Buying drinks from SCP-294

Result: Test subject now speaks the truth, and only the truth. Terminated when he started to reveal secrets of the SCP foundation to the press.

Test: A cup of Ka-Girl.

“Can we please sneak the result into the breakroom coffee?” -Doctor Bacteria

(Fine, I’ll do it myself.)

Result: A cup of hot pink fluid. Doctor Jason requested to drink it, and when he did so, he was turned into a female redhead that goes by the name of “Sonja.” Nothing else, really, except that Doctor Anne Onymous was interested in it.

Doctor Bacteria’s request has been denied.

“Bacteria, if you don’t stop this behavior, you will clean 682’s pen with your teeth.” - Doctor Clef

Request: A cup of bump

Result: The dispensed cup was given to a Class-D subject, who, upon drinking began violently bumping into things - The subject eventually self-terminated due to [DATA EXPUNGED]

Memo from Dr. Clef: Hmm. Investigate uses against enemy operatives...

Request: A cup of three wishes

Edited by RaisusTheFlammie on Mar 12th 2019 at 4:59:20 PM

Result: Given to a D-class, their first wish was to be outside the facility. Before they could make the second they were terminated 1 foot away from the facility.

"Ok, no more wish related drinks cause we don't want to end up having a containment breach." -Dr J.

Request: A cup of Dr Bright's famous punch

"JESUS, Dr Bright! What the hell did you put in that stuff?" -Dr Clef

"Oh, just the essentials. Some fruits, vodka, tea, krokodil" Dr Bright

Edited by Jaxfirebus on Mar 12th 2019 at 10:45:11 AM

Result: D-Class was given the drink, and instantly became a cannibal. This was shown when another D-Class came in and the consumer [DATA EXPUNGED].

Request: A cup of snotty bratty horrible children ground into a paste.

Edited by Routeferret on Mar 12th 2019 at 5:34:16 PM

Result: [TEST CANCELLED]

”What the hell is wrong with you?” - Doctor Bacteria

Test: A cup of They Killed Kenny Again

Request: A cup of water that whenever ordered and drunk, Kenny McCormick drops dead

Test: A cup of "something that will make me immune to anything anomalous, no matter how powerful"

Result: A cup that made subjects immune to pain

A cup of Nebby ( the cosmog)

Fine then

A cup that has a odorless substance. The drink tastes like cotton candy mixed with chocolate. When drank, the person who drinked it will turn into a Cosmog. All the other people in the room will attract other Cosmogs.

Result: Nothing. You didn’t specify anything.

Test: A cup of Worms

Result: SCP-2141 has breached containment and taken residence within the cup. Nice going.

Test: A cup of Hollow Knight.

answer to the one on the top.

A cup that disembowels the drinker

A cup of And I Must Sceeam

Result: A poison that permanently paralyses who drinks it, and they no longer age or need sustenance, along with being Made of Iron. What were you thinking?! Now we're trying to find a way of giving them a Mercy Kill or, failing that, a way to keep them in peace and entertained with their Fate Worse than Death

Test: Surprise me

Edited by RJ-19-CLOVIS-93 on Mar 13th 2019 at 9:14:57 PM

Result: [TEST CANCELLED]

“[EXPLETIVE REDACTED] no! Not after last time! Do you even read the records?” -Doctor Bacteria

Test: a cup of Robot Chicken

Result: A hot, yellowy-golden liquid in a polystyrene cup that, when administered to a Class-D subject said it tasted like his mother's Chicken soup with a metallic flavour

Request: A cup of Neow

Result: A slurry of meat and bone. DNA analysis revealed it to be mostly whale with some unknown DNA in it as well. When drunk it provides increased physical performance for a duration of [REDACTED] hours. Was stated to be "very stinky" and "Gummy" by the D-115.

Addendum: After a containment breach footage was found of D-115 reanimating after being impaled by SCP-[DATA EXPUNGED]. 115 has filed a application to become a MTF after discovering this. Application currently pending.

Request: The meaning of life

Result: It looks, and probably tastes different to everyone. Case in point, I saw it as an every changing drink while one of the more Jaded D-Class saw nothing in the cup. we had said D-Class drink it and he said that it tasted like nothing.

Test: A cup of Fae Magic

Result: A sparkly drink that gave whoever drinks it varying degrees of fae magic, until it was urinated out

Test: A cup of "something that'll make me immune to SCP-2718". I haven't been told what it is or looked at the document, so I'm not breaking protocol. It's just that the viewed description is oddly emotional, so I assume it's pretty bad whatever is and it's better safe than sorry. Test it on a D-Class first before being safe for other people

Result: A cup of black odorless liquid. D-class fell into a coma shortly after drinking lasting [REDACTED] hours. When the D-class that drank the fluid was terminated during protocol [REDACTED] his body vanished in a bright burst of light. 2718 is to be relocated and resecreued and all members of the foundation are to be informed that mere knowledge of 2718 is dangerous and all parties involved in this test shall be given XKS class amenstics.

Request: A cup of omnipotence

Was requested by O-5 member [DATA EXPUNGED] for [REDACTED] and was approved by all members.

Result: Denied, for obvious reasons. We're pretty sure the request was from Dr Bright somehow getting past clearance and passing it off as the O5 Council

Test: The best drink money can buy. Do it multiple times, I'm curious as to how it responds to purely opinionated choices

Edited by RJ-19-CLOVIS-93 on Mar 18th 2019 at 5:42:07 AM

Subject 1: D-13048: Subject suffers suicidal tendencies and alcohol addiction. SCP-294 dispensed a cup of ethanol. Subject immediately drank the liquid and died shortly after.

Subject 2: D-6065: Subject is a former chaos insurgency member. SCP-294 started emitting a gas later confirmed as an aerosolized form of Botolinum type H. The subject, along with everyone else in the room, died almost instantly. The building had to be decontaminated over the course of three weeks to remove the poison.

Subject 3: Dr. █████: SCP-294 produced an as of yet unidentified liquid. Despite Dr. █████'s protests, they were prohibited from drinking the liquid, mostly on account that it promptly combusted and melted through the cup almost immediately after being dispensed. Subsequent attempts returned an OUT OF RANGE error.

Subject 4: Stan, from accounting: SCP-294 produced a liquid resembling hot milk, which gave off a strong smell of petrol. Testing revealed the liquid was pure cocaine.

Test: A cup of diamond.

Result: A crystalline glass of water with refractive properties. When drunk, subject said that he “felt like a million dollars” and immediately turned into a diamond statue. Terminated with a hammer and chisel.

Request: A cup of ICUP.

Result: A cup of smelly yellowish liquid. Confirmed to be Urine from [REDACTED], immediately disposed of in the incinerator.

Test: A cup of fo puc A

Edited by Jaxfirebus on Mar 22nd 2019 at 7:15:42 AM

Result: It Dispensed a Cup made of Ice filled with liquid Styrofoam

Test: A cup of Off the Rails.

Result: A transparent liquid. Upon ingestion, Site-[REDACTED] undergoes a CK-class Reality Shift, with all known laws of reality temporarily ceasing to be in effect. Approximately [REDACTED] personnel either die, commit suicide, or undergo mental breakdowns in consequence, with multiple containment breaches occurring. Laws of reality partly reinstated by use of Scranton Reality Anchors, with laws of reality fully reinstated after approx. 55 hours.

Test: A cup of Derp.