oriana's massive tits.
Oriana: To repay for hitting you... would you like a kiss? Touma: I would like a kiss!
Episode 14 of Season II: When Touma was helping Orsola move by looking for newspapers, he finds two doors. He knows that there is a bathroom behind one of them. Straining his hearing, he identifies the shower as the one on the left, so he opens the right door. To find a naked Orsola. While decrying his fate, a nude Index appears from the left door. Both doors were bathrooms.
Touma: "THE RIGHT SIDE IS THE BATHROOM, THE LEFT SIDE IS ALSO ANOTHER BATHROOOOOOM!?!?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! THIS IS JUST HELL WAITING FOR ME ON BOTH SIDES!!!! ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS!!!! WHY ARE THERE TWO BATHROOMS IN THIS HOUSE!?!?!?"
Not to mention his reaction when he first opens the door. "Why didn't I just knock?"
Episode 15 of Season II: Touma's Imagine Breaker destroying the clothes of Agnese, Lucia, and Angeline. Angeline flipping Lucia's skirt. Touma falling on Itsuwa, with her friends yelling, "Now's your chance! Go for it!"
Episode 17 of Season 2, three of the Misaka Sisters realize that a fourth is not so identical upon learning she's taken up reading diet magazines and has lost weight.
Misaka will obey the prompting of her danger sense and run away now.
When Accelerator and Last Order meet Komoe-sensei for the first time, their reaction is to basically ask, "What the hell is this thing?" and discuss her as if she is not in the room, annoying her greatly.
Priceless- When Accelerator and Last Order move into Aiho's apartment in the novels, although unseen, it's heard. Accelerator had to give Last Order a bath.
Apparently he got soap in his eyes. Last Order milks it for all it's worth.
In the same episode, Mikoto and Touma's wtf reaction to Last Order running away with 10032's goggles. Whom calmly pulls out her assault rifle while running after her.
The scene with the theft has the highest concentration of the Sister's verbal tic in the series
Misaka 10032: "This Misaka is this Misaka and that Misaka is that Misaka" says Misaka as she advises Misaka to give up the attempt.
Episode 21 of Season 2, this scene:
Amata Kihara: That Aleister is out of this world. You claim to be a scientist, yet you reject science? What kind of scientist is that? (to his mooks) Did you guys notice the Bible has become a pop-up book? (Beat) What are you guys staring at? (turns around, sees Accelerator diving at the window) Oh, Crap!
Episode 23 of Season 2, Tsuchimikado and Touma are discussing the impending war in Academy City, and then comes one of the funniest Mood Whiplashes ever.
[Tsuchimikado is telling Touma that this isn't his fault, that the scale of war will be different from everything else they've faced before, etc.] Touma: "Tsuchimikado, I've made up my mind." Tsuchimikado: "Kami-yan..." Touma: "Yes, I'm... I'm going to start studying English!"
Episode 24 of Season 2, the drunk Mikoto's mom flirting with Touma and Accelerator.
In Volume 14, Misaka's pissed that Touma's cell phone treated an e-mail she sent it as spam. While looking through Touma's "Recieved Mail" folder to confirm that Touma isn't lying, she learns something else: Touma has her mother's phone number! When Mikoto calls her mother (using Touma's phone!), her mother tells her that she must have been drunk that night and doesn't remember the details. Mikoto calmly hangs up, returns Touma's phone, and asks Touma the following:
Misaka: "What the hell were you doing with my mother while she was druuuuuuuunk?!"
Also in Volume 14, Touma is taken by Tsuchimikado to France in order to deal with the C-Document affair. How do they get there? By taking a supersonic plane. Unfortunately in order to avoid giving away their intentions, Tsuchimikado opens the plane's luggage hatch and boots Touma out with a parachute before jumping out himself. The illustration for the scene is absolutely priceless◊.
In Volume 16, right before all the action that happened, we had a series of hilarious things going on. Ready? Here's the list.
