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Andy French
Voiced by: Wallace Langham
A 24-year-old slacker and aspiring cartoonist who is forced to put up with his nerdy younger brother. He works at a waterbed store, a job he hates.
- Brilliant, but Lazy: He's a good cartoonist, but he's also a slacker who spends a lot of his time on the couch drinking beer. He works harder than most do, as he does actually send off his cartoons to be published, but he's easily discouraged when he gets back rejection letters, something that's common even for professionals.
- Butt-Monkey: He becomes a Butt-Monkey in one episode where he meets a famous celebrity and promises to meet up with her during the Grammys but suffers through a Trauma Conga Line when his plans to meet up with her don't go as planned.
- Catchphrase Insult: "Douchebag" is his preferred insult, especially when it comes to his little brother Kevin.
- Commitment Issues: It's hinted that this is the reason why he refuses to settle for any one woman.
- Deconstructed Character Archetype: Of The Slacker. Andy coasts through life putting as little effort in as possible until he loses his job at the waterbed store thanks to his boss getting arrested. He devolves to the point where he's sleeping in until 7 PM and goes outside wearing only a bathrobe (and nothing else), much to the discomfort of his friends. Reality slaps him so hard with this that he realizes he's getting left behind and he opts to straighten up and fly right.
- Foolish Sibling, Responsible Sibling: The foolish to Kevin's responsible.
- Hidden Depths: One of his cartoons satirized people who misuse Kafkaesque.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He'll mess with his brother a lot, but he really does care about him. And even he'll ease off on the attitude if Kevin seems legitimately depressed.
- Old Shame: His stint on MTV's The Real World, where he alienated his friends and ruined their plan to destroy MTV from the inside out. He's horrified when Kevin discovers the tapes documenting that era of his life.
- Really Gets Around: Andy has a number of sexual flings throughout the series, though he never settles down. In the unfinished "Pretty In Pink", he does finally start an official relationship with his on-off fling Gwen.
- Sibling Rivalry: They often get into fights which turn physical. Of course, they're cartoonish and wacky, but still.
- Sibling Yin-Yang: Andy is cool and popular but relatively unsuccessful with anything that isn't women, not to mention very lazy. Kevin on the other hand is peppy, outgoing, but nerdy and has a hard time with the opposite sex.
- The Slacker: This was originally his character trait, which eventually blossomed into a full Sophomore Slump during his unemployed period where he basically devolved completely. Only losing a tooth to decay, and a visit to Jim's workplace snapped him out of it and made him realize he had to get his ass in gear.
- Trademark Favorite Food: Bugles and malt liquor.
- Trauma Conga Line: He suffers a very sadistic Trauma Conga Line when he plans to meet up with a famous celebrity in one episode; due to an international crisis unfolding in the background, everyone is so distracted by watching the news that it becomes impossible for Andy to get ready for his date. The barber ruins his hair, the tailor almost castrates him while working on his pants, he gets handcuffed to a fence while talking to Natalia at a sit-in protest, and finally, he and Toby get cornered by a rabid dog in an alley.
- Troll: He's very good at getting under people's skin. In fact, this is what attracts MTV to him.
- Ultimate Job Security: Played straight when Andy worked at Ron's waterbed store. With how much of a slacker he is, combined with his rude demeanor, him often ignoring Ron's rules, and the fact that Ron clearly doesn't like him, it's amazing he was able to keep that job. Granted, Ron didn't really like any of his employees, but the points made with Andy still stand.
- The Unfavorite: His mother clearly favors Kevin over him, one of the sources of Andy's general resentment towards Kevin.
- Younger Than They Look: Despite being 24 years old he can easily pass for late 20's-early 30's.
Kevin French
Voiced by: Scott Menville
Kevin's 17-year-old brother, a massive nerd who wants to go to Yale. He moves in with Andy after their parents move to Wyoming.
- Annoying Younger Sibling: He's this to Andy.
- Big Brother Worship: Despite them being almost complete opposites, Kevin admits that Andy is the "Coolest person he knows". Andy is somewhat astonished that Kevin feels that way.
