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Voiced By: Jason Marsden
"Isn't there a way to do this that preserves our essential laziness?"Tino is the good-hearted de-facto leader and unanimous “neurotic” of the group. He gets through his days and situations by cutting smart, sarcastic and witty remarks (and breaking the forth wall). When threatened, he can appear to be a bit of a coward, but despite his neurotic and flighty personality, he has proven on many occasions to be resourceful, and brave.
- Adorkable: Comic lover, shrilly scream, and very awkward around his crush, Tasha.
- Alliterative Name: Tino Tonitini.
- Catchphrase: "Later days!", though this isn't just used by him.
- Cloudcuckoolander: When his paranoia gets the best of him.
- Dark-Skinned Blonde: Has a tan.
- Deadpan Snarker: The biggest one on the show. He's like a G-rated preadolescent combination of Eric Forman, Chandler Bing, and Frasier Crane. An entire episode in fact is about not getting a "Most..." title in the yearbook, only to find out he did and it turns out to be "Most Sarcastic."
- Disappeared Dad: His parents are divorced, and his dad lives far away.
- Ditzy Genius
- Inexplicably Identical Individuals:
- Tony Tordellini looks just like Tino, only with spiky hair.
- Summer Schwartz looks a lot like him, only a girl.
- Large Ham
- Like Parent, Like Child: He and his mother look very alike, as well as being very snarky and often the Only Sane Man.
- Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy: Feminine Boy to Lor's Masculine Girl.
- Meta Guy: Does the most fourth-wall breaking.
- Motor Mouth: Especially when he goes into "conspiracy theorist mode".
- Nice Guy: Tino is generally the most tolerant, patient, and accepting of his friends.
- Only Sane Man: Tino still has the biggest conscience among his friends.
- Screams Like a Little Girl: His friends have names for his various screams.
- Twitchy Eye: When he's stressed.
- The Wacky Guy
- Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: He's terrified of clowns, but learns to tolerate them over time.
- Wise Beyond Their Years
Lorraine "Lor" Mcquarrie
Voiced By: Grey DeLisle
- Adorkable: Has shades of this. Particularly when she's talking to her crush, Thompson, or when she misses the point.
- All Women Love Shoes: Averted, she wears heels in 'Dinner Party' and spends most of the evening complaining about them.
- Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: Probably the biggest offender of the four, although Carver and Tino aren't far behind.
- Brilliant, but Lazy: Downplayed. She's no Child Prodigy, but she's much smarter than she'll admit. At one point her grades were low enough that her father threatened military school. In the same episode, she got online multiplayer working on one of Tino's games. In an hour or two. Lampshaded immediately afterwards.note
- Daddy's Girl: She's seen talking to her Dad about various problems, but her mother rarely shows up onscreen.
- Gibberish of Love: When around Thompson.
- Green-Eyed Monster: In one episode, where she thinks that Thompson likes Tish more than her.
- Innocently Insensitive
- Known Only by Their Nickname: Like Tish, she's never reffered to by her full first name.
- Lovable Jock
- Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy: Masculine Girl to Tino's Feminine Boy.
- And somewhat to Carver.
- Massive Numbered Siblings: She has a ridiculous amount of brothers. Not even Lor knows how many she actually has.
- One of the Boys
- Outnumbered Sibling: And how. She's the only girl who has brothers in double-digits.
- Tomboy and Girly Girl: Tomboy to Tish's Girly Girl
Carver René Descartes
Voiced By: Phil LaMarr
- Big Eater: He polishes off a whole pizza by himself while the gang are talking, much to their annoyance.
- Deadpan Snarker: Has a tendency to make sassy comments.
- Did I Just Say That Out Loud?: Tends to blurt out outlandish lies that he then feels obligated to follow up on, like saying Chum Bucket were going to dedicate their next concert to the gang.
- Black Best Friend: To Tino in particular.
- Cool Loser
- Hero Worship: He worships the cool kids, Chum Bucket and Kyle from Teen Canyon.
- Hidden Depths: Despite usually appearing to be rather superficial and obsessed with being seen as cool, "The Perfect Weekend" shows that he gets along with middle-aged woman surprisingly well, and that he can be very mature for his age.
- It's All About Me: Carver is shown to be a little self-centered and annoying. He can also be immensely shallow and superficial towards women (he once rejected a girl just because she was too tall).
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He's shallow and insensitive, but learns his lesson by the end of the day.
- Pride: When it comes to anything "cool".
- Mixed Ancestry: African - American but his surname Descartes implies some French heritage.
- Named After Somebody Famous: Shares his middle and last name with French mathemetician and philosopher Rene Descartes.
