In the magical land of Equestria
, young fillies (and sometimes colts) go on grand, wonderful adventures. The royal Princesses indulge in the occasional prank, their rule is just and kind, and everything is a big, happy ball of sunshine.
This is not about those blessed ponies. This is about the ponies who take care of the messes they make. Meet the Equestrian Civil Service.
The princesses rule
Equestria. The various nobles claim to lead
Equestria. The politicians and Parliament govern
Equestria. And the Equestrian Civil Service runs
Their one mission: To take care of the messes that the Princesses cannot spare the time for. And Dotted Line, Cabinet Secretary of the Equestrian Civil Service, takes his duties very, very seriously.Hilarity Ensues
as the wacky bunch
of heroic bureaucrats
try to deal with nosy reporters, paranoid nobles, and worst of all...a surprise visit from the Princess' prized pupil, Twilight Sparkle herself.
The Equestrian Civil Service Series is an ongoing project by Ghost Of Heraclitus
. Takes place during a period before Twilight's ascension, but after the Changeling Invasion.
The stories, in order of publication:
- Whom the Princesses Would Destroy... To Princess Celestia and Twilight Sparkle, it is a simple surprise visit to Canterlot. To the ponies of the Equestrian Civil Service, it is twenty-four hours of chaos, politics, weaponized dessert, politics, underhooved manipulation of media, politics, and things batrachian and tentacular. Who said bureaucracy isn't exciting?
- A Canterlot Carol is a much more somber look into the life of Dotted Line, as he tries to keep the bureaucracy machine running during the holiday, pry his coworkers out of the office, and stick to his plans for Hearthwarming.
- A Princess By Any Other Name is a much more humorous story set during Dotted's younger years. Here, a younger (and decidedly less mature) Princess Cadence tries to change her name. To Cadance-with-an-A. Dotted Line valiantly tries to remain calm in the face of bratty teenage goddesses, a crisis of religion, and the local Eldritch Abomination who keeps begging someone to "fRrReEeEeEeE uSsSsss..." (A crossover with the Cadance Of Cloudsdale series by Skywriter.)
- Obiter Dicta is a collection of short stories, vignettes, and deleted scenes, mostly about the Civil Service and the brave (also insane) ponies who work there. Introduces the family of Leafy Salad, a discussion on royal board games, and an excerpt from the history of Griffin/Pony relations.
These stories provide examples of:
open/close all folders
Whom the Princesses Would Destroy...
- Abnormal Ammo: Custard from a royal food fight covers the library tower, because apparently Luna has figured out how to weaponize it even better than usual. And the inside of the tower is full of jam because:
Swift Wing: "Well, sir, Her Highness princess Celestia beheld the custard onslaught, sir, and, yea verily, did she summon the ancient powers of alicornkind..."
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Leafy, mostly due to having skipped breakfast. And he's also Permanent Under-secretary of State for the Home Office.
- Eldritch Abomination: the Disemvoweled One.
- Leeroy Jenkins: After a long overdue cup of tea, Dotted Line launches into battle against Ykzlpxlt!k. He survives, but not of his own ability.
- Must Have Caffeine: Poor Dotted Line has to go most of his day without a cup of tea. Luckily, Celestia shows up to give him a thermos.
- Punctuation Shaker: Parodied with "Ykzlpxlt!k, The Disemvoweled One" (The aforementioned "batrachian and tentacular" Eldritch Abomination)
- Sanity Slippage: Dotted Line struggles to keep a level head throughout it all. He starts to downspiral after a close encounter with The Disemvoweled One. Of course, it's still funny.
- Shaggy Dog Story: Dotted Line pushes himself to the breaking point trying to make sure that Twilight Sparkle has a place to stay in the castle...only to learn at the end that she's staying with her parents.
A Canterlot Carol
A Princess By Any Other Name
- Eldritch Abomination: This time, it's a freaking baby book. After spending several centuries being worshipped and surrounded by powerful magic, the book has a limited degree of sapience and an unpredictable aura or wild magic.
- Spell My Name with an S: Cadance' (Sorry, Cadence') name change.
- Altum Videtur: It's titled "Obiter Dicta." It means 'said in passing' in Latin.
- Calvinball: The Game Princesses Play is really just a quick game of Nomic that went way, WAY overboard. Some thousands of years ago.
- Combat Pragmatist: The pony approach to fighting.
- Honor Before Reason: The griffin approach to fighting. It doesn't end well.
Page is currently under construction. Help is appreciated.