- Butt-Monkey: He gets a crappy birthday in his birthday episode. Even Andy's attempts to cheer him up make him feel even more depressed and unhappy. The end of the episode reveals that the initial crappiness of his birthday had actually set off a serious bout of homesickness, causing his depression.
- Can't Hold His Liquor: He gets drunk for the first time at a party when he first moves to Mission Hill. At first, he just acts a bit more abrasive than normal, but he's eventually reduced to rolling around on the floor saying "googer geiger", which is drunk talk for "greuber meister", a play on the brand of beer he drank, Greuberhoff. It's also revealed that he made an embarrassing call to his parents while drunk.
- Catchphrase: "Bling blong", which he tends to either repeat or sing whenever he's thinking. According to Andy, it's his way of staying focused.
- Character Development: He gradually grows accustomed to city life across the show, even finding that his old suburban town doesn't feel the same after being gone so long.
- Comically Missing the Point: He laughs at Andy's cartoons, but he doesn't actually understand them.Andy: Gwen, watch this.(Andy hands Kevin a cartoon of a woman at a deli pointing at a steak and saying "That is so Kafkaesque." Kevin laughs.)Andy: Okay. Why is that funny?Kevin: Uh...because she's touching the meat?Andy: No. It is a satire of people who say "Kafkaesque" when a situation is not "Kafkaesque".Kevin: Well, it would be funnier if the caption said "Please, no meat touching, ma'am!"
- Country Mouse: He's a suburban kid trying to get used to life in the much more crowded and quirky Mission Hill.
- Foolish Sibling, Responsible Sibling: The responsible to Andy's foolish.
- Hormone-Addled Teenager: Kevin is a very chronic masturbator and has a difficult time dealing with smut.
- The Movie Buff: He becomes one in "Plan 9 from Mission Hill" after bonding with Wally. While he was clearly into movies on a casual level before, Wally expands Kevin's horizons refines his tastes. Before, Kevin would sing the praise of movies like Sphere, Twister and Armageddon (1998). After spending time with Wally, he's into Midnight Cowboy, 2001: A Space Odyssey and the works of Werner Herzog.
- My Beloved Smother: Though she's like this to both of her kids, Kevin was the one who got the most smothering.
- My God, What Have I Done?: When he cracks the code for the SAT and hands it over to a Dumb Jock and his friends who all want to go to Yale, he gets a vision of the nerdy Ivy League kids being terrorized by violent fratbro football players. It's only then that he realizes what he's been doing was cheating.
- Nerd Glasses: He's a nerd and he wears glasses.
- Nervous Wreck: Has a very nervous and uptight personality in contrast to Andy who's much more laidback and mellow.
- Sibling Yin-Yang: Kevin is smart, motivated, and has a real future in life. Andy on the other hand is more or less the opposite: He's not quite as smart, lazy, and stuck in a dead end job.
- Spoiled Brat: A lot of his bad personality traits are a result of his mothers comical favoritism towards him.
- The Stool Pigeon: Before moving to Mission Hill, Kevin would tell on Andy, even for something minor like saying "crap." He also tends to have panic attacks if he ever breaks the rules, like when Andy and Jim took him into a bar even though he wasn't 21.
Jim Kuback
Voiced by: Brian Posehn
Andy's best friend since high school, who now lives with him in Mission Hill. Despite being just as much of a slacker as Andy, he has a cushy job at an advertising agency.
- Berserk Button: Of the times Jim has gotten angry, it's when someone has sold out or messed with his food. In the series proper, he only really lost his cool with Andy when Andy became a sell out on The Real World or a bad skeezy salesman when Andy became Ron's second in command. In the unaired "Freaky Weekend" episode, his patience finally wore thin when someone ate the last of the food item he wanted to order at a fast food place so he couldn't get it.
- Best Friend: To Andy, and has been so for many years.
- Big Ol' Unibrow: He has a huge unibrow.