Because of Touma, the class was about to miss lunch. The Delta Trio and Fukiyose had to run out of school to buy lunch, but it was illegal for them to do so. Being chased by a teacher, Tsuchimikado then offered Aogami Pierce as a sacrifice by using him as a step to get over the school fence! Then Itsuwa, who was acting as Touma's bodyguard, found that he was chased by the same teacher, and immediately went to fight said teacher with her spear after mistaking him for Acqua of the Back. Then after that, Itsuwa and Touma were walking together after school, getting all flustered. The Amakusa were stalking them, and to add some spice to their relationship, Tatemiya kicked a football that landed on Touma's head and pushed him into Itsuwa's breasts. With Mikoto watching too! Then Itsuwa wins Index over with her cooking, and Maika was so amazed by her cooking that she THREW the dinner she cooked for Tsuchimikado in angst. Then Itsuwa, Index and Mikoto met each other in the hot springs. Mikoto was thinking about Touma until she fainted from heatstroke.
At the end of volume 16, Kanzaki Kaori in a "ero fallen angel outfit".
In Volume 17, Index is amazed at how warm the and comfy the kotatsu is and sticks her head under for a peek. Just as she does this Touma farts inside of it. Needless to say Index was not amused.
In Volume 17, Touma pays a visit to England for a strategy meeting with the Queen of England. While being toured around the castle, the second princess, Carissa, notices that Touma is fooling around with his phone and asks for a photo. Soon, the two other princesses notice and try to join in, but are cut off by Queen Elizard:
Queen Elizard: "What do you think you're doing?" (the Knight Leader and Kanzaki nod in agreement) Queen Elizard: "This is England, the nation of the Queen! Why are you taking pictures leaving out the leading part?!" Knight Leader: "Ah, you fool! Don't show off your unrestrained love of festivities in front of someone from another country!! This is a strategy meeting!!" (the queen rushes over to Touma, but the Knight Leader tackles her.) (Touma takes a picture with Carissa and her sisters, at their insistence) Queen Elizard: (shocked) "Ah! You took it!! You really took it without me!! You can redo it! How about you take another one with me in it!?"
In Volume 18, Agnese hits one of the knights with a Groin Attack.
What was even funnier was the dominatrix mode she went into on the knight after said attack. Heck, she even threatened that she would shove her staff up his ass, for crying out loud!
Before the final battle Tatemiya reveals he used the confusion of the coup d`teat to get an erotic costume for Itsuwa just as Kanzaki is feeling thankful her embarrassing costumes were most likely destroyed Tatemiya mentions he was sure to save Kanzaki`s Fallen Angel Maid costumes both regular and 'ero'.
New Testament Volume 1: Touma makes his triumphantreturn, saving Shiage, Accelerator, and Fremea. His awesome return is cut short when Levinia Birdway out of nowhere kicks him in the nuts.
The drunken Touma managing to accumulate a large number of girls on his way home. From the descriptions you can work out that these girls are Himegami Aisa, Tsukuyomi Komoe, Fukiyose Seiri, Musujime Awaki, Kazakiri Hyouka and Kumokawa Seiria. And in every case the text, which is from Misaka's perspective, mentions how big their breasts are.
Kuroyoru Umidoru goes on a rant about Touma taking villains too lightly and fires a Bomber Lance at Touma when she tries to escape. His response, which completely undermined her very belief and existence, before moving past the subject: "Yes, yes, and here's Imagine Breaker."
The entire volume is one long string of funny moments interspaced with exposition and the occasional serious note. Drunken Touma calling Misaka Miko-chan, drunken Touma collecting about a dozen girls as he stumbles home, inciting the awe of Shiage, and the admiration of Accelerator for being able to balance both a normal life and a life of fighting. The above bit with Umidoru, compounded by Touma asking her if she has cat-ears and Misaka Worst finding some and threatening to put them on her. Last Order and Worst in sync upon feeling as though their place by Accelerator is being threatened by Fremea. The members of ITEM meeting Fremea. Birdway arguing with Fremea, and finally Lessar's reaction to finding out Touma has returned to Academy City.
Worst continues her trend of trolling everybody when she meets Misaka Mikoto, first attacking her for her borderline stalker tendencies (buying a couples pair ring when they aren't even going out) and then moving on to attack her true weakness.
