Characters: Total Drama Survival
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Augustus - The Enigmatic Greek Philosopher
"I sweven an unspeakable regression throughout all of human civilization, it is forsooth a deep, ominous menace. Our phronitestery auspiciously have meticulously assembled a plan to resolve this superfluous, redundant quandary. Now I shall inquire, what is your beloved initiative with regards to how all of us, as homo sapiens, ought to resolutely reconcile this trifling matter?"A Greek philosopher who enjoys analyzing people (particularly the "Western World") and studying in his "phrontistery."
- Eyes Always Shut: When he talks, for reasons unknown.
- The Philosopher
- Renaissance Man: The impression he gives others.
- Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: His speaking style.
Big-Daddy - The Pimp Daddy Wannabe
"Yo, mothafokas! Big-Daddy is here now, and the ladies b droolin'?"An aspiring rapper who wants to get all the ladies and record a new rap album.
- Hormone-Addled Teenager: Even worse than Jacob.
- Moral Event Horizon: After sexually harassing Jazmin on public television, the females quickly disregard him forever.
- The Load: He is this to the Screaming Crybabies due to his great incompetence.
- The Scrappy: Nobody who read this fic likes Big-Daddy. Nobody.
- Too Dumb to Live: He can't speak English correctly, and is not aware of the negativity in sexual harassment.
- The Unintelligible: Can you understand anything he says?
David - The Naive Farmer Boy
"God says the world is a beautiful place…a place with plenty of good people, I don't think anyone here would lie to me or hurt me, but some evil people too…but Momma says all evil people go to Hell, no matter what. Unless they pray for forgiveness, then they get another chance."An Amish farmer boy from Kansas who works harder, but is very naive about the real world.
- Belief Makes You Stupid
- Cloudcuckoolander: His naivety is 'very' extreme. He really thinks the world is a utopia and that bad things rarely happen.
- God Is Good
- Sarcasm-Blind: He doesn't even know what sarcasm is.
- Wide-Eyed Idealist: He thinks God will fix everything bad all the time.
Felicity - The Faux Sweet Party Animal
"I really hate to see people all sad. Everybody should be like happy and have colorfulness and stuff!"
"Hanging out with those fucking losers was such a waste of my bloody time. I literally wanted to kill myself, no joke. That shithead Jacob is more disgusting then a fucking sewer rat, and he thinks I actually like him. He wishes he'd rub that fucking small cock of his against my big tits. Jazmin is a fucking bitch who needs to get laid, I mean seriously. Her skinny flat-chested black ass thinks she's all that, she's the reason why I fucking hate niggers. These teapots need to be exterminated from the Earth. As for David, he must be mentally retarded or something, and I cannot fucking stand mental retarded people. Retards should all kill themselves. Seriously, I can't stand any of these idiots!"A British party animal who is one of the sweetest girls you will ever meet! She is sweeter than bubblegum! She is also a slutty, racist, backstabbing, manipulative bitch who doesn't give a fuck about nobody and would care less if they died.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing
- The Ditz: Subverted, she pretends to be this way so people don't suspect any negative traits.
- Dumb Blonde : It's unknown if she's actually dumb or if she's pretending to be stupid as part of her facade.
- Expy: Of a character from a certain fanfiction whom the author thought lacked potential.
- Girly Girl : It is unknown if that part of her personality is fake, or if she really is this way.
- Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold : Subverted, what heart?
- Madame Swears A Lot: In the confessionals only, and ''how''.
- Politically Incorrect Villain
- Stepford Smiler: Do you really think any of her smiles are genuine?
- True Blue Femininity: Her whole outfit reflects this.
- Valley Girl: Although she is British, her speech is somehow like this. This is because it is all a part of her sweet girl facade.
- Vile Villain, Saccharine Show
- Villain with Good Publicity
Genevieve - The Prima Donna
"This is all too easy. I know for fact that the majority are by my side and are willing to kiss up to me. I'm supposed to be kissed up too, hello? I'm a five-star celebrity, the camera, the attention, the devotion. All belongs to me, nilch goes to my foolish followers."A narcissistic celebrity from Hollywood who thinks it's all about her.
- Attention Whore
- It's All About Me
- Manipulative Bitch: When it comes to getting rid of people she doesn't like.
- Pretty in Mink
- The Prima Donna
- Rich Bitch
- Villain with Good Publicity: According to her.
Hayley - The Effeminate Drag Queen
"Hey girls and boys! Hayley is here, Hayley the fantastical performer has arrived with such beautiful bliss!"An effeminate crossdresser who aspires to become a Broadway actor and enjoys playing different roles every day.