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: He's a major slacker, but he happens to be good with computers. Everyone at the ad agency treats Jim's opinions and his feelings as vitally important, basically giving Jim as much power as the boss, and the power to hire and fire. He eventually uses this to his advantage, kicking out a new employee, and the snooty employment officer who hired him, to have him replaced with Andy.
- Catchphrase: "Okay."
- Extreme Omnivore: He and Stogie the dog ate the couch over the course of one episode, due to it being soaked in food drippings. He's also not above eating leftovers at Gus' diner, taking food from other tables and putting them on his plate like a buffet.
- Mellow Fellow: He's a pretty chill guy, unless you're one of the few people that can genuinely get under his skin.
- Oblivious to Love: The unfinished "Pretty In Pink" reveals that his assistant Stacy is in love with him, which Jim remains completely oblivious about, despite her outright telling him he was the sexiest man she knew. After getting some advice from Andy, Stacy ends up just walking into Jim's office and strips off her blouse. THAT got the point across.
- The Slacker: Almost as much as Andy, the difference is that Jim found a job that needs him because the other employees don't know what Jim does.
- The Stoic: He rarely changes his inflection, and generally responds to things with a simple "Okay."
- Trademark Favorite Food: Hamburgers.
- Ultimate Job Security: He outright says he doesn't even go to work if he doesn't feel like it, and he smokes in his office without penalty. He's considered the most important person at the agency.
- Younger Than They Look: Like Andy he can easily pass for late 20's-early 30's despite being in his mid 20's.
Posey Tyler
Voiced by: Vicki Lewis
One of Andy's roommates in the apartment. She's a hippie who's concerned with things like chakras and organic foods.
- Beware the Nice Ones: Has a real mean streak thats usually covered by her ditzy personality but surfaces when she feels particularly spiteful.
- Example: When she and Andy are accosted by a pimp who believes Posey is turning tricks after a misprint in her advertisement for her massage therapy, the pimp nearly throws Andy off the roof of the building but suddenly throws out his back as he is about to do so. Posey uses her masseuse training to fix his back before kicking him off the roof of the building.
Andy: What the hell was that about?
Posey: I didn't want him to fall off the roof and not feel it. - The Ditz: Not exactly the brightest of the apartment residents.
- Even the Girls Want Her: When Gwen is somewhat drunk, she and Posey dance together very sensually.
- Granola Girl: She's a hippie chick who grows organic vegetables and tries to find inner peace through meditation. However, she's not above trying to make some money off of her vegetables.
- Mistaken for Prostitute: In "Kevin vs. The SAT", Posey starts a massage therapy business, but a misprint in her print ad promised customers "healing release" instead of "healing relief", so everyone that arrives expects to be having sex with her. Not helping is that if you check the other ads around hers, they're all for sex hotlines and other equally naughty things. Eventually this ends up getting her and Andy into trouble with a pimp who thinks she's cutting in on his territory.
- Nervous Wreck: She's got a very fidgety and high-strung attitude for a vegan.
- Not So Above It All: She has a hidden mean streak and objects to the idea of giving away her vegetables for free when she learns she can make money off them.
- Perpetual Frowner: Is always seen with a nervous frown on her face.
- She Cleans Up Nicely: One episode showed her wearing a very skimpy outfit which shows off most of her body.
Stogie
- The Alcoholic: Andy and Kevin's parents had to spray the liquor cabinet with dog repellent in order to keep him away.
- Dogs Are Dumb: Though in this case it's implied to be because of minor brain damage.
- Extreme Omnivore: He'll eat anything, including a TV remote and couch cushions that have had burger grease dripped on them. The only line he draws is the "dog food" that Andy gives him in one episode, which is implied to be made from dogs.
- Person of Mass Destruction: He chews up everything he can get his paws on.
Gus Duncz
Voiced by: Nick Jameson
Another of the neighbors. He's a gruff, elderly gay man in his late sixties who runs the local Greasy Spoon diner.
- Bad "Bad Acting": When he was acting as the star of The Man From Pluto, he was unable to read the more sophisticated dialogue that Wally wrote, or hide his obvious New York accent.Gus: People of Oith, I greet yous from the Galastic Federation.