- No Listening Skills: In the episode "Listen Up", this becomes a problem when Carver and his friends sign up to be helpers to help kids get over worrying about middle school and Carver doesn't help his kid by not listening to his problems. He spends the rest of the episode learning how to listen and comes to a realization when people don't listen to his problem. He eventually makes it up to his kid by the end.
- Real Men Wear Pink: Carver has a strong interest in clothes and fashion (particularly shoes).
- Running Gag:
- His obsession with shoes.
- And his terrible handwriting.
- Slave to PR: Obsessed with 'coolness' and being seen as cool, which is often to his detriment.
- Spiky Hair: It goes with his wannabe cool image. On "The Worst Weekend Ever" he frets that he forgot to pack his hair gel.
- Trademark Favorite Food: Pizza.
- "Well Done, Son!" Guy: Implied, although his Dad seems unaware of it.
Petratishkovna "Tish" Katsufrakis
Voiced By: Kath Soucie
- Brainy Brunette: She's the brown-haired girl of the group and is something of a Child Prodigy.
- Deadpan Snarker
- Drama Queen: She has a tendency to overreact.
- Funny Foreigner: Her parents moreso than her.
- Green-Eyed Monster: Gets very jealous when Lor is put in the talent show and she isn't, but she eventually overcomes it to help out Lor's stage fright.
- Guilty Pleasure: She's caught playing dress-up in her room and is quite embarrassed about it."This is a science project."
- The Heart: After Tino, Tish is probably the most moral one of the group. She's usually the first one to realise when they've done something wrong.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: Only her parents call her by her full first name- Petratishkovna.
- The Smart Girl
- Smart People Wear Glasses
- Tomboy and Girly Girl: Girly Girl to Lor's Tomboy.
- Wise Beyond Her Years: Sometimes, but she is very atypical of her age too.
Bluke and Francis
- Big Fun: Bluke is pretty chubby, and he's very nice. He also apparently likes to do magic tricks.
- Creepy Child: Francis, although she's harmless.
- Hidden Depths: Bluke's simplicity allows him to see a simpler solution and/or the bigger picture. The Tao of Bluke showed this off. For the former, he was able to just relax and have fun compared to everybody coming up with complicated answers. The latter came at the end of the episode; thinking Pizza was the best prize compared to the pool table. After all "You can split a pizza five ways, how do you split a pool table?" Cut to the winners of the table fighting over where it's going.
- The Hyena: Francis has a very creepy giggle.
- Kind Hearted Simpleton: Bluke.
- Knife Nut: Francis likes pointy things.
- The Load: The gang treat Bluke like this in 'The Tao of Bluke', but he ends up actually winning them second place. Which ended up being the better prize. Bluke reasons that "You can split a pizza five ways, but how do you split a pool table?"
- Those Two Guys: Although Bluke sometimes features in episodes by himself.
Colby and Brie
- Dull Surprise: They never, ever show much emotion.
- Heel Realization: After Brie becomes uncool in 'Uncool World' and becomes on the receiving end of being mocked, she realises how hurtful it is and decrees that both she and Colby stop doing it once they both become cool again.
- Jerkass: They like to verbally tear down others for not being as 'cool' as them- they almost make Bluke cry before Tino calls them out on it.
- Like Is, Like, a Comma
- Not So Above It All: Brie is a fan of "Li'l Muffins", like several uncool kids.
- Sunglasses at Night: Brie never takes hers off- the sun burns her eyes.
- Ungrateful Bitch: Brie never even thanks the gang in 'Uncool World' for helping her out after Colby ditched her.
Christy and Candy
- All's Well That Ends Well: The end of "Makeover" shows them ditching their efforts to emulate supermodels and showing an interest in rock climbing and other outdoor activities.
- Pink Is Feminine: Candy is seen dressed in pink.
- The Ditz: Neither of them are too bright.
- The Fashionista: They try to make over Lor in the aptly titled episode "Makeover"
- Those Two Girls: Never seen by themselves.
- True Blue Femininity: Christy is dressed in blue.
- Adults Are Useless: Very much averted in the course of the show.
- Amicably Divorced: Is this with Tino's dad
- Deadpan Snarker: She and Tino often snark at each other
- Good Parents:
- Lethal Chef: A running gag on the show
- No Name Given: Her first name remains unknown.
- Voice Of Reason: Often acts as this towards Tino and his friends
- Prematurely Bald: Doesn't look that old, but he is partially bald
Jan "The Man" Testeverde
- Catchphrase: "Hey Yowza Dudes!"