"Will you face me? This tube goes by many names, some you are not worthy to hear. The Waking-Dragon, coiled, as spring dawns. Hawk's-Harvest, seizing prey in the tall summer grass. Autumn-Razor, the patient hunter. Famine-of-Winter, that kills the babe at its mother's empty breast. So, will you face me? I, who hold the very reins of the world?"
In a VG Catsstrip in which they parody "The Word" section of The Colbert Report: "We didn't spend YEARS as social outcasts to watch you assholes fuck this up. We memorized the Ultra Combos. We wrote down pages of passwords. WE defeated the Robot Masters, knocked out Tyson, and SAVED THE FUCKING PRINCESS."
In A Miracle of Science, Benjamin delivers this boast to a difficult police sergeant: "Sergeant, I've just been to the outer solar system and back to track down a mad scientist. I've been shot at with secret weapons, destroyed robots that could take down tanks, and fallen from orbit without benefit of a re-entry vehicle. I don't need your rudeness added to my troubles, okay?" (He later shortens that last incident to "I've plunged down from orbit on wings of fire".)
I'm the freaking Questor of Freeman Downs! I have slogged through the Dire Swamps, killed a Gragum god-priest and three of his followers single-handed, and waded thru an army of shadow wights to kill a rat-king. I also happen to be the guy who just hospitalized half you big, bad gang, jackass. I have a badge, an arsenal, and a license to kill. The only reason you're still alive is that I didn't want to mess with the paperwork. So feel free to drop by any time, dillweed. I see you, or your friends within a hundred miles of my town and I'll gut you like a trout. What triggers this boast can be seen here.
Subverted a couple of panels later; while the threat takes, the "badass" in question requires a Vomit Discretion Shot from the stress of it, which can be seen here.
"You want to know who I am? I'll tell you who I am— I'm Quentyn, son of Quinn, the Questor of Freeman Downs. The Gnomes call me "Hunter of Shadows." The Gragum call me "Little God-Slayer." The gangs of the Tumbledowns call me Sir, if they know what's good for them. I am one of Oberon's Untouched — kissed by the White Stag and blessed by two ladies of the Seleighe Court. I have slain a Gragum priest-king and three of his followers singlehanded. I have waded through an army of shadow-wights to lay low a rat-king. I have pulled a house down around the ears of not one, but two gangs of thieves. I have slain a swamp kraken, and run before the Wild Hunt — and won. And before I leave this duchy I will add a dead dragon to that list. I am a Rac Cona Daimh, and I am nothing to be trifled with. Do you have any other questions, Your Grace?"
Chaos of El Goonish Shive had one recently, while the left half of her body was amorphous claws and teeth, right before she leaves Magus to eternal isolation in the spirit realm:
"You've asked many time what my name is. I have had many, but I will give you the full one I have chosen for myself.Pandora. Chaos. Raven.Refer to me as one or all. I will live up to that name. Ponder that in your newfound isolation."
You want to see spirits? You want to look into the eyes of the beings that will watch over the end of days? I have seen the fall of empires and the murder of millions! I have shoved that data into files like so many numbers! ... I'm a frickin' angel, babe, and I got nothin' to lose.
Most such boasts are huge, flashy, and overt, filled with eloquent speech and burning emotion. But the truly powerful ones don't need any of that. That just makes Jones' simple statement to Coyote that "You know I can take her if I wish." all the more impressive. She calmly tells Coyote himself, in the heart of his own domain, that if she chose to act, he couldn't stop her. Jones doesn't rant or shout. She doesn't need to, which makes that line all the more badass.
Sluggy Freelance: "My name is Gunman Stan McKurt. And I shoot evil in the face."
The Order of the Stick: In "On the Origin of PCs", Vaarsuvius makes this when trying to convince Roy to let him/her join:
"I am capable of manipulating matter and energy on a subatomic level by speaking. A mere flick of my finger is sufficient to alter the gravitational pull of the planet. I shelve physics texts under 'Fiction' in the library, I consider the laws of thermodynamics loose guidelines at best. In short, I am grasping the reins of the universe's carriage, and every morning I wake up, look to the heavens, and shout, 'Giddy up, boy!' You many never grasp the complexities of what I do, but at least have the common courtesy to feign something other than slack-jawed oblivion in my presence. I, sir, am a wizard, and I break more natural laws before breakfast than of which you are even aware." *
All while casually snapping the table in half with magic, and all without the use of more than one exclamation point.
In one of the early strips, Vaarsuvius presents a similar boast to a gang of goblin mooks. However, the boast itself knocks out the mooks before s/he can back it up with actual magic.
But the best one was a simple observation about V's neighbors in the Monster Manual.