- And then there was his Delayed Reaction upon getting shot.
Wally: Gus! He just shot you! Your bulb is on, you're angry!Gus: Oh yeah?...RRRR! - Blush Sticker: After Andy playfully calls him a dirty tramp for giving him a recommendation for his job interview, he sports a pair of these and is adorably bashful.
- Brooklyn Rage: Gus is easily prone to anger and speaks with a heavy New York accent.
- Eyes Always Shut: His eyes appear to be perpetually shut.
- Hello, Sailor!: Gus used to be in the Navy. He says the good things about being in the Navy are "Three squares a day and all the gay sex you can handle."
- Hidden Heart of Gold: He may be the gruffest of the men but he cares deeply about Wally and is respectful to his neighbors. When Andy lost a tooth down a drain, Gus doesn't hesitate to get it out despite earlier kicking Andy out of his diner for not wearing pants. And in that same episode, he steps in when Wally gets nervous about giving Andy a recommendation to give a glowing one of his own. The angriest he got with a neighbor is when Kevin kept using the hurtful term "Homo", and even then Gus calmly explained it was hurtful, said "please" when he asked Kevin to stop using it, and calmly threatened him if he kept continuing rather than just hitting him.
- Love at First Sight: He and Wally first fell in love on the set of a film, when Gus was just the guy who moved around the sets and props.
- Made of Iron: He spends an entire episode with a knife lodged in his head, and he just doesn't care. In fact, he gets angry whenever Wally tries to remove it.
- Major Injury Underreaction: Again. Knife in head. And not a little one either, it was a butcher knife. He just goes about his day like it's not even there. What makes this stand out is that being made a spectacle is what makes Gus want to remove it, and really nothing else.
- Manly Gay: You'd never guess that Gus was gay by looking at him. This is in contrast to Wally, who acts a bit campy.
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: "Plan 9 from Mission Hill" has Wally make a terrible film reminiscent of Plan 9 from Outer Space, with Gus acting as the Tor Johnson to Wally's Ed Wood, except if Wood and Johnson were gay lovers. More generally, he's modelled after Lawrence Tierney, specifically the creators' recollections of working with him for a guest appearance on The Simpsons.
- Perpetual Frowner: He always looks angry, even when he's not. This is pointed out when he and Gus were making The Man from Pluto, and the solution was to stick a lightbulb on Gus' chest to indicate when his character was supposed to be mad.
- Real Men Eat Meat: No pun on his sexuality intended. His diner only serves your typical diner food, meaning a lot of meat, but no salad. If anyone asks for one, he just dumps hot dog relish on a cabbage.
- Younger Than They Look: This is the case for Gus back in 1958, the year when he and Wally first met. Wally looks significantly younger, but Gus looks pretty much exactly the same as he does in the present day, but slightly less pudgy.
Wally Langford
Voiced by: Tom Kenny
Gus' partner. Wally is a former cinematographer/film director who now works as the projectionist at a movie theater that only plays classic films.
- Berserk Button: For how much of a stretch of "Berserk" a more mellow guy like Wally can get. Outside of the occasional couple's spat with Gus which is more some minor gripes, Wally really doesn't like art being tampered with. He seems the most exasperated with Kevin when Kevin had difficulty understanding old classic cinema, and he was distraught when Andy casually got his fingerprints all over the vinyl Wally lent Andy in "Pretty in Pink".
- Camp Gay: Downplayed. He's a bit more feminine than his Manly Gay boyfriend, but he's not completely over-the-top. "Prissy" would be a better word to describe him. In fact, the idea of dressing in revealing, flamboyant hotpants is repugnant to him, and to Gus as well.Gus: No self respectin' gay man would be caught dead in them trunks.Wally: I would die TWICE if anyone saw me wearing those.
- Death Glare: He gives one to Kevin after he went around all of Mission Hill promoting Wally's film The Man From Pluto. Wally leaves the theater after everyone starts laughing at how bad the movie is, and after Kevin and the rest of the gang try to stop him from leaving, Wally's Death Glare stops them all cold in their tracks.