- Ambiguously Gay: Although Chris stated he was gay, Hayley himself has yet to mention his sexual orientation.
- Attention Whore
- Camp Gay: He acts this way for attention. It's unknown if he is actually gay.
- Cloudcuckoolander: He wears feminine clothes simply because he finds masculine fashion to be "boring."
- Master of Disguise: Hayley does this just for the sake of it.
Jacob - The Perverted Ladies Man
"Dude, when I call a chick hot, that means she's really sexy. Especially Felicity, look at her tits man."A serious pervert who is looking for that special someone.
Jazmin - The Gossip Girl
"Umm, thank you. You seem…interesting? This island is so quiet and boring. What's the matter with you people?"A gossip columnist who seeks the latest dramatic incidents to record them for her school newspaper.
- Bare Your Midriff
- Jerkass: Especially as of Chapter Four. Justfied, she was sexually harassed on public TV.
- Sassy Black Woman: Not in the stereotypical, exaggerated sense.
Lois - The No-Nonsense Sarcastic Girl
"Woohoo! I am so excited for another day in Camp Ramshackle and chains! Yeah, no."A lonely, no-nonsense sarcastic girl who wants to stay under-the-radar to avoid drama.
Michele - The Genre-Savvy Surfer Strategist
"My strategy is fifty-percent emotion, fifty-percent pragmatism, and in order to truly survive, you have to balance the two."A surfer strategist who has prior knowledge of reality competition strategy.
Paisley - The Dedicated Environmentalist
"Our world is filled with arrogant people who only care about themselves! They trash nature, cut down our trees and litter the beaches! I opposed this for too long and it is my duty to help the world with team effort and a responsible mindset!"A headstrong environmentalist who clearly wants to make a difference, but can be a bit forceful with her beliefs.
- Aesop Amnesia: Despite being eliminated and convinced that arrogance cost her the game, she goes back to her ways right after she left, proven during her short stay in the elimination plane in Chapter 3.
- Break the Haughty - Her first elimination managed to do this, only for a short amount of time...
- Expy: The author specifically stated that she was based off of Courtney.
- Go-Getter Girl: She plans to win so she could fund her environmental foundation.
- Granola Girl
- Jerkass: Although she wasn't intentionally one, she was.
- Soapbox Sadie
- You Gotta Have Blue Hair
Blake - The Cocky Showoff
"“Psh, I didn't sign up to make friends. I got friends that worship me back home. I already have the ladies drooling over me, point is, I'm winning, and you weirdos can't do shit. I mean, look at you guys. Like that…thing over there.”An overconfident guy who believes that his superior "assets" will help him win easily.
Ethelinda - The Elderly Mage
"My name is Ethelinda von Valmantia. I do not originate from this planet we Ithicans identify as Earth. I am a human being with a soul, like you. The difference is, our worlds are significantly distinctive. Your world relies on the realistic means of solving common problems. Ours rely on what this world consider unreal supernatural abilities."An elderly mage with a gothic appearance who claims that she comes from Ithika, a planet who relies on magic instead of common sense.
- Cloudcuckoolander: She is constantly treated, and seen like this.
- Does Not Like Magic: The reason why most people on her home planet, Ithika, possess a strong hatred for Earth, according to her.
- Elderly Immortal: She is 1,459 years old. While it may not be old where she's from, it is on Earth.
- Magic Music: What happens when she casts any spell.
- Nice Lady: She claims that she will never use her magic for malevolent purposes like most of her colleagues do. And she's been fairly kind to the campers, despite being ridiculed.
Iris - The Macabre Little Red Riding Hood
"I eat owls, and crickets all the time! Muehehehehe! Last week, I ate my dead grandpa's liver! It was so good! That was after I overdosed on cocaine. My dad gives me cocaine when I finish doing my chores! No joke, muehehehe! That stuff is so good for you!"A very disturbing, mentally scarred girl who resembles Little Red Riding Hood.
Kat - The Runaway
"“Being a runaway…both interesting and painful. Only us escapees truly know what it feels like, the counselors and their know-it-all talk, blah blah blah, parents are right all the time, we're the dumbasses. I hear that all the time and it pisses me off, oh well. I just have to live my life now, and try to survive high school without being figured out. That's the hardest part, that and trying to find a place to live."A girl who ran away from her parents and is struggling to survive in the city streets.
- Abusive Parents: According to herself.
