Gallant and Goofus

Prince Goofus murders Prince Gallant, then forces the widow princess to marry him instead.

Gallant keeps his spendings low, and always has some money to save at the end of the month.

Goofus spends his entire life savings in a single day.

Gallant always follows the speed limit and stops at stop signs.

Goofus put all his money in a bonfire and watched it burn.

Goofus makes a game of driving; each pedestrian is worth 500 points, and property damage is worth 1 point per $100.

Gallant lives in perfect symbiosis with the Nile crocodile, cleaning the crocodile’s teeth for a meal.

Edited by Arcane101 on Feb 21st 2021 at 4:49:14 AM

Of course I've gone mad with power. Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Goofus makes money by killing crocodiles and selling their skin.

Gallant always looks left and right before crossing the road.

The best character is always the one-shot disguise.

Goofus always fires a machine gun left and right before crossing the road.

Gallant follows the Fair Folk's rules and escapes unscathed.

Writer, or something. And... a button? 🖲️

Goofus sells his soul to the Fairy Queen in exchange for something simple.

Gallant the photographer keeps the camera lens clean.

Goofus the vandal smashes Gallant's camera with a rock.

Gallant uses his powers creatively to take down villains with far greater abilities.

Of course I've gone mad with power. Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Goofus just spams the same attack until he does.

Gallant doesn't make Take That! posts. Even at Goofus in a thread that is for some reason made for Take That! posts.

Try out my new forum game! Man this formating is hard.

Goofus loves making unflattering jokes about Your Mom.

Gallant is a bad man, but he still loves his mama.

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

Goofus may be a bad man, but he loved his mama... fried.

Gallant goes to sleep early so he wakes up well-rested in the morning.

Of course I've gone mad with power. Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Goofus goes to sleep at 4:00 am and wake up at 7:00 pm.

Gallant loves manga, but regonizes it's not a perfect medium.

Edited by Superjohn on Aug 15th 2021 at 8:44:42 AM

"I guess I just don't want you to feel like you're nothing. I don't want anybody to feel like that."

Goofus praises manga as if it was a god.

Gallant helpfully points out grammar issues to people who submit events.

Try out my new forum game! Man this formating is hard.

Goofus doesn’t even know grammar.

Gallant hated Out of Jimmy’s Head, so he fixed the concept up and came up with Kirby Buckets.

I no longer edit on TV Tropes but will continue as an occasional forum poster.

Goofus hated Kirby Buckets and thought Cool World was better.

Gallant loves poorly-dubbed martial arts movies from the '60s and '70s.

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

Goofus just watches homemade low-budget martial arts films.

Gallant knows mayonnaise is not an instrument.

I no longer edit on TV Tropes but will continue as an occasional forum poster.

Goofus tried to start a band using only mayonnaise and horse-radish.

Gallant breaks up with his partner if he starts to like someone else.

Currently Working On: Incorruptible Pure Pureness

Goofus has several partners on the side and has sex with everybody!

Gallant always gets at least 8 hours of sleep.

Goofus says "I'll sleep when I'm d—" [kerplunk!]

Gallant flies like an eagle.

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

Goofus swims like an eagle.

Gallant jogs daily to keep fit.

Goofus runs for his life daily because he keeps pissing people off.

Gallant likes to taste his own food before serving it to make sure it came out alright.

It's been 3000 years…

Goofus eats the entire food and then pukes it in the mouths of his guests, like a mother wolf would do.

Gallant waits for his turn at the bank.

The best character is always the one-shot disguise.

Goofus is robbing the bank.

Gallant does not escalate things in hostage situations.

"I guess I just don't want you to feel like you're nothing. I don't want anybody to feel like that."

Goofus shoots the hostages himself, then reneges on any deals made with the hostage-takers.

Gallant bets on Blaseball, but never on baseball.

Edited by WillyFourEyes on Mar 6th 2021 at 8:51:01 AM

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

Goofus always bets on Blaseball and baseball. As well as other sports. And pretty much everything.

Goofus has a serious gambling problem.

---

Gallant is the wealthy owner of Gallant Processing Co. who likes to donate to the community.

Keygen music is good

Goofus of Goofus Corp. funnels the revenue for himself to buy unnecessary crap, leaving his employees penniless.

Gallant always returns the shopping cart to the corral.

It's Over Anakin, I have the high ground!