And there's also Belkar Bitterleaf's famous proclamation: "I AM A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!"
Roy gets one of his own the first time he faces Xykon, but it doesn't quite take, because Xykon doesn't recognize his name or the death he's there to avenge.
I'm a goddamn baby-making, life-taking machine! Why should I care how many people I have to kill? I can just make more in my tummy!
Hinjo tries to make his own here but Redcloak knock him down and proceedes with (sort of) his own.
Hinjo: i'm the commander of the Sapphire Guard and I am here to make you pay for your crimes against my city! Prepare to...
*Redcloak knocks Hinjo down with a spell*
Redcloak: Your city? Oh, I'm sorry, I thought somebody would have told you by now. See, this is MY city now, paladin! I figure you owe me one village plus 35 years of interest, so this is a good start!
Xykon to (an invisible) Vaarsuvius: You seem to have an interest in power, so let me educate you a little while I search for you. It's sort of this thing I like to do sometimes, especially for learned wizards such as yourself. Power, it isn't something that you put on or take off like a jacket. It's something you just ARE. If you can lose it by blowing two Will saves, you never really had any power in the first place, see what I'm saying? Hell, the idiot paladin understands better than you do, 'cause he got every one of those hit points I burned off of him the hard way: he earned them. 'Course now he's also earned an upgrade to Prisoner First Class for daring to touch my pretty little bauble. It's sort of the same as how we've already been treating him, only now we get serious about it. Anyhoo, where was I? Oh, right. Your soul shenanigans are real flashy, but they had one weakness: they were shackled to your lame mid-level ass! I used to think spells equaled power, too, back when I was alive. I've learned a lot since then. You know what does equal power? Power. Power equals power. Crazy, huh? But the type of power? Doesn't matter as much as you'd think. It turns out, everything is oddly balanced. Weird, but true. For example: ...Right now, power takes the form of a +8 racial bonus to Listen skill checks. [He grabs V by the throat] So, Uncle Xykon, what's the moral of the story? A big pile of spells isn't enough when the other guy has a big pile of spells AND the strength to crush your windpipe with his bare phalanges. And they died happily ever after. The End.
also, Lien:
My parents were fishermen. When I was a little girl, I stood right here and learned how to clean the fish that they caught. I'm telling you this so that you know that when I say that if you take one more step, I will gut you like the catch of the day — IT IS NOT HYPERBOLE!
"'Wizard'? Are you kidding me? Wizards do parlor tricks. I throttle the heavens!"
"This...this isn't right...this...will not be...I am Sarda. And I am older than time. I possess a power beyond mortal imagination. My plans will not be undone by such amateur-hour horse shit as absorbing too much power and exploding. I am Sarda. My will be done."
Not to mention:
Black Mage: Can we have a minute?
Chaos: I am the yawning chasm from before the before; the darkness after the end of all things. I am nothing and no thing is eternal.
Yorikiro: Call me Yorikiro, Master of Martial arts and wielder of a secret knowledge of fighting style so mystical and great it has no name for all those who witness is perish before they can grasp the immense power before them!!!!
Slick: You see that? Nobody defies my orders twice! My blood runs through the cracked table! My family is why Arel's flags bear crimson hands! I have come for my freedom and nobody, mortal or otherwise, will stop me! I am Slick Mordecai Giovanni, Don of Third Jerusalem! All evidence to the contrary will be dead once I escape! And I will escape, because this... is my last resort!
Dr. McNinja: Do you think I run around with a 12-year-old boy because I like his inferior grasp of girls and higher level math? Do you think I left him with my psychotic parents because I wanted him to die? No, you undead pale ponce! Gordito is the effing Badass Kid! So go ahead and finish up your masterful scheme to make me let you kill me, because Gordito's going to slap around whatever ghost lackey you have like he was a pinata on the mexican day of the dead!
Dominic Deegan spells it out for Celesto at the climax of the Storm of Souls story arc:
In Schlock Mercenary, Kevyn Andreasyn has one that he tends to say in his head, while he is (mostly) dying. Notably it's only played (mostly) straight the first time; after that he starts rambling about how many times he's "cheated the reaper", eventually deciding to just stop keeping track. It goes a little something like this:
"I am Commander Kevyn Andreyasn. I have shaped the destinies of worlds, of nations, of galaxies. I have created and destroyed. I have followed and I have led. I have known love and it has known me back. I flirt with Death for a living and I have cheated the Reaper a lot of times."
Fans! had this recent bit with Rikk and Marc after Hus claimed that Rikk was beaten the last time he was in the field:
Rikk: First off, I got sucker-punched by Captain America. That's like giving Michael Phelps a head start. Secondly, I've spent the last five years with two remarkable women. One of them's one of the toughest, cleverest fighters I've ever seen anywhere. The other is Rumiko Tanaka Oberf! We work hard, but we do make time for each other. And when we're not vegging or sharing a bed...we like to spar! Marc and I aren't here to impress you, Hus. We're here to bring you to justice.