- Boyish Short Hair
- Dark and Troubled Past: It is implied that she has this.
- The Runaway
- Spirited Young Lady: She seems rather confident.
- Unkempt Beauty: Implied to be this. Also, she hates makeup. Period.
Mason - The Marines Cadet
"By the end of the show, I want everyone especially Blake to leave with respect, responsibility and integrity. Basically all the seven core values I was taught. I know deep down they have potential to be good men, they just need more discipline."A military cadet who serves as a benevolent father figure and teach his teammates responsibility and respect.
- A Father to His Men
- Dark and Troubled Past: Mason was kicked out of the house and was shipped to Military School for having a similar personality akin to Blake.
- Jerkass: Inverted, he's actually a decent guy. But if you disrespect him or his team, expect him to have a Jerkass moment.
- Military School: Where he was sent.
- Team Dad: He is this to the Killer Conquerors.
- Wide-Eyed Idealist: While not as bad as David, he still genuinely believes that everybody is capable to leave the show with learning the value of respect, honesty and responsibility.
Nigel - The Mysterious Chillaxed Guy
"I'm more of a listener then a talker."A mysterious, chillaxed silent guy who analyzes people and helps his team out at times.
- Abusive Parents: Nigel's dad.
- Dark and Troubled Past: Look above.
- Mysterious Watcher: Heavily implied in Chapter 3.
- The Quiet One: Him and Thomas. But technically, he's the only quiet one as he isn't seen to have one genuine friend besides Mason, but they're not even seen to be as close as Tania and Thomas, that is for sure.
- Unknown Character: He is the least known about character throughout the entire story. For now, anyways.
Seth - The Garage Musician
"I better not hear a single person on this show sing "songs" from Katy Perry, Lady Gaga or LMFAO, or they'll regret that they did it in the first place."An antisocial rock musician who wants to win to help his garage band "The Grudge" out of debt.
- Don't You Dare Pity Me!
- Garage Band
- Hates Everyone Equally
- I'm Not Here To Make Friends: Seth makes this very clear in his confessional, claiming music will be his only friend.
- Pretty Boy: Hayley and Stephanie think this of him.
Stephanie - The Small Town Girl
" I look at all these independent women who live in the city, with their careers and aspirations in the palm of their hand. I want to be like them, they are my biggest inspiration and motivation to push me to work harder and harder."An ambitious girl who comes from a small town in California who wants to move to the big city to achieve her dreams.
- Bare Your Midriff
- Genki Girl
- Girly Girl: Unlike Kat
- Go-Getter Girl
- Valley Girl: Unlike Felicity, she is a genuine one. Justified, she is from Cambria, California. Although, her example is not exaggerated.
Tania - The Sweet, Quirky Girl
"Being normal is so overrated. It's so boring, you can't ever have fun."A quirky, optimistic girl who loves to be random and wishes to make friends.
- Cloudcuckoolander: She can be quirky and random, even claiming being "normal" is overrated.
- Genki Girl
- Manic Pixie Dream Girl: Tania is this to Thomas. She is the only reason why Thomas is confident.
- Nice Girl: She is the genuine, much more benevolent counterpart to Felicity. She is perhaps one of the nicest contestants and unlike Felicity, she has a true heart and cares for others.
- The Pollyanna: Unlike most of the cast, she tries to keep an optimistic outlook, despite all the drama.
Thomas - The Wallflower
"I never could make friends, it's hard. I don't think I'll ever have one, to be honest."A socially awkward guy who is genuinely afraid of other people due to his past experiences.
- Abusive Parents: Thomas' dad, he kicked him out of the house at age six and never saw him again.
- Beneath the Mask - This is implied. He claims he can't be his true-self around others and acts more confident with Tania then with anyone else.
- Dark and Troubled Past
- Kids Are Cruel: Not him, the peers he had to deal with as a kid.
- Shrinking Violet
- The Woobie
Zayden - The Lazy Hermit
"Uh, so I had this dream…I was eating pizza with a bunch of people. It was so cool, man. Pepperoni makes you reflect about a bunch of stuff…yeah."A couch potato who likes to chill at home all day.
- Attention Deficit...Ooh! Shiny!
- Cloudcuckoolander: His constant daydreaming and distractions from reality prove this. Also, some of his absurd random statements.
- Dark and Troubled Past: He is one of the many characters who is hinted of having one.
- Lazy Bum
- Most Gamers Are Male
- The Hermit: This is confirmed by Zayden, due to being afraid of the outside world