ITT: We are all gods

-And the men of the plains and those of the mountains saw the falling one, and were afraid.-

and Blaine did cackle, and told Gloom of the fall of the iTroper.

And iTroper landed in their village, and his presence caused their illogically obtained hi-tech "artifacts" to glow with a strange aura.

He looked up, saw the fear in their eyes and spoke. "You have nothing to fear from me. I shall lead you to have control over your own fate! To not be mere Cosmic Playthings in the hands of cruel and secretly geeky gods! Let me show you the ways of the l33t g4m3rz and the n00bz and the hax, let me guide you around the tribulations of the many Punk Punk civilizations you would otherwise find yourself trapped in, let me teach you how to Ascend to a Higher Plane of Existence!" he promised. "I promise I will not fail you."

edited 5th May '10 9:47:42 AM by iTroper

(Gloom of the Netherhells? I like it!)

And Gloom looked upon the actions of the iTroper, and his wrath was terrible to behold. He bade Blaine The M0n0 to put an end to the iTroper's sacrelige.

In his absence at school, Taco had let things grow far too insane. And so he raised iTroper up back to godhood, and struck down... uh... and Taco did looke back a page, to check who actually threw the lightning bolt at iTroper. And lo, it was The Jackal, but instead of punishing him, Taco gave him an actual duty: to be the god of pirates, both digital and seafaring. To aid them whenever need be.

Czernobog looked upon this madness, and was displeased. He raised a hand, summoning the dark energies of the Pit, and hurled an orb of darkness at the village, crushing its buildings and transforming the villagers into horrible, misshapen creatures, goats, pigs, wolves, all emaciated and ill-fed. They turned on each other, and great Czernobog was pleased at the slaughter in his name.

And Taco and Czernobog high fived, followed by a fist bump. And so the BRO FIST was born.

I was gonna make a thread like this, but I wasn't sure how people would react.

Xavier, God of Eccentricities, descended from the heavens and spread His weirdery across the land.

And far to the end of the earth, the observant god Keybreak watched as the new pantheon of gods and goddesses waged war upon each other, paying no mind to the mortals below them.

Except for iTroper, who felt no need for war. He did indeed guide them, until the mortals had a glorious civilization of flying cars, Virtual Reality and Crystal Spires and Togas.

And when they reached the highest of all technology, they prepared a grand weapon to liberate the universe of the gods' power. They called this weapon "science" and sought to use it to destroy the worship that was the source of the gods' abilities...

But one did. And seeing the malevolent chaos, Krrackknut did not like it.

And thus did Krrackknut grant an exemplary human a single spark of his power, that he might save man from destruction and teach them survival.

And so was born the first hero.

And Gloom made a hobby out of frying atheists with thunderbolts, accompanied by notes declaring 'Yes We Do'.

And the great God of Good Things Too Eat Edward Current did appear, and lay before the others a magnifigant feast, with much of the game and herded animals of their world, and all the finest edible plant stuffs, and finally for desert, the most holy sacrement of his church, the Brownies Made of Eddie's Secrect Recipe. And lo, Edward was mobbed, as is tradition for such events. And there was much laughter and merriment. And yay, even Gloom of the Netherhells allowed himself a small smirk as Edward tossed him a Brownie topped just as he wanted. Would that the feast of Krrackknut's first hero would have lasted forever...

Alas, it did not.

edited 5th May '10 5:11:54 PM by EddieCurrent

It was then that the Lolcats and Tropers began to fight over what Atheists should call themselves, which grew into hatred, which spawned a great nuclear war.

iTroper, angry at the abuse of his gifts, cursed the people to no longer be capable of using the weapon of science against the gods. "If thou cannot learn to play nice, then thou shalt fight-eth forever over the nature of the universe, whether you believe it-eth created by one or another god or simply by a massive explosion."

And so the Lolcats and Tropers rebuilt their world, but in constant fear of destroying themselves, forever unable to agree on anything enough to prevent the possibility of mutual assured destruction.

edited 5th May '10 5:41:34 PM by iTroper

Seeing the despair brought by itroper, wannabeotaku created Tezuka and made him his prophet. Many good anime and manga came forth. With suchgood, however, must come great evil and so wannabeotaku created the hype machine and shut-ins. From there came the great prophet Tatsuhiro Satou as he battled all manner of beasts to understand his god and tormentor.

edited 5th May '10 5:47:11 PM by wannabeotaku

And seeing this all, Edward did retreat into his kitchen. And the other gods heard a great sob from their over sensitive pantheon mate. And soon, Edward's tears did fall to the earth. And they did form two mighty rivers.

And the great trickster Krrackknut's hero, who we shall call Ethan untill Krrackknut corrects us, did explore these two rivers. And on drinking from the river formed from tears of Edward's left eye, Ethan did declare, "I name this river— is it okay I'm doing this?"

And in the heavens, Taco and Czernobog did display the holy BRO FIST, and Ethan knew it was indeed cool.

"I name this the river Cocoa. And once a week, on Comicsday, shall we come here and take the native pocky plant, and dip it's crispy and tasty branches in it, and also the wafer leaves and nougat sap, and partake of this wonderous gift that Current gave us in his sadness."