Marc: Bully needs a beatdown! (To Rikk) Yours was way more wootworthy.
Ji Jiao: Everyone knows you haven't fought in ten years.
Master Fei: *after theCurb-Stomp Battle* It's been ten years since anyone spoke of my fights because no one has walked away from them in that time.
Also, Fei quoting Liu Feng:
"I don't know what it's like to hit a man twice."
Sidney Burns delivers one that is essentially his declaration of war in Mob Ties. While simple, when combined with the actions he is performing, it helps to establish his position as the number one badass in the Mob Ties universe.
"If any of you mob assholes even think of hurting Mika... Just remember one thing..." * crushes a steel chair with one hand* "First... You'll have to go... Through Me." * delivers a One-Hit Kill*
And another, which basically states what Sid's ultimate goal is from that moment in the comic onward:
For Mika, I will KILL A GOD.
In L's Empire, Dimentio from Super Paper Mario delivers this to his opponent right before getting beaten up off screen and then blasting them out of the building:
Lightbringer ends its first chapter with its hero taking another look at his hideously corrupted city, and declaring his new mission (to himself, mostly) as he prepares to stop yet another crime from being committed.
Lightbringer: My name is Carter Granholme. I live in Pharos City. Pharos City has been corrupted. Evil has taken hold of it. Criminals no longer fear conducting their business in the right. I will make them afraid of it again.
Sarin (to a criminal holding her friend's girlfriend hostage at gunpoint): I suggest you surrender before I embarrass you. You have my full attention. That means you're beaten.
During the same arc, Combat Medic Goro says, "Never underestimate a guerilla defending their turf. This is a hospital. You're in my jungle now."
Attributed to the founder of the Hearts Society: I am the little flame that never goes out. If you try to stamp on me, I will burn a hole straight through your foot. I am the eternal thorn in the side of emperors, the grain of sand in every tyrant's eye. You have no authority over me.
"We are Exalted. I have been singled out and empowered by the gods. Specifically, by Luna. Endowed with the power to change my own form, and the responsibility to protect the entire world from its enemies. All Exalted are stronger, tougher, even smarter than any normal human. If we will it so, we do not even bleed. Even the greatest sickness gives me only chills, and the most grievous wounds are healed in mere days. Mortal men and women are bound by society, by culture, by destiny. We are not. It is not my place to follow the normal rules of conduct. It is my place to decide what is right or wrong. That has been granted to me by my goddess, Luna. The Moon. In short, in being Exalted, I have divine endorsement to do whatever I please."
Of course, she gave this as explanation for her homewrecking ways, so YMMV.
In one Skin Horse strip, Unity, chained up by a secret cult of Noraties Public, claims to "eat steel like this for breakfast". In the next strip, she meets the Abbess, and Notary Paul warns the Abess she's trouble:
Unity: Yeah, I eat little old ladies like you for breakfast!
Paul: I thought you ate steel for breakfast.
Unity: Oxygen tank.
Near the climax of book 1 of Erfworld, Wanda leads her undead airforce into battle against Ansom with the following chant (if anything made somewhat more menacing by her recent trauma-induced stutter):
Wanda: Rejoice. Despair. Fate does n-not care. Each knotted mmind entwined. Each sso...soul, another's bind. And blind... though we are led, in time, we d-...do know when to cut a thread!
Jack:Sandra... doesn't it worry you how I'm not worried?
Sandra:No. Because you're an idiot.
Jack: Sure. I'm also Plaid Jack Clarity, the Tartan Sorcerer. Walker in infernal fires, he of the intersecting lines. This is my friend Tomie. And you're a bad, bad demon.
Calamitus: Do you think mundane matter could best my formidable necromantic powers? I have transcended the limits of mere flesh and blood...and I will shatter your bodies and dance upon your entrails!
Obi-Wan: But, the Sith are a legend! Anakin: I am the legend!
In thisPrequel page, Gaius gets a particularly badass one.
Gaius: I’ve been in the guard longer than you’ve been alive, breton. I’ve seen frenzied trolls burst forth from the ground, men get ripped to shreds by land-roving dreugh, zombies tear down entire villages with nothing but their teeth, and that’s all in the last two years. I can hit an imp with a bow at three hundred yards, kill a grizzly bear in hand-to-hand combat, and cut a man in half with one swing of a sword. ‘Trembling with fear’ isn’t in my vocabulary. I handle the fear, so you prissy magefolk never have to see it.