- Love at First Sight: Wally first fell in love with Gus on the set of a film, when Gus was just the guy who moved sets and props around.
- Love Makes You Dumb: He replaced the star of his film with Gus, who can't act at all. This was the beginning of the end for Wally's film career.
- The Movie Buff: Wally is highly knowledgeable about classic films, which makes sense since he used to work in film and is currently a projectionist who watches classics all day long. The plot of "Plan 9 from Mission Hill" starts with him bonding with Kevin over movies.
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: In "Plan 9 from Mission Hill", Wally's past as an aspiring film director is revealed, and because of the laughably bad film he made, he essentially becomes Ed Wood. Incidentally, Gus, who starred in Wally's movie, happens to resemble Tor Johnson, a wrestler/actor known for appearing in Ed Wood's films.
- Old Shame: His directorial debut film, The Man From Pluto. When he was first given the opportunity to direct, it was called They Come From the Stars. He had big-name actors lined up for the movie, and full backing from the studio, but that all fell apart when he made the decision to have his boyfriend, Gus, be put in the lead role, who can't act at all. Afterwards, he lost all of his other actors, and was forced to shoot the film in cheap, run down sets. The end product was a complete disaster that cost him his film career. He eventually gets over it when Kevin points out to him the joy the people of Mission Hill get from watching it as a So Bad, It's Good movie.
- Pen Name: As a director, he went under the name Walter L. Ford. He's also apparently responsible for giving other stars their names. Before he was Charlton Heston, he was Charlton Hestopolis, and before he was Paul Newman, he was Paul McNewman.
Carlos Hernandez
Voiced by: Herbert Siguenza
A painter and father who lives with his wife Natalie, and their child, Baby Nameless.
- Nice Guy: Both he and his wife are very nice and sweet to Andy and his friends.
- Papa Wolf: When he believes that a giant snake has swallowed his baby, he readily leaps off the roof and onto a flag pole to get to it.
- Starving Artist: Averted. Unlike Andy, who wants to be a cartoonist but works in a waterbed store, Carlos is a painter whose artwork is featured in galleries. Comedically, when Andy is looking for work and tried to be a caricature artist, Carlos said Andy shouldn't prostitute his art and a true artist would rather starve. Cue Gus giving Carlos a big burger meal and Carlos sliding the bill to Natalie.
Natalie Leibowitz-Hernandez
Voiced by: Vicki Lewis
She lives in the apartment with her husband, Carlos, and their child, Baby Nameless.
- Animal Wrongs Group: She's a part of one. They break into an animal testing lab to save the animals in there, some of which end up missing the lab, like the poor cigarette-addicted monkey who is now forced to listen to a kumbaya playing hippie.
- Granola Girl: A different one from Posey. Instead of being organic and spiritual, Natalie concerns herself with animal rights, and refuses to give her child a name to avoid conforming to gender norms.
- Mama Bear: Like her husband she became very protective of her baby when she thinks a giant snake consumed him.Natalie: Screw activism, that slimy bastard's gonna die!
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: Modeled after writer and historian Lois Leveen
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Baby Nameless
Voiced by: Mary Oakley (daughter of Bill Oakley)
The infant child of Natalie and Carlos, who has yet to be given an actual name, to avoid "affirming gender norms".
- Ambiguous Gender: Deliberatly invoked by their parents, who hasn't named their child yet to avoid conforming to gender norms at such a young age.
- Cheerful Child: A very happy and energetic baby, to the point that they never even cry on-screen.
- Pet Monstrosity: Ends up bonding with the boa constrictor Natalie rescued from an animal lab in "Kevin's Birthday" which becomes their pet snake.
- The Unintelligible: Doesn't speak yet, and communicates through typical baby babble and giggling.
Gwen
Voiced by: Jane Wiedlin
Andy's on-again off-again girlfriend and co-worker at the waterbed store.
- Abhorrent Admirer: Toby is implied to have a crush on her, to her discomfort.
- Depending on the Writer: Her relationship with Andy and general personality tends to vary from episode to episode. She can either be laid-back and cool, or snarky and easily annoyed.