And the BRO FIST did appear again, and Ethan knew it was good.

And thus did he travel the great distance to the other river. And after thanking his creator for his awesome demigod like endurance, he did drink of of the second river. And upon tasting it, he declared, "I name this the river Cola, and on RP Gday night, shall we come here, and gather its bubbling waters, and gather the local fruits, the cheez-ees and tater chips, and shall we undertake the RP Gday ritual of the Dice and Papper and Story."

And the BRO FIST did its most elaborate dance, and Ethan smiled. But then Ethan grew sad. And he did hear Krrackknut's voice.

"ETHAN."

"Ow," said Ethan.

"Sorry, is this better?"

"Much."

"Ethan... why are you sad?"

And Ethan did confess, "I know, father. I know that some of the Tropers and the Btards and the LO Lcats shall keep this sacrement. But some will visit Coaca and Cola on days not fitting the sacred acts, and partake of their waters and fruits on days not suiting them. And some will take more than the sacrement requires."

And his fathers voice was serene and a little said. And Krrackknut did say, "Yes. And so shall the balance be retained. For seeing this, shall Edward cry again. And refill the Coaca, and the Cola. There is balance, even in sliding up and down the Scales of Tropedom."

And hearing this, Ethan knew it was true, and continued to explore the world.

And then Krrackknut did stand at Edward's kitchen door, and told him that one joke about the girl from Overathere that aways cracked Edward up. And Edward did emerge with brownies, and was mobbed, and the BRO FIST let the people that the gods were... okay, any way, and not about to smite them all.

Except the mouthier atheists, but Gloom needed his LOLs.

And Rumetzen looked down upon his creation, and he saw that it was good and righteous, and he was pleased. And then he spaketh unto Eddie, king of the troperites, and set forth these sacred commandments:

1) Though shall not troll
2) Though shall sockpuppet for comedic effect, and only for comedic effect
3) Though shall honor thy fellow troper
4) Though shall not the failure of research go unpunished, for this is a sin against Me
5) Though shall not spam
6) Though shall not raid thy neighboring website
7) Though shall not issue personal attacks, for when you attack your forummate you attack me
8) Though shall keep wangsting in the wangsting thread
9) Though shall create a group of sacred tropers, and these tropers shall be known as admins, and they will be good
10) Though shall not ban evade

edited 5th May '10 6:44:29 PM by rumetzen

And all the creatures of the world were vexed.

"Why does our father grace Man with a hero, but not us?"

And thus did they experiment, to make their own heroes, and the earth was filled with their twisted results.

And then Rumetzen did spake upon his subjects, saying "Chaos has decended upon the earth. Ye must create a place, a place for order." And the Troperites heard this, and they created Tvtropes, and it was good.

And so, wannabeotaku, upon seeing the horrible creations that other creatures made into heroes, did all he could to smite them. However, he realized he could not do so and thusly put them into the internet, onto their own websites, wherein they live forever, heroes to homever should search for them.

edited 5th May '10 6:46:53 PM by wannabeotaku

Out of these, one creator emerged, more twisted and evil than the rest. His name was Nick The Swing. Out of his mind he spun many heroes, all villainous, unstoppable assholes, who did god mode, and was hence forth struck down by many different Tropers. But, to this day, Nick The Swing's creations, and his generals, Robbie Rotten and Trope Kira, continue to torment Taco with their FUCKING BULLSHIT CHARACTERS THAT THEY FAIL TO SEE WHY THEY SUCK SO BAD! And so, Starbound2 did flip the fuck out on Robbie Rotten:

Do you want more specifics?

Having your character casually off 50% of the world's population in JUST HIS CHARACTER PROFILE is a catastrophic event that totally fucks with the setting. It's basically going "Hey, look at my character! He's so evil! He's so evil, you'll need to change the entire fucking story just to accommodate for him!"

And on a related note, having the superpower of every super villain ever? Are you fucking kidding me? Do you not see how that smacks of godmodding and overpoweredness? Do you not comprehend just how stupid your character is, or are you even stupider than the concept you came up with? I mean, GOD DAMN.

And then rumetzen bestowed upon the false heroes the names of 'Goatse', 'Two Girls One Cup', and 'ED Offended', and issued an eleventh commandment, saying that the mind of all who gazed upon the false heroes would be desecrated, and there soul banned from the eternal bliss of Tvtropes.

OOC: Uh, wow. Um... is it okay to say that?

edited 5th May '10 6:53:11 PM by rumetzen

And seeing taco's rage wannabeotaku created the it just bugs me thread and it was good

And Czernobog wondered why Taco displayed such rage in a thread where all were gods.

Who the heck is Nick The Swing? And did he really have a troubled childhood where everyone treated him like crap or was he just making shit up to get undeserved sympathy? Not that it matters either way if he's a terrible writer. Also, there seems to be a lot of these guys lately... Demongodofchaos, ryal to name two.

It was then that iTroper begun planning in secret... planning to overthrow the dark elder god Gloom and destroy the underworld, freeing those souls of good nature and creating a new afterlife, a Utopia. He would store it on the network of metal stars orbiting the world, forming a Virtual Reality, and he would call this utopia "Sugar Wiki".

edited 6th May '10 12:30:42 AM by iTroper