Misaka gets love advice from the president and a little girl (the 8 year old parroting something he'd told her before). The little girl tells her to take off her bra in front of Touma and embrace him before he has a chance to react, while the president tells her to embrace him while wearing a string bikini and then untie it to send the message across. Bonus points for doing it nearby a Love Hotel. Misaka's reaction is to threaten to smack Robert Katze.
New Testament Vol 5: Touma thinks that Mikoto is Thor in disguise (to be fair, Thor fooled him by shape-shifting into Mikoto earlier), so he touches her chest with Imagine Breaker to destroy what he thought was a magical disguise. Mikoto is so shocked and embarrassed that Touma is able to leave before she snaps out of it.
Shiage and Saiai force Fremea and Umidori to go to the dentist.
Ollerus appears in front of Touma with a lot of really, really good information. Touma rushes past him full tilt with a shopping cart while this conversation takes place:
Ollerus: W-wait!! I thought this was a serious scene! Wouldn't you normally jump at the chance to learn about Imagine Breaker's identity? Why aren't you? Are kids these days really this dry? Waaaiiitt!! Touma: Shut up!! I'm afraid of what'll happen if I don't get this food! They already think I skipped out on the preparations up until now, so I can't just disappear after heading out to buy them lunch!! I'd end up with more than just a few bruises then!!
New Testament Vol 6: What does it take to get Mikoto to join Thor in facing off with a Saint? He tells her that Touma's being taken care of by another woman.
Thor: "I happen to have a photo of your friend Kamijou Touma-kun doing his usual thing by being nursed to health by some mysterious little blonde girl. What do you think about that?" Mikoto: "Tell me right this instant where he is."
At the end, Touma comes home and tells Index, "I'm back, baby." Index bites him.
New Testament Vol 7:
Touma wakes up in a dark room. He forces his way out... and finds himself in the girl's locker room of a prestigious academy in the School Garden! Hilarity Ensues as he fights for survival and tries to escape the enraged girls.
Umidori finds Fraulein Kreutune muttering in her sleep about dreams being tasty. Umidori goes WTF? and walks away.
Later on Touma sees two heroes, a bunny girl wearing a paper bag on her head and a stage performer dueling over the right to rescue Fremea. He just backs away.
The Tokiwadai Level 5s team up to track down Touma and find out what he was up to. For a very limited value of team up.
New Testament Vol. 8:
Touma wakes up to find Birdway and Lessar sleeping next to him in the bathtub. Of course, he gets bitten by a furious Index, and he finds that the girls broke a massive hole in his wall. He's horrified and wonders how in the world he will be able to pay for the damage.
The world leaders have a meeting. President Roberto Katze annoys everyone by loudly munching on a hotdog and reading a dirty magazine in front of everyone. He hits on Kaori Kanzaki and wonders why the Secret Service couldn't be made of hot, strong women like her instead of boring, muscular guys. His secretary angrily tells him to put his Raging Stiffie away. Later, he asks Queen Elizard to introduce him to her daughter. Annoyed, she tells him to just sit in the corner and use his hand.
Both Mikoto and Misaki (via a mind controlled pawn) come upon Touma sitting on a bench with Birdway on his lap and Lessar and Index next to him. When Misaki declares she'll find out what's going on with Touma by swarming him with assorted females, Mikoto decides this will probably end with him taking every single one of them and probably also Misaki herself home, and prevents that by picking up the bench with her electromagnetism and pulling it towards her, crossing a river in the process. Touma noted that the experience reminded him of the famous bicycle scene from ET The Extra Terrestrial.
Touma's group is trying to decide where to shop. Touma proposes they put it to a vote. Birdway gloats that she will obviously win because she has Dawn-Colored Sunlight backing her up. She texts them and asks them to vote for her. Mark Space texts back, "We don't have time for this nonsense. Have some sense." Birdway goes into a minor Heroic BSOD as she loses 3-1.
Touma is horrified that the girls are dragging him along swimsuit shopping because he knows how this will inevitably turn out. So he gets Genre Savvy and starts planning, in quite a bit of detail, how to avoid the changing rooms like the plague and just hang out unobtrusively in a corner of the store.
Mikoto picks out a modest one-piece swimsuit and asks Touma if he likes it. He's indifferent, and she gets upset, causing the swimsuit to jostle in her hand. The jostling caused the swimsuit to become a skimpy two piece, with Mikoto going into shock as she didn't realize the suit was designed to do that.
