Braids From S286 Not Included
Goofus steals it and rides it down a hill.
When Gallant get's ninja'd, he quickly edits in his response to the ninja'ing post.
"Rarity, are you okay? We gotta get you and your friends outta here soon!"
Goofus leaves the post unedited for YEARS, and even then he just adds "sorry" to the end of the post.
Gallant hollers posts that break the rules of the forums.
Edited by Routeferret on May 13th 2020 at 7:05:07 PM
i think i’m in love (probably just hungry)
Big Catch, Sparkle Edition
Goofus hollers random people on the forum for giggles.
Gallant is loyal and respectful towards his friends.
Current Project: Incorruptible Pure Pureness
Dwar of Helium
Goofus killed several friends for blinking incorrectly.
Gallant takes several lessons before taking the controls of any aircraft.
Now, I'm going to ask you that question once more. And if you say no, I'm going to shoot you through the head. - John Cleese
An Eldritch Troper
Goofus, Too Dumb to Live, flies an aircraft without understanding what the controls do and crashes the aircraft.
Gallant has revised for the upcoming tests using practice papers.
Humanity is defined by its absurdity, and I am no exception.
Goofus doesn't even know about the test.
Gallant respects women.
Not a Fragile Flower
Goofus abuses women.
Gallant respects people on the spectrum. "Get me a gun, I'm a soldier; but put me in that suit and I'm a superhero." - Gunnery Sgt Roberta "Bobbie" Draper MMC
The Video Guy
Goofus bombs any church that performs gay weddings.
Gallant always formats his posts correctly.
Who are the ones that we kept in charge? Killers, thieves, and lawyers. God's away, god's away, god's away on business... business.
Not a Fragile Flower
Gallant opposes segregation.
Goofus wrote this post. (Note incorrect formatting) "Get me a gun, I'm a soldier; but put me in that suit and I'm a superhero." - Gunnery Sgt Roberta "Bobbie" Draper MMC
Big Catch, Sparkle Edition
Goofus didn't write this post, however.
Gallant doesn't pressure his kids to be like him.
Current Project: Incorruptible Pure Pureness
Goofus forced his kids at gunpoint to walk exactly like him. They were a millimetre off from the distance between his two feet while walking.
Gallant takes out the trash every day.
I have seen the amateur, and it is me.
Goofus takes in the trash every day.
Gallant tosses a penny into a fountain to make a wish.
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!
An Eldritch Troper
Goofus tries to retrieve all the pennies from the fountain.
Gallant, at a pharmacy, prescribes the correct medicine to patients ensuring it's properly labelled and the instructions for medication are clear.
Humanity is defined by its absurdity, and I am no exception.
Not a Fragile Flower
Goofus prescribes Aspirin and Opiates for everything.
Gallant cooks wholesome, nutritious meals for his family every night. "Get me a gun, I'm a soldier; but put me in that suit and I'm a superhero." - Gunnery Sgt Roberta "Bobbie" Draper MMC
Big Catch, Sparkle Edition
Goofus gets his meals out of the city dumpster.
Gallant understands that not everything is black and white, and that everything is nuanced.
Current Project: Incorruptible Pure Pureness
Get heckin crabbed
Goofus believes everything is black and black, and therefore there is no point in not bring as terrible as possible since everything is evil.
Gallant the clown makes kids laugh.
Writer, or something. And... a button? 🖲️
The Video Guy
Goofus the Clown hides kids in his crawl space... whaddya mean, too soon?
Gallant knows his audience at comedy clubs, and always plays to them.
Who are the ones that we kept in charge? Killers, thieves, and lawyers. God's away, god's away, god's away on business... business.
I have seen the amateur, and it is me.
Goofus doesn't tell any jokes, because he knows something is going to be offensive to someone in the crowd, even something as innocuous as "Hi."
Gallant leaves his house hours before leaving on a jet plane.
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!
Dwar of Helium
Goofus charges to his plane at the last minute screaming “GET OUT OF MY WAY!”
Gallant spends time practicing his newfound meta human powers, learning all of his strengths and weaknesses.
Now, I'm going to ask you that question once more. And if you say no, I'm going to shoot you through the head. - John Cleese
Get heckin crabbed
Goofus jumped off of a building to see if he could fly. He couldn't.
Gallant perfects cold fusion and provides free, clean electricity to the world.
Writer, or something. And... a button? 🖲️
See ya later.
Goofus powers his house by burning his neighbours' bones.
Gallant is an atheist but respects people who follow a religion.
You can find me here now.
Big Catch, Sparkle Edition
Goofus runs a cult of angry, rude, disrespectful Atheists. Instead of worshipping a dumb god like everyone else, they worship Goofus. Yup.
Gallant always changes the toilet paper if he uses the last of it.
Current Project: Incorruptible Pure Pureness
The Video Guy
Goofus steals his neighbor's newspaper for toilet paper... then returns the used paper the next day.
Gallant always keeps it clean.
Who are the ones that we kept in charge? Killers, thieves, and lawyers. God's away, god's away, god's away on business... business.
Dwar of Helium
When Goofus talks, it sounds like R2-D2.
Gallant puts a lot of effort into his cosplay.
Now, I'm going to ask you that question once more. And if you say no, I'm going to shoot you through the head. - John Cleese
That's all Goofus ever does.
And since one poster somehow got ninja'd after 25 minutes...
Gallant always returns his shopping cart to the cart corral.
Who are the ones that we kept in charge? Killers, thieves, and lawyers. God's away, god's away, god's away on business... business.