Characters / Kakyoin Waifu Connoisseur - The Hosts

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The Hosts

In General

(L-R): Daitomodachi, Daki, Noriaki Kakyoin

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• Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: Despite how much flak they give each other on a weekly basis, they do show moments where they genuinely care about each other.
  Daki: Don't. Do it.
  Kakyoin: And why would you care? You love bullying me!
  Daki: Yeah, I do. But... Even you don't deserve playing LoL, Kaky. It's like what Dai said. No amount of coochie is worth it. Despite the grief Dai and I give you, we still care about you. Please, Kaky. Don't do it. LoL is cancer, but you're not.
• Blonde, Brunette, Redhead: The trio consist of the blonde Daki, the brunette Dai, and the redheaded Kakyoin.
• Death Is Cheap: All three hosts (especially Kakyoin) have died at least once and are usually brought back to life in the next episode.
• Two Guys and a Girl

Kakyoin

Noriaki Kakyoin

Kakyoin Voiced by: Yaroshien
Hierophant Green Voiced by: Yaroshien (Credited as "Kakyoin" in Demon Bulma episode)

^{Click here to see him as a furry.}

^{Click here to see Padoru Kakyoin.}

^{Hierophant Green}

The main host of the show.

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• Adaptational Dumbass: Canon!Kakyoin is considered The Smart Guy of the Stardust Crusaders alongside Avdol. KWC!Kakyoin is so stupid that he literally votes blind in elections, is willing to tell someone that he was just concerned about robbing him that he has thousands on him, and can't work a toaster oven without Dai's help. Likely due to the fact that this Kakyoin is based off his Memetic MILF Hunter interpretation.
• Bystander Syndrome: To the point of it being a Running Gag. Every time Kakyoin tries to get Hierophant Green to help him, it's either distracted by something, is easily dealt with, or just watches its user die while recording it.
• Butt-Monkey: It would be easier to count the number of times that he doesn't get hurt or killed.
• Casual Kink: In the Bea episode, he refers to being tied up as "just like my Friday nights".
• Companion Cube: The Loli Button is this to him. He even has an Imagine Spot where he has children with it!
• Cool Shades: He sports shades when he's turned into a Padoru version of himself.
• Driven to Suicide:
  • Hierophant Green shoots itself with an Emerald Splash after seeing Krillin and Android 18 having sex.
    Kakyoin: You fucking coward!
  • Both Kakyoin and Daki end up shooting each other in order to not hear Elsa sing "Let It Go" anymore.
• Everyone Has Standards: Kakyoin may be a lech, but he has a number of lines he won't cross:
  • Kakyoin is on the Pædo Hunt, to the point where, despite previously being enamored by Lucoa, when she points out she's a paedophile, Kakyoin immediately gets her arrested.
  • Kakyoin spends much of the The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword episode chastising Zelda for not having sex with Link, feeling that, after leaving his home, traveling through time, and killing the source of all evil for her, Link was entitled to some T&A (and feeling sorry for the guy being blueballed). That said, Zelda did genuinely want to, and it only didn't happen because Poor Communication Kills, and, once Kakyoin mentions Link is a mute, she quickly rushes to him to screw his lights out.
  • While he's more than willing to screw the many waifus on his show, even he's not willing to do that with Jolyne due to her being the daughter of his friend.
  • He's disgusted by how Ash treats his girls (putting them in pokeballs), so much that he traps him in a pokeball of his own.
• Expressive Hair: The long strand of hair on the side of his head will sometimes move to indicate... something.
• Heroic BSoD: Played for Laughs. Suffers from this after finding out Astolfo is a guy.
  Kakyoin: Kakyoin.exe has failed to load. Does not compute.
• In-Series Nickname: He tends to be called "Kaky" by Daki and some of the more flirtatious waifus.
• Noble Bird of Prey: He gets turned into a humanoid bird, though "noble" is very debatable.
• Noodle Incident: For some reason, he's not allowed in the state of Tennessee.
• Rage Breaking Point:
  • He hits this near the end of the Speedwagon episode due to Speedwagon being the guest despite not being a waifu.
    Kakyoin: Misplaced anger- I mean Speedwagon. I do not care how useful you are to the Joestar family. I do not care if all of our fans say that you are a waifu. YOU. AREN'T. A. WAIFU! So unless you can grow some tits and drop your dick, GET THE FUCK OFF MY FUCKING SHOW!
  • He also hits this when he discovers that Daki had him turned into a birdman.
    Kakyoin: DAAAKIIII!
    Daki: Yes~~?
    Kakyoin: EXPLAIN.
    Daki: Well~~, I used the money used to fill the Loli Pit with alligators...
    Kakyoin: I'm going to fucking kill her! I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL HER! RIGHT NO-!
• Smite Me, O Mighty Smiter: Challenges Aqua to smite him after insulting her. She then pulls out her gun.
  Kakyoin: Oh, that's just a gu-
• Smoking Hot Sex: He's seen smoking after having sex with Samus.
• Straight Man and Wise Guy: He's the Wise Guy to Dai's Straight Man.
• Teeny Weenie: He's accused of having one by Twilight Princess Zelda.
  Kakyoin: Do you want my own D?
  Twilight Princess Zelda: I cannot own what does not exist.
  Kakyoin: Hey! I have a D!
  Twilight Princess Zelda: Could've fooled me.
  (Beat)
  Kakyoin: That's all I have for the week folks. I have no ending joke.
  Twilight Princess Zelda: (chuckles) Your D is an ending joke.
  EMOTIONAL CRIT!!!
• They Killed Kenny Again: Kakyoin has, among other things, been gunned down by Revy, ejected himself into space, and ripped to pieces by Doom Slayer, and always turns up fine again in the next episode. He's died on the show so many times that Dai and Daki aren't surprised when it happens and expect him to come back by the next episode.