Touma is trying to carry an unconscious pregnant woman to safety, only for Index, Mikoto, and the others to assume he's bagged yet another girl for the Unwanted Harem. Touma indignantly says it is not even remotely like that.
In the Neccessarius Side Story, the Amakusas are trying to figure out where to hold a strategy meeting. Their first choice is entirely filled with one member's golf clubs. Their second choice is filled with pinup magazines. Their third choice is where they're storing cosplay outfits for Itsuwa, who threatens to burn them.
New Testament Vol. 10:
Touma has no plan to escape Sargasso, and Othinus gets pissed at such foolishness.
Touma calls Othinus "Othi-chan" and she gets mad at his flippancy, which is funny on its own but the real kicker is him explaining his reasoning behind dropping the last part of her name because of how it sounds. Hint: a certain planet has a similar problem.
Othinus teleports Touma and herself to Denmark, where he discovers that the current temperature is well below the freezing point. He walks to a nearby man and tries to convince him of trading his Japanese currency for some warmer clothes. Soon enough Touma dejectedly returns to Othinus' side and this exchange happens:
Othinus: What did he say? Touma: He said acting out in your youth is fine, but this winter is too cold so we should stick to car sex if we want to let loose outdoors. Othinus: I-I'm going to destroy this world!!!! Touma:*physically restrains an angry Magic God, unexpectedly gains some warmth from the contact*
The 7 Level 5s are all sent an e-mail telling them to kill Touma and Othinus. Naturally, Accelerator (who replies, "What the hell is this? What is that piece of shit doing?"), Beetle 05, Mikoto, and Misaki refuse. Mugino refuses saying it would be too difficult and expensive. The Number 6 just toys with the phone without saying anything. Gunha refuses saying that the e-mail had no guts.
After running into a statue of the male Norse deity Odin, Touma goes You Have Got to Be Kidding Me! because it obviously doesn't resemble the beautiful Othinus at all.
Touma asks Othinus if she can jump onto a moving truck. She boasts that as the God of War, this would be child's play, then he dryly asks if she can still do it now that her powers have faded. She clams up.
Touma thanks Agnese for helping him and Othinus escape, then foolishly remarks, "Sorry that I looked up your skirt earlier." Naturally, she gets pissed.
Touma constantly getting annoyed by the exchange rate between yen and Danish Krone, forcing him to burn through his money for supposedly cheap things.
Touma needs to shut down Index to prevent a potentially world-ending spell from going off. He tries to cover her mouth but misses, but still manages to touch her, in a place she didn't like, causing her to scream and cutting off the spell. In other words, Touma just saved the world by accidentally groping Index's chest.
Allow me to welcome you to Academy City by smashing your face with a shield.
With much misfortune, Toma Kamijo.
New Testament Vol. 11:
During Touma and Misaki's first real meeting, he rather tactlessly told her he could see up her skirt, and even described her panties (spiderweb pattern). Instead of correcting her body's position, she tried to erase his memories, but of course it doesn't work. She frantically tries it over and over again, but he didn't even notice. He also comments on her (at the time) small chest, much to her irritation.
During an event where the underground mall is partially flooded so you can swim through it, Misaki puts on a swimsuit and goes there because she is too proud to admit she can't swim. She falls in the water and starts flopping around, until Touma tells her to Stop Drowning and Stand Up, since the water in that spot is less than a meter deep. She spent the rest of the event clinging to his arm.
Seria Kumokawa gave Touma an obviously fake kit on hypnotism. He tries it on Misaki, who decides to play along when it has no effect. Touma, following the instructions, innocently starts telling her to do naughty things like lift her skirt, completely oblivious to Misaki's distress and the fact Seria obviously pranked him.
Touma and Misaki were attacked by an esper-hating gang called Deadlock, who ride around on rocket-powered roller skates. Touma chucks one of Misaki's remotes at a Deadlock member's head, causing him to crash. Then the skates explode. Touma and Misaki go You Have Got to Be Kidding Me!, and wonder at the skates' shoddy construction. Touma points out to the gang that one of their members just got blown up and asks if they care. They don't.