- Even the Girls Want Her: In the unaired "Pretty in Pink" episode, she and Posey dance together very sensually.
- Ms. Fanservice: As far as the art style allows for one anyway.
- Shout-Out: Gwen has a Go-Go's poster in her room (her being voiced by Jane Wiedlin of The Go-Go's).
- Tsundere: She's very sweet on Andy but her irritable side tends to come out when he can't commit to her.
Toby Mundorf
Voiced by: Josh Weinstein
One of Kevin's new friends upon moving to Mission Hill. He's a fat, cowardly nerd with a highly overprotective mother.
- Beware the Nice Ones: In an online game, Kevin sold Toby's viking avatar into slavery, after Toby fell asleep when he was supposed to be defending their fortress. When Toby finds out, he swears revenge on Kevin.
- Butt-Monkey: He gets chased by a rabid dog in one episode and spends most of the episode trying to call for help but to no avail.
- Creator Cameo: He is voiced by one of the show's co-creators.
- Fat Best Friend: He's this to Kevin and George.
- My Beloved Smother: He has one. She calls Toby and his friends "The Jolly Boys" and is afraid of having Toby walk to school. Turns out she was right to be worried, as he was stalked by a rabid dog for a whole day.
- Nerdy Inhaler: He has asthma.
George Bang
Voiced by: Bill Oakley
Kevin's other friend in Mission Hill. He's a Korean nerd whose father runs the local convenience store, where he occasionally works.
- Asian and Nerdy: He's Korean, and he's into the same nerdy sci-fi as Kevin and Toby.
- Asian Store-Owner: George's father runs the local convenience store, where George also occasionally works.
- Butt-Monkey: He gets pushed around by everyone around him. Even his best friends aren't above mistreating him.
- Creator Cameo: He is voiced by one of the show's co-creators.
Ron
Voiced by: Nick Jameson
The owner of the waterbed store where Andy and Gwen work. He's an angry Armenian who mistreats his employees and embezzles money.
- Abusive Parents: He offhandedly mentions that he's abandoned his mentally ill son.
- Angrish: Whenever he's particularly angry, he explodes into a combination of this and his country's native language.
- Bad Boss: He overworks his employees, thinks lowly of women, and generally spends as little time actually working as possible. He either leaves to go to a strip joint or goes into his office to do cocaine.
- Basement-Dweller: A possibly inverted case where he still lives with his mother, but he's clearly the one in charge, and he doesn't treat her well.
- Berserk Button: By far what set him off most was Kevin telling him that his luxury Ferraro was destroyed. He even explicitly states that he'll kill Kevin's whole family for it. Fortunately he's in prison at the time.
- Big Ol' Unibrow: Has a big thick black unibrow.
- Cool Car: He has a luxury sports car, a Ferraro, which he gives to Kevin after his arrest in order to keep the IRS from taking it. Kevin accidently destroys it while trying to move it off the freeway when the battery died.
- Faking the Dead: He says in "Andy Gets A Promotion" that the IRS thinks he's dead, likely to get out of paying taxes. Two episodes later, he's arrested for tax evasion.
- Fat Bastard: He is overweight and an overall awful human being.
- Funny Foreigner: He's Armenian and prone to fits of anger.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: Has a very short temper for an Armenian man.
- Jerkass: He constantly mistreats his employees and all of the women he dates.
- Kavorka Man: He's usually seen with women far more attractive than he could ever hope to be.
- Put on a Prison Bus: He's arrested by the IRS for tax evasion. Had the show gone on, he would have been replaced by a man named Don, who is essentially just Ron, but he's a Fat, Sweaty Southerner in a White Suit rather than a Funny Foreigner.
- Self-Made Man: In "Andy Gets A Promotion", Ron says he came to America three years prior with nothing but a can of herring and a box of ammunition, and in that time, worked his way up to being the owner of a waterbed store.
- Straw Misogynist: He has a very low opinion of women in general. When he's looking for someone to be his assistant manager, all of the women at the store are immediately disqualified for their gender. The only women he hangs around with are strippers, and he even marries one. Even his own mother is not immune from his anger.