Dai

Daitomodachi

Voiced by: Himself

^{Click here to see him without his glasses.}

^{Click here to see Padoru Dai.}

The creator and co-host of the show.

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• Cool Shades: He's regularly seen wearing Kamina's signature shades.
• Everyone Has Standards: Dai is into yandere girls but he wants nothing to do with legitimately insane girls like Yuno Gasai who falls under the "No dick can fix her" category.
• Good Feels Good: He admits to himself that it felt good being nice when he paid Rouge's appearance fee to cheer Kakyoin and Daki up.
• Green-Eyed Monster: During the Pyra/Mythra episode, he gets so jealous over Kakyoin getting Pyra's affection, he blows Kakyoin's brains out.
• Has a Type: If the 2023 "Yandere Month" is any indication, it seems that Dai has a thing for girls that are obsessive with their love and willing to commit violence and/or murder against others.
• I Need a Freaking Drink: Asks where his vodka is at the end of Marge's interview.
• Not So Above It All: Tends to join in on Kakyoin's antics from time to time.
• Only Known by Their Nickname: He's almost always referred to as "Dai". The only exception is in the description of the Asuka episode, where she calls him "Mr. Tomodachi"
• Reset Button: As revealed in the Toga episode, he acts as this whenever Kakyoin dies or when the set is trashed.
  Dai: Ugh... Guess I have to reset everything again! What is this, the 8th time?
• Sanity Slippage: It's clear that Yandere Month was slowly driving driving him insane, though he does go back to normal after the month ended.
• Straight Man and Wise Guy: He's the Straight Man to Kakyoin's Wise Guy.
• Trauma Button: Nessa is this due to her wiping his entire team during his Pokémon Sword Nuzlocke playthrough. This is no longer the case after he beat her in their rematch.
• You Can Keep Her!: When Tanjiro tries to give Kakyoin back, he insists that Tanjiro take him. This leads to the two of them to argue over him for over three hours.
  Tanjiro: Okay. You can take him back.
  Dai: Dude, he screwed the freaking loli button! I don't want him! You can keep him.
  Tanjiro: What?! I don't want to keep him! His right hand smells fishy.
  Kakyoin: I get very lonely on Mondays.

Daki

Daki

Voiced by: Nikochan

^{Click here to see her redesign.}

^{Click here to see Padoru Daki.}

The new co-host of the show alongside Kakyoin and Dai.

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• All Women Are Lustful: Daki is shown to get just as horny for a number of waifus as Kakyoin can, or even more than him in some cases.
• A Day in the Limelight: She has a short dedicated to her, where she accidentally runs over Android 18.
• But Liquor Is Quicker: She apparently got drunk during a Christmas party and slept with Astolfo.
• Driven to Suicide: Both she and Kakyoin end up shooting each other in order to not hear Elsa sing "Let It Go" anymore.
• Even the Girls Want Her: She has been on the giving end of this, as she has openly expressed an attraction to She-Hulk, Bayonetta, Makima, Sakura Haruno, Rouge the Bat, and Ahsoka Tano.
• Everyone Has Standards:
  • When Starfire sucker punched Kakyoin off the set, Daki actually expresses genuine concern for him. This shows that, despite wanting to make his life a living hell, she somewhat cares about him.
  • When Dai admits to using Android 21 for marketing purposes, she says that even she thinks that's messed up.
  • Apparently not even she can stand being in a Disney musical number, as she discovered when Elsa came onto the show. It was bad enough to drive her to kill herself along with Kakyoin in order to escape it.
  • For all the grief she gives Kakyoin, not even she is willing to let him be submitted to playing League of Legends, saying no amount of sex is worth being forced to play what she describes as a toxic game.
• Fashionable Asymmetry: Downplayed. She's seen wearing only one thigh-high sock.
• The Gadfly: Ever since her debut, she's done everything she can to mess with Kakyoin. She even explicitly states she wants to make his life a living hell.
• Girlish Pigtails: She has her hair tied up into a pair of pigtails.
• Green-Eyed Monster: She reacts in envy to Makima giving attention to Kakyoin, biting and hitting the table in a jealous rage.
• In-Series Nickname: She tends to be called "Red Cap" by Kakyoin.
• Let's You and Him Fight: She has Kakyoin turned into a birdman in order for Samus to kill him. Unfortunately for her, Samus just ends up sleeping with him.
• Noodle Incident: The Ahsoka episode reveals that she's apparently been in seven cults.
• Not So Above It All: She's just as capable of getting excited for the guest waifus as Kakyoin, such as expressing jealousy with him being Makima's "dog", being over the moon in joy at Rouge appearing, or overtly oggling Ahsoka's backside.
• Original Character
• Pet the Dog: Although she liked to make Kakyoin suffer, she has shown that she cares for him deep down. She expressed concern for him after he got injured by Starfire, and later tried to talk Kakyoin out of signing up for a League of Legends account in exchange for sex with Jinx, saying no one deserves to go through something as toxic as that.
• Rage Breaking Point: After getting killed three different times during Yandere Month, she finally had enough when Yuno tries to kill everyone to have Dai for herself.
  Daki: THAT'S IT! I am sick and tired of dealing with you crazy yandere bitches all month! I've been killed in each episode, but today I DO THE KILLING!
  Yuno: *Laughs hysterically* I'd like to see you try, you little- (Gets shot in the heart)
  Daki: Bitch, I don't try. I do.
• The Smurfette Principle: She's the only girl amongst the three hosts.
• Wingding Eyes: When she's turned into a Padoru version of herself, she sports stars in her eyes.