Mr. and Mrs. French
Voiced by: Nick Jameson and Tress MacNeille
Andy and Kevin's parents, who have moved to Wyoming, leaving Kevin and Stogie in Andy's care.
- The Bore: Mr. French is an incredibly unemotional and boring man.
- My Beloved Smother: Mrs. French, particularly towards Kevin. Her constant coddling turned him into a sheltered nerd who's afraid to break the rules and tells on his brother for every little thing. This is to contrast their father, who is soft spoken but does generally seem to respect his children's boundaries. For example in the real world episode, Andy had the tapes in a hidden box and Kevin called his parents to have permission to open it. Mr. French said to let Andy have his private box, Mrs. French immediately told Kevin to open it and run away if it's a gun.
Eunice "Weirdie" Eulmeyer
Voiced by: Jennifer Jason Leigh
A creepy female classmate of Kevin's who he tries to get romantically involved with after he finds out her father could be his ticket to a Yale recommendation.
- Alliterative Name: Her actual name is Eunice Eulmeyer.
- Even Nerds Have Standards: She may look like one, but even she thinks Kevin is a big dork. Though she did seem to have feelings for him, until she learns that he was just using her.
- Hidden Depths: When she and Kevin infiltrate an army base to get back her father's letter of recommendation to Yale, she's shown to be a surprisingly good actor and quick thinker. She first pretends to be a frightened child looking for her scientist father in order to gain access to the room where the files are in. Afterwards, when a guard is about to catch them in there, she starts making out with Kevin and acting like a sexy girlfriend, in order to say that they went in there on a dare.
- Insult of Endearment: She calls Kevin "Water Balloon" for some reason, and still calls him that after they become friends.
- Nerd Glasses: She wears glasses and is a nerd like Kevin.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: Everyone calls her "Weirdie". Her real name is Eunice Eulmeyer.
- Thousand-Yard Stare: It's part of why she creeps everyone out.
- Tiny Guy, Huge Girl: Weirdie is taller than Kevin.
Griffo and C-Dog
Voiced by: Tom Kenny and Scott Menville
Two bullies that go to Kevin's school. Their real names are Jonathan Griffin and Christopher Dodge.
- Disproportionate Retribution: The two of them are arrested for attempting to burn down the convenience store and murder Kevin, and are set to get 25 to life in prison. However, they didn't start the fire and didn't try to kill Kevin, all they did was steal $53 from the register. Kevin had to admit in court the embarrassing accident that lead to their wrongful conviction.
- Eye-Obscuring Hat: C-Dog wears one. In fact we never see what his eyes look like considering that his hat hides his eyes which means we can't see them and thus we don't know what they look like.
- Jerkass: Absolutely nobody likes them, and when the two end up being wrongfully arrested for arson and the attempted murder of Kevin, the teachers all end up celebrating together in the faculty lounge. When Kevin admits what really happened to one of the teachers, he wants Kevin to outright lie in court in order to have them convicted, otherwise he'll tell Yale he was masturbating in a convenience store restroom.
- Karma Houdini: They didn't burn down the convenience store or try to murder Kevin, but they still did steal $53 dollars from the store's register, among other bad things, like general bullying and crapping in one of the teacher's drawers. They get off scott-free in the end.
- Karma Houdini Warranty: Kevin and his friends successfully get back at them in the unproduced episode "Meditations on a Career in Advertising".
- The Nicknamer: C-Dog refers to Kevin as "Whack Man" after catching him in a restroom with a porno magazine.
- Those Two Guys: Often seen together, bullying Kevin and his friends.
Penis Pervert
Voiced by: Tom Kenny
A minor character who for some reason walks up to random people just to repeatedly whisper the word "penis" to them.
- All There in the Script: The script gives his actual designation as Concerned Businessman, but most fans refer to him as the Penis Pervert due to his most notable attribute being his habit of whispering "penis" to people.
- Cloudcuckoolander: He's a total weirdo who repeatedly whispers the word "penis" to people.
